Rank Stupidity, Ridiculousness

Somebody’s Hiring

One of the best things about getting a law degree is that you can really help people. People in need who are being railroaded by the system. People in power who are creating jobs for the economy. And occasionally, people suffering from perma-drunk on craigslist.

WANTED FRESH BARRED VA ATTORNEY

just graduated college and I was charged with a bull **** drunk in public and vandalism charge in the City of Fairfax.

What I need is an attorney to come with me on my court date Aug 27 to try to talk to the prosecutor and have him drop the charge or lessen it, since this is the first time I have ever been charged with anything and I have paid back the person and there was no way to prove I was legally drunk since I was not tested.

I am looking for fresh attorneys or recently barred attorneys.

I’d make a joke but I am so terrified of getting “barred.”

Ad reprinted in full after the jump

WANTED FRESH BARRED VA ATTORNEY

I just graduated college and I was charged with a bull *** drunk in public and vandalism charge in the City of Fairfax.

I left the bar in downtown Fairfax City and I was horseplaying with my friend and came to push him and he moved out of the way and I pushed someone’s car mirror and broke their mirror.

Someone called the cops and the cops came. I was very cooperative and the last drink I had had was 3-4 hours prior to the arrest. I was NOT given any breathalyzer test, field sobriety test or blood test. The cop thought I was drunk just because my eyes were “glossy”.

I have contacted the owner of the car and have paid the person in FULL for the damage I caused and have admitted to the damage.

This is my first charge of any kind ever.

What I need is an attorney to come with me on my court date Aug 27 to try to talk to the prosecutor and have him drop the charge or lessen it, since this is the first time I have ever been charged with anything and I have paid back the person and there was no way to prove I was legally drunk since I was not tested.

So if you are a brand new attorney, I will pay you to talk to the prosecutor on the court date to have him drop the charges. Because I can not talk to the prosecutor because I am not an attorney.

In your email, include your number so I can call you.

I am looking for fresh attorneys or recently barred attorneys.

* Compensation: we’ll discuss it

* Principals only. Recruiters, please don’t contact this job poster.

* Please, no phone calls about this job!

* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.

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