Legal Eagle Wedding Watch 11.16: Man in Lotion
LEWW had planned to bring you a dishy red-carpet post on last night’s Federalist Society bash, but it turned out that the festivities ended early and very un-festively.
We’re relieved to hear that Attorney General Mukasey appears to have made a speedy recovery and is already back at work. Given this good news, we think it’s appropriate to lighten the mood around here with some news from the weddings page.
Behold, this week’s couples:
1. Catherine Casteel and Peter Olasky
Read our expert analysis of these couples’ pedigrees, after the jump.
1. Catherine Casteel and Peter Olasky
(Buy them a wine stopper.)
The Case:
- Catherine, with a degree from the prestigious Parsons School of Design, is the decorative element in this union. She works in London at Colefax & Fowler, a design house that makes, among other things, luscious wallpaper.
- Peter, a well-compensated associate in Skadden’s London office, has an undergraduate degree from the University of Texas and a JD from Columbia.
- Peter is the son of Marvin Olasky, a former Jew/atheist/Communist who is now editor of the Christian magazine World and one of the philosophical architects behind George W. Bush’s Office of Faith-Based and Community Initiatives.
The Case Against:
- Papa Olasky gives off more than a whiff of nuttiness, having “attained brief mass-media notoriety when he was understood by many to have claimed that the 2000 John McCain candidacy was equivalent to a pagan religion of Zeus.”
- Catherine’s undergraduate alma mater is Auburn University, a school whose battle cry, “War Eagle,” is nonsensical and annoying. Battle cries should at a bare minimum contain an actual verb, preferably an imperative. Two good examples are “Go to Hell, Carolina” and “Roll Tide.”
2. Rebecca Brogan and Tyler Morse
(Buy them a pitcher.)
The Case:
- Rebecca was cum laude at Harvard and has a Georgetown JD. She was an associate at Davis Polk until July; the write-up doesn’t say what she’s doing now.
- Tyler — who we think looks like a hotter Drew Carey — graduated from Berkeley and has an MBA from Harvard. He is a former president of Bliss spa and beauty company, home of the “Youth as We Know It” moisturizer, “Glove Me Tender” hand cream, and other punnily named products. If you’re a gentleman looking for a holiday gift for your sister or secretary, LEWW warmly recommends something from Bliss (but steer clear of the “FatGirlSlim” anti-cellulite scrub).
The Case Against:
- They registered for a $700 vegetable dish. And someone took the bait!
3. Emily Lawson and Tom Amis
(Buy them a placemat.)
The Case:
- This bride has an undergraduate degree from the University of North Carolina, but she redeems herself somewhat with an MBA and a master’s in public administration from Harvard. She’s the founder and chief executive of DC Preparatory Academy, which operates three charter schools. LEWW simply adores ball-busting, school-reforming, education-policy prima donnas. We’re in a full swoon over Emily!
- The groom — who at 52 is 15 years older than the bride — is a partner at Alston & Bird, where he leads the renewable-energy practice. He has an undergraduate degree from Yale, a JD from Columbia, and some other fancy European degrees.
The Case Against:
- There’s something a little sad about a 52-year-old, divorced law firm partner registering for 95-cent juice glasses at Crate and Barrel with Wife Number Two. This is the couple that should be getting the $700 vegetable dish.
The Verdict:
This was an unexpectedly strong week, with each couple bringing something quirky and appealing to the competition. In the end, we think Team Lawson-Amis emerges victorious. Congratulations!
(75) 
Comments
Fail.
Couple #2 are easily the most racist looking couple I have ever seen, and I have seen a lot being that I am from Texas.
Heyyyy girls!!!!
I have an idea, lets go to Tasti-D-Lite, then swing on over to Magnolia's before hauling our fat assess over to Bliss so they can rub grease onto our spider-vained cellulite.
"This bride has an undergraduate degree from the University of North Carolina, but she redeems herself somewhat with an MBA and a master's in public administration from Harvard."
LIN, YOU ARE PATHETIC. I DID NOT ATTEND UNC, BUT I CAN TELL YOU IT IS AN EXCEPTIONAL SCHOOL THAT PLUCKS NATIONAL MERIT SCHOLARS FROM HYS WITH OFFERS OF FULL-TUITION SCHOLARSHIPS. INDEED, I ATTENDED A SIMILARLY SITUATED SCHOOL ON A FULL RIDE AND DECLINED HARVARD'S OFFER TO CONTRIBUTE TO ITS OVER-INFLATED ENDOWMENT.
GET A LIFE.
is that lawson and anus
First to cankle meet fankle
Dollars to doughnuts Elie gets invited.
Yes. Lawson indeed has an anus.
Apparently couple #2 are a whole heep of racist.
Why did Lawson marry her Dad?
It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.
- Battle cries should at a bare minimum contain an actual verb, preferably an imperative. Two good examples are 'Go to Hell, Carolina' and 'Roll Tide." -
Seriously?
these postings just get worse
UNC sucks my balls.
#3 because Amis's head is awesomely huge
fatgirlslim isn't a scrub, it's a cream.
Are beavers dangerous?
4, based on the fact she also referenced Duke's cheer, there's a chance she went to Duke and is not insulting UNC's academic reputation, just the fact that they hate them solely because of the basketball rivalry. Settle down.
When does ball copying begin.
Everybody get out of here quick, Buffalo Bill is here? He wants our lotiony skin!!!!!
Auburn is where the UGA and Tech rejects go from Atlanta.
Auburn is where the UGA and Tech rejects go from Atlanta.
"Rebecca was cum laude at Harvard and has a Georgetown JD. She was an associate at Davis Polk until July; the write-up doesn't say what she's doing now."
She's the wife of a rich guy now, so she doesn't have to work like all of us proles.
4, you must be talking about UVA. UNC is not bad if you're from North Carolina.
Note to Elie - I think Peter has other uses for his wine (read whine) stopper!!!!!
It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.
I agree w/ 4. Whatever the reason, there's no need for statements like that. Laurie, why not just say she went to UNC and leave it at that? Let people interpret it as they may.
-Another non-UNC grad
what, no over-produced gay couple and accompanying write-up about how fashion is their only contribution to society
Well, good luck to all the happy couples, but...
wasn't the whole purpose of a "registry" for gift-giving really meant to help the young, just-starting-out couple assemble what they would need for their household? Why would a certain couple on this list "need" anything, given financial resources, maturity, etc.?
Whatever happened to suggesting to your friends who want to give generously, that thanks, we have all the vegetable peeler/plates, bedsheets, comforters, etc., that we need, why not contribute to our favorite charities in our names since really, if we want more glasses, sheets, etc., we are more than capable of buying them ourselves?
UNC is a great school to attend regardless - but I can add that Emily Lawson was a Morehead Scholar there (she went to my high school and though she was several years older I remember her because she was very high achieving). Being a Morehead Scholar is akin to having an Ivy League degree, if we want to be obnoxiously elite about it.
A&B is a Washington firm? Even Elie would have known that isn't right. Way to go NYT!
Clear evidence of stealth layoffs at DPW going back to this summer!
UNC is a great school to attend regardless - but I can add that Emily Lawson was a Morehead Scholar there (she went to my high school and though she was several years older I remember her because she was very high achieving). Being a Morehead Scholar is akin to having an Ivy League degree, if we want to be obnoxiously elite about it.
Very true, 29.
Laurie, it's "War DAMN Eagle."
Laurie Lin went to Duke undergrad - hence the dig at UNC.
Wake up, trigtards.
HOLY SHIT couple #3 has a May-December thing going on.
And by the way, Duke sucks balls!
29 - there are people who will go ahead and donate to charities on the couple's behalf. But there are also a LOT of people who want to buy a thing, regardless of how well-established the couple is or isn't. Registries are a nice, non-heavyhanded way to say "okay, if you want to buy us stuff, have at." There are also people who want to buy stuff but don't want to be hemmed in by a registry. Everyone will do what they will regardless of instruction or urging to the contrary. Registries aren't guns couples point at their guests head to say "buy us this platter or else!!"
So save your righteous indignation for your own wedding, when I'm sure your guests will be delighted to be told you don't care for their taste in gifts and just want to better the world on their dime. Cheers!
32 - Very interesting take on the situation
"Being a Morehead Scholar is akin to having an Ivy League degree"
No, it's not. Nor is going to Stanford, or Oxbridge or any of the "seven sisters" or the "little ivies". And I have a degree from one of those and no Ivy degree.
It may be more or less prestigious, exclusive, challenging or rewarding, but it is NOT "akin to" an Ivy League degree simply b/c it is not common knowledge. Just like a Truman Scholarship, while of comparable (but somewhat lesser) exclusivity to a Rhodes Scholarship, it simply is not akin to Rhodes.
PS--if there aren't 3 w/ pictures, don't include 3. A picture is a non-negotiatble requirement.
I went to a state undergrad and work at Wachtell. Go fuck yourself.
39 - I went to Ohio State, which is clearly common knowledge. Am I an ivy-equivalent?
#2 is the winner. Rebecca was probably hot in law school--definitely the hottest thing at G'town. But definitely has that big law 'rode hard and put up wet' look hotties get from all that crappy food and no exercise.
Tom Amis is a total waste as an attorney and Peter better hope Skadden doesn't cut bonuses with a wife who is an interior design type. He will be shelling our $500 per yard for pillow covers and funding her antique store for the rest of his life with wife #1.
The fact that people continue to miss the fact that this whole column is toungue-in-cheek snarky--a complete rip on the snootiness and emptiness of the NYT weddings page--is amazing. Get in on the joke people! (But UNC does suck nonetheless. State schools are for the poors.)
Also: Elie is still a donut-hogging faTTTy who couldn't find relevant layoff/bonus news if it was sitting on top of a pile of mayonnaise-covered french fries.
Everybody really needs to wake up and realize that the Ivy League is an Athletic Conference and that alone does not make any of its members a great school. Until that becomes common knowledge however, people will still be awed by the "Ivy League." Obviously the Ivies are by and large top-notch schools. That has nothing to do with their sports conference though, nor does it mean that all non-Ivies are inferior.
UNC is for trolls and mouth-breathers.
Well said, 42. Personally, I don't think "Ivy League degree" has the cache it used to, considering the mediocrity of Penn State and the crapitude of Cornell. But having said that, you're right that some scholarship to a decent-but-not-outstanding state school like UNC is not comparable on the dinner-party-impressive scale.
Would I counsel my child to take a full ride to, say, UVA over paying full freight at Cornell? Probably. But I'd recognize that you ARE giving up *something* by not being able to attach the "Ivy League" moniker to your degree.
my cousin likes to brag that he went to a "public ivy" ... I just laugh at him.
Once again, the most unattractive people on the planet. This segment has to go. I don't give a rat's ass about ugly people in the legal community getting married.
"Registries are a nice, non-heavyhanded way to say "okay, if you want to buy us stuff, have at."...
"So save your righteous indignation for your own wedding, when I'm sure your guests will be delighted to be told you don't care for their taste in gifts and just want to better the world on their dime. Cheers!"
Um, and yes, "cheers" to you, 37, 'avin a pint at the pub, are you now?
Nothing about "righteous indignation" at the original post in 29...just an observation that wedding registries were originally set up to provide for the newly established households of the couple.
And quite frankly, just because your guests might prefer to purchase a tangible gift on the occasion of your wedding, in lieu of a comparable donation to a charitable cause, does not mean that you need set up a registry at a department store with items such as pricey vegetable plates.
45 - You have mistaken Duke for UNC.
UNC is one of the best public schools in the nation to get an undergraduate education. It's also only about $5,000 a year in tuition for an in-state student. Seems like a smart choice to me.
Penn State is the only Ivy League school to ever appear in the BCS.
"There's something a little sad about a 52-year-old, divorced law firm partner registering for 95-cent juice glasses at Crate and Barrel with Wife Number Two."
Why is Tom working at a divorced law firm?
I can't believe this group. Not a Jew, Asian or other minotiry in the group (unless you include Cjrostians from Texas).
What's up with this, bro?
And shouldn't 52 yo divorced partners be banging on cute young thangs, not 37 year olds?
#3 will stay married forever because they look alike.
Kudos to couple #3 for not going overboard with their registry and actually getting reasonably priced stuff that they'll use regularly. That $700 vegetable dish (and the other crap on #2's registry) is ridiculous -- seriously, I would be scared to use something that expensive.
Only Ivies = Ivies. You'd have to go to UNC to believe otherwise.
Unless you went to HYP, going to an Ivy League ugrad isn't that impressive. This is especially true for the non-A&S schools at the Ivies (Wharton being the notable exception). No one, except maybe that guy on the Office, is impressed with your Cornell Hotel School or Agriculture degree.
Unless you went to YLS, HLS, or to a lesser extent CLS, going to an Ivy League law school isn't that impressive. Not a huge surprise that Cornell and Penn can't stop trumpeting their Ivy status in a lame attempt to associate themselves with the others. Sorry, but we're not fooled and you need to get over your rejection / inferiority complex.
GO TO HELL CAROLINA GO TO HELL
the first group of this where i thought all three couples were great, and wish them well
good job (as always) Mr Lat!
the first group of this where i thought all three couples were great, and wish them well
good job (as always) Mr Lat!
i went to quinsigamond community college, everyone in worcester MA knows that is akin to a junior ivy.
Do people really not understand the difference between Penn State and University of Pennsylvania? Hint: Only one is in the Ivy League, and it isn't Penn State. Yes, UPenn is often considered the red-headed stepchild of the Ivy League, but it's still better than Penn State. (Or perhaps I'm missing yet another repeat in-joke).
Guys at my high school used to confuse Penn State and UPenn all the time, it was no big deal.
Please call the renowned physical anthropology department at Penn State. Something historic is happening with the heads of couple 3. Either Tom is descended from Ichabod Crane's pumpkin-headed tormentor, or Emily was captured and held against her will by a colony of head-shrinking natives from Papua New Guinea. Or perhaps both are true.
The picture is obviously photo-shopped.
Brogan is definitely the hottest. Morse is sexy in a professorial way. Definitely best educated and best looking of the three couples.
Lawson and Amis just seem creepy--her head was shrunk by pygmies!
Rebecca looks naughty. I would definitely like to get schooled by her...
63 - yes, you are missing yet another repeat in-joke. Welcome to the program.
Agree with 65. Went to g-town with rebeccs. Def the hottest/almost smarted girl in the class.
Lawson looks like someone dropped her as a baby.
UNC is a damn fine school. There is no need for that type of disrespect.
More-Head scholar
sounds like a good line to use in a rap song
give good head like ya graduated from a good skoo
#26,
nice silence of of the lambs reference.
Ugh. I can't believe this last one, this guy is gross, just an ancient fossil. And, as others have commented, it does look like head has been shrunken, which doesn't help matters.
Finally someone I know... I worked at DPW with Rebecca. I didn't know her well, but always thought she seemed pretty perfect -- funny to hear her knocked on here. She definitely quit, wasn't fired. Everyone was really shocked.
@4, 29, et al.
Would you feel stupid if you knew that Laurie went to Duke and is genetically unable to resist taking cheap shots at UNC's expense?
She did.
You should.
The bride is beautiful, talented and too young for the groom!! Not to mention, as has been above, the size of his head? WHAT was she thinking?
By the way, UNC is an excellent school, and being a Morehead Scholar is a great honor! I'm sure she could have gone anywhere!
She "outranks" him in every way. So sad . . . .