firsty friday

first

ffff

it doesn't say "30 attorneys" it says "30 attorneys and other time keepers."

could be one attorney and 29 paras or something. who knows.

When does Cadwalader get credit for being ahead of the curve?

What do laid off associates usually do after having been laid off in bad economic times? How was it in 2001?

First to post SIXTH!

#2 -- I have heard of Seyfarth Shaw.

GULCing on a cracker

When does Cadwalader get credit for being ahead of the curve?

#5, maybe I am a snob, but it sounds to me like 30 attorneys, and X support staff. Maybe I innately didn't feel like support staff should be counted. But now that I think about it, I do.

We're all gonna die

My CWT NY 05 girlfriend says morale around the firm has actually been quite high of late.

Time keepers implies paralegals to me, and practice support people who bill.

they're not even mentioning if secretaries are laid off.

What do laid off associates usually do after having been laid off in bad economic times? How was it in 2001?

Time keepers implies paralegals to me, and practice support people who bill.

they're not even mentioning if secretaries are laid off.

I don't really know what to make of all this. I just started a two year clerkship but don't have a firm job lined up afterwards. Should I try to go for a firm job in litigation (I'm lower tier 1, decent grades, law review) or beg my judge to let me stay on another year or so?

TTT

Is it racist to fire GULC grads first?

"...were let go only because of the terrible economic climate that is hurting everyone."

Elie, I understand what you are getting at here, but the firings are not ONLY because of the economy. They aren't picking names out of a hat, they are picking the 30 worst people within the given practice areas that are being cut down. Maybe they wouldn't have pushed all 30 of them out if it weren't for the economy, but any recruiter would understand that these 30 came from the bottom of the barrel.

17,

you're an idiot. if you're on for two years, you've got a full year before the next hiring cycle. send out apps next august. if nothing pans out, come back next year with your questions.

#7 - good question. Mystal: write an entry on that... wtf are the job options for our fallen comrades? What can the rest of us look forward to? While you're at it, do some analysis for a change... running total of job losses / no-offers / withdrawn offers.

We're all getting laid.

20 - ummmm.....and you think that recruiters (read: sub-TTTs that could never find a job in the first place) are that discerning why???

MOORECLOPS takes umbrage with you, 17.

Economic downturn, come on. Looks like a true attempt by all these firms to lose dead weight. Like the market there is obviously a bubble that is adjusting itself. This is a great time to gain and keep those that bring in the most coin, cause face it folks at the end of the day cash is king.

Today is the day! Hold on to your hats, everybody.

anyone got any interview tips? i gotta get paid...

elie, you should do a thread on the 1L job search. lat did one last year, you don't want to be worse than lat do you?

-nervous T-10 1L
email congrats to nervoust101l@yahoo.com

3 interviews :):):)
15 dings :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(
161 pending...
1 "wait until january" :/

26,

Right, and when the economy turns around, those that were deemed "dead weight" will be deemed "victims of a slowdown." They'll all be found to be perfectly acceptable to join BIGLAW firm X in whatever practice group is hiring.

I'm not a lawyer, but I check and post on this blog for some reason all the time. Once again I want to reinterate to others like me, BIGLAW associates are the worst people in the entire world. They hate people who have huge supplies of the things they lack. What they lack the most is common sense, which underlies my point that associates use the very intellectual tools they criticize as naive when used by others, namely consequentialist arguments rather than arguments about truth or falsity. I repeat: associates' thralls are money and prestige crazed at best, and portend the downfall of society at worst. While this is undoubtedly true, we wouldn't currently have a problem with credentialism if it weren't for them. Although they created the problem, aggravated the problem, and escalated the problem, big firm associates insist that they can solve the problem if firms just grant them more power or pay them ever-increasing mega-bonuses just this one year ignoring the fact that our public coffers have run dry. How naïve do they think we are? Truly, our society needs your help if we are ever to deal with these relevant facts. "But I'm only one person," you might protest. "What difference can I make?" The answer is: a lot more than you think. You see, associates have never gotten ahead because of their hard work or innovative ideas or business acumen. Rather, all of associates' successes are due to double-dealing, economic thuggery, and unsavory cronyism. Firm associates can write anything they want about how things would be different were we to give into their demands and let them muster enough force to make conditions far worse than could ever have been the case without their incompetent efforts, but they argue that sacrifice counts for nothing, and merit is equivalent to signaling . I wish I could suggest some incontrovertible chain of apodictic reasoning that would overcome this argument, but it would be futile. Now that you've read this post, let me challenge you, the reader, not just to help me spread the word about BIGLAW associates's moonstruck scare tactics and me-first attitudes to our friends, our neighbors, our relatives, our co-workers -- even to strangers -- but also to educate others about what I've written.

Hey CWT Girlfriend guy:

You're the worst ATL character. Please go away.

Someone give me % odds on the following.

-Firms rescinding 3L permanent offers

-Firms laying off first year associates

Somewhere Loyola 2L feels schadenfreude

Is CWT Girlfriend guy really worse than # 30?

I am no character. I am simply a poster who has a CWT NY 05 girlfriend.

Is Elie getting stealth laid off??
See:

http://newyork.craigslist.org/mnh/lgl/945020540.html

Freelance Legal Blogging Job - LEGAL BACKGROUND REQUIRED (SoHo)

SoHo based company seeking a freelance writer/blogger to write 3-5 blog posts a week related to the legal industry. Legal background required; you must be a graduate of or a student at a top law school. Blogging background strongly preferred. Language skills a plus. You will be expected to pitch post topics in person once a week, and do all related research on your own.
Please include a creative writing sample with your resume. Past blog posts are extremely helpful.
Competitive compensation.

35:

You lucky dog. My girlfriend was at Skadden DC and got stealth laid-off, now I have to support her all by myself.

32,

rescinding 3L offers seems more plausible than laying off first years. no real investment in 3Ls, yet. firm stands more to lose in cutting first years.

http://money.cnn.com/2008/12/03/news/economy/legal_industry/?postversion=2008120305

Thanks for the ding SS.

- NYU 2L

"we continue to anticipate a solid 2008" but they're letting 30 people go?? If they had solid years in 2007, 2006, 2005, etc., did they let 30 go in those years as well? If not, why the difference? Because of projections in 2009? Doesn't sound right. Sounds instead like they actually did not have a solid 2008 but just don't want to admit it.

Can't wait for the fake 2008 PPP numbers to come out . . .

#30: "I'm not a lawyer, but I check and post on this blog for some reason all the time." - you check because you are obsessed with people who are better than you and you have to compensate by using pseudo-intellectual concepts punctuated by big words. Next time, try to make your comment short and direct. Like this: "#30, you should stop talking."

my CWT NY 05 girlfriend loves bukake parties

Elie,

Shouldn't this be titled "Chicago Layoff Watch"? After all, clearly that is where all the layoffs occur.

My CWT NY 05 girlfriend flew to SF this weekend to get some Glass Cock. TTT?

discuss...

THE LIST: This list does not include "redeployments," mergers, staff, or staff attorneys.

Announced | Firm | Location | Total | "Review-Based"? | Acknowledged?
1/11/2007 Kenyon & Kenyon US 16 No Yes
10/1/2007 Thacher Proffitt & Wood US 24 No Yes
10/17/2007 Kirkland & Ellis Chicago 6 to 8 Yes No
1/10/2008 Cadwalader, Wickersham & Taft Charlotte 9 No Yes
1/10/2008 Cadwalader, Wickersham & Taft NYC 26 No Yes
2/14/2008 Winstead PC Dallas ~3 Yes Yes
2/29/2008 Dechert US 13 No Yes
3/20/2008 Thelen Reid Brown Raysman & Steiner US 26 No Yes
4/4/2008 Dewey & LeBoeuf Jacksonville 10 No Yes
4/4/2008 Dewey & LeBoeuf Hartford 22 No Yes
4/4/2008 Dewey & LeBoeuf Austin 16 No Yes
4/25/2008 Sutherland Asbill & Brennan Atlanta 8 Mix Yes
4/25/2008 Sutherland Asbill & Brennan DC <7 Mix Yes
5/12/2008 Paul Hastings US 22 Yes Yes
5/28/2008 Sonnenschein Nath & Rosenthal US 37 No Yes
6/5/2008 Blank Rome Philadelphia 6 Yes Yes
6/5/2008 Blank Rome NYC 2 Yes Yes
6/5/2008 Blank Rome DC 1 Yes Yes
6/11/2008 Thacher Proffitt & Wood US 36 No Yes
6/23/2008 Powell Goldstein US <10 No Yes
7/1/2008 Patton Boggs Dallas 4 Yes Yes
7/1/2008 Patton Boggs US 5 Yes Yes
7/14/2008 Pillsbury Winthrop Shaw Pittman LA, SF, San Diego 15 Unk No
7/16/2008 Pillsbury Winthrop Shaw Pittman East Coast <10 Unk No
7/30/2008 Cadwalader, Wickersham & Taft NYC, Charlotte, London, DC 96 No Yes
8/4/2008 DLA Piper London 1 No Yes
8/6/2008 Sullivan & Worcester Boston & NY 7 Yes No
8/12/2008 Simpson Thacher & Bartlett global 30 Yes No
8/21/2008 Morgan & Finnegan NYC ~4 No Yes
9/22/2008 Freshfields Bruckhaus Deringer unknown <5 No Yes
9/25/2008 Heller Ehrman US ~600? No Yes
10/2/2008 Sonnenschein Nath & Rosenthal US 25 No Yes
10/14/2008 Clifford Chance NYC & DC 20 No Yes
10/20/2008 Dewey & LeBoeuf Charlotte 8 No Yes
10/20/2008 Katten Muchin Rosenman US 21 No Yes
10/21/2008 Jenner & Block US 10 No Yes
10/22/2008 Dechert US 10 to 30 Yes No
10/23/2008 O'Melveny & Myers LA 5 Yes Yes
10/27/2008 White & Case Milan 14 No Yes
10/28/2008 Thelen Reid Brown Raysman & Steiner US ~500? No Yes
10/30/2008 Bell Boyd & Lloyd Chicago 10 No Yes
11/3/2008 McKee Nelson NYC 13 No Yes
11/3/2008 McKee Nelson DC 4 No Yes
11/11/2008 Loeb & Loeb US 8 Yes Yes
11/11/2008 White & Case US, London 70 No Yes
11/12/2008 Moore Van Allen Charlotte 20 No Yes
11/13/2008 Orrick, Herrington & Sutcliffe US 40 No Yes
11/14/2008 Greenberg Traurig NYC unk No No
11/19/2008 Brown Rudnick US 20 No Yes
11/20/2008 Mayer Brown US 33 No Yes
11/20/2008 Squire Sanders US <30 Yes Yes
11/21/2008 Dewey & LeBoeuf NYC 5 to 11 Unk No
11/21/2008 Fried Frank US 15 Yes No
12/1/2008 Fried Frank US 15 Yes No
12/3/2008 Reed Smith UK 11 No Yes
12/4/2008 Proskauer Rose US 35 No Yes
12/4/2008 Dewey & LeBoeuf NY 11 No Yes
12/4/2008 Dewey & LeBoeuf LA 1 No Yes
12/5/2008 Seyfarth Shaw US 30 No Yes

20 -- I think many more factors come into play than you suggest. It's not even clear how one defines "bottom of the barrel" and it doesn't necessarily make sense to fire only those people, however defined.

I don't think that they are picking names out of a hat, but I think cost analysis, office politics, the market conditions in particular cities, and a host of other factors come into play. I think a lot of people who have been laid off (at Seyfarth and elsewhere) couldn't have done a whole lot differently to "save" their jobs.
--- Elie

The entirety of Chicago smells like sweat and sausage. Best advice is to simply fly over it.

35,

You strike me as a character much like Michael Scott when he was entangled with Jan.

Your CWT NY 05 girlfriend will get laid off and she'll eventually take up occupancy in your efficiency and then gradually spread her ever increasing fat butt cheeks all over your futon until it cracks and breaks. And she'll use your credit cards to maintain her expensive lifestyle while she vaguely looks for a job in this crappy market. And to cap it all off, you'll get married to a fat woman who eats bon-bons.

And she'll have an affair when she realizes that you're short, fat, and balding -- and a Biglaw salary doesn't overcome this particular handicap -- and have someone else's baby. Not knowing what else to do, you'll accept the baby as yours.

Best of luck. Don't let the door hit you on the rear.

Props to 42 - Take a look at the comments on the H/Y LS thread right below this one. 30 posted the exact same dissertation and got burned no less than 10 times. In a row. So glad he keeps up with our world. I'm fairly positive he assembles cars for GM.

f- me. good work #46.

that's awesome when you see it compiled like that. (awesome in the GW Bush sense of the word).

48, after that comment, i suggest you fly your anonymous ass over it.

38,

you sound like a first year who is trying to convince himself that his job is safe. how can you honestly believe first years are more valuable? in fact, they are probably less valuable:

- most of them have done NO work this year and have no sharper "legal skills" than an incoming '09 associate

- they will be paid more than '09 incoming associates next year

- there are probably more of them, hence more dead weight, because firms didn't really cut back on their summer program numbers until this past summer

so, how exactly is a first year more valuable to his firm than a incoming associate? ESPECIALLY first years in structured finance, real estate, and other groups affected by the credit squeeze...?

Any word on Seyfarth's LA office? Are people making their hours? Is the new RE dept busy?

49,

35's CWT NY 05 girlfriend is not going to get laid off. She is not going to get fat. She is not going to have a child out of wedlock. This is because she does not exist. 35 is a moron who thinks that claiming to have a girlfriend at CWT NY is a funny way of making fun of something -- not quite sure what. He sees the 1-2 genuinely funny novelty posters at ATL and tries to be like them, but only ends up not making any sense.

Whats up with TPW?

Whats up with TPW?

38,

Proskauer cut 1st years (class of 2008) yesterday. I wouldn't be surprised if other firms start to do the same thing.

Mystal -

How hard is it to pick up the phone and ask Seyfarth Shaw whether there will a severance package for those losing their jobs?

This economy sucks for everyone. I just had to fire one of my personal assistants. Which is really bad for me because I was sleeping with her and she was a lot hotter than my wife. And now all of her jobs have fallen to one of my secretaries who is not nearly as hot. We all have to make sacrifices.

55

Something tells me that you tend to miss the forest for the trees.

Next time, try reading between the lines.

Also, doing that at work tends to render you redundant in today's economy.

Sincerely,

49

60: Your comment is really funny. Like laugh out loud funny. After I read it, I yelled, "ZINGGGGGG!!!!!!!!" Then I started pumping my fist.

Mystal-

How about a post on what's "top market" for severance packages?

#55 hit on my CWT NY 05 girlfriend and got rejected in a very public manner.

What is a CWT NY05? Is that a code for something?

UVA2L

I'm not an attorney, but for some reason I follow this blog from time to time. Wow. I think it's hilarious how all you whining little delusional children are now shutting up and crossing your fingers that you won't be next on the chopping block. And to think, just a year ago you were compiling the "Lists of Shame" -- denigrating responsible law firms for not playing into the insane game of inflating salaries and mega-bonuses. I seem to remember how outraged you were that Howrey abandoned lockstep and moved to merit based pay increases. It's interesting to note that Howrey doesn't appear on the ever growing list above. You people make me sick. Enjoy your desks & your view while you have them -- all you lame prissy whining junior associates who don't know the meaning of sweat & hard work: & by the way, your IT departments know your web browsing habits. I wonder how often you're sitting & trolling ATL when you should be billing hours, you lazy deluded morons.

53,

boy, you are a true fucking moron. go ask your GM plant manager (you're clearly not a fucking attorney) how expensive it is to bring a new person into an organization.

those costs have already been sunk into first years. those costs have not been sunk into rising 3Ls.

first years will be paid more because they will have gained a year's worth of experience (if you spent time at a firm, you'd fucking know that no first year sits on his or her fucking thumbs for an entire year, ass clown).

and if fucking raises were that much of a concern, the firm would freeze them before it would sink more money into untrained, rising 3Ls at a time when the firm's clients are probably looking to cut costs even more.

so, you can either keep the people you've already sunk costs into, or you can bring up a whole new crop that you still need to sink costs into. pretty hard to figure that out, isn't it, you fucktard?

as for interjecting structured finance out of the goddamend blue to justify your fucking moronic argument - point to the part of the original posting that was talking about structured fucking finance, dickfuck. maybe you and you're big goddamned brain can figure out what the fuck is happening with structured fiannce and real estate hiring right now?

now get back to the fucking assembly line. break time is over.

#49 is a heavily tatooed S&M addict who is stalking my CWT NY 05 girlfriend

30 Please insert a corn into your butthole. Stop posting stupid long rants. Yeah, you also did it in the previous story and you are still an a$$wipe.
Learn to photocopy balls first.

Cadwalader is a sausage fest second only to Skadden where they have an elephant walk everyday around 1pm.

ONE, TWO, THREE! THREE interviews for Nervous T10 1L! AH AH AH AH AH!!!!

- Count Layoffula

When did everybody start dating CWT NY associates? Did I miss something? Is this a reaction to the economy?

Count Layoffula, you're the best character ever.

Yeah, can someone do Mystal's job for him and make a table of severance packages?

you people who troll this blog just to tell us how much we people make you sick makes me sick.

#65 = closet racist

75 -- good i hope you choke on your own vomit

Count Layoffula made me laugh so hard i'm crying

"How about a post on what's "top market" for severance packages?"

I agree. Do a post on this.

I think I got sick from nailing a CWT NY 05 associate in the poopenschaften.

I'm not a lawyer but I do read this blog a lot. Concordantly, I 1) will talk to you like i know you and 2) secretly hope you continue to make a lot of money so that your taxes can pay my welfare and alimony due to my baby mamma. You guys suck bigtime. Totally.

my CWT NY 05 associate girlfriend sat on my face and now my face is covered with GULC!

Come on 63, 74, and 79, Elie's too lazy to compile severance info.

Bring back Lat!

GM assembly guy here. A layoff from my highbrow line job would be really hard for me, coming just weeks on the heels of SkaddenDC's stealth axe.

/joke with no basis on SkaddenDC (other than a declined offer). Don't freak out. Thanks.

63, 74, 79, 83 . . .

MysTTTal wouldn't dare make a table in which CWTTT were ranked first, even if it were a severance package table.

SkaddenDC is infected with CWTNY05. Better get your shots people.

Somebody better inform whoever this CWT associate is that she has upwards of 10 different diseases and at least 10 different mates. She is probably the one walking around like a cowgirl all the time.

Which firms are best taking care of the associates and staff they are having to let go in this downturn?

I heard Cadwalader offered around 5 or 6 months salary as severance.

Dear xoxo commenters: they miss you over there, and we're sick of you over here. Just go punch your fist into a wall or something instead of posting this crap.
30+ people just lost their jobs and you're conducting a pissing contest?
My sympathies to the recently cut attorney.s

Didn't CWT give its laid-off associates like 8 years' worth of pay? I know this is a pro-associate, anti-PPP blog, but seriously . . .

what were the partners thinking?

CTW Associate STD's > # of cut attorneys. Who's really getting the "raw" deal?

Best of luck guys.

90 -- They weren't thinking. They were all running train on some poor CWT NY 05 chick.

60 is the best comment on here.

As I read about all of these layoffs, I'm actually really impressed with Jenner & Block for laying off equity and non-equity partners (who are nothing more than glorified associates). Partners certainly have more inflated salaries than associates, and therefore cutting partners with little or no business is seems to me to be a much more effective cost saving measure than only cutting associates.

IMO, there really isn't much that a 10th or 11th year non-equity partner could do that a 6th or 7th year associate couldn't do, so the firm isn't losing anything by axing partners. And with the slow down in work, any assignments that can't be done by an assoc. will surely be picked up by another partner.

If firms are really serious about cutting costs and positioning themselves to survive in the short term, they should follow Jenner's lead and take a good look at their p/ship ranks.

Chrysler just hired Jones Day to explore bankruptcy...

90 -

Do you think that a 5-month severance package is excessively generous for an attorney who spent her first 5 years out of law school at a NY firm and was laid off into this market?

In general, what do you think is fair and reasonable severance in this climate?

Well said 60 - - I too am having fun watching this patheticness. (I am a fucking lawyer (like being a lawyer makes you smart)); though hopefully with a little more humility than most on here...?

Somebody better inform whoever this CWT associate is that she has upwards of 10 different diseases and at least 10 different mates. She is probably the one walking around like a cowgirl all the time.

----------------
ummmmmmmmmmm

Oh big black jesus, save me!

Well said 66 not 60

- 97

And now there are two idiots who don't belong. Thanks 100.

I am an associate at CWT in the NY office and these comments need to stop.

47 (Elie) - a thought: i noticed that your comment response writing is much better than your blog post writing (in comment 47 and elsewhere) -- not that your blog post writing is by any means poor.

97/100 might have downs.

96--

Irrespective of whether 5 months' severance is "generous" pursuant to abstract notions of what generosity is, CWT's package seems to have been exquisitely generous in comparison to the packages of other firms, particularly for those happy associates who quickly found jobs and--I know for a fact--were permitted to collect two paychecks through December.

We've got a partner on here bashing Cadwalader for giving a severance package to its laid off employees.

CWT NY 05 associates all have nice severance packages.

105--

Of course, we can't be sure that CWT "beat the market," as you seem to claim, UNLESS MYSTTTAL GETS OFF HIS LAZY ASS AND RANKS SEVERANCE PACKAGES!!!!

Kill the CWT partner! Kill! Kill!

CWT NY 05 ttttttttttroll

What is a CWTNY05?

my gay is bigger than your gay

WSJ: Chrysler hired Jones Day as BK counsel.

95, American Lawyer broke that story December 2. Why hasn't MysTTTal picked up on that one yet.

105 -

So what are you proposing?

Fired employees are not usually required to return their severance if they are fortunate enough to find another job. The monthly Cadwalader payout was a deferred payment package, was it not? If it was all paid up front, would you still object?

First?

113--

I think the point was just that we should know what "generous" is. Mystttal has done a piss-poor job of organizing severance information to make the "market" more transparent.

My g-d, the Chicago market is clearly in the toilet if a Chicago firm is cutting timekeepers in New York, Atlanta, and Boston!!! Run for the plains (as there are no hills), you Chicago folk!!

LAST!!!

Mystal, do a severance package post.

Bottom line: law firms are taking this opportunity to thin their ranks mostly for improving quality, and not because of the money. Although there is a shortage of corporate work, every firm has litigation depts., and those are doing just fine. In the past few years, firms had to compete with bonuses, extra bonuses, and salary increases because there was so little unemployment. Firms are capitalizing on the lack of deals to thin ALL departments, not because they are worried about making money, but because they can. Associates are now desperate to get or keep their jobs. This is a great opportunity to thin the herd. I'm not making a normative judgment, I'm just telling it like it is.

FFFFFFFRRRRAAAANNNKKKUUUSSSSS!!!

Scooped by your own sister site: http://dealbreaker.com/2008/12/chrysler-hires-jones-day-as-ba.php

Seyfarth employees have not received said email as of 12:40 p.m. CST

MPRE RESULTS ARE OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WSJ:

Chrysler LLC has hired the prominent law firm Jones Day as bankruptcy counsel, according to several people familiar with the matter. The firm was hired several weeks ago to help the ailing auto maker prepare for a possible Chapter 11 bankruptcy filing.

113 -

That was 108's point. 90/105 quite clearly has an opinion of what is "generous" and is incensed by the support given by Cadwalader to its laid-off employees.

For example:

"what were the partners thinking?"

"exquisitely generous"

85 NAILED IT!

Why is it that the food in the vending machine has different prices on different floors? Elie - can you get on this? I would really like to know the market price for Doritos. On 45 they are $.85, but they cost $1.00 on 46. While your at it, please figure out what market is for Cheetos and Cheez-its. Chart format would be best. Thanks.

37 NAILED a CWT NY05.

118: Associates are a profit center not a cost center in case you hadn't noticed. If associates are busy, the firm makes money. This is about money, not "quality".

118: Associates are a profit center not a cost center in case you hadn't noticed. If associates are busy, the firm makes money. This is about money, not "quality".

128 - I partially agree. Good or decent associates are a profit center because they contribute. But if associates produce inadequate work that has to be redone, they are a cost center. Yes, I realize that even bad associates make money for the firm for every hour they bill, but that's an expensive dollar if your clients become dissatisfied for paying three people to do the work of one. If allowed to continue, the clients will go elsewhere.

All this talk about layoffs is bumming me out. You need to go back to having happy stories; like BBBJs upstairs at Scores and gangbanged secretaries at bonus parties - you know, like in the good old days.

Severance does NOT seem generous in comparison to the packages given by NY banks.

Dear xoxo commenters: they miss you over there
__________________________________________

Please. There's nobody over there to "miss" them.

"happy stories; like BBBJs upstairs at Scores and gangbanged secretaries at bonus parties "

Or the cheaper BBBJs available now and gangbanged secretaries at layoff parties.

SEVERANCE PACKAGE RANKINGS

at least it is the anniversary of the end of prohibition

sullivan letting another week pass?

I never post, but #30, you're quite possibly the worst writer in the world.

I never post, but #30, you're quite possibly the worst writer in the world.

Does anyone know how many lawyers/staff were let go at Seyfarth NYC?

Count Layoffula, you're the best.

I think I am going to propose to CWTNY 05 even though she doesn't know me.

SEVERANCE PACKAGE RANKINGS SEVERANCE PACKAGE RANKINGS SEVERANCE PACKAGE RANKINGS SEVERANCE PACKAGE RANKINGS SEVERANCE PACKAGE RANKINGS SEVERANCE PACKAGE RANKINGS SEVERANCE PACKAGE RANKINGS SEVERANCE PACKAGE RANKINGS SEVERANCE PACKAGE RANKINGS SEVERANCE PACKAGE RANKINGS SEVERANCE PACKAGE RANKINGS SEVERANCE PACKAGE RANKINGS SEVERANCE PACKAGE RANKINGS SEVERANCE PACKAGE RANKINGS SEVERANCE PACKAGE RANKINGS SEVERANCE PACKAGE RANKINGS SEVERANCE PACKAGE RANKINGS SEVERANCE PACKAGE RANKINGS SEVERANCE PACKAGE RANKINGS SEVERANCE PACKAGE RANKINGS SEVERANCE PACKAGE RANKINGS SEVERANCE PACKAGE RANKINGS SEVERANCE PACKAGE RANKINGS SEVERANCE PACKAGE RANKINGS SEVERANCE PACKAGE RANKINGS

Dear 30:

I'm a lawyer and I respond to those who check and post on this blog for some reason all the time.

I have huge supplies of the things I lack.

What I lack the most is common sense, which underlies your point that I use the very intellectual tools I criticize as naive when used by others, namely consequentialist arguments rather than arguments about truth or falsity.

My thralls are money and prestige crazed at best, and portend the downfall of society at worst. While this is undoubtedly true, we wouldn't currently have a problem with credentialism if it weren't for me.

Although I created the problem, aggravated the problem, and escalated the problem, I insist that I can solve the problem if firms just grant me more power or pay me ever-increasing mega-bonuses just this one year ignoring the fact that our public coffers have run dry.

How naïve do I think you are?

Truly, our society needs my help if we are ever to deal with these relevant facts.

"But I'm only one person," I might protest. "What difference can I make?"

The answer is: a lot more than I think. I have never gotten ahead because of my hard work or innovative ideas or business acumen. Rather, all of my successes are due to double-dealing, economic thuggery, and unsavory cronyism. I can write anything I want about how things would be different were you to give into my demands and let me muster enough force to make conditions far worse than could ever have been the case without my incompetent efforts, but I argue that sacrifice counts for nothing, and merit is equivalent to signaling.

You wish you could suggest some incontrovertible chain of apodictic reasoning that would overcome this argument, but it would be futile. Now that I've written this post, let you challenge me, the author, not just to help you spread the word about my moonstruck scare tactics and me-first attitudes to your friends, your neighbors, your relatives, your co-workers -- even to strangers -- but also to educate others about what you've read.

30 has been bested by 144's incontrovertible chain of apodictic reasoning -- which is mostly consequentialist and equates merit to signaling. No doubt 144 accomplished this by relying on the huge supplies of things she lacks.

30 has been bested by 144's incontrovertible chain of apodictic reasoning -- which is mostly consequentialist and equates merit to signaling. No doubt 144 accomplished this by relying on the huge supplies of things she lacks.

144 - Same words, yet so much more meaning.

144 is bipolar. Classic manic episode unfolds on the comment section of a law firm gossip blog. It's no doc review, but I'll take it.

@ #8

-laid off lawyers generally commit suicide, as they should due to their complete lack of worth in a recessionary economy. Laid off lawyers are just puffy farting trolls in suits with worthless resumes stuffed into desperate leather portfolios just waiting for that lucky break which is oh so not going to happen. they should either stop inhabiting valuable space or go hide in mommy and daddy's basement.

149=EPIC FAIL

144 = attorney with zero billables and facing a layoff on Dec. 24 with zero severance and zero accrued vacation time.

@150

for you, EPIC FAIL = the rent is due

149:

I hope your mother gets raped and left for dead in an alley and your children drown after falling through ice this winter. That is, if anyone ever loved you enough to talk to you after 5pm.

@152

ouchie - turn that frown upside down friend - use some of that energy and go hit up careerbuilder.com!

Damn 152, You're as Cold as ICE!

149 is clearly a zit-faced troll.

154, I agree.

152 is as cold as ice. He's willing to sacrifice our love.
He never takes advice. Someday he'll pay the price, I know.

I've seen it before; it happens all the time.
He's closing the door. He'll leave the world behind.
He's digging for gold.

He's throwing away a fortune in feelings, but someday he'll pay.

I love the internet. Where else would you have the gall to say to someone you don't know, "I hope your mother gets raped and left for dead in an alley and your children drown after falling through ice this winter." Just a hunch, but I have serious doubt about whether the author of this statement is so tough in real life or needs to make such pronouncements on a forum because he or she (probably a he, I'm guessing) has no actual courage or integrity.

Any details on Boston?

Right, 157. Because what 149 said didn't merit a harsh response or anything.

Morale is bad enough as it is. Wish firms/people would stop referring to lawyers as "time keepers". Is this a Brit carryover or what? I don't recall being a "time keeper" couple of years ago. TGIF

151

The rent's been paid with your bonus.

Your pathetic attempt at trolling = EPIC FAIL

Fondly,

150

Seriously 30--while I agree that there's a ton of douches on ATL and in the law in general...you take the cake. Smart people don't need to try to convince people they're smart. Using 50 cent words for their own sake is just plain dumb.

Oh yeah, if you hate us so much why do you waste your time on blogs like this? My guess is that your an unaccomplished d-bag who resents people that are making moves because you wish you had the heart or skill to do something yourself. I could be wrong, but I'll put money on it.

Food for thought just for you: people who talk the loudest (and the most) usually have the least to say.

#20

Read into it what you will but I happen to know for a fact that included in the terminations in Atlanta is at least one partner-level attorney. Lest we not forget the incredible amount of inner-office politics that abound at this firm and in large law firms in general. I have worked with at least two other associates at this firm who, in my opinion, should have been canned a long time ago except for the fact that they happend to be the right gender and on the right partner's goodie list.

#20

Read into it what you will but I happen to know for a fact that included in the terminations in Atlanta is at least one partner-level attorney. Lest we not forget the incredible amount of inner-office politics that abound at this firm and in large law firms in general. I have worked with at least two other associates at this firm who, in my opinion, should have been canned a long time ago except for the fact that they happend to be the right gender and on the right partner's goodie list.

#20

Read into it what you will but I happen to know for a fact that included in the terminations in Atlanta is at least one partner-level attorney. Lest we not forget the incredible amount of inner-office politics that abound at this firm and in large law firms in general. I have worked with at least two other associates at this firm who, in my opinion, should have been canned a long time ago except for the fact that they happend to be the right gender and on the right partner's goodie list.

I have heard from multiple sources that Goulston & Storrs (Amlaw 200 firm w/ large real estate practice based in Boston) did attorney and staff layoffs on Monday.

Goulston & Storrs had atty and staff layoffs on Monday. 40-50 people left.

Goulston laid off 40 staff members. No attorneys were laid off. Managing partner stated that Goulston does not plan to layoff any attorneys. Per the Boston Business Journal as of 12/5 @ 2:06 p.m.

167/168, here's a link http://www.bizjournals.com/boston/stories/2008/12/01/daily73.html

Does anyone at Seyfarth have any specifics on who was let go? Confirmed in Chicago that a paralegal in corporate was let go and unconfirmed is two real estate non-equity partners.