Legal Eagle Wedding Watch 10.19-11.2: Twin Souls
We’re back with our second installment of the Legal Eagle Wedding Watch in as many days. Enjoy, and have a happy, happy Friday.
Behold, the most outstanding legal lovebirds from the past three weeks:
1. Brenda Zelin and Kyle Williams2. Alyssa Greenwald and Edward Wittenstein
Evaluate the worthiness of these couples, after the jump.
1. Brenda Zelin and Kyle Williams
(Buy them a roaster.)
The Case:
- This bride has an undergraduate degree from SUNY-Binghamton and a JD from Washington University in St. Louis. She is an associate in the New York office of Shearman & Sterling.
- Her groom graduated from California State Polytechnic University. He also has a law degree from Wash. U. and is an assistant general counsel at Goldman Sachs.
The Case Against:
- Brenda was a prospective student visiting Wash. U. when Kyle, an alumn who was there to talk about career opportunities, offered Brenda a different sort of “opportunity.” The alumn-macking-on-prospective dynamic has much potential for ickiness, but in this case they are close in age, so it’s merely a slightly odd story.
2. Alyssa Greenwald and Edward Wittenstein
(Buy them a soup bowl.)
The Case:
- Alyssa and Ted met as undergraduates at Yale (from which he graduated cum laude). Alyssa went on to get a JD from Duke and is now an associate in Kirkland’s DC office.
- Ted, who since graduating from Yale has apparently qualified as an expert on weapons of mass destruction, is a special assistant to Deputy Secretary of State John D. Negroponte.
- Article III officiant (but only a district judge).
The Case Against:
- White background + harsh lighting = unflattering photo. But you can positively gorge yourself on pictures of them here if you’re so inclined.
3. Erik Hyman and Max Mutchnick
The Case:
- This write-up was the Vows Column, so there’s lots to work with here. We love the story of their somewhat bumbling and awkward road to each other.
- Max, who describes himself as the Mel Brooks to Erik’s Anne Bancroft, was a creator and producer of “Will & Grace.” Erik is an associate at Loeb & Loeb and the former partner of the late Herb Ritts. He has degrees from the University of Michigan and Columbia Law School.
- Cute babies! Erik and Max are the parents of baby girls Rose and Evan. (More pictures here.)
The Case Against:
- However you feel about Prop 8, if you have even a sliver of empathy it should be painful to imagine how Max and Erik must feel this week.
4.
Jamie Bartholomew and Steven Aller
(Buy them a knife block.)
The Case:
- This bride was magna at Princeton and has a masters from Oxford and a JD from HLS. She’s an associate at Debevoise.
- Steve, also a Princeton grad, is studying for an MBA at MIT’s Sloan School of Management.
The Case Against:
- Egad, people! Unless Jamie really has glowing red eyes in person, this is another tragically unflattering photo. Please, the next time you get married, spring for a professional photographer.
The Verdict:
Team Hyman-Mutchnick! Because “Will & Grace” was a good show, those baby girls are super-cute, and LEWW loves love.
(76) 
Comments
first...and probably only one to respond
First to ask you to stop with the queer weddings. Marriage is between a man and a woman...just ask all of those crazy conservative Californians!
leww = lame
Couple 2 -- she works at Kirkland's TTT DC office; he's soon to be unemployed. Who cares!
#1 couple: the dude's head is twice the size of his wife's. That is a bad omen. (even forgetting the interracial thing)
the homos look creepy.
So which one of the dudes did those babies pop out of?
any s ct clerk news?
Another Hyman falls to marriage. Shocking.
any s ct clerk news?
Seriously, the guy's head in #1 is huge. Huge. I can't stop looking at it.
Thank god for Prop 8. Those poor babies. Hopefully my kids will beat up their kids some day.
11 -- that's what she said.
Can we look outside of the NYT for marriages? As a Midwesterner, I really don't care about the lives of upper-crust East Coast bluebloods. Sorry. If they're from Skokie or Palatine, I would be immediately more interested.
Jamie looks stoned to the bajesus belt.
Ha Ha, Twink Souls. Wait a minute. Thats gross.
Can we talk about the wrinkly, pasty skin that Jamie has? She looks like a gnawed-on rawhide chew. I was shocked when I read she was only 28. I would have pegged her at mid-forties.
The pictures of Erik and Max are so wonderful. Hopefully they are at least happy that they scheduled their wedding before the Prop 8 vote. I am very happy for them and their beautiful daughters.
Guy #1 went to Cal State Polytechnic, not Caltech. That's even worse than mixing up Penn State and Penn.
How did you miss out on this double JD from YLS: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/10/26/fashion/weddings/26randall.html? For shame.
They blinded me with gay science!
the face of the girl in #2 looks photoshopped on
I'm married to my job.
Why do the homos always win on this site? What is wrong with couple #4? They look like wonderful people.
Stay classy, Whales Vagina.
Look at the size of Kyle's head! It's like a melon on a toothpick. It is so big, I think it has its own moon!!!
14- half these people are Jews- hardly blueblood, more like nouveau riche
I knew Kyle at Wash U Law. Good guy - kind of quiet, hard worker who did not make waves.
# 27 - I hear that Kyle and Brenda went to the South Pacific for their honeymoon. I bet Kyle head made some waves when he jumped in the ocean!
Is Kyle's last name really Obamaheadishuge?
I heard the stingrays were terrified of Kyle on the honeymoon. Must have been that head in a wetsuit. ::shiver:: just had a visual.
Do jewish chicks give it up on their honeymoons if they didn't get everything they wanted on their wedding registry?
Yesterday there was someone I went to high school with. Today, college. Yay privileged East Coast upbringing!
14 - No. This is from the New York Times weddings, and peasants don't make it. What accident brought you to this website?
Also, if 19's assertion is true, I expect a retraction.
29 - I heard Obamaheadishuge is swahili for AHHHHHHHHHHH ITS GOING TO EAT US.
I don't think that Kyle's head is that big. Instead, I think he is just standing really close to the camera.
I went to law school with Jamie Bartholomew. She looks just like that in real life, too. What's really sad is that she was considered attractive among my class at HLS.
Dear #32 - Wash U Law is located in St. Louis. You are a moron.
Dear #32 - Wash U Law is located in St. Louis. You are a moron.
click click click .... Obamaheadishuge ..click click click
Dear #32 -- Waco Christian University of Texas Law School is located Waco. You are a moron.
Jamie Bartholojew is a lesbian.
I went to law school with Jamie Bartholomew. She looks just like that in real life, too. What's really sad is that she was considered attractive among my class at HLS.
the homos look like matching devils. too whack.
Why is Steve Aller marrying a 65 year old?
They are going to eat those babies! Somebody stop them. Where is Blade when you need him?
Yuck, yuck, yuck, and yuck.
Where are the attractive lawyers...oh yeah.
For all the hetero couples who can't get pregnant, feast your eyes on the two homos with not one, but two babies that will later need years of therapy. Awesome.
People never respect gays for their smarts, only for their looks. I guess one can infer that most gays are stupid. I think that was actually a question on the Texas bar exam.
How do daddy one and daddy two teach babies about the birds and the bees? You see, little one, when two bees love each other very much they donkey punch each other in the ass, that is how you arrived here, little one.
mmmmKay?
If there was ever a really good looking couple on LEWW, would their less than impressive credentials trump your double doctorates from Oxford couples who are godforsaken ugly? Where's the balance?
49 -- you need to educate yourself a little on "donkey punch." By definition it requires a hit to the back of the head, where the neck and skull meet. It is impossible, therefore, to "donkey punch each other in the ass."
49 - Actually, you don't donkey punch someone in the ass. Get your terms correct before you use it please. Consult urban dictionary for the proper definition as I'm certain that the punch is delivered to the back of the head. But thanks for playing.
Dear 51,
Props to you for your correction of 49 and your knowledge of sick and often humorous sexual lingo.
Regards,
52
*feels much better about self after looking at these ugly, ugly people*
-nervous T-10 1L
email job leads to nervoust101l@yahoo.com
49 needs a Cleveland Steamer to help him think straight.
My god, these are the most mean-spirited comments I've ever read.
I second # 20 -- and both the bride and the groom are among the nicest people I've met in a while. The NYT picture also unfortunately doesn't do Jaynie justice.
wasn't the LEWW criteria that both people had to be law school grads? that would have kept the creepy jewish homos out of this post
Steven's dad is an MD at Citigroup and Jamie's mom owns a bank. They win the family money contest.
Who cares about these people, anyway? Seriously. In almost every single instance, these couples are fairly unattractive. If I want to see ugly people, I'll just go walk outside.
Is it just me or is Alyssa (girl #2) very hot with awesome curves?
Hey donkey, I'm Mark Wahlberg.
61 - no, your vision is just significantly impaired. It says the bride is 27. She looks more like 47.
All of the people hating on couple 4 are just jealous of the clearly awesome lives that their little girls are going to have. Best schools, lots of travel and all of the designer purses their little hearts desire. I kind of want them to adopt me, but I am guessing they are not in the market for a 27-year old older sister for the twins. Mazel tov!
Jamie Bartholomew is the... Worst... Person... In the world!
xoxo,
Keith
If you're between 5-10 times hotter than the women in these pictures, I'll adopt you, 64.
ATL is covering all WUSTL weddings now?? Jebus.
Dear Ms. Lin,
The correct word is "empathy."
Sincerely,
Disgusted Reader
All these people are ugly! I go to a TTT and these people are hideous compared to my classmates. Of course, I won't be able to get a job, so there are tradeoffs.
This week's edition of ugly jews and homos in love. Nice.
You guys say Elie killed ATL... you hateful f**ks killed it. Who are you guys? Why don't you just walk into a volcano and die? Thanks.
Very truly yours,
Everyone Else on the Planet
"You guys say Elie killed ATL... you hateful f**ks killed it. Who are you guys? Why don't you just walk into a volcano and die? Thanks."
Co-signed.
Enough with the pro-gay marriage propaganda on this site already!!! The crude comments may be over the top, but seriously, are 25% of attorneys that get married gay men, or are you just trying to make your not so subtle political point?
Can't this kind of ugliness be kept in the shadows rather than serving as the topic of weekly posts? I could buy a couple of pet rats if I wanted to see this kind of thing.
Couple #1--I saw this movie before and it was first made in the 1930s, I didn't like it then, either. Thumbs down.
Couple #2--Nukes are fun, Yale is great, Duke not so much. Meeh.
Couple #3--Posing with babies thumbs up, but not enough to offset the horror of a Michigan degree. Thumbs down.
Couple #4--He looks like a guy who would let the girl carry him. Thumbs down.
The nuke couple by default.
"You guys say Elie killed ATL... you hateful f**ks killed it. Who are you guys? Why don't you just walk into a volcano and die? Thanks."
Co-Signed, with comment that Ellie is pretty damn hate-filled and probably stoking these baser instincts.