first to say first

Attempted murder? It would take a lot more to take her down... a frying pan would just slow her a little.

They still haven't found her first husband after she rolled over him in bed 5 years ago.

Maybe he accidentally hit her while shoveling bacon into her mouth

Too good to be true. Embattled Ed Halverson finally grows a pair and wields, of all things, a kitchen implement! Awesome.

Well done #5

BEST STORY EVER!!!

Lat you are still the king! We always thought the frying pan would be the death of her made me giggle like a school girl.

The recoil from the mounds of blubber must have dislocated the poor guy's shoulder!

I bet that household just had frying pans lying all over the place. In the bed, in the bathtub, on the mantle. . .

Live by the pan, die by the pan.

There is still a possibility that he was just trying to scratch an itch for her.

Wow. Elie, Lat is killing you.

lat - though i am one of those that long ago had enough of her, but this is really funny.

this guy just wanted to fry some eggs and needed a pan which she wouldn't give up, so he finally had enough....

This post deserves the flashing lights and sirens normally reserved for bonus announcements (though those are likely going to be few and far between - or at least greaty diminished in size - this cycle).

11 - hilarious!

"Domestic violence is a serious issue."

No, not really when the victim is an enormous fat woman who was beaten with a frying pan.

'Tis no disgraced judge; 'tis a remorseless eating machine.

-Capt. McAlister

5, 14:

Stole my bit, you are johnny on the spot with pan related humor.

And Lat, you must be kidding about the column invitation. Are there special keyboards that would allow here fat fingers to navigate the keys? How many energy drinks would she plow through to finish a 750 word column? I'd suggest voice-recognition software, but her Jabba-like groans would likely send her hardrive into a flaming tailspin from the program running wild with confusion.

I love this woman for all the joy she has brought in to our lives...

Damn, Halverson got GULCed!

What did they use as an ambulance to get her to the hospital? A military transport plane?

18 -

still laughing out loud! Well done, sir.

11 made me unexpectedly laugh, resulting in coffee coming out my nose. It burns.

I should know better than to drink anything while reading comments on a Halverson post.

Maybe he was just trying to take the pan away from her because she was trying to eat it.

Maybe he was just trying to take the pan away from her because she was trying to eat it.

Who is Judge Halverson really? I want to know about the real person deep down inside that massive quivering pile of woman flesh.

Ok- when she was a judge treating people like crap and flaunting her power, it was funny. Now, she's been canned as a judge, was not re-elected, is under investgation, will probably be thrown out of the bar, and is being beaten by her husband with a serious blunt object. Humpty dumpty has fallen down and isn't getting back up again. Can we stop shitting on her just because she's an extraordinarily bitter and mean fat woman?

I hate to be the party pooper, but this is just sad now.

26,

This goliath ate her.

27,

She hasn't been able to get up for years.

5 wins.

Might as well shut 'er down now.

I would love to be the lawyer who gets this case! Or the judge! I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face.

27, you are wrong. i will not direct personal attacks against you for trying to show some compassion, but you are dead wrong. This fat piece of white trash was pathetic and sad at the height of her power. Don't turn away and rationalize what is happening because you are watching the decline.

Looks like things aren't panning out for our embattled former princess of the Nevada bench.

She's so fat she has to bathe at Seaworld!

LMAO! I just remembered that joke from middleschool.

32- 27 here. Agree that she was pathetic and sad always, but making fun of her felt right because she was abusing judicial office. She's got what's coming to her; I just don't approve of the laughing. Seems like overkill now.

I love her motor scooter. Very James Bond.

As someone who was killed by a frying pan, I take offense to this article.

I also take offense to the next comment.

I bet when he hit her with the pan, gravy poured out of her wound.

... and into the fire.

In honor of 34's middle school joke, another from middleschool:

She's so fat she wakes up on BOTH sides of the bed.

29: well done, sir.

(Much like the bacon, late of the very implement of the Judge's demise.)

Thank you 41,

29.

21,

I believe this is how it was done:

http://www.militarypictures.info/d/103-3/CH-47_Chinook_in_Bagram.jpg

The funniest thing I've seen in a while. You gotta listen to the music!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8dibLgkE1xY&feature=related

I wish people would quit taking potshots at jokes panning Judge Halverson's predicament. If she can't take the heat, she should never have gone in the kitchen. There's no reason for all this pan-demonium.

Stick a fork in her, she's done.

44,
Hilarious but just wrong. I will be forwarding it though.

44 - I just threw up a little.

Is it true she was struck FORTY-SIX times???!!!

48, way to fail miserably.

44, the lyrics "gonna take forever tonight" . . . I'm laughing so hard I'm crying.

"They always said the frying pan would be the death of her."

I read that line in RSS and *knew* that it was too good to have been written by Elie.

"They always said the frying pan would be the death of her."

Good stuff Lat.

This is a typical attempt by the media to distort facts and turn a non-story into a story.

Halvorson's husband wasn't trying to attack her; she just had a piece of bacon hanging from her chin, and he didn't want it to go to waste, so he was trying to catch it in the frying pan.

Attempted murder? Really? So he tried to kill her and was unable? What, is she too mobile and got away from him? She does look pretty spry in her mobile scooter.

Damn, Halverson went full manatee! Everyone knows you never go full manatee unless you want to be beaten with a frying pan.

This is where this trailer trash drama was headed all along.

I realize that Ed Halverson had a certain appeal as a fiancé' (he was breathing and willing to consummate the marriage). In addition, I also realize that her dating options were limited.

But it was probably not a good idea to marry a thrice convicted ex-felon, on parole, with r drug, burglary and gun convictions--and then verbally abuse the guy both privately and in front of court staff.

My prediction: They will be all lovey and Halverson will beg the judge to dismiss all charges.

Halverson and Evil Ed will move to a proper trailer park.

Domestic violence calls with be placed every Saturday night.

Her fatness will then accept Lat's celebrity blogging position, and keep us all in stitches.

44 -- it's scary you even have knowledge of that video. but, it's very funny. nice tattoo.

44: Halverson when she was hot.

Nice booking photo of "Evil Ed", BTW.

It is gratifying to see a husband who cares enough about his appearance to wax his neck line.

Next thing we see: Gloria Allred surfacing to represent the "abused" Ed, Ed makeover, book deal ("Life with Jabba d' Judge--Tale of an Abused Sex Slave".)

11 wins, [chubby] hands down.

Bring me Solo and the Wookiee. They will all suffer for this outrage.

Maybe the character and fitness committees should focus more on fitness.

Halverson is so fat it takes a three judge panel to overturn her.

62: LMAO, winner!

It was the frying pan that got it the worst.

I just read a really funny California case about a really tought gal getting hit on the head with a frying pan:

http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/data2/californiastatecases/e018913.pdf

She brings new meaning to order in the court... Micky D's anyone?? NM

I can see Jonny Cochran with a package of bacon and the pan. If the slab of bacon don't fit, you must acquit.. NM

A thourough DNA check of the crime scene determined there were remnants of eggs and hash browns, but they were nowhere to be found. Police suspect that Halverson ate these items before authorities arrived and that the pan strike may not have been as intense as she originally claimed if this theory in fact did happen. NM

In a recent pedophile case against Willy Wonka, Mr. Wonka accidentally called her "Fudge Halverson."

I wanted to write something funny, but how am I gonna beat 11? (yeah, yeah, with a frying pan; i get it)

At first when I read this post and the "frying pan would be the death of her," I thought Elie had finally written something funny. Oh well . . .

On another note, I think Halverson may actually make an interesting poster. Maybe she could do a restaurant review column? She might even be funnier than Elie.

I appreciate the need of the trolletariat to make douchebags of themselves, but CNN picked up the story and it's pretty serious:

"Elizabeth Halverson apparently suffered severe injuries to her face, chest and upper arm. Halverson’s current condition is unknown at this time."

I suppose that explains the attempted murder. Or, in the alternative, she was attempting to eat the frying pan whole, while it was on the stove.

This all fits my revolutionary theory that the dinosaurs actually went extinct due to frying pans. At least the T-Rex...

Did she lose the election to Unopposed?

74 - it was actually unopposed v. unopposed chubby thumbs

On the plus side, if Halverson gets a column it'll finally be someone who gets more hate than Elie.

...unless Halverson starts sharing Hope Winters-esque stories..."my 'friend' hooked up with a guy and he totally fucked one of my i mean her numerous rolls of flab instead of my vag what a loser law geek!"

cast iron or teflon?

76 - with Halverson, everything is on the plus side.

This is my first time to this site. I watched her hearing and was wondering what the verdict was. I feel guilty LMAO at these comments...kinda! That woman's personality came through loud and clear and I felt sorry for anyone that had to work for her.

#77...you have a point! If it was cast iron and he hit her forty-some times she wouldn't be in the hospital...she'd be in a grave. Good call!

I hope he remembered to season her after he tenderized her.

Don't be so quick to judge Ed. I'm sure there is a reasonable explaination for all of this. For instance, self-defense; she was hungry and got aggressive. Doesn't sound too far fetched to me. How would you feel if that behemoth was rolling her fat ass towards you demanding a bucket of frriend chicken??? Immediate threat of death or serious bodily injury - remember - all Ed needs is a reasonable belief . . . I'm voting to acquit.

Domestic violence is not a serious issue. Bitches need to be kept in line.

Though she may be the butt of many jokes, this is kinda sad. I don't think it is funny that someone almost got killed and is dealing with severe injuries. Even if it is Judge Halverson, and even if she probably almost killed her husband 100 times by rolling over in bed... sorry I couldn't help myself.

83,

You are objectively wrong. This is funny.

83, this is 84 responding. Just because she probably attempted to eat her husband and while he was cooking bacon for her on the frying pan and he couldn't cook it fast enough so she was going to eat him instead, and so he had to defend himself with the frying pan does not make this funny! Oh damn, ok ok, so it is funny, but it is also pretty sad you have to admit, like not sad in the omg I am so sad I am going to cry way, but sad as in the pathetic pitiful sad way.

Justifiable Bitchicide!

I think he suffers from Battered Husband Syndrome. Gloria Allred should represent him pro bono.

Breaking News!

Lat scores an interview with Judge Halverson and her sister...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EMxUi3XD7JQ&feature=related

Quite the hard-hitting interview.

bring me two of every animal

that's a huge bitch!

I have been reading these comments since yesterday. My sister was fat and had surgery and became skinny; down to a size 5. She became a victim of domestic violence and was murdered. So, are we saying that if she wasstill fat it would have been a joke, but because she was skinny her death was respected? Regardless if we feel the judge had a bad attitude, bad mouth and even bad social behavior as a society do we have the right to humiliate and physically hurt people? Just because they arent like what we think they should be? Domestic Violence does not discriminate and victims never cause it.