i got da bootay juice!

The Dallas/Houston smackdown should be interesting.

Dallas to human feces!

Yeah, love the Dallas dig.

Elie, check the spelling of the attorney's name please.

Jeff Murphrey's back yard. Still not as big a shit show as GULC.

hilarious. this is one of the letters you write when you are really upset but are never supposed to actually send.

-"I am sorry you are from Dallas."

Also check the spelling of the firm name.

How did you even get this letter Elie?

Are all Texans this stupid?

Why is everyone hating on Elie!! Keep up the good work Elie

#10 GO FUCK YOURSELF COCKSUCKER

This post would have been better if MysTTTal had refrained from typing any words and just linked to the .pdf.

You suck, MysTTTal.

"Very truly yours"

Elie's mom = 11

"I am sorry" that this post is boring

mysTTTal has truly brought down the quality of this blog. i now only read his posts to comment negatively

I thought you weren't supposed to print people's names in this column . . . not cool.

#10, just a little angry? What happened, all your callbacks cancel? Grow some and act like a professional.

Christianity=TTT

14: indeed. Normally, a letter like this should be signed "love and kisses".

love and kisses? don't you mean hugs and kisses?

That's what you get when you hire TTTexas lawyers.

Spectacular.

I thought you weren't supposed to print people's names in this column . . . not cool.

Damn. Texas, take the hint. God Hates you.

I can't think of a larger sign that god hates you than a swath of human excrement and biological effluvia running through ones house, except of course maybe being GULCed by Judge Halverson during a food shortage.

All of Houston is pretty much a sewer. But still not as bad as Dallas.

Reminds me of my all-time favorite ATL post (thanks to the comments):

http://www.abovethelaw.com/2008/02/a_random_friday_poll_favorite.php

Really, 26? I would think having the Clintons choose your state as their new political playground would be proof that God has abandoned you.

25 = Captain Jeff "I'm the Hofstra of Texas" Murphrey

Gentlemen in my legal preparatory academy frequently experienced torrents of biological effluvia as the natural consquence of seasonal meteorological disturbances, such that they expressed a preference for antediluvian times, or at least a respite of the aforementioned affluvia. Despite these trevails, said gentlemen continued to express gratitude for their geographic location, which was not proximate to the seat of that governmental entity known as Dallas County, Texas. These occurrences, while most unsatisfactory from an olfactory perspective, were not adjudged by the general populace to be of material signficance.

No, I am inclined to agree with 26. From everything I have read and according to my own very precise calculations, Texas has indeed been abandoned by pretty all of the non-TTT Gods.

UVA2L

31, solid.

Major and minor deities alike turned their backs on my state all the time in high school, it was no big deal because it was Texas.

Suck it, Dallas.

Re: 26
I agree that there is proof that God hates Texas, but it's not Hurricane Ike; it's NY assholes like you that will no doubt be down here soon wondering if any law firms need structured finance lawyers and bitching about how you can't get a good slice of pizza in Texas. It's okay though. Maybe once you discover that your legal skills are absolutely obsolete in this new economy of ours, you and your guinea friends can move your unemployed asses down here and open up a NY pizza shop.

35, nice.

34: I hope you're referring to Dallas needing to suck it, not Houston, which is far superior to Dallas.

Don't mess with Texas, y'all!

35 -- I live in DC so suck it.

PS -- I am sorry even TTT gods and V-10 gods alike hate you. That must feel terrible.

31 apologizes for the grammatical errors committed by his ownself, including but not limited to the misspelling of "travails" as "trevails" and by stating "respite of" instead of "respite from. Legal Fraternity Lothario pledges henceforth to proofread his daily appearance prior to the posting of same.

Dallas sucks! Houston rules!

Signed,
Someone who's never left Houston

I work in Ohio. I have been to Houston half a dozen times on business. I have yet to find any redeeming grace in the city, whatsoever. The only possible exception may be that Ninfa's (The Original, anyway), cooks up some good food.

38--Oh, DC; where all the pretty people live. Just turned down offers from two V10 firms today to stay in Texas. I'm just going to have to settle for a V40. God I wish more NY/DC associates rated my firm higher in their vault survey. Of course, I guess I can take comfort in the fact that I will make more money that you once you account for the astronomical rent you pay to live in that cesspool or violent crime. Enjoy the winter up there though. I hear it's nice. Oh, and have fun at your next administrative hearing you fucking douche.

"What in tarnation!?" Its raining Mexicans!!

Effluvia, Texas.

While I'm looking forward to being in NYC for the marathon in a few weeks, I'll happily return to Houston. In addition to having a lot more of my paycheck after taxes, I also have a much better cost of living and the people here are just *overall* nicer.

I consider myself to be quite the Frat Stud/Fraternity Lothario connoisseur, and 31 is such a shining example that I am afraid it may never be matched. Bravo, my friend, bravo.

You know what I like best about Texas? All the pleasant attorneys who lurk on ATL in the hopes that someone will mention the word "Texas" so they can leap out of the woodwork and make scathing remarks about NY and/or DC, which we have all heard 7,000 times before, and yet somehow the Texans still think they are being terribly clever when they spout them. That's what I like best about Texas.

Awesome. Good post (but redact the names ferchrissake), brilliant memo, douchey Dallas lawyer.

Damn, Texas even makes UVA kids look cool.

Half a Halverson to rule them all.

46, I feel the same way about the NY and DC lawyers who dump on Texas at every opportunity. That's what I like best.

49 - nice attempt. Next time try making an original gripe up, instead of using the "I'm rubber, you're glue" retort.

-Chicago, in support of NY/DC

Damn, Texas went full retard, too?

No point in redacting the names, this thing has already been going around as an email.

Houston -- You are the problem.

Happy that I live in New York.

26,

First of all, the excrement was running through his yard, not his house. I know it is hard to remember, but think back to your childhood, when you could go outside, run around, maybe play on your jungle gym or play catch with your dad. You know, when you were happy. These things were most likely done in your yard. Not your house.

But if that is too long ago for you to remember or if you have repressed them too far down, perhaps a comparison will help. A backyard is to a Texas house what a street is to your 120 sq.ft. New York apartment. "Ah, now I get it!" you say, "But why is he so angry? I have human excrement and used condoms floating through my 'backyard' all the time. I like it cause it reminds me of the city and how much I love living here." To which Mr. Murphrey might say "That's right, you're not from Texas."

Second, God hates Texas? But I thought Yankees didn't believe in God? Or is this another one of those things where you Yankees are so spineless, rootless and unprincipled that you are willing to adopt whatever viewpoints you must in order to strike the proper tone of arrogance, aloofness and bitterness that is required of all New Yorkers, and which makes you so loved by your fellow countrymen?

Texas is the bestest.

Here in Austin, Texas we have Local Rule 214, which recognizes that most attorneys from the 214 area code are assholes.

Here in Austin, Texas we have Local Rule 214, which recognizes that most attorneys from the 214 area code are assholes.

Why is that you Texans assume that it is only NYers that hate you? You are pretty much despised by anyone with an IQ over 65.

55,

Although I was born in Oklahoma and hate Texas with a passion (Go Sooners)..... your reply was brilliant.

I would rather kill myself than be a litigator.

58,

For the same reason Yankees (which is more inclusive than just New Yorkers) assume everyone in Texas rides horses, owns an oil well and drives a pick-up truck: because it's easier to make fun of you that way. If you would like to tell me where you are from, I will gladly make fun of your state/city, too.

And saying everyone despises something tells you nothing about the underlying reasons for it. Given that everyone keeps moving here (seriously, please stop), I'd guess jealousy. "Anyone with an IQ over 65 is jealous of you"? Sounds about right to me.

So, storm damage causes the attorney to cancel the deposition, BUT he agrees to pay travel expenses. Seem fine, so far. IMHO, the fucktard aspect of this whole thing rests squarely on the shoulders of the cretin associate who tried to expand the agreement via letter.

41: Nifas is not all that great. Much better Mexican food can be found in Houston.

Is he sorry for Dallas that this attorney is from there, or sorry that he has to be from Dallas?

Great posts from 55, 56-57 & 58.

Why is Jeff Murphrey apologizing for a bunch of things he has no control over? As if anyone could possibly believe that the hurricane was his fault.

62, really? I thought it clear that the attorney was being a dick from the beginning asking to have his "travel expenses" paid when the depo had to be canceled for very understandable reasons. To have compounded the dickery by lying in his letter, and possibly in a court pleading, is beyond ridiculous. Most people in Texas do not practice that way. The few who do have a very bad reputation among judges and lawyers.

Jeff Murphrey is a good lawyer in a firm of good lawyers. They are excellent. He's got a way with words: here is a continuance motion he filed when he was getting married:

http://www.texasbar.com/Template.cfm?Section=Home&Template=/ContentManagement/ContentDisplay.cfm&ContentID=6132

("defense counsel, literally on bended knee, asks that the Court bless the upcoming union or, at the very least, allow the union to occur by granting this Agreed Motion for Continuance before the undersigned’s betrothed finds out about his little oversight and transforms into Bridezilla.")

Jeff is a fantastic attorney and this was a great letter. I bet the Dallas lawyer feels like a real asshole about now.

Really? No one has made a "HousTTTon" joke yet? How is that possible?

In spite of the offensive language in some of the posts, let me respond and assure you that, as a sitting judge, I have very effective ways of dealing with people who do not play nice. No need to fear, even if you are from somewhere other than Texas.

wow, look at the lawyers fighting
don't you guys get enough of this at work?

67 Jeff Murphrey is an opportunist idiot. It appears he cancelled after the opposing attorney had already traveled to the deposition. Which seem to have been quite a bit after Ike. I would want attorney fees AND expenses myself! . Seems he just wasn't quite prepared and Ike provided a "good" excuse to delay. I think he hit the nail on the head when he pontificated as to how "sorry" he is. Was the deposition to be held in Jeff's backyard??? Seem much of that shit was from Jeffs pie hole.

In the interest having of an intelligent comment on this board, here is Markland Hanley's rebuttal:

http://www.marklandhanley.com/hurricane.html

I know this hasn't been posted to in quite a while; however, I just "got wind" of this letter recently. I have know Jeff personally for many years. He does have a way with words and is extremely persuasive. None of us can speculate (unless we were part of the suit) what was happening prior to this point and how each party was behaving. However, taking the letter at face value, it was hysterical, very "Jeff" and probably successful. Just my 2 cents. Lighten up...everyone can take themselves a little too seriously.

- a New Englander born and bred in Houston, TX .