And You Thought Your Law School Was Cutthroat and Competitive
Today marks the start of two weeks of “Assassins” at Columbia Law School. The game will start internally, undoubtedly as a training exercise for CLS students before they start hunting the deadliest prey: NYU students.
The game, if you’ve never played it, is awesome. The rules are simple:
* You will be given a target. Find them and “assassinate” them by hitting them in the back with a sock.* Get your next assignment from your “assassinated” target; his/her former target becomes yours.
* If you “swing & miss” your target, you must wait one hour before attempting another assassination.
* Once you are “assassinated,” you are out of the game.
* The last player standing is the winner.
As we understand it, over 200 students have signed up. An organizer tells us why:
If stereotypes are to believed, CLS students are familiar with watching their backs, eyeing their rivals with suspicion, viciously taking any means necessary to eliminate their competition, and gloating with vituperation at victories over colleagues.
In this job market, “Assassins” is much better training than M&A.
Read the full rules and regulations, after the jump.
COLUMBIA LAW SCHOOL —- ASSASSINS RULES
Play
* You will be given a target. Find them and “assassinate” them by hitting them in the back with a sock.
* Get your next assignment from your “assassinated” target; his/her former target becomes yours.
* When you have eliminated a target, register your assassination with the commissioner [Redacted]. The commissioner will notify the target. There is a 4-hour dispute window.
* If you “swing & miss” your target, you must wait one hour before attempting another assassination.
* Once you are “assassinated” you are out of the game.
* The last player standing is the winner.
Assassinations
* Make your weapon by stuffing socks into the bottom of a long tube sock. The sock may only be filled with another sock(s).
* People will “assassinate” other players by hitting them with a sock.
* Only hits to the back count, though the person being hit doesn’t have to be unaware.
* Any hit to a backpack worn on the back counts as a hit.
* No throwing the sock. It must be held in the hand.
* Assassinations may be made both on & off campus.
Logistics
* The game will start on Monday, November 10 at 5am.
* Regular play will end on Monday, November 24 at 5pm. At this time, if there is no winner, the top 10 active assassins (by number of kills) will go into a sudden death round.
* The game will be administrated by a non-playing Commissioner who will maintain the targets, keep score, and be the final arbiter in all disputes.
Restrictions
* NOTHING IN A CLASSROOM DURING CLASS OR ANY SCHEDULED EVENT.
* NOTHING ON THE 5TH FLOOR OR ABOVE.
* NOTHING IN ANY OF THE UNIVERSITY LIBRARIES.
* YOU MAY NOT ASSASSINATE ANYONE ELSE’S TARGET.
* PLEASE KEEP IN MIND THIS IS AN EDUCATIONAL ENVIRONMENT; DON’T BE DISRUPTIVE. [Ed Note: Hahahahahahahahaha]
* REPORTS OF EXCESSIVE DISRUPTION WILL SUBJECT THE PLAYER TO DISQUALIFICATION.
Anyone who doesn’t abide by the rules is out of the game.
(101) Comments
Comments
Pretzels
First to assassinate Elie. With a spell-checker. It's his Kryptonite.
gay
Guys at my high school used to play assassins all the time, it was no big deal. Seriously. This is a high school game. I'd expect better from an Ivy law school.
- Already graduated from High School Frat Stud
Yes. I played this game in high school. Class of 97 ROCKS!
Must have been a slow weekend.
"Ed Notee".
what a bunch of nerds
Wasn't Mystal the guy in Full Metal Jacket that got assassinated by socks?
wow, who cares
If I organized one of these at my school and won, could I put it on my resume?
-Nervous T-10 1L
Guys in my high school played Killer all the time.
o hai, legal blogging, yur doin it wrong
Seriously, who cares?
Such a lame post for a Monday.
MysTTTal
This exact game was the entire plot of an old CSI episode. Nothing new just some students getting chiller killer.
... yur doin it kwite poorly akshully
UVA's Human Rights Group used to do this as a fundraiser. It was no big deal, except for this one girl, who saw it as the highlight of her weird little life.
10 = dingleberry
I played this game at the Illinois Math & Science Academy. Even at this nerd-magnet of a high school, we all knew we were complete dorks for playing. These CLS players need gfs/bfs; that's what ended my assassin days.
I can't wait for this game to get ruined by a student doing a semester overseas.
So there must be absolutely no news of note in the legal world.
This sounds fun. Also, how did Friday's boycott go?
That's the gayest thing I've ever heard of. Seriously.
Ripped off from the movie "Gotcha!" starring Anthony Edwards back when he had hair.
*nervously stalks behind a biglaw partner to hit him with a sock. hopes that he will be so impressed as to offer me a 1l sa position*
-nervous T-10 1L
email job leads to nervoust101l@yahoo.com
Assassins is "awesome?" In what world, one inhabited by chubby bloggers with fat fingers? MysTTTal and these law students need to get lives.
gay, and not in a good way.
If you touch me with a sock, I will kill you. That is all.
Really, no one thinks this would be fun? I think it'd be a blast. This too:
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/27/nyregion/27wars.html?ex=1380168000&en=fe08c2ff0dd50384&ei=5124
I only read this site for the substantive news and the comments by nervous T-10 1L. Everything else is garbage.
NYU plays a version of this called "Hugs".
High school games that are played by so-called Ivy League law students are such jarvis probes.
8: No. He committed suicide later. Also, he was struck with socks filled with a bar of soap, not "another sock(s)".
Seriously? "Cut Throat" in a headline? Do you own a f-ing dictionary?
Seriously? "Cut Throat" in a headline? Do you own a f-ing dictionary?
I come to this blog because I'm bored at work. If I am also bored on this blog, then there is really no point in my continued patronage.
TTThis is boring.
I have tolerated this blog's departure into the utterly juvenile for long enough. This crosses the line. Please, stop.
In middle school we use to play this. Except we would fill the socks with baseballs. Columbia is obviously for girls.
CLS students: That sticky, yet slightly crusty feeling on the back of your neck? That's right. I hit you with my jizz sock.
It would be better if they really took each other out. That way, there would be 200 less douche bags roaming around New York
anyone else notice that he can't even write his link properly?
".../assassins_colubias_creed.php#comments"
Sigh...
who is representing circuit city?
Agree with 19. CLS needs to get laid instead of playing this crap.
Lat. Please equip MysTTTal with an electro-shock collar so we can break this behavior of POSTING STUPID FUCKING LAW SCHOOL GOSSIP.
I would be pissed to find this in my school's internal bulletin. It's not even that newsworthy.
Here's a clue, Elie. 90% of your job is to find the scoop and 10% is to write about it. If you don't have a scoop, don't write yet.
11:54 and still waiting for the first post of substance of the day.
42 Skadden
40 - 200 less douche bags roaming around NY wouldn't even be remotely noticeable.
Texas released bar results last week.
This game looks fun but will never compare to FANTASY GUNNER LEAGUES already in play at law schools around the country.
47 -- But 200 FEWER douche bags might be.
Thank you very much for posting this Elie. I was really curious as to whether dorks at some law school were playing a childish stupid game that pokemon nerds in middle school play, and then justifying it by analogizing it to their shitty upcoming careers. I really care about what CLS students are doing, I really do.
*takes notes on how to distract competition as I study for A's*
*thinks that gunner game at a T-5 is at the next level*
- nervous T-10 1L
The Onion actually wrote on a similar game that regularly occurs in NY subways. Seems more challenging than this sock bit.
http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/its_not_easy_being_a_frotteur
What a terrible post. Circuit City filed for bankruptcy this morning -- can't you find something legal-related to write about?
Really looking forward to updates on various intramural leagues too, although I would settle for more great stories about what people do in their spare time.
30, really? T-10 1L? I check the blog less frequently because of her.
nervous t10 1L is the worst.
As if we needed more evidence that law students, especially "elite" ones, are dorky and lame.
As a CLS 2L, I must admit that sometimes I'm ashamed at the level of nerdiness that goes on around here. How about a wet t-shirt contest instead?
Berkeley plays this with squirt guns.
Socks are for pussies.
Change "sock" to "rock" and "back" to "back of head" and then you have a game.
A better game would be suggest that these 200 annoyin law students go to a "recruiting event" on a bus that is then driven into the East River so they can play "sink or swim" for real...
We did this with squirt guns in high school. BFD, CLS.
Guys in my high school, who weren't actually getting laid, used to organize school-wide ookie cookie tournaments all the time, once you got used to the salty sweet taste of defeat, it was no big deal. . .
Your right, if us CLSers had gfs and bfs then we would all have better things to do 24/7 which would as a result consume the 2 minutes a day that we spend playing this game.
- CLSer
39 - What's a jizz sock?
JT once played Assassin. After the Baron Harkonnen successfully executed a plot to capture and ultimately murder JT's father, JT was able to escape to the desert and become the leader of a scattered but powerful group of desert-dwelling law students - the Saint John'smen.
JT then imbibed the water of life - made from a stunted and drowned law professor - and gained the ability of prescience. As was legend, JT foretold the answers to both the July 2008 and February 2009 New York State Bar Exam and Multistate Bar Exam and subsequently defeated the Baron Harokennen, crippled NYBLE's monopoly on the melange, and ultimately ascended to the throne of the Emperor - Dean of Yale law school (or the top-earning partner at Wachtell, whatevs).
64--that's "we" not "us." Your comment makes CLS look worse than the game. I thought it was getting harder and harder to get into CLS, but you demonstrate one problem with a single-minded focus on LSAT scores to the disregard of everything else.
Really? I fail to understand how this makes us look so terrible. We're playing a game that other universities and grad schools (and even cities) have played for a bit of harmless fun. It's sad when a CLS student has to tell you to chill out, but the advice applies here.
-CLS student
Is hitting someone in the back with a sock the way they do it in the city? At Cornell we used good ole fashioned (fake) dart guns (with the fake, rubberized darts, of course). Yay, upstate New York!
10--
I think we Michigan students would be down for it.
-Michigan Law student who knows who Nervous T-10 1L is.
You all take yourselves far too seriously.
-CLS Student (albeit one who admittedly isn't getting laid...)
I'm surprised to see that CLS seems nerdier than my school. This game is silly.
Cheers,
Chicago Law student
Seriously, this is a little bit of fun amid the endless work of school. Plus, it doesn't impact getting laid. In fact, the thrill of the kill adds to it.....and the fact that we are better than you.
-Not nervous whatsoever CLSer
I'm a CLS student who is not playing this game and is getting laid by an attractive woman. Yeah, I'm pretty sure there's a correlation.
A fun break from studying might involve beer and traveling below 79th street, but we never do that here. We'll just play the sock game.
Funny how CLSs are defending this.
You guys are dorks, period. Try checking out the real world and then see if you think this game is cool.
This is the gayest thing I've seen on this blog since...last week.
95% chance that NYPD blows away innocent African-American CLS student, claiming that his sock looked like a firearm. Multiple officers and hundreds of expended rounds will be involved.
You guys are so lame, this game sounds like a ton of fun. Anything to break up the monotony of a day is a good thing in the weeks leading up to exams.
If Nervous is who I think he is, he played the game in HS.
Hi guys,
This is Elie. I want to appolize for this post. I understand that it is really lame. I intend to go back to clown college (HLS) to get funny,... again.
Thanks for your understanding.
I hate this team-building shit.
and then Columbia students wonder why everyone makes fun of them....
yls did this a few years back
Personally, I'm pretty hot and I have an amazing sex life. I also go to CLS, which means I will probably have an amazing job. Sweet.
But seriously...how does playing assassins have anything to do with getting laid? Because the two minutes I spent thinking about it today really took away from everything else I'm doing...
This is going down at my school and I don't even give a F. This blog is so, so lame. I'm out.
This actually sounds pretty fun. However, timing and proper vetting of the 'pool' is probably critical. I wouldn't want this shit going down during finals - too much stress and people freaking out. And, I wouldn't want to have any (or at least too many) of the 'crazies' in the game - some people freak the shit out when they're approached from behind - badaboom - and/or scared. Normal people laugh / push you. The crazies cut you the fuck up.
T6 Gangster Word Out Yo
84: It's not that people who play the stupid game won't have time for sex; it's that people who think the stupid game is fun are probably people who are too lame to have much of sex life. I don't agree with that necessarily. But, that's how the argument goes.
87: Oh gee! Thanks for explaining the reasoning process for the inane arguments on this board. I'm sure to do great on my exams now that I understand.
88: Aw, you're welcome, bb. /sarcasm
10-
Michigan already has its own version of this game, except we do it in pairs.
Something about the whole collegiality thing. Happens in the spring.
Stuff like THIS is exactly why I can't wait to get out o this place.
What a bunch of frustrated people ... but i understand, it is nice to spit on CLS for once... And go to a shrink guys: to be hit by a sock is a gay thing ??!! I wonder what you are thinking in putting your socks !!!
ASOXINATION.
Do non T-10ers get to comment on these things? I think it sounds pretty fun, and since law school is so much like high school anyway, it's appropriate. It would certainly be something good to take my mind off of all the wild monkey sex that goes on at my school.
--not sure where my school is on the rankings, pretty sure it's in the T-40.
p.s. 65--you know very well what a jizz sock is.
A source with knowledge of CLS claims the winner of ASSASSINS is Greg Yaecker. This kid must be a huuuge gunner. What do you guys know about him?
Guy is a dominant MegaMan 3 Player.
Poster #96 died in the first castle of Zelda for NES. He is a mediocre gamer and even struggled with the critically-panned Zelda NES follow-up: 'Link'.
I can tell you for a fact that Greg can also beat Mike Tyson's Punch Out at the dop of a hat. The kid is just a winner. Headphones blazin.
I can tell you for a fact that Greg can also beat Mike Tyson's Punch Out at the dop of a hat. The kid is just a winner. Headphones blazin.
Yaecker...so hot right now...Yaecker.
Yaecker's back!