Kirkland & Ellis Sends Holiday Party Reminder:
K&E Associates Send Bonus Reminder
Kirkland & Ellis sent out one over-the-top holiday party reminder, yesterday. They made the planned festivities sound so great that I briefly missed the feeling bourgeois accomplishment that comes from working in Biglaw in Manhattan. Take a look at some of the highlights:
The Holiday Party is this Thursday, and we are expecting about 530 people to attend!The Plaza
For the first time the party will be held at The Plaza, on the corner of Fifth Avenue and Central Park South. The Plaza has just gone through an historic restoration and the event spaces are more beautiful than ever. Our party occupies three of the most famous
rooms: The Palm Court, The Terrace Room, and the Terrace Room Foyer.Unlike previous years, the entire party space will be open from start to finish. Drinks and passed hors d’oeuvres will be served at 6:00 p.m., the buffets will open at 7:00 p.m., with the skit, raffle and Employee Recognition Award being presented around 7:30 p.m.
Even a law student knows that a lawyer’s life is not glamorous. But occasionally, when you get your ticket punched by Biglaw, you get to act like you’re respected and important. Every now and again the yuppie dream becomes a physical reality.
More party details and a reality check after the jump.
Here’s what K&E says about the famous Plaza “Terrace Room.”
The room “seen in a million wedding photographs” is the hub of this year’s party activities. It is called the Terrace Room because it is divided into three, ascending levels. The dance floor and DJ are located on the second level, so the Terrace Room is the place to be for the entertainment, raffle and awards presentations. Bars and buffets are scattered throughout, so food and drink will never be far away. One of the nicest features of the Terrace room is the balcony that overlooks the main floor. The balcony is accessible by taking the curved stairs located at either end of room.
Of course, the Kirkland & Excess memo is oddly discordant with the times we’re living through. I’m sure many K&E associates — especially the ones who didn’t grow up with designer toys — would love to take a moment at party and revel in the fleeting sense of “I’ve made it.” But the stress and pressure of an unstable economy really doesn’t allow anyone to feel safe or secure. As a tipster more elegantly puts it:
Recession? What recession? … K&E best not fuck me over on my bonus!
Reality Bites.
Fun times at The Plaza make everybody look good. But there are bills to pay, debts to repay, and always the oppressive knowledge that somebody across town is taking home double over what you could be getting for the same work.
We hope K&E doesn’t screw people out of their bonus like the rest of the “market.” We hope K&E doesn’t fire anybody. But because these issues are out of the hands of average associates, I suggest bringing a camera to the party and taking lots of pictures. Your mother will be proud even if your banker is unmoved.
Earlier: Kaye Scholer to More Cowbell
Kirkland & Ellis New Vacation Policy: Tastes Great, But Is It Less Filling?
(111) Comments
Comments
12th
they have a skit at their holiday party? is there a talent show too?
I just saw nervous T-10 1L!!!
Billionth!!!1
"Even a law student knows that a lawyer's life is not glamorous. But occasionally, when you get your ticket punched by Biglaw, you get to act like you're respected and important. Every now and again the yuppie dream becomes a physical reality."
Oh, what lyrical writing! What witty insight! Someone give this man a Nobel, or at least a Pulitzer.
Unfortunately for you, Elie, cynicism does not pass for intelligent analysis or good writing. Even though the economy is depressing, at least Lat is able to express that sentiment without bashing everything the way you do.
First you complain that the firms are cheap, and then when they act lavishly, you bash them yet again.
Get your fat ass off your undeserved high horse. How did you ever get into Harvard? Eat the dean of admissions?
SInce when did it become a holiday party??? It's always been a CHRISTMAS party around here.
-old partner dood
llb '52
Accepted K&E for this summer, they sent a nice sherpa blanket with K&E discretely embroidered in a corner. I wonder if other firms are still sending summers holiday gifts.
the word is, our bonuses will be huge, as usual.
Wow. A law firm hosting a holiday party. This is big news, folks. Way to scoop the WSJ Law Blog, Elie!
K&E staff have been told that their bonus will remain the same as it was last year. Associates expect the same.
FIRST!!!!
Am looking forward to the party. Particularly glad Elie wont be getting near those buffets.
How do you know, 10? You have shares?
Pls Hndle Thx: I drew my cousin and her husband in my family's secret santa drawing. They are both thirty year-old 4th-year V20 associates in NYC. I, on the other hand am a 2L in the middle of finals with neither the time for aimless browsing nor the funds for the kind of sexy toys Biglaw associates can afford.
Can any of you recommend a gift they might like that isn't too expensive? I'm thinking the $100-$200 range. Could be either separate gifts or a joint gift for both of them.
Thanks!
Summered at K&E-Chicago last summer and headed there after graduation. Just received the blanket this morning. Can't wait to snuggle with it.
Expectations of mammoth K&E bonuses are unrealistic.
The firm has literally hundreds of attorneys focused exclusively on private equity--which is and will be a nearly-dead practice for the next year or two.
Is WL going to do his annual dance in NYC?
ATL really needs to cut some of the unnecessary cynicism and negativity out of its reporting. The quality of writing is getting horrendous and the tone of each post is disgusting. Gone are the days when I enjoyed reading ATL.
14- Give them a copy of your student loans with a note that says, "The gift that keeps on giving.... nothing to everyone around you."
so much depends
upon
a well-timed
memo
william careless williams
ATL really needs to cut some of the unnecessary cynicism and negativity out of its reporting. The quality of writing is getting horrendous and the tone of each post is disgusting. Gone are the days when I enjoyed reading ATL.
FAP
FAP
FAP
- K&E first year
sup /b/?
Hm...there have been stealth layoffs at K&E
It looks like this will be the year the men separate from the boys. It used to be Wachtell and then everybody else (S&C, Cravath, Davis Polk). Now it will be Wachtell/Kirkland and then everybody else.
How embarassing for the NY elite to be upstaged by a grubby Chicago firm. The horrors. (and da Bulls, da Bears, da Cubs).
How fucking stupid are K&E attorneys that they need an instructional email on how to navigate the party?!
"There will be 3 rooms. In each will be a bar and buffet so you will never be far from food. When approaching a bar, tell the person behind the bar, in a firm but respectful voice, your desired choice of beverage. Incidentally, at the Plaza, the person behind the bar, seen in many a historic photograph, is known as a 'bartender' which term dates back to the glorious days of parties thrown at the Plaza in days of yore." What next...
Bathrooms are located throughout the building, so you will never be far away from a place to piss, poop, or snort lines of coke (see again, days of yore). When needing to wipe your ass, remove approximately two feet of tissue from the roll...."
Christ almighty.
Jesse Jackson Jr is reportedly Senate Candidate No 5, i.e. the guy who Blagojevich claimed offered him up to $1 million to buy Obama's senate seat. So much for this seat staying as the black senate seat.
http://abcnews.go.com/Blotter/ConductUnbecoming/Story?id=6431739&page=1
I will be at the holiday party, with bells on. How grand... But, the sentiment here at K&E among associates is that if they are going to screw us on bonus and through this big Plaza bash, there's going to be a revolt. We are still waiting on bonus announcements... which may be the same as Cravath given how work around here has now slowed. Who knows, though? Maybe Father K&E will come through.
I will be at the holiday party, with bells on. How grand... But, the sentiment here at K&E among associates is that if they are going to screw us on bonus and through this big Plaza bash, there's going to be a revolt. We are still waiting on bonus announcements... which may be the same as Cravath given how work around here has now slowed. Who knows, though? Maybe Father K&E will come through.
21-
why are you still here then?
I will be at the holiday party, with bells on. How grand... But, the sentiment here at K&E among associates is that if they are going to screw us on bonus and through this big Plaza bash, there's going to be a revolt. We are still waiting on bonus announcements... which may be the same as Cravath given how work around here has now slowed. Who knows, though? Maybe Father K&E will come through.
i'm throwing a holiday party in my pants...and Kash is the only one invited
I will be at the holiday party, with bells on. How grand... But, the sentiment here at K&E among associates is that if they are going to screw us on bonus and through this big Plaza bash, there's going to be a revolt. We are still waiting on bonus announcements... which may be the same as Cravath given how work around here has now slowed. Who knows, though? Maybe Father K&E will come through.
I will be at the holiday party, with bells on. How grand... But, the sentiment here at K&E among associates is that if they are going to screw us on bonus and throw this big Plaza bash, then there's going to be a revolt. We are still waiting on bonus announcements... which may be the same as Cravath given how work around here has now slowed. Who knows, though? Maybe Father K&E will come through.
If 28/29/31 can't figure out how to post once, or how to use 'throw' and 'through'... he/she does not deserve a single cent for bonus.
In lieu, he/she can have Blagojevich's appreciation in spades.
So, this years volunteer to fellate me underneath the buffet table? I'm aiming to make it an annual experience, don't let me down.
- Lucky K&E 4L
PS. Preferably female again, willing to experiment.
#26 - you really don't know Carolyn Marino, do you now?
Repeat after me:
My job is my bonus.
I am not special.
Aderral is my friend.
5 - STFU. What an assclown.
"I briefly missed the feeling bourgeois accomplishment that comes from working in Biglaw in Manhattan."
Please save the contrived sense of class consciousness, fuckface. This blog is virtually devoted to addressing the insecurities and aspirations of the legal upper socioeconomic class. "Oh my goodness readership, they are cutting your bonuses to 17.5k...what an outrage!!!"
You. Are. Horrible. Douchebag.
Is someone going to be at the party will bells on?
Glad to see you made it into work today, Elie... 11:46... sheesh...
I'll be at the party with my bell-end at the ready. If that's what you mean?
I'll be at the party with my bell-end at the ready. If that's what you mean?
"I briefly missed the feeling bourgeois accomplishment that comes from working in Biglaw in Manhattan."
He means "the feeling OF bourgeois accomplishment." Poor Elie, it must be hard being a pseudo-journalist with a scarlet AA stamped on everything you write.
cookies from 1L firm; shirt with logo from 2L firm for Xmas/Finals Studying
I have no opinion on the content and form of this post.
Ed Stimes
24, K&E has "stealth layoffs" every year. They're one of the more aggressive firms in culling those who aren't "with class", even when the market is good.
46 - I got jack squat from my V10 firm for next summer.
48 is right. I like the system, though. Get rid of the people who can't pull their own weight. That means in December there are fewer people among whom the firm divides up the bonus pool!
kirkland to 190! (pre-bonus)
50 - while we are at it why not euthanize the elderly - they consumer valuable resources far greater than any benefit they provide to society.
Skadden, Arps unveils new website! This firm can do no wrong!
http://www.skadden.com/
[Nothing to do with It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia]
52 - "they consumer valuable resources?" Really?
K&E also told some clerks "the fall 2009 class is full."
What kind of dipshit first year associate sends in a holiday party invitation to ATL? Answer: a douche bag. If you're so rad, hombre, don't come to the party. Dork.
- K&E Associate
54 - billions of medicare dollars = valuable resources
Hey law students, dont' pollute this with crap about what schwag you got from your offers. We don't care, and that post was done weeks ago. Go look it up if you care.
And realize, that when you're a lawyer, wearing your law firm logo out in public only makes people want to punch you in the face. Actually, same goes while you're a law student too.
52 - its a business, not a jobs program. Associates who don't pull their weight have no right to be at K&E. Don't like it? Go somewhere else.
58 - I beg to differ. I've bagged many a broad at Turtle Bay with my Cadwalader visor.
52, 57 - Wow, what a dumbass. The question "they consumer valuable resources?" was there to point out your stupid typo. "Consumer" is not a verb.
NOT 54
word on the street is that they are going to give out same bonuses as last year, but will be waiting until the holiday party to announce it. complete with the whole prom-esque falling balloons and whatnot. i shit you not.
61 - LOL!!!!!!!!!! A TYPO!!! YOU GOT ME, CHAMP! HELARIOUS (whoops look, another typo...LOLl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
- fifthty too/fiftee se7en
38 - Can you get me adderall too? I like the extended release ones.
6- we all know 'holiday' really means 'Christmas' anyway.
But nice try.
Old hag.
60 - mercy fucks don't count.
- Cabbage Head
I think the past week has shown that a fancy-shmancy holiday party and crappy bonuses are not mutually exclusive. See, e.g., Milbank.
16 - bitter STB fuck. Enjoy the shitty bonus, asshole.
I can guarantee 63-68 are all soft, biglaw pussies.
I can guarantee 63-68 are all soft, biglaw pussies.
I can guarantee 63-68 are all soft, biglaw pussies.
I can guarantee 70-71 are all soft, biglaw pussies.
69-71:
Do you have any guarantees that you'd like to share with the group?
Party at the Plaza? Once again, K&E is second to Weil.
http://abovethelaw.com/2008/07/weil_gotshal_monkey_business.php#comments
WTF? K&E SF's holiday party is from like 4-7 pm and spouses/guests are not invited.
proofread proofread proofread
Cabbage head? Ha... kudos to the kids in the hall fans!
Even the parties in Texas are bigger (and we still have parties)
Suck it, NYC/DC. Your time is over.
14 - go to the Met's online store and get them something artsy (like a fancy bookstop, or a lacquer box) as a joint gift. You should definitely get a joint gift, and stay under $150 or even $100. You are a law student and should not be blowing wads of cash on gifts for lawyers. People will ooh and aah because it's from the Met, and you will look classy and urbane.
Budget gift:
http://www.metmuseum.org/store/st_family_viewer.asp/familyID/%7B667201C3-EAA6-44DF-9D5C-7BA4A503D9BB%7D/FromPage/catMusic/familyNo/5/catID/%7BCC85B53B-089B-11D5-93EE-00902786BF44%7D
MId-range:
http://www.metmuseum.org/store/st_family_viewer.asp/familyID/%7B0045CA4E-F4A4-45A5-B772-07FF491759EF%7D/FromPage/catForHome/familyNo/2/catID/%7BD91D4424-AFA9-11D3-936C-00902786BF44%7D
Splurge:
http://www.metmuseum.org/store/st_family_viewer.asp/familyID/%7BFA81FCAD-92A4-4B0B-BCEC-425B10103633%7D/FromPage/catMusic/familyNo/2/catID/%7B72FCC14C-C924-49EA-BA78-8983925CFE83%7D
62 and others that think the holiday party has anything to do with bonuses clearly have no idea how K&E works. A large number of the people attending are staff (not attorneys) and the party is primarily directed at them, so there is no way they would announce attorney bonuses there. Nor have they ever done that before. The only thing of any marginal interest about this post is that K&E is not cutting back the holiday party like some other firms. It has absolutely nothing to do with bonuses. If past years are any indication, and they usually are, the bonuses will be less than the K&E bonuses last year, but yet substantially higher than the market.
80, are you an NSP?
Aren't these parties booked WAY in advance, so it's just too expensive for many firms to cancel them without forfeiting a huge deposit, and/or destroying any goodwill they have with the venue for future parties? Anyone plan one of these suckers before? I know planning a wedding is like that... and there are only so many nice large venues available during the holidays.... Not sure how much can be read into a firm not canceling its party.
How about you achieve the "feeling bourgeois accomplishment that comes from" being able to string together a few coherent, relevant sentences, Elie?
Kirklanttt & Ellis
79, very helpful. Thanks.
-14
79, how dare you offer useful advice here!
Someone at the party should take a dump in a urinial.
"Father K&E"
It's Uncle Weymouth, poseur.
"80, are you an NSP? "
If so, s/he should prepare for the shaft. NSPs are the bottoom of the bonus waterfall.
An historic? Someone has been watching too much network news. "An" precedes a vowel -- an apple. "A" precedes a consonant -- a history book.
still not as cool as Boies, Schiller's ENTIRE firm trip to Jamaica this weekend
Also got my K&E blankie in the mail.
Not that it affects me this year, but I'll be glad I dinged other V10 if bonuses aren't cut to Cravath-level.
Procrastinatin' 2L
Also got my K&E blankie in the mail.
Not that it affects me this year, but I'll be glad I dinged other V10 if bonuses aren't cut to Cravath-level.
Procrastinatin' 2L
87 - Had they given me an offer, I'd do it. Twice. Chinese buffet followed by serious bowel discipline on Thursday and during the day Friday.
90 - Loser. Loser. Loser. State school? (Other than Michigan and UPenn--those don't count.)
Elie -
Please stop perpetuating the mistruth that "somebody across town is taking home double over what you could be getting for the same work"
Bonuses are only a portion of compensation at law firms. 8th year associates at Cravath and Simpson are still making a lot more than first year associates at Skadden due to the difference in base compensation.
I guess you work for a muckraking site, so you're not really trying to get the truth out, and I'm probably an idiot for even responding.
That said, agree with all the posters who say that K&E will still pay higher bonuses than the competition. The bottom line is that as long as you think you can do a good job and you believe you'll succeed, K&E is the only non-Wachtell place to go. I've made (substantially) more money at K&E than any comparable biglaw associate at a non-Wachtell firm for every year I've been with the firm.
- K&E attorney
"Chinese buffet followed by serious bowel discipline on Thursday and during the day Friday."
Well, then you wouldn't be doing it durnig K&E's party--it's on Thursday.
94 -- It might make your put-downs about state schools work better if you did not reveal your cluelessness about Penn.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/University_of_Pennsylvania
97--
Know your comment section lore before correcting obvious nonsense. UPenn State Law School is quite the running gag here.
Ha.
-- 97.
90 - You might want to research or at least pass high school English before attacking. You see, English is a complex language full of exceptions. It is not incorrect to use "an" before the world "historic".
http://www.askoxford.com/worldofwords/wordfrom/aitches/
Carolyn Marino is no dummy.
anyone know what irell & manella bonuses are this year?
My mainstay NYC firm's holiday party is held in our cafeteria. Every year, not just this year. At 4 pm.
FUN.
Simpson's party is at Cipriani's (same place each year) Thursday night. you should crash it.
100 -- So you would say, "I bought an history book." Stupid.
104- just stop: you look ridiculous. A silent "h" on historic is appropriate (meaning the "i" is the first pronounced letter and that, as a result, "an" is equally appropriate.) A silent "h" is not appropriate with respect to "history" unless you are some d-bag my cousin vinny-esque scumbag, which might begin to explain why you are calling someone "stupid" in correcting their grammar when you are wrong. Grow up.
But the h in historic is pronounced. Do you say an istoric?
According to Fowler's Dictionary of English Usage:
A is used before all consonants except silent 'h' (a history, an hour); an was formerly usual before an unaccented syllable beginning with h (an historical work), but now that the h in such words is pronounced, the distinction has become pedantic, and a historical should be said and written...
The AP Stylebook 2005 agrees:
Use the article a before consonant sounds: a historic event...
She says it's held in three rooms and then admits one of them is a foyer to one of the other rooms. Classic puffery!
"It is called the Terrace Room because it is divided into three, ascending levels."
Do they charge clients by the unnecessary punctuation?
95 is right. K & E takes care of us VERY well. I would unsurprised if bonuses were higher than market. Plus, the top performers will be taken care of regardless. And the holiday party was not THAT extravagant.