Top Biglaw Stories of 2008: #5 (Gossip)
This morning, as part of our 2008 in Review series, we started to list the top 10 Biglaw stories of 2008. We kicked things off with the #5 story on the business side of the ledger: the trend of law firms granting more generous parental leave.
Now, on to the fun stuff: the year’s top five stories of a more gossipy nature. As we did before, we’ll start with number five and work our way up the list.
For the fifth-ranked gossip story, we actually have a two-way tie. Both stories share a common theme: sex and bad judgment.
Read about the #5 stories, after the jump.
5. Those aren’t my Herpes… Then whose Herpes are they?
Here’s the West headnotes version. Kirkland & Ellis partner Frederick Tanne sued his wife, alleging that she had an affair, contracted herpes, and gave it to him. Alas, based on blood testing, it now seems that Mrs. Tanne does not have genital herpes — but Mr. Tanne does.
The LSAT has a logical reasoning section, so we’ll let you connect the dots. For a more detailed write-up, see Kash’s original post.
5. ‘Respectfully, I think he’s just referring to the fact that he can see your breasts.’
The bad judgment in this second story is less egregious; it’s of a sartorial rather than sexual nature. But it still led to embarrassing results, in the form of a witness calling out a lawyer at a deposition for (presumably inadvertently) revealing attire. Wardrobe malfunctions: they’re not just for Janet Jackson any more.
If you missed the story when it came out, or if you’d like to refresh your recollection, just click here. Of the almost 200 comments on Kash’s post, we especially appreciated these:
“The prior 165 pages of the deposition are all him mumbling ‘yes…yes…’ in response to all of her impeaching questions, so it was a pretty smart move, all things considered.”“When I start up a depo, I usually flop my dong out on the table just so people know what kind of girl they are dealing with.”
“You flop your DONG on the table so they know what GIRL they are dealing with…. Interesting…”
“4:10, yeah, that’s the joke. Congrats on keeping up with the pack, there, champ.”
To quote the last line of the transcript: “I’m done for the day.”
Earlier: Those aren’t my Herpes… Then whose Herpes are they?
‘Respectfully, I think he’s just referring to the fact that he can see your breasts.’
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Comments
holy shit this is retarded
That breasts/deposition story is a classic....
I assume that we have a tie for fifth place?
The commenters on ATL are retarded - look at the comments in the blue box.
first
3 - Yes. Paragraph three:
"For the fifth-ranked gossip story, we actually have a two-way tie. Both stories share a common theme: sex and bad judgment."
One of the banner ads in the ATL rotation is for Swanson Turkey broth. Not the expensive soup or dinner tray ($5.99)--but just the damn can of broth! Shrewd marketing by the fine folks at Swanson.
This shouldn't have been a tie. The breasts story is much better than the herpes story.
8: they are both legitimately funny, especially if you work at the NY office of K&E. How can you not snicker to yourself when you see Mr. Tanne come around the corner? Actually, I'd make a point to turn the other way. Also I wouldn't touch the bathroom he frequented at the firm. Call me old-fashioned.
8 - Feel the opposite way.
The breast story is soo much funnier.
LATHAM SUCKS EVIL COCK!!!
11 - The comments on that transcript were relatively innocuous -- everybody kept it civil and cordial, there were no punches thrown and no obscenities used. Somebody was wearing clothing that was a bit too revealing, and somebody else commented on it. No big deal.
But the herpes story? Sue somebody for giving you herpes when they don't even have herpes, and, in fact, you got herpes from cheating on THEM? I mean, actually file this as a lawsuit and make it a public record? Wow. Beyond the far side.
11, ok, the transcript is not THAT funny...but there's a nice buildup and a pretty good punch line. Plus there's a funny image--a ferocious litigatrix with her titties out.
On the other hand, I bet this he said/she said std stuff comes up in about 5% of divorces...herpes, warts, etc. And it's not like it's clear that he's lying--the doc is HER DAD. And even if she did test negative, those herpes tests have a high rate of false negatives. Would be a bit funnier if it was clear that he was lying. And there's no funny image. Seeing a professional woman's titties through her shirt is a funny image. A herpes sore is not.
"If you didn't give me herpes, who did?" is WAAAAAAAAY funnier and a way bigger deal than some dude noticing a woman's breasts, which happens like every second of every day.
13, I'd much rather laugh at your herpes sore than at someone ogling my girlfriend's breasts.
Wait, 15, are you trying to say that your GF got TFed by some lawyer with herpes? You're right, that's not funny at all.
ms. b is so fine...do you think she would wgwag?
1-17: GFY!!! I am FIRST in MY book!!!
Earth to 18, your book doesn't count. "First" means there is a gray number one (1) on the left of your post.
19, Fail. Right of your post.
Earth to 20, it's on the left when you're looking at it in a mirror....oh Snap!
Who is Ms. B? Which law firm?
Ms. B is Ms. Boobies.
The transcript shows that her last name begins with "b." I am curious what her actual last name is.
Ms. B. to Full Frontal!
21,
Damn, you're right! Foiled again... and I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling kids!
- 20
this story is so lame. what is wrong with u ppl. get a real life.
does this mean I should apply to law school?
Sidley AusTTTin and Arnold and PorTTTer are rancid toilets. Sorry about your tiny pink Latham rejection letter bro.
She's quite the clitigator.
If comments on a post get closed by ATL management, you know it must have been good. :-)
I suppose you think that this is titillating.