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Non-Sequiturs: 09.04.08

abramoff kilpatrick and bears.jpg* Bad news for Jack Abramoff: he got four years. Good news for Jack Abramoff: they’ll stipulate that “Tiny” can only bend him over and [redacted] then begin [censored] right before he [dear god no] and tosses his salad. So he’s got that going for him. [WSJ Law Blog]

* A Texas judge invalidated the patent of NuBra, suggesting that a strapless bra that enhances cleavage yet can be worn under sheer clothing is not one of the top ten greatest inventions of this decade. [Fox Business via ABA Journal]

* Is Sarah Palin in favor of jury nullification? [Volokh Conspiracy]

* How come we never hear anything about building a wall across our Canadian border? [Overlawyered; Inside Toronto]

* Is the plaintiff in this case Svetlana Kirilenko from the Sopranos? [Supreme Dicta]

* A lawyer’s guide to reading to your kids, in case you’re up for partner. [National Law Journal (subscription)]

* Detroit, your long sexual nightmare is at an end. Finally the denizens of the city can go back to wishing they were somewhere else in peace and tranquility. [Detroit Free Press]

Comments

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1 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 4, 2008 6:12 PM

Are rape jokes really funny?

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2 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 4, 2008 6:12 PM

"..., in case your [sic] up for partner."

Jesus christ. This is a blog for LAWYERS. Get your fucking homonyms right.

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3 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 4, 2008 6:16 PM

no, rape jokes are not funny.

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4 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 4, 2008 6:20 PM

When last year did Cravath come out with its bonus news? are we getting around to the time of year when firms start announcing?

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5 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 4, 2008 6:36 PM

Elie, you bigot, Abramoff is an Orthodox Jew. That's why he wears his "hat".

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6 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 4, 2008 6:38 PM

No - rape jokes are disgusting and inhumane. Rape in prison is a very serious epidemic and should not be made fun of by the likes of this fat douche

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7 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 4, 2008 6:45 PM

Stop linking to pay sites. I'm a poor associate.

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8 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 4, 2008 6:46 PM

Could you not have redacted tossing the salad?

Jerk.

9 Posted by Elie Mystal | Permalink Thursday, September 4, 2008 6:49 PM

5. You are totally right. My bad. I thought I was doing what 1,3, and 6 are concerned about. I should have remembered.

Thanks for looking out, I'll edit that out straight away.

Sorry 'bout that.

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10 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 4, 2008 7:06 PM

Elie - even as edited, it's still in really poor taste.

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11 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 4, 2008 7:13 PM

Just one more commenter who thinks that rape jokes aren't funny. Grow the fuck up.

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12 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 4, 2008 7:47 PM

I didn't read it as a rape joke but as a "meta-rape joke."

Yours truly,

Former English major who went to law school because what else was he going to do with an English degree

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13 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 4, 2008 8:11 PM

Chris Rock has an entire routine about the Tossed Salad Man in prison. Everyone loved it. Lighten up people.

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14 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 4, 2008 8:29 PM

... And seriously, enough with the Detroit jokes already.

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15 Posted by guest | Permalink Thursday, September 4, 2008 8:50 PM

Bitch toss my salad like corn on the cob.
I need a rimjob; wipe your chin, don't be a slob.
Hos know tossin' my salad is a must.
My salad be more tossed than the dough of a pizza crust.

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16 Posted by guest | Permalink Friday, September 5, 2008 2:21 AM

Why does Abramoff dress like he's in a '20s gangster movie?

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17 Posted by guest | Permalink Friday, September 5, 2008 7:42 AM

Evidently because he's a jew

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18 Posted by guest | Permalink Friday, September 5, 2008 7:45 AM

FOLEY CHICAGO NO-OFFERED THE VAST MAJORITY OF ITS NON-IP 2LS. are they fucking paying you to keep it off ATL?

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19 Posted by guest | Permalink Friday, September 5, 2008 9:39 AM

Not funny. Mystal needs to go. This blog cannot survive with him at the helm.

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20 Posted by guest | Permalink Friday, September 5, 2008 11:16 AM

Dear Elie:

Kiss my ass.

/s/ Detroit Lawyer

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21 Posted by guest | Permalink Friday, September 5, 2008 2:17 PM

ahahahaha oh I get it Abramoff might get raped in prison hahahaha that's a good one, prison rape, lol. Now let me go donate money to Jane Doe, Inc. because apparently rape is only comedy gold when it happens to men in prison.

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