Somebody's Hiring
One of the best things about getting a law degree is that you can really help people. People in need who are being railroaded by the system. People in power who are creating jobs for the economy. And occasionally, people suffering from perma-drunk on craigslist.
WANTED FRESH BARRED VA ATTORNEY just graduated college and I was charged with a bull **** drunk in public and vandalism charge in the City of Fairfax. ... What I need is an attorney to come with me on my court date Aug 27 to try to talk to the prosecutor and have him drop the charge or lessen it, since this is the first time I have ever been charged with anything and I have paid back the person and there was no way to prove I was legally drunk since I was not tested. ... I am looking for fresh attorneys or recently barred attorneys.
I'd make a joke but I am so terrified of getting "barred."
Ad reprinted in full after the jump
WANTED FRESH BARRED VA ATTORNEYI just graduated college and I was charged with a bull *** drunk in public and vandalism charge in the City of Fairfax.
I left the bar in downtown Fairfax City and I was horseplaying with my friend and came to push him and he moved out of the way and I pushed someone's car mirror and broke their mirror.
Someone called the cops and the cops came. I was very cooperative and the last drink I had had was 3-4 hours prior to the arrest. I was NOT given any breathalyzer test, field sobriety test or blood test. The cop thought I was drunk just because my eyes were "glossy".
I have contacted the owner of the car and have paid the person in FULL for the damage I caused and have admitted to the damage.
This is my first charge of any kind ever.
What I need is an attorney to come with me on my court date Aug 27 to try to talk to the prosecutor and have him drop the charge or lessen it, since this is the first time I have ever been charged with anything and I have paid back the person and there was no way to prove I was legally drunk since I was not tested.
So if you are a brand new attorney, I will pay you to talk to the prosecutor on the court date to have him drop the charges. Because I can not talk to the prosecutor because I am not an attorney.
In your email, include your number so I can call you.
I am looking for fresh attorneys or recently barred attorneys.
* Compensation: we'll discuss it
* Principals only. Recruiters, please don't contact this job poster.
* Please, no phone calls about this job!
* Please do not contact job poster about other services, products or commercial interests.
(27) Comments
FIRST
damn, if only i were a freshly barred, brand spankin new attorney in va.
These pretzels are making me thirdsty!
These pretzels are making me wish I had a beer.
and fourthly your honor, I was not drunk, I was with the mayor and rasheeda snortin' zee cocaine
Drunk craigslist dude > Foley & Lardner
"We'll discuss it" implies a handsome fee the likes of which are not to be discussed on craigslist. Or perhaps he's looking for a pro bono rainmaker!
maybe that dude culvahouse will help him out or at least take him out for more drinks....
i heard vinny gambini is still available ...
I hear Judge Halverson likes freshly minted attorneys.
I hear Judge Halverson likes freshly minted attorneys.
she said with a "dead pan" smile
When I was in high school, lots of guys i knew used to be cheapskate drunks who had no interest in hiring experienced attorneys. It was no big deal.
13 - When you were in high school, you didnt know any guys (or girls for that matter).
12 takes the cake.....good work
Judge Halverson likes mints.
Spectacular! How freshly barred do you need to be? I could go to one right now...
Elie, congrats on a decent post.
I'd call Hope Winters...she can relate to disasters.
I practice in Fairfax. He could get a lawyer for this around $750 if shopped around. BTW, the law says "appears intoxicated in public" NOT was "drunk in public" no testing is required. The regular fine is $50 plus court costs of about another $75. This guy may be able to beat the vandalism charge by paying the guy back, but he's probably screwed on the DIP. Why not just say FLAMING AS***** IS TO CHEAP TO PAY AN ATTORNEY!
20 - thank you for taking the time to research this. Seems like you are also being affected by the downturn in the economy; need some billable hours??
21--ever occur to you that 20 didn't need to "research" this, since he or she probably practices in local court every day?
22; given the "quote" provided by 20 in his "analysis," I bet he checked the statute.
Why doesn't the statute mean:
"Come into sight or view."
rather than:
"Give a certain impression or have a certain outward aspect."
You know, like a court appearance?
20 - perfect example of why you carry malpractice insurance. "Appearing intoxicated in public" as a matter of criminal law is unconstitutional if it does not actually required that the person is intoxicated. "Appearing intoxicated in public" = does not put people on reasonable notice as to what the criminal conduct is, and could be construed as merely being in public. It is also void due to vagueness - what does "appearing intoxicated" mean? But if it required actual drunkeness, there isn't a problem. Your armchair legal interpretation is worth what it cost, $0.
Your post is extremely ungrammatical 25. Do you carry malpractice insurance for that?
I don't know what 20 is talking about. Below is the relevant section from the Virginia Code. It can also be found in the Fairfax municipal code at Section 5-1-1.
(Subject to typical disclaimer: While I am a lawyer, I am not your lawyer; your mileage may vary.)
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§ 18.2-388. Profane swearing and intoxication in public; penalty; transportation of public inebriates to detoxification center.
If any person profanely curses or swears or is intoxicated in public, whether such intoxication results from alcohol, narcotic drug or other intoxicant or drug of whatever nature, he shall be deemed guilty of a Class 4 misdemeanor. In any area in which there is located a court-approved detoxification center a law-enforcement officer may authorize the transportation, by police or otherwise, of public inebriates to such detoxification center in lieu of arrest; however, no person shall be involuntarily detained in such center.
(Code 1950, § 18.1-237; 1960, c. 358; 1964, c. 434; 1975, cc. 14, 15; 1979, c. 654; 1982, c. 666; 1983, c. 187; 1990, c. 965.)