Pls Hndle Thx:Do Not Seek Unto God's Privity

[Ed Note: Do you have a question for next week? Send it in to advice@abovethelaw.com]

Hi ATL,

I am a 3L with an offer from a V50 firm. I, like many of my peers, am extremely nervous about having my offer revoked if the economy continues to tank. Should I contact my firm and ask whether they plan on keeping me on board? 3L recruiting is over so I’d be screwed because I have loans.

Ask And Ye Shall Receive

Dear Ask And Ye Shall Receive,

GREAT idea! If you haven’t heard anything from them and haven’t read news of your firm’s collapse on ATL, definitely call up your firm and ask if they plan to fire you before you start! That’ll show them that you’ve got confidence in the firm while reminding them that the summer associate program is a complete money pit! Remember to follow up with an invoice for your BAR/BRI fees that says “pls hndle thx.”

Your question reminds me of a riddle: you are faced with two identical doors, one leading to heaven guarded by an angel and the other guarded by the Devil that leads to hell. The angel and Devil are physically indistinguishable, and you are permitted to ask one yes/no question of one guardian to determine which door is which. Asking your firm “will you revoke my offer” is like asking the guardians “which door will lead me to heaven?” The Angel will tell the truth and the Devil will lie, and you’ll still have no idea where to go. If a recruiter says “no, your offer stands” you’ll have absolutely no way to know if she’s telling you the truth. If a firm plans to revoke your offer or cancel the summer program, they’re going to notify you on their own time and not on whatever day you happen to call Cindy from recruiting. Even if Cindy tells you that your offer still stands, that does not prevent the firm from revoking it tomorrow or the day before your start date. And unless she’s the Oracle at Delphi, she also can’t predict whether the firm will go bankrupt prior to the summer.

Look – even if recruiting hires Ashton Kutcher to jump out of the bushes, rescind your offer and announce that you’ve been punk’d, all that does at this point is give you a head start on worrying. By your own admission, 3L recruiting season is over and you’d be screwed anyway. So instead of asking your firm for information, do something that might actually get you an answer, like consulting your natal chart or pouring libations on Agamemnon’s tomb.

Your friend,

Sponsored

Marin

Elie’s seance after the jump.

At the end of the day there’s another day dawning

And the sun in the morning is waiting to rise

Like the waves crash on the sand

Like a storm that’ll break any second

There’s a hunger in the land

There’s a reckoning still to be reckoned and

There’s gonna be hell to pay

At the end of the day!

The sad reality is that whether or not your firm rescinds your offer is a decision that is completely out of your hands. Things are bad all over and it’ll get worse before it gets better.

You should probably call, but the best thing you can do at this point is keep your grades up and your contacts active.

From there … do you have a particular deity you trust? There are no atheists in foxholes.

Iman of the Rabbinical Priesthood,

Elie

Indeed; one way to make it “get worse before it gets better” is to take Elie’s advice and call your firm.

Sponsored