firsty

firstttttttttttttttttyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Lat --

You want to hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better – I'm an easy target. Yeah, you're right: I talk too much; I also listen too much. I could be a cold-hearted cynic like you, but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. You think what you want about me, I'm not changing. I like me, my wife likes me, my customers like me, because I'm the real article: what you see is what you get.

PPP up, associate bonuses down!! go Quinn!!

firstttttttttttttttttyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

As a client of BigLaw, I can't help but feel ripped off by any associate who bills 2500 hours a year. As a former "BigLawyer" I know those hours are padded and can't help but wonder whether those folks actually believe they are performin a service to clients.

As a client of BigLaw, I can't help but feel ripped off by any associate who bills 2500 hours a year. As a former "BigLawyer" I know those hours are padded and can't help but wonder whether those folks actually believe they are performin a service to clients.

why is quinn so unselective/ at least at my top 10, the avg gpa of those who got oci interviews was way BELOW MOFO and about the same as king&spalding, and just a couple notches above jones day.

oozes with prestige!? nope. i always thought quinn was more selective.

9-

We will hire ANYONE from Harvard.

First to say that anyone's who billing 2300+ hours in order to get an extra 20-40k is an a$$hat. Dumb allocation of time and resources.

Wow, Q&E is practically begging its associates to inflate their hours. I'd be mad if I were a client and saw this.

10 - apparently. but that's my question -- is quinn at all prestigious? i wouldn't think so, but people on atl act like they are (they couldn't wait for quinn bonuses to be announced, as if they were wlrk's peer firm!).

i rank them along w/ k&s and jones day. big deal.

How did the tipster in the top bracket ( above 2800) even have time to write that email?

2800 hours is ~54 hours of billable time a week.

#8: As a BigLawyer, I agree. There are a handful of people (outside of NYC associates) at each firm who will be above 2400 with legitimate work. Others at that rate are either padding hours OR are doing work that should be done by junior associates or staff attorneys. Some people get insanely busy for a year. If your whole firm is insanely busy, you need to hire more people. Or let doc review be done by other people.

13,

Quinn Emanuel isn't prestigious. Not by a long shot. It is one step above an insurance defense firm.

But it does offer jobs and bonuses. Be happy with that.

yes Quinn is a cheap a$$ firm. go there if you want to work like a dog, get paid the lowest bonus the market will bear, and quibble over expense reimbursement.

The "top tranche" person must be a PR hack.

Why would anyone at Quinn be happy with this bonus?

They are an all-litigation shop with $3M PPP.

They are going the hours-based route, but lag OMM and Orrick, even though those firms are half as profitable. And KE will likely blow these figures away at a far lower PPP number.

The rule: If you're going hours-based, go big.

Why would somebody billing well over 2500 hours be content with this, given the firm's profitability and lack of any finance practice?

The first QE associate is an unmitigated ass kisser. This is an "(unfortunately) bad year?" Bull. Shit. Wait until PPP comes out. $3mm will seem like chump change and the partners will laugh (again) all the way to the bank.

7/8 - perhaps there is some padding at most firms, perhaps at quinn, but that's a big assumption. quinn lawyers are usually too busy to worry about hours.

11 - no one billed 2300 + for an extra bonus. This scheme was announced today. the last time extra bonuses (for extra billable hours) were discussed, we were told that the partners didn't want us to bill a ton of hours and would prefer that we have as balanced a life as possible (under the circumstance, of course). they realize that billing a ton of hours leads to burnout which leads to lesser quality work. so your theory is not sound.

the problem with quinn is that it's a one-guy show, like boies. once the founder dies, the firms dies. they haven't been "institutionalized" like munger, williams, kellogg, and a few other lit boutiques.

Generally agree with 8. With very few exceptions, associates who are billing more than 2300 hours are not working efficiently, not providing the quality of service to justify their billing rates and may very well be lying. Q&E's system is essentially an invitation to rip off clients.

"they realize that billing a ton of hours leads to burnout which leads to lesser quality work. so your theory is not sound."

I'd say many partners realize that burnout leads to attrition which leads to a new cycle of recruitment of new suckers. The trick is, for partners, anyway, is to fire those who are starting to show "lesser quality work" before it impacts the bottom line. Attrition should do the rest for the firm's bottom line.

The "top tranche" person must be a PR hack.

Why would anyone at Quinn be happy with this bonus?

They are an all-litigation shop with $3M PPP.

They are going the hours-based route, but lag OMM and Orrick, even though those firms are half as profitable. And KE will likely blow these figures away at a far lower PPP number.

The rule: If you're going hours-based, go big.

Why would somebody billing well over 2500 hours be content with this, given the firm's profitability and lack of any finance practice?

"None of this is surprising though, as Quinn **will pay the least amount that they can get away with.** And they will get away with this."

Shocking. Have you ever seen one of these?

http://ingrimayne.com/econ/DemandSupply/SupEtDemand.html

Quinn's "prestige" is smoke and mirrors. It wasn't all that selective 9 years ago and it's not selective now, provided you go to a good school. They also don't give a lot of their associates the awesome experience that they say they do, and are aggressive and annoying as adverse litigants. Not one of my favorite firms.

I would be pissed if I billed 2090 and got a quarter-Skadden!

John B. Quinn should be embarrassed by that email. Is it really too much to ask that a lawyer use complete sentences, proper capitalization and punctuation, and spell check?

28 - at some point, maybe 2090, maybe 2095, it doesn't say, the associate gets a 2100 level bonus. read the email.

seriously Elie is such a biased asshole. Quinn requires 2100+ to get Cravath, DPW, et al bonuses (firms that dont have any hours requirements) and then offer higher to extraordinary hours workers...and they are given a positive spin by Elie.

Cravath could give out gold bars to its associates and Elie's fat ass would post something like "Cravath refuses to give Platinum to associates for Christmas."

Robin: "Gosh, Batman, this camel grass juice is great."
Batman: "Beware of strong stimulants, Robin."

These numbers are embarassing! Requiring 2100 to get the NY "market" bonus? If you have any options at all, why would you work at this place?

29 - who cares? what are you, a school marm? i'm sure his letters and briefs are grammatically and stylistically proper. who gives a rat's ass how he address the lawyers of his INFORMAL firm. Go suck some mahogany wall.

Lat is such a better writer than MysTTTal.

20-

I wrote the initial email. Re-read it. I didn't say this was a bad year for the firm; I said it was a bad year for California associates to have their compensation keyed to New York.

Lat is such a better writer than MysTTTal.

Unbelievable that Quinn couldn't match Skadden. Un. Fcking. Believable.

A Skadden associate at my level has more prestige, can work a lot less hours and have a better quality of life, and make as much money or more.

This is bullshit.

What is shocking to me is that someone could bill 2500 hours at Quinn and still get a smaller bonus than someone who billed 1600 hours at Skadden.

38,

In what world is Quinn Emanuel a match to Skadden?

In my world, the sky is blue. What color is the sky in yours?

::boggles::

40:

I'm a barbie girl, livin' in a barbie world... life in plastic, it's fantastic!

40:

I'm a barbie girl, livin' in a barbie world... life in plastic, it's fantastic!

lawyers are hliarious. especially when they don't know how to use capital letter.

40 - Quinn defeated Skadden in a number of matters this year (and vice versa). The two firms go up against each other all the time. And just watch PPP this year. I guarantee Quinn posts higher numbers.

Way to FAIL 31. This article was posted by Lat, not Elie.

"lawyers are hliarious. especially when they don't know how to use capital letter."

Or singular versus plural.

38 is the biggest skadden troll of all time.

38 is the biggest skadden troll of all time.

So a MoFo or Orrick associate at 2100 is getting what a Quinn associate at 2800 is getting? Can someone tell me if that is correct?

Having a scale that goes to =>2800 is obnoxious. Quinn associates should take a dump in their trash cans and go home to have a good cry.

So a Mofo or Orrick associate at 2100 is getting what a Quinn associate at 2800 is getting? Can someone tell me if this is correct?

Just having a scale that goes to =>2800 is obnoxious.

Quinn's a dumping ground for shitheads. Every student in my class working for Quinn next year is a douchebag fuck. They deserve to work their assess off for sub-par bonuses.

51 - yes, it is easy to tell that you are a classy, civil person with a good heart. See, e.g., your post ("shitheads," "douchebag fuck"). Well done. Perhaps we take your assessment with a grain of salt.

Why would anyone choose to work at Quinn after this bullshit bonus? They had the 5th highest ppp last year and can't even match Skadden. Quinn should be embarrassed, although at the end of the day it's more $ in his pocket, so he probably doesn't give a shit!

29, 46-

john quinn has the largest collection of e.e. cummings memorabilia outside of belgium. capitalization often adds little value. think about how much time quinn saves by avoiding the shift key. if every lawyer (who could get away with it) did that, that adds up to more high-end billables and even more leisure time. the other day i was...downtown...having some work done...and i kept thinking how many hours, years, lifetimes i have spent capitalizing my emails and informal memoranda. lifetimes! consumed! then i took off all my clothes in a deposition in milwaukee

john quinn wasn't even brave enough to send this bullshit bonus announcement himself, as he has done every other year. shame!

Did the ass-hat that wrote the bonus memo actually sign his own name with an Esq? That's classy.

40: They are a match in the only thing that should matter when you consider what you should pay associates: PPP.

29, 46-

john quinn has the largest collection of e.e. cummings memorabilia outside of belgium. capitalization often adds little value. think about how much time quinn saves by avoiding the shift key. if every lawyer (who could get away with it) did that, that adds up to more high-end billables and even more leisure time. the other day i was...downtown...having some work done...and i kept thinking how many hours, years, lifetimes i have spent capitalizing my emails and informal memoranda. lifetimes! consumed! then i took off all my clothes in a deposition in milwaukee

CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP

First tipster, YOU are a douche!

55 - the caps lock key was stuck on his keyboard.

29, 46-

john quinn has the largest collection of e.e. cummings memorabilia outside of belgium. capitalization often adds little value. think about how much time quinn saves by avoiding the shift key. if every lawyer (who could get away with it) did that, that adds up to more high-end billables and even more leisure time. the other day i was...downtown...having some work done...and i kept thinking how many hours, years, lifetimes i have spent capitalizing my emails and informal memoranda. lifetimes! consumed! then i took off all my clothes in a deposition in milwaukee

54 - your references are either too hip or stupid for me. I get the ee cummings reference, but that's it. ". . . downtown . . . "? does that mean you were visiting a whorehouse? I don't get it. Some Adam Sandler movie? Oh well.

The incremental bonus $$$ being paid for the extra hours is ludicrous. Compare it to what QE is raking in for those hours based on your hourly rate. Ooops. Gotta run. My margarita is starting to melt.

Good for Quinn. Paying the elite AND productive extra makes sense. Those who suck at life and work (and thus have time to post obsessively on the internets all day) must be disappointed.

56 - what's wrong with esq.?

66 - if you haven't spotted the sucker within the first half hour, then you are the sucker.

63, Michael Clayton. Good guess about the whorehouse. Have you been living under a rock? Go to the movies sometime. 56 isn't exactly Dennis Miller, but that wasn't too bad.

66, you only use it when referring to another lawyer. Never to yourself. Unless you're a douche or a westlaw representative.

63, Michael Clayton. Good guess about the whorehouse. Have you been living under a rock? Go to the movies sometime. 54 isn't exactly Dennis Miller, but that wasn't too bad.

john quinn wasn't even brave enough to send this bullshit bonus announcement himself, as he has done every other year. shame!

2400 hours are needed to get just a little bit *less* than what a skadden guy gets for just 1600 hours? shame!

"I'm in the top tranche!"

This sucks so much that it actually loops back around and almost borders on awesome.

I'm confused. Does the class of 2008 have to bill 2000-2099 hours to get the $2500 bonus? Because that's a lot of hours for a stub year. Just saying.

There is a partner at QE in NYC who looks EXACLTY like Al PAchino in Devil's Advocate.

I think he does IP lit.

54, 58, 62 = 68, 70

70 - i saw michael clayton, and enjoyed it. oh well, i guess i pay attention to plot, characters and acting rather than searching for a catchphrase to dump on an anonymous chat room devoted to whiny associates. my life has been wasted . . .

64 - full credit

74:

Ed's a cool guy. Drinks more than Al too.

WTF

How can the "top tranche" loser say that there was lots of work, when John Quinn himself admits in his memo that things slowed down in the second half of the year?

That asshat deserves the no-life he has at Quinn.

What I don't get, reading all these comments, is why you guys are whining about associate bonuses -- make Partner. It's that simple. Why do you care about a pathetic 20 to 30k difference? You will be making millions in the future and it is all childs play (not that millions is even "real money" anyways), but still, it is entirely groveling and pathetic for you guys to even care, as long as you can make partner.

Learn to delayed gratification.

74 - Seemed like a bit of a prick when he interviewed me for a lateral spot (Berdon seemed cool though). Was typing the whole time and occasionally looking up at me, didn't even really try to converse.

I have no beef with QE generally but that guy creeped me out.

76, this isn't a chat room. Are we in a live chat? Perhaps your life is being wasted on an anonymous comments board, discussing the bonus approach of a Los Angeles-based law firm.

Now go back to work. I hit my targets. I'm going out to buy an expensive car.

80 - Thats just silly.

1. We are all aware that the great majority of us will not make parter, whether because we can't or because we don't want to work that hard forever. So we may as well make $$ now.

2. Even if we DO make partner some day, its nice to have $$ now too.

3. Making more $$ now does not decrease our chances of making partner later, so "delayed gratification" does not really apply here.

81 - fairly indiscrete of you to diss a partner like that so publicly. You never know with whom you will work in the future. Pretty dumb.

- E.

80 - Thats just silly.

1. We are all aware that the great majority of us will not make parter, whether because we can't or because we don't want to work that hard forever. So we may as well make $$ now.

2. Even if we DO make partner some day, its nice to have $$ now too.

3. Making more $$ now does not decrease our chances of making partner later, so "delayed gratification" does not really apply here.

80 - Thats just silly.

1. We are all aware that the great majority of us will not make parter, whether because we can't or because we don't want to work that hard forever. So we may as well make $$ now.

2. Even if we DO make partner some day, its nice to have $$ now too.

3. Making more $$ now does not decrease our chances of making partner later, so "delayed gratification" does not really apply here.

Whoa!!! 84 had the balls to use an initial when signing his post!

Take a hike, E.

QUINN EMANUEL TO SWEATSHOP LABOR.

82 - wtf is the difference between a chat room and this comment board? fail. epic fail.

btw, i did make my hours, and then some. i did just fine thanks. epic fail. epic fail.

god, when did i become an asinine teenager?

84 (really E? who knows)

Was long enough ago I would be shocked if he remembered me, let alone was able to figure out who I was via anonymous post, but point taken. -81

74, etc -- That's just how Ed does things. He's actually quite genial, but endlessly distracted. If you're working under him, you're working endlessly, but he's actually nice about it (and complimentary for jobs well done). Overall, I'd take Ed (distracted but genial, and not a backstabber) over certain other scary-as-hell partners in the NYO.

Well, I hope Quinn is happy. I'm not billing one fucking hour over the minimum required for bonus next year.

These seem totally shitty. If I am an '03 and I bill 2300 hours, I get a 27.5K bonus? That totally sucks. What a craphole.

89, Asinine is forever. So is "stupid." You doth protest too much. You did not make your hours because they don't give you the important stuff.

A chat room is live and interactive. I could smack your small brain around in real time with a chat room.

My assistant just popped in. My town car is ready to drive me to the Beamer dealership on the West Side. You have a Merry Christmas. Sorry about the hours. And puberty is temporary. Remember, these changes in your body may be confusing but it's all a part of growing up. Menstruation is frightening at first, but remember, you aren't going to bleed to death or anything.

Hey I have a substantive question -- anyone which QE offices are "more slow" than others? Is it still just NorCal offices lagging, or has LAO also fallen behind? Or has NYO actually gotten slower?

Embarassing. Those tools at QE think they are such bad-asses. I hope Latham and QE have a combined "chip removal" party where they can all brag to each other about how great they used to think their firms were.

91 - Quite possible, but since we have to make job decisions based on short exposures to future coworkers, we have to decide based on the info we have.

A partner may the the best dude on the planet once you get to know him.

But if they don't pay you any mind during the interview, and that is all you have to go on, it is easy to imagine things only getting worse when they are your boss + paying you. -74 etc

95- L.A. is slow too. Unusually slow for us. I have spent the last three weeks taking longer than usual lunches.

Pretty disappointing that they let OMM beat them.

-80 Here

-83, I just don't get it. Why the hell would you even be a litigator if this is not your obsession? Who the hell would plan on "not making partner"? Why wouldn't you want to get to the top? I just clearly don't get it. Why go half-way? It's maddening.

Granted, I am a paralegal (saving up for Law school), but I love this stuff, this is my obsession. I routinely work 50-60+ hour weeks and I do not mind it at all but the only reasons I do not mind it are 1) Because I will make partner, preferably at a hardcore litigation shop like QE, Kirkland, Jones Day, etc. and 2) Because I love this more than anything else in the world.

I guess I do not get how anyone in the world could settle for not making partner, or for being an associate, then going in-house, and settling down. It looks like accepting mediocrity.

94: so is it normal for a boy my age to be molested by your father? btw, I did make my hours and a substantial amount more. How's that trip to the island of conclusions?

98 -- I was concerned about that -- given the economy, not a great time for Parmalat, MGA, etc to all wrap up at once.

at least my work helped someone get another diamond and platinum croaky. i hope someone appreciates the month of my life that paid for the monogramming on the croaky.

100 -

Ahhhhh, still a paralegal. You are going to be the most annoying 1L ever.

Good luck, hope the enthusiasm lasts!

Half-way still pays pretty good, and there are a lot of other post-Biglaw jobs out there that also pay well but don't require nearly the sacrafice in social and family time.

-83

whatever, losers. I'm sure you all worked hard to get where you are and deserve to be there, but what kind of shithead complains about not getting 15% more of a bonus when making multiple six figures? (I have massive debt too, so I get that, don't worry.) Look at this and then shut up and buy your new car and stop complaining and be thankful you are employed: http://www.bizjournals.com/dallas/stories/2008/12/15/daily36.html

100 - I hear you. All I know is that I felt just the same way prior to, during, and even after law school for the first couple of years. But being a lit partner isn't just about litigating; it's about schmoozing gen counsels to drum up business, putting together powerpoints to try to get hired on a particular matter, sorting through bills to determine whether your associates have been inflating their hours before you send bills onto the client, and doing all sorts of other, non-legal tasks. The thrill of competition is still there, but it's significantly attenuated by middle-management-type tasks. If you have a family you want to spend time with, it's not crazy to "settle." To put it another way, accepting "mediocrity" in your work life (if one accepts your premise, which I agree is plausible, although there are counterarguments) does NOT equate to accepting "mediocrity" in your life itself: e.g., you can be one hell of a lit partner and one hell of a crappy absentee father.

104 =) Thanks for the well wishing and I probably am going to be the most obnoxious 1L the world has ever known.

7/8: hire me. I'm BigLawyer and I'll give you a fixed fee (no billables) that you'll be happy with (seriously).

quinn has some pr person acting as a "tipster" and posting in the comments. this thread proves it.

but you can't fool all the people all the time.

100, many lawyers are liberal arts graduates who could not get a real job after college so they decided to go to law school. They have no passion for law and only work in Biglaw (the default choice for students who are incapable of risk-taking or independent thought) so that they can pay off their law school loans. In other words, they go into debt for three years, spend about ten years paying back that debt, and thus 13 years later they are back to where they started before law school. They do have a JD degree, but at that point they usually quit the practice of law altogether which means that the degree is not very useful.
At least they get to dine on $30 meals off Seamlessweb, brag to friends that they're (one of 20 associates) working on multi-billion dollar headline deals or cases, and tell laymen that they used to work at a prestigious law firm, whose name actually is completely unknown outside the legal industry.

110 - hahhaa, funny because it's true.

people who are billing 2300 are likely NOT taking vacations AND working 5-10 hours each weekend - hardly an indication of padding.

these people are generally in demand and those will lower hours are those who post shit on websites claiming that "no...its NOT that I suck....it is that someone is cheating...yeah....that's it...they MUST cheat....sure I take vacations and never work weekends....but NO ONE could actually work on weekends, right>?????"

face it, in the game of life, most of you lost a long time ago and are just now realizing it...

101, hard to pst this frm my iPhone. but my dad was too busy with your older, more attractive sister, 94.

109, i may not b the pr person but i could fool 101 from now until eternity

100 here

106, 110, two good perspectives, good to hear them, thanks.

112, in the game of life, I would think that among associates who are generally paid a flat salary (+/- 10%), those who are enjoying life and aren't working on the weekends are winning.

It appears that Mr. Quinn is channelling ee cummings

91 who is best to be avoided?

64 - full credit

115, those making millions have won. trust me, you lost a long, long time ago. of this, i am sure.

119 - If you have to work at all your family lost a long long long time ago, of this I am sure.

Looks like the bonus difference between, say, 2100 hours and 2550 hour is in $25-35/hr range, depending on the class year. I can't see how the lifestyle difference between those hours is worth the extra cash. Nor can I see how QE associates would see that as fair when they are probably billing $300-$450/hr for that time, which is pure profit to QE by that point.

112/115, by "won" you mean like this winner who was making millions?

http://blogs.wsj.com/law/2006/03/07/law-blog-flashback-the-1992-death-of-cravath-partner-david-schwartz/

116, please skim the thread before you post. We've already been through one round of stupidity on that.

So what's the real deal with quinn? Cut the BS. If I want to litigate in SF or LA is it worth going there over Latham or Gibson? Do young associates do more or less doc review at Quinn than the other big CA firms?

117 -- I was speaking more in generalities (and am mindful of the same concern expressed in 84). There are a great number of nice and approachable partners in NYO. I have, ahem, "heard" some disturbing things about working for certain 2006 laterals, however, who may or may not have come from a firm that is large, international, and contains a color in its name.

-91

So it looks like Quinn screwed the average associate. Latham screwed all associates. Where the hell does one go to work in CA. Is is it really skadden for everyone everywhere? Say it aint so...

121:

You're an idiot if you work the hours for the cash. But at the same time, sometimes you have to work the hours; its nice to get an incremental kickup.

124:

Probably the same or more doc review than Latham in the SF office; less by far in the LA office. Gibson's a bit more over the map.

Kirkland pwns in CA

NYO is NOT slow and I would say reactions are not varied. People are not happy. And has anyone noticed that QE is the ONLY firm to be below market for first years and judicial clerks? It may not be much money, but seriously? We get that you're cheap. But really? Below market?

wow. boies >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> quinn.

ATL, I don't understand why you are spinning this as a positive. It seems like Quinn is getting special treatment here considering no other firm that announced so far has required so many hours (2100) to receive a market bonus.

Only 100 hours of pro bono can count.

And worst of all, according to the chart, you don't seem to get anything below 2000 hours.

Quinn is also not the first firm to announce upward departures in bonus based on high levels of hours (see last week's Ropes announcement, and they provided market rate at 1900 instead of 2100).

If one does the math based on Quinn's email numbers (200 avg in apr may june (average 2400/yr), 150 since then (average 1800/yr), and probably something closer to 150 than 200 before apr), the average billables will be much closer to 1800 than it is to 2400... meaning most will receive a below-market or no bonus, and very very few will get an extra bonus.

Stupid joke that is a propos to this thread, especially as John Quinn actually throws firm parties in his house:

A BigLaw Partner was throwing a firm party at his house. One of the junior associates had wandered off into the study, and was admiring a painting when the partner walked in.
"You like that painting?" The partner asked.
"I sure do, is it a Picasso?"
"It is, good eye. And you know, if you continue coming in early, leaving late, sacrificing your outside life for the firm, well then, someday..... I might be able to afford another one."

That is a stupid joke, indeed, 132.

8, 16, 23 - With all due respect, I have a strong feeling that the condescending in-house lawyers who cavalierly cry "padding", "fraud", "burn-out" and "inefficiency" when they hear of biglaw lawyers billing 2400 hours are a self-selecting set of those who weren't far enough along on the stamina bell curve to realize that part of being a successful biglaw lawyer is the ability (which not everyone has) to work long, hard and effictively. The quintessential biglaw assignments (public company merger deal needing to be signed by open of market Monday, preliminary injunction hearing on a tight timeline, etc.) are those for which long hours are part and parcel of the task; you can't have drafting relay times heading off after their effective, non-padded 8-hour shift.

Thus, during a year in which one's practice group is busy, 2400 hours is not parrticularly noteworthy or unusual. The real impediment to such an annual hour total is the deal- or case-flow not being consistent (where a workrate (e.g. 300/month) that truly can't be sustained) is needed to make up for several slow months.

Bottom line: I resent self-satified, if-I-couldn't-do-it-nobody-can accusations regarding my efficacy and/or honesty. I did 5, very effective, honestly-billed 3000 hour years in a row.

134, admit it, you are just too slow for the job. It takes you longer to do things that others can do in a reasonable time, and that is why you have no life.

135 - Admit it, your work is not good enough to merit consistent dealflow (which has led to spotty hours and your complaining about the inefficient tools who actually put up hours consistently). You were useful to have around during the busy times to staff up the c league deals, but you are awaiting the imminent and inevitable less than stellar performance review that will put you out on the street with a sparsely populated deal list. Good luck with that.

Of course, I have no idea if any of that is true, but I do know all of your statements are false.

Disappointed. considering new employment. I'm not getting prestige or money. whats the point? just the training? thats wearing thin.

I'm going bowling.

134, what place made you bill 3000 hours for five years in a row? Are its initials CSM?

137 did you miss the associates meeting in which one of the first years had a little nerd fit about the total lack of training? idiot should have gone to a real firm. and that goes for me too.

Fu Schnicken!

Hey, 81, don't worry about 84. He'll be on the street soon enough once Grammar Patrol uncovers his "indiscrete" use of indiscreet. It's not easy calling people out... they exposed they self.

141 - fuck you. Was my grammar gud?

It is announced on FRIDAY, the week before CHRISTMAS, by someone other than John QUINN, because they know this is a shame.

143:

Schirtzer also sent around the partnership announcement; he's sort of the unofficial "associate relations" guy along with Purcell.

What's the partnership scoop?

As a 2L who recently went through the whole recruiting phrase, it's really strange how Quinn can be so cheap - not just here, but seemingly across the board - while still trying to maintain its image as the hip law firm that breaks the mold and treats associates like men.
I very nearly went to Quinn over a non-Skadden V5 because I genuinely like everyone at the firm, only wanted to do litigation, and was very impressed by the projected image.
I understand firms like S&C and CSM have to cut bonuses because 2009 is so uncertain, but QE is a straight-lit firm. BSF didn't change their bonus structure this year.
When Quinn's recruiting department called me to find out why I had turned down their offer, I said there were just too many little things that seemed to contrast with the image they were portraying. I think you can add this bonus structure to the list.

While I like most of the partners I work for, I believe Quinn as a firm does not respect associates (or staff for that matter). Today's slashing of bonuses, when the firm is doing well, clearly based on a (questionable) belief that the depressed job market will suppress negative consequences, continues a pattern of affronts - both personal and non-personal, monetary and non-monetary.

Though Quinn has higher billable hour cutoffs than its competitors, the firm is notoriously and even comically stingy. The rare times when the firm is generous (a subsidized trip to Switzerland!) seem transparent marketing ploys. The story was that the firm compensated us through salaries and bonuses at the top of the market; that isn't true any more. There is also the story that the reward is making partner. It feels to me that the firm is lengthening the track and making it rockier. That light at the end of the tunnel fades as you approach it, possibly by design (just another way to squeeze out huge billables from senior associates).

As a bottom line, I understand that a law firm is a business, but many businesses have positive cultures of respect. Quinn does not. As such, I will seek to lateral somewhere else, when the market allows it.

whatever, at least if you bill 2800 you get paid a decent bonus at QE. At Paul Weiss you bill that much and get market. Such bullshit.

148 -- couldn't agree more. The QE associate who billed 2600 losing the Parmalat trial makes twice as big a bonus as the PW associate who billed the same number on the other side.

Oh well. The PW associate at least has to be happy that he works at a firm that knows how to win cases . . . right?

Wait, QE really isn't an ID firm? Wow.

I agree with this post: "quinn has some pr person acting as a 'tipster' and posting in the comments. this thread proves it."

How the hell did this get portrayed as a "reward" for anyone? Are the "busy bees" getting more than they got last year? Are they even getting more than the "lazy bees" last year?

it wouldn't surprise me at all if an agent of quinn "tipped" this news in a vain attempt to spin it positively. qe screws associates royally and there's no way it should have the half-decent reputation it has.

146: Some of the projected image reflects reality, at least in the LA office. But I think you made the right choice going somewhere else. I can no longer recommend QE to my friends without serious reservations.

While not every self-abosrbed, sub-par douche bag in my class accepted an offer with QE, every student who did accept an offer there is, unquestionalbly, a self-absorbed, sub-par douche bag.

152: I have no doubt that it does. Like I said, QE was the one place where I really liked everyone I met. My whole callback, all I did was talk about sports. I met with two of the name partners, and they were both really down to earth and friendly; one of them repeatedly apologized for being hung over. QE was the one place where I could see actually enjoying parties, lunches, etc. with my co-workers.
That said, I value honesty very highly. I don't know if it makes much sense, but I'd rather get treated like a worker bee by Cravath than by QE.

"there will be lots of claims to be brought"
that is the worst piece of writing i have seen in long time

i have a good friend in the QE NY office -- 2nd year. despite their image of giving early experience, she does mostly doc review.

154: I understand. Strangely though, it seems they've recently taken the tack of thrusting to the forefront the high hours people work for the mediocre pay. I'm not sure what the logic was behind publishing the bonus structure today, but hey, it's honest.

156: One positive I can say about Quinn is that the experience I've gained has been great. I've done a very small percentage of doc review. It differs from person to person of course.

This is terrible. A wachtell first year STUB in a year when M&A is down across the board will make MORE than a Q&E 7th year associate who billed 2380... and Quinn claims it is better situated in this market than any other firm.

Totally different philosophies- Quinn uses people and takes everything it can squeeze out of them.

154: why exactly is a name partner with a drinking problem a plus?

every firm should have an obese, depraved name partner

this is a hard pill to swallow because we have been told over and over again that the firm is doing fine. our advantage as a lit. only firm is that we aren't losing all the deal business in the downturn. there will always be litigation. etc. etc. we can sue the banks. blah blah blah. and to think i bought into all that horseshit.

now they go and cut fucking bonuses in half? last i checked, the other firms have a valid reason for cutting bonuses--they're losing money. what's quinn's reason? because they can? that's total horseshit.

now i'm in a position where i actually want to find out that the firm's in big trouble, financially. i want to hear that PPP is down by 50% this year. because i swear to god, if the partners have the gall to pull this shit and then turn around and post record PPP... well, i just don't know what i would do. i guess i would probably surf over to atl and post a comment where every paragraph ends with the word "horseshit."

horseshit, horseshit, fuckity-fuckin' horseshit!

They know what they are doing. They thought about this carefully. They simply don't care to be regarded as a TTT. They would rather keep a few thousand extra per partner.

161: They can, just like you can answer recruiters' calls, work fewer hours, spend less time on recruiting, and devote less energy to the firm; and just like next year's 2Ls can decide to work elsewhere.

162: Or maybe they desperately care about being regarded as a TTT and the calculation is simple.

PPP = Prestige
Associate Satisfaction ≠ Prestige
Quality of Life ≠ Prestige

161: Don't think of the new bonus structure as slashing bonuses in half. I think Lat would agree with me that all QE has done is to increase the minimum billables to 2,600 hours. Moreover, they have been generous enough to offer partial bonuses to the rest of the slackers who can't manage to bill 50 hours a week, 52 weeks a year. Stick that in your NALP directory and smoke it.

Quinn will live to regret this. It's the last straw for already demoralized associates. Does any Quinn associate have a shred of loyalty now?

166: No. I'm one of the few that did.

155 - you're totally right; besides, they've already been brought'n

last!!!!

*farts*

Jesus, what is with all the bitching? With this economy, where plenty of top-tier lawyers can't even find jobs, those of us who didn't receive a full Skadden bonus should just be glad that we didn't get laid off.

How about directing some of your bitching energy toward improving your legal skills? Then, when you make partner at a place like Quinn, you can rake in $3M a year, at which point a $15K bonus cut won't seem like such a big deal.

170 = tipster #1 = pr hack

170- quinn just changed it's partner track to 10 years. Have fun taking it in the ass from a disloyal firm for that long.

172 - I believe JBQ's e-mail said seven years. Anyway, as a second year, I don't intend to wait it out that long. It sucks, because I feel I've built up a good reputation, but better to cut my losses now. I don't trust Quinn AT ALL. Who knows what the partnership line will be four to five years from now? All I know, after this, is the decision will be based on market forces I can't control, not a consistent notion of merit or fairness.

Another poster explains this is just supply and demand. Fair enough, as an economic explanation. But the associates on the supply side of this equation are smart, informed, and mobile. And Internet message boards like this are permanent. The supply of associates wanting to work at Quinn is not a constant.

And finally, supply and demand is a descriptive rule of economics, not a normative rule for how to treat people. There's a moral vacuum problem here that goes well beyond bonuses.

Quinn's bonus announcenment is just one of many examples of what has gone wrong with U.S. law firms since they started hiring chinks en masse. These chinks are just so happy to be able to afford something more than rats and dung beetles for dinner, that they make it acceptable for compensation to be driven down. Time to send all these law chinks back to the PRC and leave legal jobs for good, hard-working Americans with a proper American sense of entitlement. Why the fuck would you hire chinks for legal work anyways? Chinks have never even managed to develop a rule-based legal system in their many thousand year chinky history.

RE: MAKING "PARTNER" AT QUINN

It has rarely happened for associates, and is becoming more and more rare. They prefer to hire lateral partners with some business or experience acquired at a place that cared to give it to them. For associates, it is all smoke and mirrors.

I would rather take my chances someplace else, where they actually pay top of the market, where I can have better quality of life, and where at least they are honest.

175 said it all. The advantages Quinn once offered have evaporated over the years leaving nothing but a mass of frustrated associates who, after this latest announcement, will jump at the first chance to lateral. I know I will.

175 - AMEN. That is EXACTLY right fellow ATL readers.

- Quinn 6th year

any idea how irell will respond?

Quinn not matching OMM is just embarassing.

Most of these comments do not seem rational at all. There are two issues: (1) Are these bonuses "fair" compared to competing firms? and (2) Are these bonuses fairly distributing amongst associates?

I can't speak to question # 1 because I don't think we've seen enough firms' announcements to be in a position to judge. If Quinn wants to be a compensation leader, it has obviously not won that battle.

As to # 2, do the math. An associate who billed 1,900 hours got paid more per hour than an associate who billed 2,030-2,090 hours or 2,140-3,000+ hours. An associate who just made the cutoff for full bonuses announced last year (2,100 hours) made more per hour than anyone else.

That's right - if an associate billed 3,000 hours last year, he or she made about 80% per hour as compared to someone who billed exactly 2,100. So I am not sure that lower billing associates exactly got "screwed."

And I'm not sure this scheme rewards busy bees particularly. The more an associate billed over the threshold level for each "tranche," the lower the payment per hour. More likely, the scheme was thought up to prevent those who worked significantly harder not feel that they were screwed, but at the same time prevent associates from offering an incentive to associates to unnecessarily bill an insane amount of hours (an associate billing 2,900+ hours got less per hour than anyone who billed less).

I'm not sure this is unfair vis-a-vis other associates at Quinn. And I'm not sure a GC would object if he or she thought about it.

And no, I am not a tipster. I'm rank and file.

180: Those are the only two fairness issues you want to address, likely because they seem the most manageable and you're a shill. There are other ways to approach the fairness question. First, are the bonuses fair in terms of the partnership's profits? Obviously not. Second, are the bonuses fair in that people who worked hard this year get rewarded the same as they would have last year? Obviously not. (While other firms may not pass this particular test, that is mitigated by the need to subsidize the slowest associates in a down year. Quinn can't claim the same and pass the laugh test considering the cutoffs.)

But on to your own tests. 1) Are the bonuses fair compared to other firms? No. My understanding is that associates at every significant Quinn competitor make the same or more with a lower billable hours requirement, and have higher day-to-day perks to boot. 2) Are they fair among associates? Arguably. But I think many people would have liked to bill more hours but couldn't find the work during the slow period. That's their fault? Doesn't seem so fair to me.

I get the impression that there is one troll in particular who posts the same comment about Boies Schiller whenever the firm comes up---- you know, the poster who always notes that BSF is a "one man firm". I'm not sure where anyone gets that impression.

Some random partner bios... yeah, I'm sure none of these folks bring in any of their own business.

http://www.bsfllp.com/lawyers/data/0095
http://www.bsfllp.com/lawyers/data/0037
http://www.bsfllp.com/lawyers/data/0002
http://www.bsfllp.com/lawyers/data/0204
http://www.bsfllp.com/lawyers/data/0155

I'm an IP lit associate looking to go into the lateral market. Quinn was at the top of my list, but no longer -- John Quinn's email basically says that Quinn associates will be working like slaves in the next year, but he's crazy if he thinks anyone is going to be motivated to do the shit given the ridiculous bonus schedule. There are no good law firms to work for in LA. Fuck me.

181: a shill is someone who is paid by a company to promote something and pretends that he is not getting paid. I obviously haven't done that. I clearly was not hiding the fact that I am employed by Quinn. So how on earth can you accurately call me a shill?

Next time, you should consult a dictionary before leveling accusations. (Nun rapist . . . oh wait, that's not the word I was looking for. I meant demagogue.)

OK, I inaccurately called you a shill. Do you have any relevant comments, shill? You said you're rank and file and employed by Quinn. But you never said you're a rank and file associate. Are you a partner, shill?

185: I think I did post a relevant comment. Proof: you responded to the points in my original post. Anyway, I'm willing to concede this royal battle because who gives a shit about anonymous "guests" facing off in a chat room. See you around. And by rank and file I obviously meant associate. Who refers to partners w/ 3 M PPP as "rank and file"?

186: do you a least agree that an associate at Skadden, Orrick or OMM is much better off than a Quinn associate this year?

Do you agree that if Quinn's PPP this year are virtually the same as last year's (as is expected) a substantial decrease in associate compensation is not justified?

Do you realize that your partnership prospects are basically null? Have you noticed what has happened to associates that have been there longer than you?

If after some much education you don't see how you are getting screwed, you probably deserve it.

187: don't project on me. I didn't determine your bonus. And if you are going insult someone and mention education in the same breath, don't mess up your grammar. As to your questions, it's whatever the market can bear. If these bonuses get in the way of Quinn's goals (new hires, prestige, whatever), the bonuses next year will be better. If not, we vote with our feet. I don't see any point in getting sentimental about it.

188: you haven't been there very long. Some have already waited for things to get better.

188: What the market can bear is up to you. I personally will not sit back passively and see what the market will bear next year. If you are fucked over by Quinn Emanuel again, it's your fault.

Quinn Emanuel ---- Home of the Quarter Skadden.

Quinn has become a fucking joke.

190: that was exactly my point. You take responsibility for what you accept. This is a job. It is a commercial relationship. Partners are not your mommy and daddy. If I stay it is because I accept the compensation and bonus scheme, among other reasons. If I don't, I leave whenever the market continues. You can hardly act surprised over bonuses when last year they had a strict hour cutoff without telling anyone. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me . . . won't get fooled again.

All of this rhetoric about "just be glad to have a job" is B.S. Associates' work throughout 2008 generated a certain amount of money. Some portion of it is going to the associates and some portion of it is going to the partners. How exactly the allocation is made is, of course, up to the partners. But if the partners choose to do the allocation so that their piece (i.e., PPP) goes up or remains constant as compared to last year, while the associates' piece (i.e., bonuses) goes way down, then associates are justified in being pissed off. The macro economic issues don't factor into the simple calculation described above, other than as a backdrop against which partners think they can get P.R. cover for their land grab.

Normally I would have spent 5 hours or so today billing. (Note to law students: Quinn, BTW, reimburses you $18 for lunch if you bill 4 hours on a weekend day. Not $20, $18, lol!) Not today. And I'm working on my resume as we speak.

194 is not alone. All rationale associates at Quinn are updating resumes. The market will shift and when that happens, the mass exodus will begin.

RIP QE.

rationale associates?

quinn has gone downhill.

I am working on my resume too! Good luck to all with the search.

Interesting perspective that may make you appreciate your blessings during this holiday season: http://www.globalissues.org/article/26/poverty-facts-and-stats

Does anyone know if Skadden is hiring?

Skadden's Gulag office is always accepting applications from T2 students at the top of their class.

198, your sanctimonious B.S. has no relevance to the matter at hand. There is a pot of money. It is going in some proportion to partners on the one hand, and associates on the other hand. The only issue is how that allocation is made.

Of course members of both of those groups should be happy that they are not poverty-stricken, sub-Saharan Africans, but "appreciating" that blessing is completely beside the point.

It will be interesting to see how Quinn addresses the associate screw-over at the upcoming state of the firm address.

Everyone who claims to be dusting off their resumes because of this (or any other bonus/salary announcement) is going to have a rude awakening. Face it, folks, we've been had. There's nowhere to go, and not just because no one is hiring laterals right now. Suppose firms were happy to swap associate bodies...which firm would you choose? Is there any place left in biglaw where associates are "respected" or treated as anything other than hours-producing drones?

Swallow your righteous indignation and deal. It's very tempting to announce that you're going to ride off ina big huff, but that huff just doesn't have anywhere to go.

203, meet GDC.

203 - please take a step back from your computer, so that you have plenty of room TO GO FUCK YOURSELF.

203: I won't "deal." We'll see what opportunities are out there. I've had plenty of recruiter calls the past month. We'll also see whether our "righteous indignation" here amounts to nothing in the eyes of future recruits.

202: I will not attend.

206 - just because the recruiters are calling doesn't mean there are open positions out there. think about it - the recruiters are really hurting right now, too...if firms aren't hiring laterals, recruiters aren't getting paid. they need candidates in hand to present to firms, in hopes that someone, anyone, is hiring - so they are hitting the phones hardcore right now trying to find people to send them resumes.

207. I have "thought about it." My number-one career priority is leaving Quinn Emanuel. It will take whatever time it takes. If it takes over a year, and Quinn Emanuel pays legitimate bonuses next year, it will still be my number-one career priority, because I know that Quinn Emanuel is not a firm in which I can have long-term confidence. I will hit the phones hardcore myself.

All of you who are threatening to leave quinn:

please do. We have a lot of deadwood, especially in LA, and we seem to have a hard time firing people.

And if you're not deadwood, please leave too, so my chances at promotion get better.

I keep laughing when I read the e-mail at the top from the happy QE associate in the top tranche. Some people here seem to think it's QE PR. If so, QE's PR is really, really bad! And if it's not PR...if it's really just an associate...it's even funnier. This guy is really, really happy to work 2,800+ hours and get at most $35k more than someone who worked 2,100 hours? That's at most $35k/700 = $50/hour for grueling work, way under the pay he got for the first 2,100 hours of work.

210:

Again, that assumes that the idea is "hey, I'm going to work my balls off for an extra thirty grand" rather than "wow, I got my ass kicked this past year, nice of them to kick me some extra money."

211: correct. All of the rest of youse is fucking whiners.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but the plural of bonus is "boni." Nice education, losers!

213, you asked for it -- you're wrong. If you were actually speaking Latin, the plural would be "bona." Moreover, if you were actually speaking Latin, the correct noun form would be "bonum." The word "bonus" is an adjective in Latin. But since we are all speaking modern, idiomatic English, we use "bonus" as a noun, with the plural form "bonuses."

213: no shit. I can't believe you took me seriously, what a pompous ass. Translate this: stultus

pedicabo vos et irrumabo, 215.

208 will have a lot of company. Due to the market, associates may not lateral next month, or the month after, but the persistent associate beatings at Quinn will cause people to leave.

For anyone entertaining the notion of working at Quinn, please read these 200 plus posts.

i moved to quinn from a V10 because i was ready for a change-up from standard "firm culture" and because i thought it was a ballsy lit firm. turns out the casual culture covers up their nickel-and-dime mentality and the fact that half of the lawyers are complete idiots. like many other posters, i agree that quinn emanuel is a joke and i will be happy to leave when i can. nice move, JBQ. terrible move, me.

i started at qe drinking the kool aid i made myself. because qe has never cared if i'm happy with my job. the simplest of requests are scoffed at.

i marvel at the firm's financial success. but worry it's a bubble. i don't sense the firm is managed well or at all. i don't see fundamental strength over competing firms. qe are "trial lawyers"? please.

plummeting associate morale and reputation can't help. an exodus of top talent can't help either. in time competition will overtake. and i will be gone, with any luck.

219: me too

219:

What exodus of top talent are you seeing? The partners (who, let's face it, are the only "talent" that matter) seem to be staying put for the most part.

We're all cogs in the machine; Quinn makes sure we remember that every day, when we have to pay for yet another little bullshit thing that's covered by other firms, like updating our practice guides or getting a whiteboard for our office.

Cheapskate motherfuckers.

Forward Quinn associates, charging an army, while all the world wondered. But let us not forget, lest we become three-legged dogs, these wise and pompous words: amidst all this bustle tis not reason which carries the prize but eloquence, and no man needs ever despair of gaining prosyletites to the most extravagant hypothesis who has art enough to represent it in any favorable colors.

219: I've never heard of any associate paying to update a practice guide -- assuming that it's relevant to your practice, of course. More details please?

As to anyone asking how QE and other lit-heavy shops dare cut bonuses from last year, the answer is that bonuses are market driven in good times and bad. Last year's "special bonuses" were all about corporate work, but QE matched the market. I cashed my (almost) six figure bonus check last year -- I'm not going to complain now about bonus this year, even though it's less than half that. Anyone who wants it both ways is living in a dream world.

QE Of Counsel

223: we have to pay for our own rutter's guide updates.

you're right, last year's bonuses were "all about corporate work," even though quinn topped $ 3 million PPP doing litigation work. no way did the bonuses reflect firms' overall financial success. they reflected corporate work exclusively. brilliant analysis.

many of counsels become partners in january. saying you're an of counsel doesn't mean a whole lot.

I noticed that several posters have indicated they will be working on their resumes and transferring laterally out of the Quinn firm to another firm where they will be appreciated and better rewarded. I could make this 9 pages or brief. I began working in Feb 1988 for Mr. Quinn as a Legal Word Processor. At that time, the office manual read, "The purpose of a law firm is to make money." Associates, it was explained in the office manual, were expected to work 1900 billable hours a year, but more was recommended. Since half the posters here probably work at QE, everyone already knows who I am. On Sunday, Jan. 16, 1994, I was working in the Word Processing Dept. all night on my own stuff, designing labels, whatever floats a non-attorney's boat. A lot of work was brought in by attorneys on Sunday and piled up in the basket. So I clocked in at 4:27 a.m. on Jan. 17, 1994 (I still have the clock-in timesheet) and loyally began work then instead of 6 a.m. because of the tremendous workload. Then, 5 minutes later at 4:32 a.m., the 7.1 earthquake hit. The building shook ferociously, and I thought it would collapse. I exited down the stairs and went to the Pantry to eat breakfast. I decided to go back to the office to see if I could retrieve the back-up tapes containing all the firm's computerized documents, so Mr. Quinn would still have a law firm, because I thought the building would be condemned. A security guard escorted me up the stairs. Large, probably 400 pound file cabinets were tipped over, and stairwells were twisted and bent. I got the tapes. Several years later, after I had departed from the firm, I wrote Mr. Quinn and asked to be put in the firm's Hall of Fame for retrieving the tapes. He wrote me back (one letter from him in my whole life) and told me I am in the Hall, but only because of doing constructive things in the community, not the one thing that merits me being in the Hall. But my persistent efforts to get a gold Hall of Fame QEUO&H ring have come up empty. Now it has been 13 and one half years since I have been a Legal Word Processor. However, if any of you, as attorneys, dictate a motion on a cassette tape, and a Legal Word Processor can transcribe the tape, and get to page 8, which finishes the tape, in one hour flat, don't you think that is one hell of a document creation expert? Then, of course, Legal Word Processors are required to do revisions, I am only in the good/excellent category there, not world class. Just when I was about to be promoted to Janitor by Mr. Quinn, I left to become the Ambassador to Luxembourg, though I eventually fell short of that lofty goal. The reason I left? Because I did not think I was being paid enough to crank out a high volume of quality work under stress and pressure, with the constant battle to empty the basket. The lower case ee cummings memo above is not typical of Mr. Quinn. I know, of couse, because I have transcribed hundreds if not thousands of his memos, and they are always marvels of grammatical propriety. But he does cut off sentence endings with "clicks" of the handheld dictation device. He also does a hell of a 14-hour Iron Man Triathlon. He throws a great company party at his house, and I really miss those White Russians, but I really think he should upgrade that clunky jukebox to a fully restored one. Although my stair-crawling days and seven day work weeks may be a thing of the past, once you have Legal Word Processing in your blood, it is difficult to exorcise, so if any of you active attorneys know of a law firm in Century City that could use or abuse a Hall of Famer, albeit sans gold ring, like me who can input 7 or 8 pages of motions an hour, I want to come out of retirement (translation: near poverty due to economy meltdown) and work about 10 more years in a document creation center (so I can buy a $30,000 house in a one-horse town in 2019), so you can post a reply to whatever number I turn out to be in this compilation of serialized postings. Hopefully, this will not be posted twice, mainly because I edited it. The QEUO&H Hall of Fame Legal Word Processor That All Law Firms Dream About Hiring But Few Ever Have The Privilege of Assigning A Desk And Stapler To