Escape From Minnesota: Free Erin Keyes!
When a law school dean threatens a massive invasion of privacy, something stinks.
The Assistant Dean of Students at University of Minnesota Law School is Erin Keyes. You might remember her for her 3rd place performance in our Law School Dean Hotties Contest.
But having a pretty face doesn’t prevent Keyes from getting dirty when the job requires. Yesterday she sent around a school-wide email:
We have had several recent reports about a strong, offensive odor emanating from a small section of the Law School’s locker room. If you believe you may have left a lunch or other item behind, we ask that you remove it immediately. Starting at 3 PM today, staff from the Law School’s Facilities office will begin opening lockers to find and remove the source of the odor.We appreciate your cooperation, and in the future, ask all students to ensure that no perishable food items are left in lockers.
We’ll get back to dirty smelly puns in a second.
But UMN Law students should take immediate action. Take your drugs out of your locker NOW. 3:00 p.m. will be upon you soon and if one of you leaves the crystal meth (or whatever they are doing in the upper Midwest these days) in your locker, you will be mocked. You’ll be mocked on ATL, in court, and later when somebody who knows your story buys coffee from you.
End of PSA announcement.
Back to the smell (if there is such a thing) after the jump.
Which UMN student has poisoned the clean lake air? A tipster points out:
[T]he so-called locker room is not a gym locker room; just a bunch of lockers for convenient—if not sweet smelling—storage of books, etc.
I smell a stolen sandwich.
One has to feel sorry for Dean Keyes. When she received her J.D. from UMN Law in 2000, she couldn’t have possibly imagined she’d be dealing with odoriferous student lockers just eight years later. Maybe she should have gone to Lindquist & Vennum instead.
Earlier: Law School Dean Hotties: Your Female Nominees
Summer Associates of the Day: Sapphic Summers in Lesbianic Lip-Lock?
(41) Comments
Comments
FIRST
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She's hot, but I still like this OMM associate mentioned in the comments a few days ago:
http://www.omm.com/brookecucinella/
Elie, what's up with all of the drug references? They seem to have replaced politics. plz 2 stop. kthx.
And I thought UMN Law smelled bad on the outside!
But really, what Elie is doing in a UMN Law locker to begin with?
Its just the overwhelming stench of failure, quite common at UMN
Rumor spread around the UMN law school yesterday that there was an overpowering smell of dog feces in the locker room (which is, as mentioned, a non-sports locker room for storage of books etc). Students were checking the bottoms of their shoes all morning, but the doggy poo was not located. Meanwhile, the smell intestified. Clearly, Dean Keyes had to act.
And she's hot. Also dating a really attractive woman. I think that brings her to the top of the list.
This would never happen at my Big Ten law school - UPenn!
Keyes= hot????
Seriously, I don't know what is dropping more, the stock market or the standards for being considered "hot".
The Michigan sandwich was an interesting story, this one sucks.
Dumbest Post EVER
Has someone already said that abovethelaw.com has jumped the shark? If not, then, abovethelaw.com has jumped the shark.
It reminds me of once being told I was the hottest girl in law school. Remember the qualifier people.
Welcome to the Locker Room of FARTS!
So a weird smell in a locker room is now news?
I remember when I would delete the NY Lawyer e-mails from my inbox because I had already heard the headlines days before on ATL. Now, I can't wait to get the Daily Buzz because it fills in where this site miserably fails: actual news about the legal profession.
I like how every time somebody calls a girl hot on this board somebody has to interject that the girl is actually not hot because he has seen hotter girls.
Gentlemen at the legal preparatory academy with which I was once affiliated, at various intervals, elected to abandon decomposing organic materials in public forums utilized collectively by the aforementioned gentlemen and others affiliated with the same legal preparatory academy for purposes of storing legal tomes and other accoutrements necessary and proper for the giving and receiving of instruction in the laws of this and other nations and other jurisdictions, not necessarily of this earth. The leaving behind of such organic materials, variously believed by those observing the aftereffects of the decomposition to be, in the alternative, either covenient luncheon comestibles or the unseemly digestive leftovers of a certain species of domestic mammal, caused administrative personnel of the legal preparatory academy, including but not limited to the not unattractive assistant dean of students, to make public demand for the removal of the decaying materials, whose fetid and oderiferous nature had provoked a caterwauling from the assembled students of that legal prepatory academy, and, in the failure of those persons to effect such removal, to organize a party for the search and seizure of those materials believed to cause offense. This whole affair was not contemplated by the public at large to be of particular consequence in the context of society as a whole.
I like how we always talk about "law school hot" girls, but no one mentions the real problem, which is that law schools don't even have "law school hot" guys. They have trolls, lardos, and hairy goons, and the occasional guy that doesn't make you throw up just by looking at him. I guess that counts as "law school hot" for guys.
18 - I'm definitely a "law school hot" guy; women hardly ever vomit when they look at me. Interested?
17 - Epic.
16 -- That is not a good observation. I've seen better observations than that.
MysTTTal
17 - Epic.
17, I salute you.
17, thank you for that.
"PSA Announcement?"
Redundancy much often?
17 wins. Also, Elie doesn't have a locker because he keeps his drugs tucked safely in the folds of his manboobs and his overpowering fat-person odor fools the drug dogs.
Guys in my high school used to leave perishable food items in their lockers all the time. It was no big deal.
Also, Legal Fraternity Lothario aka 17, is awesome
17 - that was great
17 - might I suggest the use of the term "fora" to increase obtuseness?
There's an alleged hot lesbian dean with a hot girlfriend, and the story only covers a smelly locker room? Seems horribly misguided.
He said what about Los Angeles.
She said we never really made it that far west.
We scored big in Denver and we thought it might be best...
To go hang around in the upper midwest.
Saint Barbara i'm calling your name.
Don't let me blow up, we'll hook it all up
I guess there's fields of speed where there's fields of grain.
So, speed, not meth, methinks.
17 good work.
poop
Apparently, the Jets are having the same problem. Perhaps HofstraMagna can comment on this.
http://sports.yahoo.com/nfl/blog/shutdown_corner/post/Jets-locker-room-is-87-stinkier-since-Brett-Fav?urn=nfl,113469
#10 - Meet her in person. She's definitely hot.
In fact, she was one of the hottest women around the school, which, on further thought, doesn't really say a whole lot.
Ah yes, I got this e-mail. For about 5 seconds it took my mind off the fact that maybe 3 people will have a summer associate position this year. Minneapolis market ftl
17 = hope winters
this site used to be funny.
this site used to be funny.
I concur with 36 in response to 10. Dean Keyes is incredibly hot in person. I'm a UMN graduate, and I still miss seeing her in the halls every once in a while.