A Little Bit Of Knowledge Is A Hilarious Thing
The market may have already discounted the $700 billion ($840 B) bailout bill, but the legal profession hasn't even begun to get its hands around this thing.
But while we wait for serious actions to arise from the market implosion, at least we have this crazy dude from "reenactment of 1776" to help us pass the time. This guy is one of the many -- mentally unbalanced -- souls who makes the internet so much fun. But he has taken a break from his usual calls for a violent proletariat revolution to attack the bailout bill through more "constructive" means. He proposes a class action lawsuit against ... well, I'm not sure who exactly. But the point is that he is against it! And he believes that the 13th Amendment provides all the legal cover he requires:
If this bailout is passed, I Larry Bumgarner, from reenactmentof1776.com will try to file papers in Federal Court to get an injunction against this bailout, to stop it, so that we can protect the lower and middleclass from thirteenth amendment violations. This I would like to turn into a class action suit with members of the lower and middleclass. If you would be interested in joining a class action lawsuit please respond to this site with your e-mail address.
I don't like,
I don't like,
I don't like Mondays.
It gets so much better after the jump.
I find it funny that while this guy is asking for legal advice/help, he clearly doesn't respect lawyers. In fact, I'm not entirely sure if lawyers would be allowed to exist in his new America:
With This Revolution We Will Form a more representative government for us, the American people. Stop the war. Restore fiscal sanity and responsibility to the government and the people. Reduce the price of gasoline immediately which will reduce the price of goods purchased such as food and clothing. Simultaneously and concurrently there will be a decree put out with the same fervor that went with creating the Atom Bomb. That is to create an automobile that runs on electricity. Enact tough laws that will instill new ethical standards for lawyers, politicians and government to rid us of as much corruption as possible. No longer will politicians and lawyers police themselves. We the people will judge them.Cap legal fees as the same as an auto mechanic. Lawyers do not know anything about economics, finance or social issues. Lawyers will no longer be permitted to hold an office in the legislative branch of our governments.
Okay. Maybe we don't know anything about "economic, finance or social issues." Maybe we don't know anything about freedom or justice or equality. But the 13th Amendment? That is in our wheelhouse. Here's Mr. Bumgarner's interpretation:
THIRTEENTH AMENDMENTSLAVERY AND INVOLUNTARY SERVITUDE
Section 1. Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.
Section 2. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.
What Is Involuntary Servitude? - a condition of compulsory service or labor performed by one person, against his will, for the benefit of another person due to force, threats, intimidation or other similar means of coercion and compulsion directed against him.
What is Peonage. (comes from peon) Summary: Section 1581 of Title 18 makes it unlawful to hold a person in "debt servitude," or peonage, which is closely related to involuntary servitude. Section 1581 prohibits using force, the threat of force, or the threat of legal coercion to compel a person to work against his/her will. In addition, the victim's involuntary servitude must be tied to the payment of a debt.
Your elected officials will finance the bailout package with treasury bills, notes and bonds. These bonds are backed by the good faith of the United States. That means that you are responsible to pay for these bonds as last resort to default. Your elected officials are putting everyone in the lower and middleclass into "debt servitude."
I thought a few years at Sidley Austin counted as "debt servitude," but what do I know?
Is there any precedent for such a crazy argument? Well, of course not. Not unless someone wants to make a Jones v. Alfred H. Mayer Co. argument, and call the bailout a "badge or incident" of slavery.
(52) Comments
yes!
snypah
That guy needs to learn how to spell pwnage.
"some much fun"? Edit your fucking posts.
all lawyers should welcome the bailout, think of the regulation. this should help my job search for 1L sa positions in DC.
-nervous T-10 1L
"souls who makes the internet some much fun. "
Seriously?
No!
Elie,
This is great and all, but do you care to explain why you said, over the weekend, that if a prosecution's witness is racist, the defendant, a twice-guilty murderer, should walk free? Please explain this.
Many souls who makes?
Some much fun?
It gets "some much" worse after the break.
Elie, please proofread. Also, you suck.
Lat, how can you sit back and watch Elie et al. destroy everything you created? Crazy.
eat it wage slaves.
Hi me look for some much fun on internet. Google send me here. Where fun?
The comments on this site used to be funny, but now they are just annoying. Complaining about Elie is f-ing old, so get over it. You are the ones destroying this site.
Elie's posts are actually quite good nowadays. In unrelated news, check the markets; WE ARE ALL SCREWED.
8: What you have to understand is that black people are all identical, so if you unfairly punish one, you can unfairly reward another. Black people are like the Borg Collective, and don't have their own individual rights, liberties or responsibilities, but only have moral value as a group. This can be a difficult concept to grasp if you come from a culture where you expect to be punished or rewarded based on your own individual actions.
http://dealbook.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/10/05/the-mad-dash-to-a-legal-victory/
http://dealbook.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/10/05/the-mad-dash-to-a-legal-victory/
http://dealbook.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/10/05/the-mad-dash-to-a-legal-victory/
http://dealbook.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/10/05/the-mad-dash-to-a-legal-victory/
http://dealbook.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/10/05/the-mad-dash-to-a-legal-victory/
16/17/18/19/20 - Dumb Ass
I guess the good news is that at least this Elie guy isn't getting paid for legal services.
It appears that our racist, race baiting editor has lost a few pounds and been outed...
http://www.newsday.com/news/local/suffolk/ny-limyst0916,0,1055583.story
I'm sure that he'll be hearing a lot of "Suck it, MysTTTal" after he's sentenced.
I have an air-tight defense in for Elie Mystal: Stealing $90,000 is okay because he's black and just making up for harms to other blacks (who won't be seeing a dime of the stolen money).
I have an airtight defense for 8/15/24:
You're not breathing oxygen. Your brain is almost dead. Clear fluid is dribbling from your ears. A rush of white light...
Are you people insane or just stupid? How is it possible that this like 60 year old dude is the Elie Mystal who edits this site. This is clearly a different Elie Mystal. Is this like the stupid U-Penn-State thing?
26-Have you ever met the Elie MysTTTal who edits this site? All we've seen is a self-supplied picture. Perhaps it was an old picture or a fake picture. How many black Elie MysTTTals do you think there are on the eastern seaboard of the US?
I would guess one.
electric cars have been around for years. they are not economical and will continue to be sidelined by gas cars if - as the author proposes - we keep fuel prices down. unless in his brave new world basic economic principles don't apply...
27- Really??? You think the Elie Mystal who edits this site is a 60ish suffolk legislator who lives in Florida? Also, if it's a fake picture, how do you know he's black?
27.. do you think most "Elie Mystals" are white? Just curious where you are going with this "he has the same name" argument...
27: I'd venture to guess it's ATL Elie's father before guessing that they're the same person.
29-31
What I'm saying is that we should investigate the background of our editor, who apparently is being investigated for criminal activity.
ATL's EIC is not apparently being investigated for criminal activity. Discuss.
32 (1:16) - "[O]ur editor?" Are you employed by ATL? I read the NY Times too, but wouldn't consider its editorial staff to be my editors.
Why would an editor of ATL attempt to defraud the whole site? How much monetary gain could come of that?
I agree with 31. It is much more likely that this Elie is the son of the man being charged for fraud and larceny than that this is the same Elie being charged for the same trying to pull a fast one on ATL.
Don't you all think it's a bit curious that Elie mounts a defense of a criminal by claiming racism in America justifies the guilty being given a free pass and then it's disclosed that Elie Mystal is being tried for criminal activity?
Too much of a coincidence for me. And why isn't Elie Mystal denying that he is Elie Mystal?
I think it's because he's not paying any attention to dipshits like yourselves that are trying to make some bogus connection because they have an axe to grind.
But that's just my first guess.
I love it! This guy is a LOONEY! He's the internet equivilant of the nutcase at the corner downtown spouting off about how evil money is.
Wow 2 people have the same name and people assume they are the same person. That's extraordinarily dumb.
Why is there no story focusing on the massive 388-year crime spree committed by John Smith of Plymouth Colony?
The longer Elie Mystal refuses to answer questions about Elie Mystal, the more we have to assume that they are one and the same person.
Or the more you look like a big retard pushing a non-issue in comments? Why do you even assume Elie has noticed these silly accusations?
32 (1:16) - "[O]ur editor?" Are you employed by ATL? I read the NY Times too, but wouldn't consider its editorial staff to be my editors.
42, why are you so interested in shouting down legitimate questions about the background of ATL's editor?
Do a google search for Elie Mystal and tell us how any hits show up indicating that there are so many other Elie Mystals out there.
We want answers, notwithstanding the Elie Mystal Amen Corner's attempts to cover up this issue.
Hey, 44
http://preview.ussearch.com/preview/ala/newsearch?&searchLName=Mystal&searchFName=Elie&adID=619100D754&adsource=9&TID=0&cid=people&searchtab=people
Take the tinfoil hat off
Hey 45, notice how many Elie Y Mystals there are. Likely duplicate postings. It looks like there are only two Elie Mystals in the country, one in his 30s, the other in his 60s. And both have Amityville NY as an address.
Your post has made this more, not less, of a Mystery.
Elie, speak up.
HOLY SHIT... THE TRU7H IS THAT THE ATL EIC IS ABOUT TO GO TO JAIL
HURRY UP WITH THE ELABORATE COMMENT-TROLLING COVERUP PLAN
THESE GUYS ARE NOT REPEAT NOT MINDLESS DBAGS... THEY ARE ON TO SOMETHING SERIOUS BIZNESS
Elie Mystal from Amityville NY...why are you not explaining who Elie Mystal is?
Elie,
Please, please, for the love of god, do all of us a favor and read the first three chapters of Bryan Garner's "The Redbook." Or read the AP Stylebook. Or read the Chicago Manual of Style.
Please!
38: That would be the Pope.
I like the word "wheelhouse."
"little bit of knowledge is a hilarious thing"?? Can you guys at least get the poem right?
"A little learning [not knowledge] is a dangerous thing.
Drink deep or taste not the Pierian Spring."