Why You Shouldn't Steal Food From the Law Firm Fridge
Stealing Swiss Miss from your law firm's kitchen is not a good idea. If you're a summer associate, it's a recipe for getting no-offered.
And stealing food from the law firm refrigerator is also unwise. See here (and note the "FYI" postscript).
Does anyone care to guess -- or actually know -- the law firm where this sign was posted?
Reasons Not To Steal Food From the Company Fridge [Midtown Lunch]
(26) Comments
Because of these pretzels, i'm FIRSTY
I just ate some pretzels TWO
At my office in Bratislava, people are always stealing food. I think it may be part of the culture here. Any insights??
These pretzels are making me THIRDsty.
stupid
Give me a shot of sixdka.
Attorney's don't get worked up like that over lunches. Clearly a staff person wrote that.
don't fuck with my hummus
"cuff" of a recession? TTT firm.
So? Which firm? Big K?
If you know this woman, then we'll know which firm:
http://midtownlunch.com/blog/2007/05/01/profile-midtown-luncher-tam/
I'm guessing CWT by the location of her firm and the generally surly demeanor of the sign.
Mmmmmm. DNA seasoning.
That ain't no mayonnaise.
I would recommend a nice California Chardonnay with that.
Guys in my high school.....eh, it's too exhausting and obvious to even finish.
True Story: My old firm had a problem with a "food bandit" stealing from others. Office manager made cupcakes with laxative, placed a couple in the fridge. Later the next day the copy room boy had to go home because of indigestion. Needless to say he was fired and the food never was messed with again.
Good thing Michael Liberatore does not work there:
http://abovethelaw.com/2008/08/lawsuit_of_the_day_steak_au_pu.php
True Story: My old firm had a problem with a "food bandit" stealing from others. Office manager made cupcakes with rat poison. Three people died. The bandit was never found.
doodie
I wish I could find the email my firm sent out asking people to please not enter conference rooms while client meetings were in session to steal food or line up outside the room, waiting to swoop down on the lunch leftovers as soon as the meeting ended. Classy.
There's NO secrecy in saying it'd be seasoned with "DNA." Unless this person is so pissed about it that they'd put their own piss/blood/feces/jizz in their own food, it's gotta be spit.
Agreed 7- bet my bottom dollar it's some secretarial FUPA
The firm was Cleary
My old firm had a problem with a food bandit. One day the partners got together and held a secret meeting (we learned about it afterwards) and discussed the food thief. The next day, a video recorder was hidden on the wall opposite the fridge; a slice of cake was placed inside. Sure enough, at 12:15 prompt, the thief stole the cake and was caught on camera. It turned out to be this fat second year associate who no one liked.
The next day, a group of partners assembled just before dawn, applying war paint. When the food-stealing associate showed up for work, the partners rrushed into his office, tied him to his desk, and proceeded to shit on his face. He works at Stroock now.
My old firm had a problem with a food bandit. One day the partners got together and held a secret meeting (we learned about it afterwards) and discussed the food thief. The next day, a video recorder was hidden on the wall opposite the fridge; a slice of cake was placed inside. Sure enough, at 12:15 prompt, the thief stole the cake and was caught on camera. It turned out to be this fat second year associate who no one liked.
The next day, a group of partners assembled just before dawn, applying war paint. When the food-stealing associate showed up for work, the partners rushed into his office, tied him to his desk, and proceeded to shit on his face. He works at Stroock now.