Now that we’re a few days into 2009, we’re going to pick up the pace in our 2008 round-up posts. Some of you are getting impatient. Complained a commenter: “At this rate, we’re going to get to #1s sometime in June.”

So, onward. We previously wrote about the #5 gossip story in Biglaw. Today we’re going to hit two birds with one stone, announcing the #4 and #3 stories in law firm land (on the gossipy side; the hard news / business stories are on a separate list).

Although they’re not in the top two, these tales were in some respects the most fun for us to cover. Take a trip down memory lane, after the jump.

4. How To Get Fired (or Asked To Resign) from Sullivan & Cromwell

In a pair of posts, here and here, we wrote about a colorful character called the Sullivan & Cromwell douchebag (aka “DB”). He had an unfortunate habit of running his mouth in ways that offended women, minorities, gays, and most other groups under the sun. After getting a bit overzealous in his entertaining of summer associates, he was asked to depart from S&C.

So DB was booted from Biglaw — but don’t feel sorry for him. First, he’s still filthy rich (as he would surely remind you himself). Second, because he’s no longer practicing law, he doesn’t really care what lawyers think of him. Third, he’s not even in the United States any more (which is going down the tubes anyway). He’s in Asia, where he’s a principal in an educational consulting business.

Based on what we know about the Far East — everything we know about Asia we learned from the Asia Chronicles — DB should fit right in.

3. Sapphic Summers in Lesbianic Lip-Lock

On the whole, perhaps due to the faltering economy and fears of getting no-offered, summer 2008 boasted relatively few summer associate scandals. It led us to wonder: “Where Have All the Summer Associate Scandals Gone?”

Almost immediately after we posed the question, a fabulous scandal landed in our lap. As summed up by one source:

[T]wo female Lindquist & Vennum summer associates were recently fired (within the last week)…. [T]he rumor is that they were drunk at some sort of firm social event (one that had partners present), and started to make out with each other.

The rumor turned out to be true, and the controversy lasted for the better part of a week. Were the summer associates fired unfairly, on the basis of actual or perceived sexual orientation? Did the firm treat them more harshly because they were women, having tolerated more egregious misbehavior from male SAs in the past? Were the two summers treated as scapegoats, fall gals for broader debauchery? Alas, most of these questions were left unanswered.

What happened to our fearless heroines after summer was over? We don’t know their fates. We reached out to them by email, but they did not respond to our queries. Did they land new jobs? It’s not clear.

But given the terrible economy and lousy recruiting season, perhaps their indiscretions amounted to harmless error. Even model summer associates were getting no-offered across the country, then having no luck landing replacement gigs in fall recruiting.

If you had to pick a summer in which to “go rogue,” summer 2008 was probably a good one to pick.

Earlier: How To Get Fired from Sullivan & Cromwell (Part 1)
How To Get Fired (or Asked To Resign) from Sullivan & Cromwell (Part 2)
Prior ATL coverage of Lindquist & Vennum