second. this story sucks.

That blog features better writing than this one, but I can't say it's funny. I give its writer an "A" for effort.

I don't get the vegetable reference...or the southern peach title...or the picture. This story is retarded.

Moreover, I don't think that any Duke Law students have any chance at Wachtell, so I couldn't believe that part of the story.

Yes, that dreadful soul waits until a room/bus/lobby is as crowded and quiet as possible before sparking a conversation with a classmate who hates him but sat next to him in Contracts and therefore is obliged to listen to a rant about the 47 callbacks the cool/casual yet oh-so-successful aspiring attorney received...

5 here.

I stand corrected, but you would have to be magna cum laude level.

Your writing is terrible Elie. One has to read this post three times just to sort of get your point, which seems to be the rather pedestrian one that rotten people are annoying. Or is that your point? Please improve.

wow, you suck more every day

I've pooped out more interesting things than this story.

yikes

This is the worst post I have ever read.

Worst. Post. Ever.

Again.

Sullivan is scheduling callbacks at Duke--for what? Legal secretaries?

My copy-edited version:

"The Duke Law blog Ridiculum narrates the story of Tiffany Shah, a fictional Duke 2L who never learned not to celebrate when someone near to you recently died.

That's not to say that Tiffany Shahs don't exist. This excerpt could be about any 2L who needs life reassessment."

Any thoughts?

Seriously, what is that thing in the picture?

What? This post was barely coherent.

Bring back SEN! Her writing wasn't as bad, and she's much better looking.

The Major League reference was strong. Otherwise, pretty weak.

Hey, I'm just happy to have someone else comment on bad OCI etiquite/behavior. I went to a top-tier school where I was ashamed to see people un-ironically high-fiving each other while discussing their callbacks and offers. I've never spontaneously vomited more in my life.

Hey, I'm just happy to have someone else comment on bad OCI etiquite/behavior. I went to a top-tier school where I was ashamed to see people un-ironically high-fiving each other while discussing their callbacks and offers. I've never spontaneously vomited more in my life.

Elie:

Guys in my high school NEVER WROTE THIS TERRIBLY - that was no big deal! You are a horrible deal.

The way I posted today, I wouldn't be surprised if they red-tagged me already -- Elie Mystal.

Stupid

Your post demonstrates why affirmative action is a failed policy.

2, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, & 17: Well said.

jesus, atl is collapsing

19/20: Jealousy will get you NOWHERE in this profession. Learn to graciously and humbly live with the success of others.

Booooooooooo-ring.

Between Elie and those hacks from Kinney Recruiting, this site has totally jumped the shark.

Why does Elie suck so much? Lat, you fail, again.

Isn't Lat still the chief editor or whatever you want to call his title - shouldn't he oversee these post before they get put up or at least look over some throughout the day to see if Elie hasn't crashed the plane into the f-ing mountain...

What the heck was that?

I have no idea what I was supposed to get from this post, other than the feeling that maybe I'd had a stroke.

1) Material is not interesting.
2) I'm getting tired of these "pop culture" references that need to be defined by links every time. Citing a movie and linking to it's IMDB page is idiotic. If you need to define the reference, it's not universal enough to be funny when used.

Seriously, where did you learn the funny?

I don't even understand what this is.

29: don't blame me. I voted for Kang.

27 - It's not jealousy. I landed the firm I wanted and am quite happy. Sounds like you are a high-fiving chest-bumper who hasn't figured out yet that such behavior forever marks you as a moron. I pity you.

Guys in my HS used to stop reading ATTTL all the time. It was NBD.

Don't worry 22, they don't cut anybody the first day.

Kodos 2008!!!

What the heck was that?

I have no idea what I was supposed to get from this post, other than the feeling that maybe I'd had a stroke.

1) Material is not interesting.
2) I'm getting tired of these "pop culture" references that need to be defined by links every time. Citing a movie and linking to it's IMDB page is idiotic. If you need to define the reference, it's not universal enough to be funny when used.

Seriously, where did you learn the funny?

Huh?

S/he said, "high-fiving chest-bumper." Way to go, 34! These are the same people who wear white baseball hats and get really excited over dollar beer nights.

14: Not funny. Duke Law is still a prestigious school.

39 took the words out of my mouth. Count me confused.

Lat, seriously, please do something.

WTF?

What did I just read? Ellie, you need to fill that gi-normous head of yours with quality material

This is positively PAINFUL.

This blog sucks almost as much as the people that comment on it. I hope you prestige whores enjoy every last minute of mind numbing document review you are in for at your Sullivans, Wachtells, and Cravaths. You deserve the abuse that you are about to suffer. Smart people that want to make real money don't bother with big law or the stupid a-holes that run most of the big law shops.

-YLS grad.

47 = Vault 3 troll.

33- Nice, "Why are you holding hands?"

47 - your skull and bones underoos are showing.

47, no one gives a shit that you're a YLS grad. If anything, you appear more pathetic by boasting that you went there. If your face out of your own ass yet?

Amusing how all the Elie love went out the window as soon as his photo was posted--he's writing no better or worse than he was during ATL Idol. "Liberal" lawyers indeed.

49: If you can think of a more efficient way to exchange protein strings, I'd like to hear it.

This post is full of suck.

I have never complained about the writing in a post on ATL before, but I have agree with the other comments. This was terrible.

Eile graduated from Harvard? Really?

Can they take back his degree?

It's doubtful Harvard would want its name attached to someone posting this incoherent crap.

To make a noun plural, Elie, add an s, not an apostrophe-s. Criminy.

http://www.rob-clarkson.com/duff-brewery/kangandkodos/03.jpg

56: why is it so hard for you to grasp that Law School, much less HLS, teaches you how to write well under timed pressure?

47 rules!

I don't get it. Did Duke move to Georgia?

Not well written, but yeah, I get the point.

The flip-side was the 1L conversation I overheard immediately after an exam:

Guy to Girl: So, how do you think you did?
Girl: Okay, I guess.
Guy: Oh really? I guess you think you're a big shot, huh? Like YOU're so smart? Why don't you just keep your mouth shut.
Girl: Huh? Sorry? Guess you don't feel too well about how you did....?!?!?!?
Guy: Bitch.

Thank you, 57. I generally think Elie's writing is decent, but that is a really stupid mistake.

62: can you give us some idea of the school rank?

That guy deserves to be reprimanded, even informally, for those words.

63: have you read his writing? Are you kidding?!

This post isn't just full of suck. It is a big steaming bag of suck.

Here's an idea for the next time you decide to post. Try to have a point! Or at least tie the post in with the title.

I am really enjoying the Simpsons quotes.
Abortion for some, little American flags for others.

Elie is edging perilously close to David Dinkins level futility. To paraphrase the great New York Post: "Lat, DO SOMETHING!"

Hey, I'm just happy Mystal's post was tinged with some relevance to the law profession for once.

This new guy is a terrible writer....

huh? Peaches aren't even vegetables.

Someone near you recently "died"? WTF? That is not a term that describes the fact that some people did not receive call-backs, which appears to be how the author used it.

Wow. The comments on this blog are proof that people generally suck, especially when given the cover of anonymity. If y'all don't like the new writer, stop reading. Your dogpile abuse marks you as pathetic, obsessive, mean-spirited losers.

(of course, Lat, the cheesy selection process you employed may have encouraged this kind of middle-school bullying. Maybe not the way to go again if Elie gets fed up and walks.)

Is that an eggplant turned alien?

Elie

If you do law student stories you have to expect law student comments. It is a mistake to turn this site into another AutoAdmit. Law students spend other people's money, lawyers have their own. The losers posting above won't keep you in business. Check out the ads on AutoAdmit if you doubt that.

Were you high when you wrote this Elie? Wtf does the vegetables comment even mean?

73 - For me to POOP ON!

Some of you are this person. She's the reason why God made vegetables perishable.
-----------------------------------

Lat would never have written thus.

Keep trying.

What the hell was this post? This blog is getting really bad.

59,
Reading comprehension must not be your thing. Surely Harvard should have taught him to write a coherent answer in a timed setting. His inability to produce a logical blog post in a relatively time free setting is an embarrassment.

-56

While there are people whose behavior probably closely conforms to the description provided of the hypothetical student, I can't help but wonder how much of the description of the fact narrative is influenced by jealousy or an inferiority complex. All of the sudden, other people's victories become perceived as bragging, when much of the time such conversations are held only with the intention of actually taking a phone call and scheduling a callback.

In a paradoxical twist (similar to the "Harvard" syndrome, if there is such a thing), students who receive offers and callbacks from more selective or "Vault Prestigious" firms have to actually temper their excitement that they worked hard to earn. I guess celebration of achievement is taboo when you're in a place that might hurt the egos of persons used to being the smartest, and usually have external indicators (grades, law school) to tell them so. It's a shame that the first reaction many times, especially when they aren't doing as well as others around themselves, is to find negatives. I know people who seem to call everyone they know that has good grades a "gunner." I think the reality is, the gunner is them.

Elie - proofread your stuff before you post. Please. I've counted several really sloppy mistakes today. Just because you're publishing in this medium doesn't mean you shouldn't treat your work to the same level of polish and precision you would if it were published in print media.

Lat, please yell.

the vegetable thing makes no sense...

#81, well said. There certainly is such a thing as tact and class, and these are not displayed by someone flaunting an interview with a "prestigious firm." But in hindsight, I think it was ridiculous that I felt pressured to lie to people and tell them I had less callbacks than I actually did, or I was going out of town to see family, etc. for fear of being labeled as a jerk. And yes, I was a pansy and succumbed to those pressures.

I think it's similar to the push to eliminate grades and ranks in law schools. The simple fact is that some people are better at this gig than others--and there's a positive correlation (though certainly not a guarantee) between these people and the ones who do well in practicing law. What really sucks is that society really sells meritocracy in so many ways: the best athletes flaunt their talent (and yes, I'd trade my nerdiness for their physical ability in a heartbeat), the best artists and musicians have qualms about noting the quality of their own work. But for some reason, the people who are best at school can't be the least bit obviously competitive or outspoken about their accomplishments, even in the competitive dweeb circles known as law schools and law firms.

...and Elie, this post was pretty bad.

I can't belive i actually spent 10 minutes trying to figure out this idiotic collection of words and punctuation. This was horrible.

Where do I got to get that ten minutes back? Better yet, give me a fucking billing # so that this exercise turns from a horrendous waste of time to a horrendous waste of time that someone else is paying for.

I mean..WTF.

Full Disclosure: Although I was not full fledged Marin-Head, I found her to be more amusing. I thought Mystal showed promise, but it seems the voters made a massive Myst-TTTake.

Umm, from what I remember of the 2L interview/callback season, firms typically don't wait until you're alone and out of earshot to call you to schedule a callback. They call you whenever they want, wherever you happen to be at the time. Yes, I probably took a few calls from firms offering callbacks while at the law school, and my classmates probably could figure out who was calling and why. So what? Was I supposed to not take the call and just let them offer the callback to someone else, because Mystal (or someone like her) might throw a tantrum?

Bring back Billy Merck! We want our shitty posts that are copy-pasted directly from some other blog to be copy-pasted by some other guy who is just as annoying, but not quite as pretentious.

DID YOU MEAN: Therefore there are DLA summers who will receive offers from the firm but who have not yet been contacted.

BY WRITING: "Therefore there are DLA summers who will receive offers from the firm, but have not yet been contacted."

??

Get a copy of Strunk & White's or something.

88 -- Adjust the dosage on your meds. They're not working anymore.

i bet you $20 it was Spiegel.