How To Get Fired from Sullivan & Cromwell (Part 1)

Ah, Sullivan & Cromwell. It’s a top law firm — not just in prestige and profits, but also blog fodder. See, e.g., Carlos Spinelli-Noseda (partner who defrauded firm and clients of half a million dollars through expense fraud); Aaron Charney (associate who sued the firm for antigay discrimination, while still employed there).

When people leave 125 Broad Street, they go out with a bang. Today, courtesy of several tipsters, we bring you the tale of another former SullCrom employee who departed under less than ideal circumstances. Let’s call him “DB,” short for “douchebag.”

(To those of you who find the term offensive, we say: if it’s good enough for the Second Circuit, it’s good enough for ATL. Also, we use it affectionately.)

During law school, DB developed a reputation “as a racist, sexist jerkoff who always flaunted the fact that he was wealthy.” Here’s why:

  • His first words upon meeting his law school roommates: “Hi, I’m DB. I’m independently wealthy.”
  • In a class discussion about price discrimination and consumer choice, he said: “Sometimes when I’m in a real hurry, I am forced to fly coach.”
  • At a law firm reception, he said to the attorneys, “Don’t you miss the good old days when there were no girls at a place like this, except for hookers and strippers?”
  • This charming lad then made his way to 125 Broad Street, where he joined GP (general practice; S&C-speak for “Corporate”) at Sullivan. Now, S&C pays well — in addition to generous base salaries and year-end bonuses, they pay supplemental bonuses to senior associates. But DB was unimpressed:

  • “My allowance used to be bigger than whatever I earn from this place. I feel so poor now that I’m working.”
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    Read more about his rudeness, after the jump.


    DB continued to run his mouth at SullCrom. Some gems from his time at the firm:

  • DB once was fat, then lost a lot of weight. He was obsessed with working out and spent hours every day in the gym. This led him to conclude that fat people “had no reason to live.”
  • In a crowded elevator, DB expressed the view that FIG (financial institutions group) at S&C is home to the “fat and ugly.” When confronted about this remark by partners, he noted (correctly) that fat and ugly are not protected classes under the Constitution.
  • DB went to a diversity event and declared that racism does not exist.
  • DB showed up drunk to a fundraiser for a domestic violence assistance center and yelled: “Where my battered women at?!”
  • On “bring your kid to work” day, DB struck up a conversation with a five-year-old. Speaking very loudly and slowly, as if the kid was retarded, he pointed to a colleague a few feet away and said: “You’re lucky he’s not your daddy, because then you’d have male-pattern baldness.”
  • (In true lawyer fashion, the object of derision objected that he suffers not from male-pattern baldness, but a different form of hair loss.)

  • A summer associate asked DB about hanging out. DB: “Yo man, you’re not my friend. You’re nothing to me. You are nothing but $60 for lunch and $80 for dinner.”
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    But these incidents, while they didn’t burnish DB’s personnel file, were not what got him in real trouble. We’ll bring you that story in a subsequent post. If you have anything to add, feel free to email us. (We did reach out to the firm for comment, but they did not get back to us.)

    Update: The subsequent post, revealing the fate of DB at S&C, is available here.

    P.S. We are also working on an item about a former contract attorney supervisor who was too sexy for S&C. If you think you know what we’re talking about, we’d like to hear from you; please email us (subject line: “Sullivan and Cromwell”). Thanks.