Future Lawsuit of the Day: The Crocodile Supplicant
Have you ever pulled the wings off of a fly?
Well, there’s a seven-year-old in Australia that can probably kick your ass.
The li’ mate hopped a fence at an Australian zoo and spent 30 minutes feeding “Terry,” an 11-foot, 440-pound saltwater crocodile, a diet of zoo lizards.
By the time he was done, 13 animals worth around $5,500 had been killed, including a turtle, bearded dragons and thorny devil lizards, [zoo director Rex] Neindorf said. Although none were considered rare, some are difficult to replace, he said.
It’s the circle of life. It’s the wheel of fortune.
The zoo director expressed horror at the child’s action:
“In [security camera] footage, the boy’s face remains largely blank,” Neindorf said, adding: “It was like he was playing a game.”
He’s seven. He was playing a game. The oldest game: evolution. Notice the kid didn’t throw himself into the crocodile pit. Rest assured, if he’s ever in a James Bond style trap, this kid will make it out and eventually bang Jane Seymour.
Nonetheless, Neindorf insisted that he would sue the kid’s parents:
“I just want people to learn that they can’t let their children go and run amok,” Neindorf said. “If we can’t put the blame onto the child, then someone has to accept the responsibility.”
Here at ATL’s mega-office, opinion is split. Our esteemed publisher said: “That kid’s got problems. Real problems. I would not want him playing with my kid.”
But some of us are all about alpha predators. How often has Terry been locked behind bars while some little gecko has taunted him about car insurance.
This kid isn’t a killer, he has restored a little bit of the natural order and his parents don’t deserve to be sued.
Though, the parents they might want to hold off on having a second child. Fratricide, “boy, man, I don’t know.”
Boy, 7, breaks into zoo, feeds animals to croc [MSNBC]
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funny, but again, who gives a flip
First, bitches!
fart
4th is never fun:-(
What about a look at a more interesting lawsuit -- Citi v. Wachovia/Wells Fargo. Potential to be Pennzoil v. Texaco caliber material...
plz feed Elie to a croc
7TH HEAVEN!!!
7TH HEAVEN!!!
7TH HEAVEN!!!
7TH HEAVEN!!!
7TH HEAVEN!!!
7TH HEAVEN!!!
7TH HEAVEN!!!
7TH HEAVEN!!!
7TH HEAVEN!!!
7TH HEAVEN!!!
7TH HEAVEN!!!
7TH HEAVEN!!!
7TH HEAVEN!!!
7TH HEAVEN!!!
7TH HEAVEN!!!
7TH HEAVEN!!!
7TH HEAVEN!!!
7TH HEAVEN!!!
7TH HEAVEN!!!
7TH HEAVEN!!!
supplicant? was the kid begging of the crocodile?
last
9 - in life
Elie, I like how you left out the part where the kid bashed the lizards to death with rocks before feeding the bodies to the croc.
You stupid fuck.
Oh, sure, he wasn't doing anything wrong. Nor were the serial killers who got their start as kids by killing and otherwise harming animals
"This kid isn't a killer."
WTF? Elie, you're a total embarrassment to the institutions from which you "graduated," and to the general educated population as a whole.
Someone needs to go back to second grade and learn the definitions of words.
The croc was reported as saying, "Uuugh. I shouldn't of had that last lizard".
Hey, anyone else remember how Biden is against gay marraige? Oh man, that shit still cracks me up. Too bad for him the only anti-gay-marriage opinions are religious at best and bigoted at worst. LOL!
gentlemen at my preparatory academy often discarded the carcasses of exotic animals which they had previously dismembered with extreme cruelty, allowing the same to be consumed by crocodiles endemic to bodies of water adjacent to our halls. this was not deemed a noteworthy event.
ATL continues its plunge. Elie, get a clue.
The only way to save ATL is with a 700 billion hit bailout. The increased traffic will give ATL the funds it needs to hire a real staff which will provide for long term stability.
"I just want people to learn that they can't let their children break into the zoo and feed all of the little animals to the crocodile.”
PS: TO 17: The law firm coverage this week has been first rate. You need to get a clue.
"The idea he doesn't realize that Article I of the Constitution defines the role of the vice president of the United States, that's the Executive Branch. He works in the Executive Branch. He should understand that. Everyone should understand that."
What? WHAT? This is the most confusing fucking post of all time. I've been to asian massage parlors, had a finger up my ass, had the woman tell me no happy endings, and I've been less confused than this. What do fly wings have to do with this? Where'd the kid get the lizards? Why do we care? Fucking Aussies, sure, but this isn't a forum for racist (nationist? whatever) comments, it's for talking about the law. What, is there a tort here? conversion of a lizard? Fuck that. Fuck the asian. I don't care. Fuck something. Just quit fucking around with us. Get a grip. Get real post.
Wait - are you making light of this?
Theres a pretty strong correlation between violence against animals in one's childhood with violence against humans in that same person's adulthood.
This is some seriously distubing stuff.
The boy's small size is probably the reason he didn't trip the zoo's security system, which relies on sensors to detect intruders, Neindorf said.
Elie has a small size too, but I've tripped his security system a few times, if you know what I mean.
I am Jack's complete lack of interest.
The post of this story on BBC.com has a bit more tort law coverage. The BBC story is even more disturbing, including a picture of the boy throwing an animal. It also mentions the camera catching the boy smiling at times while he was on his killing spree. Only 7 years old and murders 13 animals in 30 minutes...
the croc should have eaten the kid and had elie for dessert
li' mate?
"This kid isn't a killer[insert semicolon here, please] he has restored a little bit of the natural order and his parents don't deserve to be sued."
The post of this story on BBC.com is even more disturbing, including a picture of the boy throwing an animal. It also mentions the camera catching the boy smiling at times while he was on his killing spree. 13 animals in 30 minutes... Would anyone scoff at the story if he'd killed mammals instead of reptiles?
Either someone cut a few fartz, or Ellie stinks!
Not a killer? He bashed their heads in with a rock
22: Those statistics are probably irrelevant. You'd first need to know what percentage of the general population engages in violence against animals in childhood.
There is a high correlation between eating pizza in one's childhood and commiting violance against humans in adulthood.
It seems really easy to connect the dots between childhood violence and adult violence. Violence->violence. Not that tough. But, let me throw out an alternative theory. Maybe people who were violent as children get a better understanding about what it means for a living thing to be hurt or killed and end up with a better sense of what the consequences of their actions will be and tend to not have such a cavalier attitude towards life.
26: The word you're looking for is "kill" not "murder." Murder requires a human victim. Lizards are not human.
I've bashed spiders with rocks. i'm a killer tooo!!!!
Fratricide, "boy, man, I don't know."
Now you're mocking us with your bad grammar.
I've bashed spiders with rocks. i'm a killer tooo!!!!
This post makes no sense. Killing small animals is one of the hallmarks of sociopathy. That kid is going to move on to killing people when he gets big enough.
You know, there was a powerful allegory missed here. Think of the 7-year old as a V10 equity partner and the crocodile as a piece of mega-litigation. Where does that leave you?
This kid has some serious problems...today he's throwing helpless lizards and other small reptiles to croc, but what is next? Dogs? Cats? Smaller kids he can pick up and throw over the fence. Get this kid some psychiatric help..and if it takes a lawsuit to get his parents to wake up and realize what a little monster they've raised, so much the better. Get this heartless little SOB off the street.
This kid has some serious problems...today he's throwing helpless lizards and other small reptiles to croc, but what is next? Dogs? Cats? Smaller kids he can pick up and throw over the fence. Get this kid some psychiatric help..and if it takes a lawsuit to get his parents to wake up and realize what a little monster they've raised, so much the better. Get this heartless little SOB off the street.
This kid has some serious problems...today he's throwing helpless lizards and other small reptiles to croc, but what is next? Dogs? Cats? Smaller kids he can pick up and throw over the fence? Get this kid some psychiatric help..and if it takes a lawsuit to get his parents to wake up and realize what a little monster they've raised, so much the better. Get this heartless little SOB off the street.
Way to totally gloss over the fact that the kid beat many of these animals to death with a rock! Feeding one or two to an alligator might be chalked up to curiosity - but a killing rampage involving bludgeoning small animals with a rock that required him to BREAK INTO A ZOO is definitely an early sign of a sociopath.
Fuck you, Elie, and your second post that doesn't take cruelty to animals seriously.
Fuck you, Elie, and your second post that doesn't take cruelty to animals seriously.
Confusing post. The writing sucks.
ATL has yet to mention that Christina Schultz Warthen's trouble with the IRS. That seems a bit more relevant to a "legal tabloid" than this piece on feeding crocodiles.
46 here -- oops, meant CSW *is in* trouble
Hey, Elie, you're off base. 25 --you're funny.
Also, on the whole idea of the zoo suing? While I agree that this kid is one fucked-up little fuck, if I were the zoo I would not want to make a stink about how a little 7-year-old can penetrate security and get into the enclosures of animals that would eat him. If this case were in America, the parents would be suing the zoo for being so lax that their sweet little dahmer was endangered by incompetent zooery.
Although it sounds like the world would've been better off if the kid had slipped and fallen into a crocodile.
What does this have to do with law, other than this parallels the relationship between a partner and the junior associates?
The kid's parents are to blame. I hope they get the shit sued out of them.
35: it's from The West Wing...good reference.
Just a thought, but if the kid did get eaten, how likely is it that the parents would NOT have sued the zoo?
Agree w/ Pacific Reporter. The disturbing nature of the kid's actions aside, he was destroying zoo property, and the parents should bear responsibility. Elie, would you think his actions were so cool if he was caught spray-painting your car?
Sterilize the parents.
Euthanize the kid.
Elie, you're way off base here. I find this story disgusting and I'm appalled at your inability to talk about the story in a way that doesn't come off as unbelievably flippant. I will consider this the point at which ATL jumped the shark. I was pulling for you throughout the contest, was happy you won and have enjoyed your writing so far but you've lost a reader.
Seriously, regardless of whether or not this little shit is a sociopath, he stole and destroyed zoo property to the tune of $5,500. His parents should be sued.
Guys in my high school used to take lobsters out of their tiny cages, bash their heads against rocks, and share their tasty insides with local wildlife all the time. It was no big ...
Oh. We're talking about lizards? Lizards! Well that's just fucking evil.
Fry the little tyke. Seriously.
Horrible. Where were the kids parents?
The zoo is going to sue the parents for damage as the kid is too young to charge under Australian Law.
someone needs to feed ATL to a croc.