We know a lot of our readers come here via a desperate attempt to put off billing hours. We encourage so-called “procrastination” on the “All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” theory.

But we must ever be vigilant against those who would intrude on our precious zoning-out time with false promises of increased productivity and happier living. Stanford philosophy professor John Perry is one such individual. He has a website devoted to making the most of your procrastination time. The Wall Street Journal reports Perry’s core message:

[S]tructured procrastination involves doing small, low-priority tasks to build a sense of accomplishment and the energy to tackle more important jobs. Mr. Perry, a chronic procrastinator, suggests followers choose an important task, but defer work on it while tackling others. “Don’t be ashamed of self-manipulation,” he says.

If Perry really is “a chronic procrastinator” then how the hell did he motivate to publish his own website? Sounds like Perry needs to do a little more work, and a little less butting into other people’s free time.

Unfortunately, Perry is not alone. After the jump.

But apparently there is a whole field of anti-procrastinators out there:

Piers Steel, an associate professor at the University of Calgary and author of the forthcoming book “The Procrastination Equation,” estimates that procrastination costs the U.S. economy hundreds of billions of dollars annually. Mr. Steel says the computer games Minesweeper and Solitaire alone probably account for billions in lost time and productivity.

This is classic, jackboot rhetoric. Every second you are at work but not working you are costing the employer money. By that logic every time you are at home and you can’t “self-manipulate” because you are terrified about tomorrow’s closing, the firm owes you money.

Wasting time at work is the God given right of the employee. Some procrastination is built into our economic system (see e.g. the next few days while we wait for a revised bailout plan).

Don’t feel bad about procrastinating. Just sit back, relax, and let the Soma slowly wash over your consciousness.

How to Put Off Work — Constructively [WSJ]