The Beefy Associates of Proskauer Rose
During Kash’s brief foray into the world of corporate law at Covington & Burling, she was initially surprised by the party-hard culture at firm events. Once the majority of the partners left one Friday roof-deck happy hour, the event turned distinctly frat party-esque, with patio tables pushed together for rounds of beer pong.
A tipster sends word of a Proskauer Rose firm event turned Animal House scene. The summer associate class in the Boston office of Proskauer had no problem snagging offers this year — and some Proskauer attorneys were willing to risk their coronary health to bring them on board.
The full tale, with photographic evidence, is available after the jump. It involves lots of drinking, a lot of beef, and excessive eating — all the hallmarks of the summer associate experience.
From the detailed account, we suspect our tipster brought a reporter’s notebook along to the event.
[Last week there] was a farewell party for the Proskauer Rose’s summer associates in Boston. The venue was a nice-but-not-overwhelmingly-so covered roof deck at The Taj, overlooking the Garden and the Common.Earlier that day, it was announced via e-mail that all of the sixteen summers in Boston had received offers, and that six had already accepted. Then another e-mail: make that seven. Then another e-mail: make that eight.
The excitement builds! Is it common these days to have play-by-plays on offer acceptances?
By the time the party was under way that evening, the managing partner mentioned in his token “what a great summer” speech that yet another four summers had accepted, so there were only four holdouts.Then we all had lots of drinks.
Drinking at a summer associate event? Shocking.
The following is hearsay: One of the not-yet-accepted summers casually mentions to one of the partners that she’ll accept if the partner eats the remaining beef on the buffet.Not hearsay: we’re talking about a whole loin of beef — at least four pounds, cooked. Note further, this is *after* everyone had dinner and dessert. Lengthy negotiations ensued, [which] got progressively more and more serious as they became more and more specific. (E.g., did the person eating the beef have to keep it down? Yes, for at least 15 minutes.) At one point, another interested summer associate checked in: “Hey… where are we on beef?”
In the end, the deal was that two summers would accept their offers if two associates could finish the remaining beef in 15 minutes. Two associates rose to the challenge, including one who, as I understand, was a former semi-pro linebacker.
While the beef was being consumed, one of the summers generously granted the associates another five minutes.
20 minutes later: beef consumed. Offers accepted.
By our count, there are still two summer associate hold-outs. If a partner chugs a gallon of milk in under ten minutes, will they accept their offers?
Here’s a photo that has been making the rounds, which we got our grubby paws on. We understand it was taken several minutes into the event, so much of the beef had already been eaten. But look at what’s left — that’s a lot of beef!
(83) 
Comments
That's a lot of beef.
This is high comedy
First to say gross
Is that pot roast, or some sort of pork loin?
Kash--you had me until the milk.
Can anybody identify that associate?
Proskauer associates to colon flushes!
I'm so broke, I need me some Kash.
Good to see that Kash is also now writing in the third person. What is the deal, yo?
Great story - loved the milk joke.
Awesome.
It's half an hour to drink the gallon of milk. And it's still impossible to keep it down.
Beef = Cardiac Arrest.
Bad move if the goal is to create bionic billing machines.
Next year, tofu platters.
As a former Proskauer attorney, I can tell you that this story is not nearly as good as some of the ones I could tell. I'd tell you one about my old office mate, but I know he reads this shit and would be pissed at me.
14 - umm, you can tell the story, no one would know who you are talking about since no one knows who you are. DUMBASS.
What's Proskauer's reputation in Boston? Branch office?
Jeez...our summer associates were NERDS!!! Ugh, hopefully we can do better next summer, but I guess that's part of being in a suburban (oops! I mean "Valley") office.
Shouldn't this be going on at Dewey & LeBoeuf???
Well, I guess this is a better way of trying to get acceptances than offering the holdout SAs "hot beef injections"
Well-played, #18, well-played.
15 - Well, he would know I was sharing his shit on the internet and anyone else from my year would recognize it immediately.
Put it this way, subway benches can be comfortable to sleep on,
Count me in at Proskauer Boston, I was half-interested before but 4 lbs of beef put them over the top.
14/21: It can't be as bad as a guy I know who got drunk with strangers, who then mugged him, and left him in a ditch to then beg for money so he could take the subway home.
What would be considered as someone having "alot" of drinks at these things, 4 or 5?
24- that's wholly dependent on the person's tolerance level. Law firms don't mind paying for liquor, the judging comes when you get sloppy drunk and begin groping your colleagues.
Nice. Funny story, all in good nature, yet slightly gross. A perfect combination. Way to go P Rose!
p.s., can we please get that black and white picture of that crazy old lady with the quote "where's the beef" posted on here?
wait: http://i29.photobucket.com/albums/c290/trebor007/beef.jpg
,.....that's better
What is considered as drinking alot of alcohol at most of these things and/or by folks in general? 4 or 5 drinks?
12 & Kash: its actually an hour to drink the gallon of milk and keep it down, and with whole milk its impossible (of course, I'll stip to it also being impossible in 10 to 30 minutes - just want to get the pledge task right). With skim, its barely possible (and cheating).
26 here again, pic is not b/w, and there's no quote, but hell, i wasn't about to invest more than 40 seconds searching google
:-)
Proskauer Boston: Semi-pro
I like how the partner was able to complete the negotiations and have two associates then do the actual eating. All, take notice, this is how it is done. Delegate down and use two associates to do the work of one partner.
you'll "stip"....? Get a life.
There are a lot of people with a surprising amount of information about drinking gallons of milk.
28: It's not only possible, it's common. Joey Chestnut of hot dog fame did it in 41 seconds. See http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QxoVPrXEebY for video evidence.
That would suck to be under that kind of pressure to accept an offer.
Note to summers - that is not a good way to make life decisions, unless, that is, you just derive joy from wacthing others make fools of themselves and in that case you are a sicko.
24/27: There is no such word as 'alot.' Do not volunteer to assist on any of my briefs.
Proskauer is the best firm, man, you don't even know. I'm so excited about this story I'm peeing my pants RIGHT NOW! Reading this post is AWESOME!
34: Joey Chestnut and Takeru Kobayashi are superhumans in this area.
Proskauer is the best firm, man, you don't even know. I'm so excited about this story I'm peeing my pants RIGHT NOW! Reading this post is AWESOME!
36: Get a life you goddamn loser.
OMG! OMG! Zany!
How is P.R. so busy that it must force its people to eat pounds of beef to attract good talent. Why not just surf the lateral market...I hear there are people looking and they'd like be willing to move in exchange for not filing bankruptcy.
Alert, alert! Alert, alert! People with embarrassingly empty lives are in the vicinity. Some of these people may be in the form of complete nerds, and others - while not outwardly nerdy - will exhibit various personality disorders such as obsessive-compulsive disorder. In any event, these individuals will likely be found obsessing over the relative merits of various law firms and otherwise making inane observations about other posters and their firms. If any of these individuals should approach you, yell "Look, there's a Skadden associate I went to school with who supposedly blew a partner to save his job." Then run.
Oh, wait. I forgot one thing. SUCK IT LAT!!!!
43- you are bizarre.
dare i say that the people who work in that office seem... almost... human. nice to see some fun and camaraderie in biglaw, even if it comes in a totally disgusting form.
As a vegetarian, I find this supremely offensive.
I cannot believe that in a profession based upon what should be our highest ideals, and in this day and age, a firm would so blatantly promote murder and in industry that lives upon the slaughter of innocents.
Proskauer is off my list. You people disgust me. I can almost hear the poor animals crying in the distance.
#46= subtle Stanford troll.
46, will you marry me? (I'm a straight male.)
46 - You should probably cross Fried Frank off your list as well, just in case.
Proskauer Rose associates wipe my ass all the time.
The Ass of Cravath
Meat it up, baby. Meat it up. There's fat drizzling down my face right now, and I've got a bucket underneath my chair for all the greazy droppings. I collect them and then slurp the coagulated, fatty goodness at the end of the day. With the energy I derive from that sloppy goodness, I then drive home, eat some twinkies and play on my Wii. This, my friends, is what life is all about. Haytas better recognize.
45-- I couldn't agree more. They seem like real people, not just lawyers. That's pretty awesome.
46- I would imagine that with all of that anger you are a very frisky and adventurous person...in just the right way, too. Want to meet for drinks later, or just skip that part?
Wow, propositions on an ATL message board. The frisky side of nerds!
MAKE WALTER MONDALE PARTNER AT THIS FIRM!!!
Matthew McConaughey would definitely approve. I never thought of Boston as the Land of Beef, but I'm happy to see it's trying to keep up with Texas.
54, I am not a nerd. A little shy and stuck in a small office full of marrieds. Since Kash never responded to my proposals, I am now targeting commenters. (BTW, are you a single female?)
- 48
I hear ya 48, 57; but, no, I'm also a single straight male. Are you in NYC? I thought all of the lawyers in NYC were single and living out of their offices.
49 = Best comment this week.
party hard culture at covington? kash, you must have had a sheltered life before coming to biglaw.
46 is a freak..... Go eat some tofu!
Proskauer is the bomb... work here and you'll know it! :)
Proskauer Boston is a joke....their summers this year were crap quality. I know one personally, she has below a 3.0 at a TTT, yet got the job because of family connections. It was the only firm she got an interview with.
The partner should have responded to the beef challenge by revoking their offers. That sort of insubordination shouldn't be tolerated. They can have fun trying to find another job in this market.
"former semi-pro linebacker" LOL. Always hilarious when lawyers boast about unimpressive and often unverifiable athletic credentials
- former Div III tennis player, currently working with an associate who played "JV basketball" at Michigan
HILARIOUS.
31 - you're right. Also, I'd really hate to be staffing a case once I got there. Unless they really like comedy, I fear being stuck on really bad assignments for a long time to come.
36 - (I didn't use "along". May I staff your cases?)
46 - Way to impart the behavior of a couple associates on the firm as a whole. I'm sure Proskauer doesn't want your knee-jerk reaction ass anyway. I know my firm wouldn't.
Go save a whale, hippy.
62 - welcome to life. that's how it works.
WTF, with the market being what it is, Id eat the four pound of meat and take one of those 4 holdout's position.
This is an awesome story.
Calm down 62. Proskauer is still a good firm. Anyone with the connections to land a job at a firm like that with awful grades was going to do better than you in life any way.
It's reading comments like these that remind me that most people who read this are from the east coast. A law firm holds a ho-hum event where nothing newsworthy happened, and everyone here is stunned at how “normal” it is. I suppose that’s what happens when you work with mostly tools. Even simple, normal human interaction at work surprises you. I’m from the east coast, but you could not pay me enough to work there as a lawyer.
Oh, and people at my high school used to hinge acceptance of their job offers on the ability of their future co-workers to eat four pounds of beef all the time, it was no big deal. (Grew up on the east coast, but went to high school in the mid-west.)
70...
and then became a putz sometime thereafter.
70 = The Embittered Flyover Country Troll.
And as a general counsel, this is one reason why I'm recommending we fire Proskauer.
Throwing up the milk is the best. It is like an ice cold water fall flowing from your mouth.
73- your comment is one of many reasons you are a tool. Are there actually people in this world who actually think a fun, after-hours recruting event where everyone shared a good laugh and no one was hurt is offensive to anything? I mean, really?
kash - good story, but why do you keep refering in the third person?
Hey I was at an event last week where someone dared somone else to do a shot, and they ended up doing two shots, and one of the shots had tequila in it, and then we did a third shot. Crazy I tell you. It was crazy.
Get a life. If one of the associates had puked and made a summer eat it, that would be an amusing story, this is just ho-hum.
The interesting thing is that in the picture the beef eaters are still using perfect manners and the other guy at the table is still wearing his jacket. When eating pounds of beef, use your hands, or just bend over and eat it right off the plate.
This is just gross...
I can't imagine making a career decision based upon whether a virtual stranger could down a whole side of cow.
Managing partner should have rescinded the offer to the summer associate(s) who posed the challege right then and there...what next...Proskauer's attorneys base critical litigation strategy upon whether clients can keep down ten dozen hard boiled eggs?!?
that is undoubtedly a picture of cadwaladersean hoovering beef.
I suspect that the senior associates will extract their revenge and then some when those brash summers show up for some real work. What is the legal work equivilant of downing four pounds of beef? Four weeks of document review in Topeka?
As an ex-Proskauer employee, I can vouch that some, not all attorneys and staff, are lost in space there. Can someone please tell them "to get off their high- horses ?" Not sure what planet they are on, but it is a very STRANGE place and it attracts very strange individuals.
79 -- for sure. i once saw cadwaladersean eat an entire steer.
reporter wants to talk to anyone who attended the proskauer beef-eating party! pls email lynnley@sbcglobal.net. tks!