Lawyer Starts Blog To Showcase His Slow Descent into Madness
Look, I’m the last person on Earth to criticize somebody for getting out of the law firm life and following a dream. But I’m a little worried that “Jack,” who writes the blog Adventures in Voluntary Simplicity, might have lost a little bit of his grip on reality. I spent most of the morning reading Jack’s missives. It’s a bit like reading a Walt Whitman poem that’s been printed with letters cut out from various magazines.
But, despite his apparent madness, Jack is still gainfully employed as an attorney (he doesn’t say where). Law firm employment is of course something that Jack intends to discontinue. He’s got a whole plan he wants to execute so that he can leave his job by the end of 2009:
There is nothing inherently wrong with my job as a lawyer. In fact, for several years, I really felt that it was interesting and intellectually challenging. On the other hand, coming into work was a wonderful way to play adult and pretend that I knew all the answers that really mattered. Putting on expensive suits, traveling all over the world, representing important clients, knowing the location of expensive restaurants, etc…were all just a way for me to tie additional knots in an ever-expanding invisible chain of hopeless materialism. …And then I started getting…well…bored. The mind-numbing effects of sitting in front of a computer for 12, 13, 14 hours a day 6, sometimes 7 days a week making very rich people even more rich definitely caught up with me. …
So here I am. Making hundreds of thousands of dollars a year in a job that infuriates me and gets me no closer to fulfilling my potential.
Okay Jack. I’m with you buddy.
But the plan gets weird after the jump.
Who among us has not had Jack’s fleeting moment of clarity that we might be worth more than what a Biglaw firm is willing to pay? Of course, most of us take the moment and stuff it way back down into a place where it can’t hurt us anymore.
Jack? He’s kinda taking the Robert Frost approach:
The way I see it, I need to take advantage of my current salary until I can do the following:
1. Dispose of my townhouse.
2. Get rid of my existing consumer debt.
3. Arrange to sell/give away most of my possessions.
4. Have enough saved so that I can earn a certain amount a year in interest.
Sell your possessions? Why would you do that? “Things” are cool. Who doesn’t like things?
Jack made this plan back in July. Since then he has been posting regular updates about how his quitting process is going:
From the beginning, I could justify leaving my law firm because by the time I did I would have enough cash to feel comfortable and secure for years to come. While the plan calls for having enough money in the bank to make $10k a year in interest, the reality is that I could probably live off whatever salary I get from the dream jobs I am currently researching without tapping into my savings. Bottom line, even if I were to leave my job in 6 months or even 3 months, I would still have enough in savings to make leaving my job early worthwhile.What this all means is that the date of my departure from the law firm is no longer based on how much I have in savings. In fact, freedom for me now depends on how soon I can figure out the practicalities of getting rid of every unnecessary physical thing in my life. As soon as I can dispose of the townhouse and get rid of my furniture I will be in a position to quit my job. What a difference a change in perspective can make.
Whatever happened to the old “flaming-poop-on-desk” method of quitting? Isn’t that the traditional language for telling the world “I’m having a nervous breakdown, please help me.”
In any event, Jack’s most recent post is what caught the attention of the legal blogosphere:
How about it, my dear reader? Do you feel like starting a little revolution? I’ve got nothing better to do and I figured it might be fun. :)WHAT ARE WE REBELLING AGAINST?
So, what are we rebelling against, you ask? Materialism. Consumerism. Apathy. Injustice. The feeling that all the problems we face are impossible to solve. And, above all, our irrational reluctance to love our fellow man.
But wait, it gets better:
THE PLOTThe plot is actually fairly straightforward: give away a sizable amount of money I don’t really need to random people. Here are the basics:
*Stuff blank envelopes with bills of random denominations.
*Include a note with the following narrative:
“To the person who finds this envelope,
I am a person who has enough. Take this money and use it as you wish. In return, I hope you can search within yourself and realize that all that matters in life is love. So, call your family. Help a friend. Lend a stranger a hand. In the end, all we have is each other.”
*Drop off the envelopes at random and not so random locations throughout the East Coast.
See, the thing is, I kind of love (in the Platonic sense) Jack now. I really want him to succeed. I find it fascinating that in this time of layoffs and turmoil, this guy still has a job.
But, since he is clearly bats^&$ crazy, I’m really worried that my new friend will end up in a hollowed out van in Alaska, Into the Wild style.
There are so many associates out there who feel the same way Jack does everyday. The take away point from Jack is that the golden handcuffs are only as strong as you allow them to be. There’s always a way out.
… And most people can find that way out without giving up all their stuff.
Good luck Jack.
Lets Start a Revolution!!!!!!!!!!! [Adventures in Voluntary Simplicity]
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Comments
LAST!
These pretzels are making me want to live a life of voluntary simplicity!
PRACTICE TIP: If you are employed making "hundreds of thousands of dollars a year" as an attorney, it is not advisable to publish photos of your self on the world-wide-web with your pants down stuffed with currency.
* Gets in car and drives to random and not so random locations on the East Coast *
Hey, at least his blog is entertaining, MysTTTal.
first!
* Gets in car and drives to random and not so random locations on the East Coast *
Good post, Elie.
I like Jack, I feel like him.
it. is. a. joke.
it's a joke.
Would it be fair to say that he has Benjamins in his pants?
first!
What is a "hallowed out van"? One that is especially sacred? Maybe a "hollowed out van"? Seriously Lat I think you need to do a background check on Elie and make sure he really is a double Harvard grad..
I've got a jar full of materialism that I'm selling for $5. Any takers?
philalawyer.net ... much smarter than jack.
$1,000 says either he never does it, or ends up on a rooftop with a sniper rifle. Or both.
Ha Ha Now you're not.
This guy is such a Bobrowsky.
I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.
I am Jack's Cold Sweat.
I wish "Jack" would finally just throw in the towel and stop torturing the legal community with his threats to quit his job. Seriously, lots of lawyers are out of work right now. If he was truly the noble the soul he claims to be, he would quit his job so some other superficial shmuck can have it.
Exactly 4:43. Next thing, Jack is starting to attending testicular cancer supports groups to feel "alive" and squatting at old abandoned house in the industrial part of town while his alter ego is wearing a really cool bathroom robe with coffee mugs on it.
This guy is such a tool! You'd think he were a rock star, or at least a hedge fund manager, the way he goes on and on about how much money he makes and all his wildly sophisticated ways....you're a BigLaw lawyer making decent money and living a decent life...get over yourself!
I am Jack's Raging Bile Duct.
Is it still charity if you gave away money that was rubbing up on your johnson, while you posed for a photo?
Is this the guy who burned his Harvard degree?
I Am Jack's Smirking Revenge.
Is it still charity if you gave away money that was rubbing up on your johnson, while you posed for a photo?
How about doing something "good" with excess money, rather than giving it to random people to be unique. How about actually changing someone's life in a country where they can't even afford to eat.
3 = hilarious
Jack needs to be beaten with a Glass Cock so that he regains his morale.
"He's kinda taking the Robert Frost approach."
Maybe you mean Henry David Thoreau? The guy that lived on Walden Pond? Although I guess Jack is taking the "Road Less Traveled"...
Jack is a badass.
Is this on here because Jack is gay?
I am Jack's colon. I get cancer; I kill Jack.
This is clearly Obama propaganda which will make all of us feel as if the tax prison rape which is coming is something we wanted in the first place.
Oceania has always been at war with Eastasia...
Speaking of testicular cancer, I'd be careful with that much money down my pants. The government-implanted RFID tags in the money give off some serious ball-shrinking radiation. I can only assume that he thought ahead and is wearing his tinfoil underwear,
Jack Sprat could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean. So between the two of them they licked the platter clean.
I think Jack just needs to get laid. His girlfriend/boyfriend would likely slap him silly if he tried to give away his money.
Elie is a fatass.
I think Jack just needs to get laid. His girlfriend/boyfriend would likely slap him silly if he tried to give away his money.
35--
We can only hope.
41
He definitely has a boyfriend. Only a queer would wear that much bling.
-The Prestigious Southerner
Speaking of testicular cancer, I'd be careful with that much money down my pants. The government-implanted RFID tags in the money give off some serious ball-shrinking radiation. I can only assume that he thought ahead and is wearing his tinfoil underwear,
I like how this guy acts like he's all revolutionary, when really he's just acting out Fight Club.
35 GREAT REFERENCE. I think it was lost on 42
35 GREAT REFERENCE. I think it was lost on 42
Nothing about this self-important cunt's musings is original or interesting. I know this blog really hurts for content, but feeding this attention whore's anonymous star turn is just boring.
I was going to revolt against materialism, consumerism and apathy, but then I got sidetracked playing Rock Band 2 for Wii on my 52" and was kind of like, "eh."
I hate this guy. I can't find a job and he's whining about how much he makes. Go to hell "Jack."
I was going to revolt against materialism, consumerism and apathy, but then I got sidetracked playing Rock Band 2 for Wii on my 52" and was kind of like, "eh."
Get a grip. Rent a Jerry Maguire DVD to get a sense of the cold harsh reality of life. I'm a paralegal, so I don't get paid enough to give myself a spiritual hand job, but this guy needs to grow up, accept some responsibility, and stop whining. If he's serious, at the very least he could quit his job so somebody else would be able to have gainful employment. You attorneys are a piece of work!
I'm with 50. Fuck this guy. Nervous post-3Ls everywhere are coming down off their bar-passing high only to remember the market is a wasteland. We're zombies shuffling around the streets, muttering, "[j]obs....jobs....joooooooooooooobs."
"I spent most of the morning reading Jack's missives."
And eating twice his weight in Hostess products.
@52
I am giving myself a physical handjob as i type.
@52
I am giving myself a physical handjob as i type.
51 - if you were REALLY materialistic, you'd have a PS3 - WAY better graphics - Nintendo is for chicks and kids.
4 periods in ellipses, with improper spacing? No wonder you're unemployed. Go cry in your 18th ed.
So Ellie has a fat ass you say?
I think that blogging may be in violation of the first rule of Fight Club.
57
If he was really PRESTIGIOUS he would have a PS3, Xbox, and Wii
-The Prestigious Southerner
"See, the thing is, I kind of love (in the Platonic sense) Jack now. "
I WISH I KNEW HOW TO QUIT YOU MYSTTTAL
elie, i will put dollar bills down your pants for a job.
-nervous T-10 1L
email job leads to nervoust101l@yahoo.com
"See, the thing is, I kind of love (in the Platonic sense) Jack now. "
I WISH I KNEW HOW TO QUIT YOU MYSTTTAL
-- LATTT
It's interesting that all the comments are so: "Oh Jack!! That is such a brilliant, generous idea. It reminds me of when [insert mawkish, saccharine quasi-hippy story about act of kindness experience]." And he has done exactly what...blog about himself and his nebulous, purported plans? Oh wait, he burned his degree. That changes everything.
It's people like this that keep my warm at night. If by warm you mean fired up with ambition to take down psycho douchebags.
If Jack worked at SkaddenDC, he wouldn't have to quit. He could just be laid off.
Fuck Martha Stewart. Martha's polishing the brass on the Titanic. It's all going down man.
excellent points about jack -- but how will his pretentious pseudo-anti-arrogent feign help me get a position in WILDMAN HARROLD's Huge Loser practice group?
Jack was making an honest, earnest, mildly admirable-if-pathetic effort at improving his life when ATL linked to his blog, hundreds of sociopathic commenters descended upon him, and he realized humanity wasn't worth saving.
This guy is nothing but a prime example of how kids with rich backgrounds and ivy league educations need to take a year or two to get laid in europe or, alternatively, save the world in south america. Poor kids can handle going to straight to law school from undergrad, they are just happy to have a piece of the american dream. Rich kids start going all Walden on us. Let this be a lesson.
Elie, thanks for keeping us entertained with weird posts that people could grammar-check, but now it's bonus/layoff story time until January.
71 - could not agree more.
- poor kid who went to an Ivy League school in order to support children + immigrant parents, in lieu of frivolously handing out cash to strangers many of whom are likely to spend it on booze/drugs
If you consistently post horrible comments that aren't funny (at all), I would not select an avatar to diiferentiate yourself from other anonymous posters.
For example, when I see the Teddy Bear, I pass. No thanks. I'd rather not read Mr. Teddy Bear's recycled thoughts on the issue at hand. Please write all future thoughts on a piece of paper and kindly dispose of the paper in a wastebasket.
Seems to me Jack probably picked up the herpes from the Kirkland partner's wife, hence he is pissed off at the world. It's the only reasonable explanation for being such an asshole.
Jack can give me that money to pay my student loans, and then we can both quit, doing the legal field some good for once....
This story is stupid.
Agree with 72 - it's bonus time of year. Maybe it's time to make the annual pilgramage to greedyassociates for more focused coverage?
27 - brilliant. Fight Club is the first thing I though of, too.
It's been done. The relinquishing of possessions thing. Someone did it in 2007, put everything on ebay. I think there was a snafu with the auction, though. A guy did it in Iowa, sold everything on ebay and then went around and visited it. The guy in Australia sold everything including his friends on ebay. Jack is not very bright if he can't think of ways to get rid of shit. I do like the fight club explosion as a means of ridding oneself of things/people. I mean things. Yes, definitely just things.
Why does he even bother? Just wait until December 21, 2012. The end is coming.
lulz at 32's knowledge of Frost
If he really wants to help a stranger in need he should give him his job.
Fuck this dude. If he wants to give away all his things and be a minimalist that's fine. The fact that he has to put it on the internet and do gay shit like burn his degree shows how much attention this loser needs.
100% sure this guy works at Holland & Knight in DC.
elie, i will put dollar bills up my butt and let you watch if you give me a job.
-nervous T-10 1L
email job leads to nervoust101l@yahoo.com
83: "gay shit"?
86 - needs clarification.
86 - total fag
I'll take one of those envelopes Jack.
*Kind of* agree with 71. That is, rich Ivy League brats are the worst species on Earth, and are also highly prone to take up causes. On the other hand, sometimes causes aren't so bad, they just get a bad rap. Case in point, it's probably not terrible if this dude (if non-fictional) decides to mail out all his money or distribute it to people without money. It would be one thing if he were blogging as himself; quite another if he's doing it anonymously. There's nothing bad about deciding you have enough if it's genuine and not motivated by guilt or attention-seeking or something else like it. It's all okay, dudes.
TTTroll is not alone in thinking this guy is just angling to get some pussy.
Haha, people on the street are going to find money in an envelope and touch it, and then joke's on them, it was in some dude's pants!
I will take the townhouse Jack!
Why cover a fake blog?
The guy in Into the Wild died... because he was an idiot.
This guy is also an idiot.
Good luck to him.
Wow. You're all a bunch of idiots. Jack is the only one with any sense.
I don't know why but 55/56 just made me laugh out loud in Trusts & Estates. Now the professor is looking at me, and I definitely did not read shit about spendthrift trusts last night....oh well.
I know this guy. His name was Robert Paulson.
jack,
if you're so worried about injustice, why not use that law degree to actually help people? being an evil firm drone and living in a van down by the river are not the only two options.
I love Jack too. PLEASE keep u posted.
I love Jack too. PLEASE keep us posted.
I am Jack's self-important whining.
What if Jack just gave me his townhouse? That would make getting rid of his possessions much easier, and he wouldn't have to worry about all of that pesky cash that he'd have to give away from the sale.
well, I am very sure I could use one of those envelopes! preferably stuffed with hundreds! Yeah, he might be going crazy,but hopefully in a good way!?
Kelly in Ohio
Love to have hundreds...........with all the layoffs 20's would do.........
Love to have hundreds...........with all the layoffs 20's would do.........
Love to have hundreds...........with all the layoffs 20's would do.........
love the image.. very realistic.
Traktori
yes