Second... ? (sad face)

Third! Where is everyone...

S&C just announced bonuses! They are going back to 1907 rates (a nickel, a moon pie, and a pinch of cocaine)

Government Lawyer - Reporting for duty on the Friday after Thanksgiving. I may be an agnostic but working Christamas Eve and the Day after Christmas? WTF? Stupid feds. But at least I have job security. Suck it Biglaw drones.

isn't today a regular working day? Or am I the only Skadden-Mart associate around?

#4 your really can't put a price on a good moonpie

5- I am leisurely working at home in my robe watching TV, earning 5X your salary. Enjoy your crappy offices.

7:

I am thrilled to hear another voice from the south on this dadgum site. Yankees just don't understand the cultural value (and mighty fine taste) of the moon pie.

9: Im from NJ, but the best ones I've ever had were actually in Maine. But Maine is a bit of an anomaly in the NE

Maine is where I met my second wife.

Get back to work Elie!

so now we're recycling links from previous days? oy vey.

8 - I may have a crappy office but I have job security. It would take ten of your hookers and 3X the size the pile of blow currently on your coffee table to fire me. Enjoy your firm's dissolution.

I would like to know how much Elie ate for thanksgiving

Oh snap! BIGLAWYERS and BIGGOVERNMENTLAWYERS disagree about each others' choices! DAYUM!

4: Preposterous! Everyone knows that Moon Pies were first made by the Chattanooga Bakery in 1917 as a popular snack for Appalachian coal miners.

S&C only instituted the Moon Pie bonus policy in 1921 upon realizing that the lives of their associates were about as valuable as those of said coal miners.

8 and 14:

this debate does have a resolution. Biglaw and USAOs pull from the same t14 candidate pool, and yet AUSAs consistently report much higher job satisfaction than Biglawyers.

Of course, if money is what drives you, then you'd be happier at Biglaw. But most people, as evidenced by the job-satisfaction surveys, derive their happiness from a variety of factors in addition to money.

So, 8, while you personally may be happier at a big firm, most similarly-credentialed lawyers are happier at USAOs.

#4, I would probably accept that for a bonus, but only if it were way more than "a pinch." Wonder if biglaw firms could get a bulk rate?

18-

I appreciate your efforts at bridging the divide.

However, I and almost everyone I know, would be loathe to give up our high-end escorts, swanky condos, sports cars, and mountains of blow for a little more job security.

Is a little more security worth porking fat walmart cashiers, cruddy walkups w/ chipped formica counters, a 1987 Chevy Cavalier, and getting loaded up on cases of Natural Light?

I would rather die.

-8

Natty Light Rules. But PBR is sweeter.

Head for the Mountains or for the High Life and give your beer a chance to become your urine.

Ole Miss law has hot women that love to bang....

worth the TTT rating

21- I don't think I'm "authentic" enough to drink PBR. For a non-"billyburg" person, best to stick the golden Champale!

23 Old Milwaukee? Schlitz? Genesse Cream Ale?

The Highlife: the Champaigne of Beers
(Champale)

The Highlife: the Champaigne of Beers
(Champale)

ATL's editorial board is comprised of the most laziest motherfuckers. So much shit has gone down today and fat ol' MystTTTal is just gobblin TTTurkey to make his ass even faTTTer. Wake the fuck up dude and do your fucking job.

wgwag

well, what has gone down today!?!?

There's a super cool band here with their Trillbys and their glasses of white wine. And all the weekend rockstars are in the toilets practising their lines.

LOL @ 27 misusing 'comprised.' what a ttt

Truck Nutz.

1,

You're an idiot. There are a huge number of cases where the potential judgment is less than the cost of defense or where the potential recovery is sufficiently small that a lawyer won't take the plaintiff's case even though it's still a worthwhile case.

Hopefully if courts become overwhelmed with middle class know-nothings, they will reduce some of the costs associated with litigation (i.e. the endless lifetime of cases, etc.). I realize it's heretical for a lawyer like me to say such things, but oh well, suck it MysTTTal.

33,

I don't know what a court could ever do to make it worth anyone's time to litigate a property-damage claim where $1000 is at stake. I get these calls all the time arising from car accidents. I do tell people they can use the small-claims court themselves, but who knows if they ever follow up on that.

TRUCK NUTZ!

24, Genesse Cream Ale is TCR. Not sure what the price is now, but that stuff went for $8.99/30 pack just a few years ago.

Beast Lite baby. 8.99 for a thirty at Shop-Rite liquors just a 10 minute drive from the Princeton campus. Good times.

28 wins, as did everyone who referenced the Champagne of Beers. Thread over.

NY to $190k!!!!

Do a lot of BIGLAW lawyers do blow? Seriously.

omg, we need more bonus news. S&C and/or DPW better announce on Monday!

Does anyone else ever wonder what Barney's cock looks like?

ELIE MYSTTTAL = FAT FUCK. That is all.

43: I'm a fat fuck and I'm also a fucking genius. Try a different tack.

Good question asked by 40. Any takers?

To paraphrase Philip Roth in his literary exposition of the complaints of one Portnoy, Ellie, we ‘love’ you like a liver in the frig—not because of any particular satisfaction, but because you are there.

As to 40, 45: No one of any consequence has done "blow" since the early 80"s.

I would do blow if I was cool enough to know where to get some.

Apparently Judge Sacco is not familiar with the eighth amendment.

40: no.

Worst. Blog. Ever.

40 - been at a V5 for a summer and 2+ years now. Saw one person that looked suspicious (red nostrils, kinda jumpy), but otherwise no contact with blow. Maybe I'd see more if I socialized outside of work... but mostly I think it a myth.

My gf, also an associate, just received (5 minutes ago) an email "to be sure" to be at work tomorrow. She wasn't planning to be out.

Nervous T21 3L Rich Kid here.

If the only job I have offered is one at a struggling firm, is it worth going to MBA school to ride this economic downturn out? Will MBA school make me look unappealing to the recruiting people at BIGLAW P.C.? Should I say fuck law firms for a few years and go back to bartending and stealing money out of my father's wallet?

Should I build a baseball field at my parent's ranch like I always wanted and wait for Shoeless Joe?

Please help.

Nervous T21 3L Rich Kid

If you build it, he will teach you how to use apostrophes.

I would not even go to your stupid "meet the editors of ATL" night if it would cure my herpes.

53-- You are taking a bit of a gamble either way. If you go to business school for an MBA, you had better hope that the market improves a lot by the time you get out. If it doesn't and either your firm crashes or takes the excuse to give you the boot, you will be a post 3L with no experience and will be pretty much untouchable.

But, if you do go to the dying firm and the economy recovers either the firm will survive or you would hopefully have some experience under your belt and would be able to find a new home. I haven't dealt with too many MBAs, but I don't think they hurt or help very much. So, if you just want to buy time that may be a good way. But, someone with greater knowedge of recruiting may correct me.

So, since we helped you, which dying firm did you get an offer from? Was it Freid Frank? Greenberg? Kaye Scholer? Thatcher Proffit? Cadwalader?

32 and 35 are obviously DC gossip blog moles and were therefore unappreciated for the genius of Truck Nutz. My only question is why our friendly STB parnter (39) isn't identifying himself/herself as such anymore? Dude, keep spreading the good news, and um, can I borrow $25K...

In honor of the official death of Thelen at the end of today, I, former Thelen partner Glass Cock went to the old office one last time to read ATL, pack up my left-behind baseball bat and duck doll and rub one out while staring at that hot picture of Kash. I am sorry that the janitorial staff will have to pick up all the glass shards that result from the Glass Cock busting his glass nuts.

But with that, the lights are off, forever, at Thelen.

RIP.

Glass Cock, out.

MAIL MERGE IS GOING OUT IN A FEW HOURS!!!!

this is the moment we've all been waiting for...

-nervous T-10 1L
email job leads to nervoust101l@yahoo.com

Elie is the FATTTESTTT of the FATTT FUCKS.

over-under on poundage elie gained over thanksgiving: 12

56---One of those you named. Sorry, I am not going to totally give myself away. Thanks for the advice though. I am leaning towards the MBA.

Nervous T21 3L Rich Kid

Always more money over the holiday period here.