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Non-Sequiturs: 12.19.08

michael jackson.jpg* This celebrity lawsuit round-up has Billie Jean suing Michael Jackson. She says she was his lover, and that his kid is her son. [Popsquire Beat]

* Looking to apply for the federal bail-out? This application is “so simple and easy to use that even Skadden Arps should bill no more than $2.7 million to review it.” [Vanity Fair]

* Law school selling naming rights to everything but the bathroom. [TaxProf Blog]

* U.N.says don’t hate on other people’s religions. [Reuters]

* Laid off? Look at the upside. This associate is celebrating: “Unemployment is awesome. I read books all day, lay out in the sun, watch TV, visit friends (you know, all the stuff you can never do when working for a NY law firm).” [Greedy Associates]

* We love those Alaskan family values. The grandmother of Bristol Palin’s unborn child has been arrested on drug charges. [Politico]

* Biglaw bonuses may be less, but at least they’re in cash. How would you like a “”partner asset facility” in your stocking? (Ed. note: We’re pleased to see the term “half-Skadden” adopted by the WSJ.) [WSJ Law Blog]

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