A Depressing “Happy Holidays” from Grodsky & Olecki
California firm Grodsky & Olecki likes to have fun with its annual end-of-the-year holiday card. The firm likes them so much that it keeps cards dating back to 2003 archived on its site. In recent years, the firm has humorously touched on the Writers Guild strike, red state-blue state divide, and malfunctioning voting machines. Suffice to say, the firm has a quirky sense of humor.
This year’s card is edgy, and certainly less cloying than Cadwalader’s. Here’s the gloomy front of the card:
Shouldn’t J.P. Morgan’s name really be on that certificate, c/o the American taxpayer? And do we actually want to be reminded of bail-outs in holiday cards this season? To lift your spirits again, check out name partner Allen Grodsky doing a yoga headstand pose on his bio page.
And check out the festive (at least in coloration) backside of the card, after the jump.
Here’s the flip side of the card. It seems like the left and the right should be reversed, but we quibble:
Though it says “whichever side you’re on, we hope your stock rises,” those sympathetic to the stickers on the right have seen a greater appreciation in their assets in the last few months. We hope this doesn’t scare away Grodsky’s Republican clients.
Earlier: Cadwalader: Where ‘Human Resources’ Is a Term of Art
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Comments
First
first
first.
Bitches.
- First
I think it's funny.
First to say Grodsky needs a new dentist.
I never understood people who make decent money, yet have horrible teeth. I would never hire this guy as my lawyer for the sole reason that he clearly does not have enough self-awareness - or common sense - to get his teeth fixed and cleaned.
http://www.grodsky-olecki.com/bios/attorneyBiosAllen.html
7 - YOU are a douche !
@7 Did you read his bio?!? He has a "multitude" of cats...Men W/ Cats= FAIL
6 and 7 are right on. the multiple, crystal-clear close ups of his disgusting grill makes me want to vomit. it really takes away from the hotness of the female associate, who is obviously looking for it. she went to a TTT and works at a TTT, so obviously it should be an easy kill for someone as prestigious as myself...
Is this actually a five-lawyer firm? And we're supposed to care about them?
The former venerable Goldstein & Howe it ain't.
8's right, but that's one busted grill. So I'm a douche too. A douche with better teeth.
Grodsky's teeth are horrid.
Grodsky's teeth are horrid.
Ok, so the back side of the card made perfect sense to me... until I looked in the top left corner. What the F is that? An FBI wanted ad on the Republican side? I don't get it.
http://www.ldlkm.com/attorneys/staff_partner_bruce_sales.asp
These teeth are great too
Judging from his teeth, I'd bet good money that he is a diabetic. That doesn't mean he can't get them fixed, but at least it explains it away a bit.
BITCH SPREAD THE BUTT CHEEKS SO I CAN SMELLS THE JUICY INSIDES!
15 - It's the FBI wanted poster for Bill Ayers.
As someone who wore braces as an adult I can tell you they make you far more self-concious than your bad teeth. (It is impossible to eat without getting food stuck in them, makes going out to lunch quite the nerve-wracking experience.) Although I must say the results are worth it...
Grodsky should definitely invest in some orthodontic work.
This is actually pretty cute. Nice to see a small firm with a sense of humor. Is "Omigod vote for Dodd" a real sticker? It feels like it was written by a 14 year old.
This is actually pretty cute. Nice to see a small firm with a sense of humor. Is "Omigod vote for Dodd" a real sticker? It feels like it was written by a 14 year old.
16: i think that partners googly eye would turn me off more as a client. i'd constantly have to worry if he was looking at me or out his office window.
"And do we actually want to be reminiscent of bail-outs in holiday cards this season?"
Reminiscent? try REMINDED
At least the attorney named "Morehead" isn't the one doing the handstand.
dropped off the money exactly as per... look, man, I've got certain information, all right? Certain things have come to light. And, you know, has it ever occurred to you, that, instead of, uh, you know, running around, uh, uh, blaming me, you know, given the nature of all this new shit, you know, I-I-I-I... this could be a-a-a-a lot more, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, complex, I mean, it's not just, it might not be just such a simple... uh, you know?
Ill tell you what I'm blathering about... I've got information man! New shit has come to light! And shit... man, she kidnapped herself. Well sure, man. Look at it... a young trophy wife, in the parlance of our times, you know, and she, uh, uh, owes money all over town, including to known pornographers, and that's cool... that's, that's cool, I'm, I'm saying, she needs money, man. And of course they're going to say that they didn't get it, because... she wants more, man! She's got to feed the monkey, I mean uh... hasn't that ever occurred to you, man? Sir?
Now begins the rule of pain.
http://nutrias.org/rat.jpg
20 - Meh, I had braces as an adult too. Not that big of a deal once you get over the weirdness the first month or two. In the end, you either have an ugly mouth that looks shit for your whole life, or you have an ugly mouth that at least looks like progress for a couple years. This guy looks like shit.
All the cards are cute, but I like the ones with the doggie lawyers the best.
8 YOU are a douche!
Dear Douche Patrol,
You are my favorite poster. I think I am falling in love with you.
Love,
Your mom
You guys are a bunch of psycho idiots. Who cares about someone's teeth. I'm sure you are all supermodels. I'm a client of this guy and he is one of the smartest, most honest, hard working, and friendly people in the legal profession. For those of you who said you wouldn't hire him, don't worry about it, he has no time for you anyway because he is in big demand by people who don't obsess about teeth, but rather look for brains and track record. You guys are the most superficial cowards to make asinine comments on a blog where no one knows who you are. Do you act like this in public?
I'm with you #34. Why is it that whomever oversees this blog doesn't remove the pornographic sophistry that has permeated this site of late. It's hard to find the worthwhile comments amongst all the filth.
Wow, 33 is right -- 32, aka Douche Patrol, that was fantastic. Thank you for a big laugh in these grim grim times.
I'm in love with this law firm' nice to see someone who doesn't take themselves so f***ing seriously (or think so highly of themselves because they are *gasp* an attorney!)
The teeth were really the first thing you noticed? Not the grey soul patch?