Notorious B.O.A.L.T. is ‘Born Again,’ but will he pass?
Notorious B.O.A.L.T. is a UC-Berkeley law school student who enjoys setting law school lessons to music. He appeared on our pages before, rapping his way through CivPro.
Now he’s back. Notorious has gone acoustic, but this song embraces the rebellious roots of rock & roll. Notorious writes, “As a protest against the lunacy of the Socratic Method and the staggering lack of imagination on the part of the Boalt Hall administration in clinging to a cobwebbed curriculum, I will not be taking any final examinations this semester.”
“Do the Torts Shuffle” is his submission to Professor Patrick Hanlon in lieu of a written final exam. He asks that Hanlon consider giving him a “sub-standard pass in the course.” Here it is:
We think rapping lends itself more easily to talkin’ ‘bout the law, but this is a worthy effort. The question is: is it a sub-standard pass level effort?
A lyrical excerpt, and speculation about the future of Notorious B.O.A.L.T., after the jump.
Lyrically, we’re impressed. Singing about the standard of care test established in U.S. v. Carroll Towing Co., he incorporates a shout-out to famed judge Learned Hand:
Now Learned Hand, he’ll mangle and maim you And pay out 3 million bucks If it would cost 4 million to save you He’s strictly liable, but you’re strictly f*****
We’re not planning to buy the Notorious B.O.A.L.T. compilation anytime soon, but we look forward to more videos next semester, if Notorious hasn’t failed out by then. Corporate Governance is ripe for a musical interpretation.
Notorious B.O.A.L.T. - Do the Torts Shuffle [YouTube]
Earlier: To The Window; To The Wall; Till The Sweat Drips Down My Boalt?
(85) 
Comments
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Blah blah
I said: Blah. Blah.
FIRST to say Latham is a below-market-paying-TTT
PS -- that's seven this month.
Not that I'm counting.
- 1
Lame.
1,4 -
Douche.
Boalt guy - creativity wasted in the law.
fail.
elie, this is not post-worthy. the song is not funny, and all around blows. it seems to have been nothing more than an excuse for this stupid hipster kid to slide around in his socks. if you're looking for half-decent law-school-related songs, go look up that one from uva about adderall. even that wasn't very funny, but a lot better than this crap.
again... wow. the civ pro rap was better, though.
wow.... what a waste.... that was stupid.
I hope the prof fails this d-bag. He should have just spent his time studying for the exam and then just taken it. I imagine that putting that video together took a lot more time.
A douche is a necessary item for proper hygiene. Posting firsts on a blog -- that has no purpose. Ah, life is funny.
- 1
That was great. Catchy and witty.
Why can't michigan have any singers like this???
:(
I expect big things during Mr. Wolverine next month.
What's really funny is this guy will end up with muliple offers and the Editor of the LR at McGeorge will be chasing ambulances.
fail.
wait? we can choose to not take finals? nobody told me about this.
13: You have nervous T-10 1L! The 2008 ATL Commenter of the Year! Everyone vote!
-not nervous
If this story is true and professors allowed their students to "pass" their course not just without taking an exam but in this ridiculous un-talente fashion, boalTTT should certainly decline in the rankings.
12-
Hi BOALT!
Are you really not taking finals? Do you have a blog? You seem like the kind of guy who would have a blog. Please link, because I know you're out there...watching...counting youtube hits...
Ok, so sweet, so let me know, ok?
Genuinely interested,
T14 1L Ding! from Boalt.
This was pretty good. F the haters whose 80 hour weeks have robbed them of the ability to chuckle.
I liked the rap better, though. But props for the eclectic style, B.O.A.L.T.
I think the prof will reluctantly fail this guy.... Students at Boalt often can get out of taking final exams by doing some other assignment instead (such as writing a final paper), but such alternatives have to be discussed before with the professor. The only way this guy is passing is if the prof would have agreed to this alternative exam ahead of time, and that seems pretty damn unlikely.
-Boalt grad
The Glass Cock commenting that I would love to hire this guy, as there is nothing better than an attorney who thinks that rules are optional and can be ignored so long as the objection is righteous.
I encourage him to continue fighting against the socratic method by taking 10 years to complete law school.
Not half as good as his Civ Pro rap. Disappointing encore.
I think the prof will reluctantly fail this guy.... Students at Boalt often can get out of taking final exams by doing some other assignment instead (such as writing a final paper), but such alternatives have to be discussed before with the professor. The only way this guy is passing is if the prof would have agreed to this alternative exam ahead of time, and that seems pretty damn unlikely.
-Boalt grad
13: Michigan has prostitutes, does that help?
This has to be a joke. Is this loser really submitting this in lieu of a final? EPIC FAIL.
Good but they set the bar high with the civ pro rap, which was legendary.
Fail.
Seriously, this is pathetic.
21, 24-
i don't know. Maybe the prof gave him a certain number of cases he had to summarize. Berkeley is totally hippie like that.
I loved it. And the guy has moves.
What a complete asshole. This guy should do us all a favor and go rent a gun and buy a bullet.
Is it a coincidence that nervous T10 1L disappeared from the comments around the same time the story broke about the UM prostitute...
And I always assumed nervous was a dude...
At least he was playing on a Martin.
29 -
that's really the problem, isn't it? the guy just summarizes a few cases. no analysis whatsoever...which sucks for everyone else having to take the exam and use damn IRAC every paragraph...
whatever though, the guy has balls. he should probably not go into biglaw though, unless he works for glass cock (see above)
-21/24
If these comments are any indication, lawyers have no sense of humor. The video was fun and creative, and an enjoyable distraction from my work day. Sheesh. Can we all lighten up?
Hey, haters.
All 1L's at Boalt take the same in-class final exams, including this guy. This isn't in any way related to grades or an assignment.
-Boalt 2L
Hey, haters.
All 1L's at Boalt take the same in-class final exams, including this guy. This isn't in any way related to grades or an assignment.
-Boalt 2L
If these comments are any indication, lawyers have no sense of humor. The video was fun and creative, and an enjoyable distraction from my work day. Sheesh. Can we all lighten up?
nice, 32
34,
but i'd rather take an exam than write a song.
and is this guy bitching about the socratic method for real? does that qualify him as a wimp?
-29
34 has nailed it. BOALT sang a commercial outline--good for him, it was pretty funny and at least Libel Show level quality--but as an exam, the intellectual content reflected by the song as a whole is worthy of a failing grade because it lacks any analysis.
I wish people at my school would pull stunts like this. I'm sure my grades would go up.
The CivPro song was way better.
Are you guys seriously debating whether this should get him a pass?
Of course not. It is all a big joke, and he is probably just prepping to withdraw after the semester is over (if he really is not taking finals---or rather didn't, since they are over now.)
We are pretty chill over here, but not that chill.
-Boalt 3L
p.s. I love the videos.
lol @ 40 for thinking different capacities of exams require the same thing in order to receive a substandard pass.
"different capacities of exams"
Lay off the paint chips.
So does the statement at the beginning of the video accurately reflect this feller's convictions?
Elevator's a nice touch. There are tons of tort cases from 50 years ago about people getting horribly maimed in malfunctioning elevators. The dance in the video might have ended differently back then.
This guy should get together with that whore from UMich and have retard babies with her.
at least BOALT realized what a fucking waste of time law school is before he found himself working at a firm with one of you miserable slobs, hating life.
6 = 9 upside down
24,
You are full of it.
This is not true "Students at Boalt often can get out of taking final exams by doing some other assignment instead (such as writing a final paper), but such alternatives have to be discussed before with the professor."
A real Boalt grad.
A) If this guy thinks he's proving a point, I think that he and his audience either missed it or don't care.
B) This song was god awful. The video was god awful. He can't sing. He can't really play. The lyrics are, at best, mediocre. And anyone who complains that I'm being critical can grow up. This isn't kindergarten. We don't all have to support someone's "creativity."
C) If I were his professor, I'd fail him. I would take no joy in it, but it truly would be what he deserved.
Ugh.
51. "but such alternatives have to be discussed before with the professor"
As if we were all thinking that Bolt students can simply not show up for the final, drop some random paper in the professor's mailbox, then take off for the holidays.
I should have gone to Boalt.
-CLS 3L
boalt is such a TTT
I'd like to challenge all of the haters out to there to produce something better. It occurs to me it is much easier to tear down the efforts of others than built up something of value yourself. Not a bad effort by the kid; if I was the professor I would pass him. But I wouldn't necessarily give it an A...
CivPro was way, way, way better.
56 = notorious tard?
this is SO. AMAZINGLY. CREATIVE.
Who would ever, in a ZILLION years, think of making a youtube video???? Truly, a rare genius here.
Hope whomevers shat him out its collective womb has money.
Doctors and nurseses? I'm transferring to Columbia.
Guys at my high school used to turn their backs on finals in favor of making silly music videos all the time, it was no big deal.
Completely agree that I deserve to fail, but I figured it would be funny to make a plea for a substandard pass. In the end it's a moot point since I've already withdrawn from Boalt and won't be going back to school again.
Also agree that the Civ Pro rap was way better - it was much funnier and had cooler dancing. It's also hard to write a four-chord progression that's going to beat a Dr. Dre beat.
Sorry that some of you didn't enjoy the video, but I definitely had fun during the day it took to research, write, record, and film it.
Thanks to everyone who responded positively to the video and took it as the lark it was mean to be.
49 - respect.
If you want to check out my other bizarro exams (a science fiction short story and a polemic on the socratic method), click on the link below.
http://www.geocities.com/acilbupser/finals.html
1L wasn't that bad. How did it fuck you up this bad?
Anyway, sweet videos.
Can ATL get a comment from the professor on whether he accepts videos in lieu of finals?
He should have stuck to rapping. Berkeley had a singing, guitar-strumming 1L two years ago, and Josh Keesan was much better than this wannabe.
64 -
I'm pretty sure this guy didn't stick around long enough to find out.
54:
No, you should have gone to NYU
62: enjoyed the diversion. I commend your decision to quit law school, but you should have taken the final. Real OG's don't take the easy way out.
Enjoy your career in gay porn.
meh, not impressed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N8ABhatAfsA is faaaaaar better
this guy needs to fucking lighten up. all this bitching about the socratic method and the nervous tension it builds-- its fucking school for christ's sake. who cares if you get something wrong? it's not like you're a fucking professor. the professors at boalt (yes, i go there) are generally very chill and aren't going to fucking crucify you if you get something wrong or miss a line of logic. jesus-- get over yourself.
This guy is a California douche.
Total. Lack. Of. Judgment.
You are the weakest link; goodbye.
i enjoyed it. it's creative and silly. if you don't like it, so be it. but it doesn't make the guy weak, a California douche, or any of the other names you sad people flung. project much?
The guy's rant against Socratic method is ridiculous, although the videos are brilliant.
Looks like this guy got to law school, realized he wasn't the smartest guy in the room, so he rejected the whole process.
love the videos. this guy is smarter and funnier than 99.9% of the people in law.
Are you idiots really stupid and boring enough to think he actually didn't take his exams? Really? You are? Really? Come on, he wanted to have some fun and make a video, take the edge off, entertain himself and a few others.
Here's his old website:
http://welchmath.blogspot.com/
And apparently this isnt his first education-related rant:
http://www.wickedlocal.com/brookline/archive/x1649542350
I wonder if he is related to Peter Welch, Boalt '73, and current U.S Representative from Vermont?
Either way, he is an egomaniacal toolbag.
Fail
Heh, if I had tenure, I might consider giving him the sub P. What does it matter if he's dropping out?
How did he get up on the bear? I'm surprised the thing didn't fall over.
-Boalt 3L
62 - I liked the "One-El" story. Pretty good...
One semester away from graduation @ Boalt, and I still sympathize with you on the sentiment that law school is pointless - destination pods without any destination, as you said.
Mr. Internet Sleuth (aka 76) turning up your old blog makes me think you were a pretty damn good teacher. Why not go back?
62 - I liked the "One-El" story. Pretty good...
One semester away from graduation @ Boalt, and I still sympathize with you on the sentiment that law school is pointless - destination pods without any destination, as you said.
Mr. Internet Sleuth (aka 76) turning up your old blog makes me think you were a pretty damn good teacher. Why not go back?
Boalt is wonderful.
P.S. 78, I was wondering the same thing!
79 - Thanks.
Am actually planning on going back into teaching next fall. May even step up from middle school to the big leagues (HS Social Studies).
73 - The rant is a bit exaggerated, I'll give you that, but I do believe that the Socratic method contributes to the general ridiculous atmosphere of law school. As for being "the smartest person in the room," that's not really my thing; just trying to find something that will make me happy, and realized one semester too late that the law wasn't it. If other people feel that the law is for them, I'm genuinely happy for them.
76 - No relation to any former Boalties. Don't see how spending time making a blog for my students makes me an egomaniac, or how a carefully reasoned article about my experience teaching qualifies as a rant, but it's good to know I have such dedicated and resourceful fans.
70 - I don't mind getting things wrong - do it all the time. And you're right that professors at Boalt are generally chill and are not going to "crucify" you. But I still stand by my claim that the Socratic method makes for some dreadfully boring and un-engaging classes, and that students would learn more and be less stressed out under different instructional methods.
You are all miserable people. You're so miserable you can't even take a second to laugh at this without shitting on it. This guy isn't letting law school suck the creativity out of him unlike the rest of you, who are so clearly bitter that it already has. And instead of commending him, you're being the typical condescending law students who think they are so much better than everyone else and calling him a loser and stupid. It's ok to be creative, intuitive, and different every once in while. The most successful people often are. And, WHO CARES IF HE PASSES OR NOT. IT'S NOT YOUR LIFE. So stop commenting on it. The countless bashings by law students just make the video even funnier and more commendable.
- Angry 1L who is not going to end up miserable like you
83: Amen.
83 and 84 good luck not ending up miserable. =)
I agree that people's comments here are generally really mean. That's what makes law school suck. All the freaking mean people. People are so stuck on themselves that they try to shoot everyone else down (way to go, guys!). You know, this didn't really have the analysis you'd like to see in a law school exam, but it was nicely done and pretty entertaining. Took some balls to go from rap to this "shuffle". People will still be watching his civ pro rap in 10 years.
Too bad you won't be in the profession. Hope teaching high school is fun for you, bro. Actually, I'm sure it will be. Just can't make 300k a year doing it.
Depending on what you do, actual practice is not as stressful as being grilled by Socrates everyday. However, if you're drafting contracts all day (like me), could get boring. To the extent current law school curriculum accustoms you to the boredom, it could be a good thing. But, yeah, when I think about it there's no other real reason a corporate lawyer needs the Socratic method...