This is what it has come to -- stories about parking in other people's spots? Holy shit! Stop the presses!

This is actually a good post. It's funny and well written.

I mean, jeeze #2, you want him just to post layoff after layoff all day long?

Good post.

I love this post.

I love this post. Tired of hearing about all the negative in the legal world. I vote that on Monday Above the Law only post positive or funny stories for the whole day. No need to hear about layoffs.

This is one of the funniest post Elie has ever written. I think he is finally getting good at this.

I like this post too. A pleasant Friday night surprise, having nothing to do with layoffs or salary freezes.

I don't get the bat and pigeon references. Can someone explain?

If you don't get the pigeon reference, then you have never lived in a city with a population over 100,000 people.

I love the post. more funny asides are needed. and i just can't wait to be a W&C summer. I'm sure I'll be deploying the pigeons.

Thank you, Elie. Despite what people say, perhaps you are underpaid.

I wonder what fired Cooley and Morgan Lewis associates think of this move?

#8, let's turn on our brain, k?

pigeons = poop, so (applying IRAC)
issue: visitors want parking spots for their clean, pretty cars
rule: pigeons poop
application: pigeons poop on customer's cars
conclusion: customers are angry

bats = poop. . .at night!
so, using IRAC, I think you can go there yourself.

I think the idea is that bats eat pigeon poop as one of their main sources of nourishment, so after the pigeons do their thing the bats will clean it up

I agree, this is a great story. However, the correct phrase would "you've got another THINK coming".

174, xoxo

3-7, 9, 11, 15 = Elie.

W&C is so bad ass!

:golf clap:

15: you're joking, right? Better work on basic literacy before the OCI season hits.

I LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEE this Post. I love it, I love it, I love it.

I feel really bad for you law students. The legal market is in shambles. Good luck getting a job.

Those of you with odious personalities are definitely out of luck. Now that firms are in the driver seat, there is no way they are going to hire you. That's unfortunate, but also is a very refreshing change.

Yes, the law students who will be unemployed include 1, 2, 3, 4,...,21. Maybe not 7 -- he or she seems normal and smart. 13 is definitely SOL. As someone posted in a different thread, that person should probably use their student loans to buy a boat and sail away.

I believe 21 has said something positive and non-controversial.

If you are the poster and would like a spot in my new "administration to wreck the United States for the next two generations," give me a shout. As long as you helped out with my campaign - I think I can get some tax money to make a position for you.

- O

P.S. - Who's your president?

21 = racist

Indeed, law students will feel quite used when they finish with 200K in debt and ever expanding interest and end up not being able to run the fry-a-lator as fast as the high school kids.

19 = racist

23 needs some bats to clean the skid marks off his shorts. It's hard to keep it all inside when when cleverly laying the smack down on students like himself.

20, maybe you've got another think coming:

"You have another think coming"
"If you think that, you have another think coming" means "You are mistaken and will soon have to alter your opinion". This is now sometimes heard with "thing" in place of "think", but "think" is the older version. Eric Partridge, in A Dictionary of Catch Phrases, gives the phrase as "you have another guess coming", "US: since the 1920s, if not a decade or two earlier". Clearly "think" is closer to "guess" than "thing" is. The OED gives a citation with "think" from 1937, and no evidence for "thing".

Dear law students,

I hope you're all doing well. The stress of law school is bad enough, and I can't imagine what it's like to have added to that stress the prospect of no employment. I feel for you.

If I may offer some unsolicited advice, out of prudence please consider a Plan B. Perhaps you can be my butler.

30--You are a total douche. Wow.

Dear 31,

Yes, I am. But, you are f*cked in this market.

Yours,
30

This sucks. All I ever wanted was to do was to law school and make boatloads of money. My big firm dream is shattered.

This sucks. All I ever wanted was to do was to law school and make boatloads of money. My big firm dream is shattered.

Excellent post. I've been in that huge, confusing parking lot. Kudos to W&C for filling their time with this bizzare assertion of power. Nothing says "we don't have enough billable work" than blocking off parking spots in a lot that never fills to capacity.

35: That lot is a pain to park in when you're trying to get to an interview. Luckily, I am not working at any firm in that horribly fugly "Square" this summer. Do they even still have work?

I like to post at 2am

"You have another think coming"
"If you think that, you have another think coming" means "You are mistaken and will soon have to alter your opinion". This is now sometimes heard with "thing" in place of "think", but "think" is the older version. Eric Partridge, in A Dictionary of Catch Phrases, gives the phrase as "you have another guess coming", "US: since the 1920s, if not a decade or two earlier". Clearly "think" is closer to "guess" than "thing" is. The OED gives a citation with "think" from 1937, and no evidence for "thing". Merriam-Webster Editorial Department writes: "When an informal poll was conducted here at Merriam-Webster, about 60% of our editors favored 'thing' over 'think,' a result that runs counter to our written evidence."
From The alt.usage.english FAQ File

I like to post at 3 and share my amusement.

Claudio the Law Failure:
A Poem

Once upon a time,
there was a boy.

His name was Claudio.
His game was drinking.

He demanded a ride,
And threatened the cops.

And got his poor self sent
to Riker's Island.

He woke up today,
and realized he failed.

He knows he's a failure.
A failure-failure-failure.

Claudio, that's him.
Claudio, the failure.

FIRST

I am sick and tired of law firms that think they're the best.

This is not fair.

I'm gonna make paper airplanes out of those silly warning notices and throw them through your window.

I DARE YOU TO TOW MY CAR. I DARE YOU.

43 - don't dare too much dumbass. You're not paying the lots, so shut up. If you're a lawyer, you're just pathetic.

I thought this was a great post. Pretty funny.

Has Elie really managed to lower our expectations to the point that this (THIS) is considered a "great post"? Sad.

WhiTTTe & Case

WhiTTTe & Case sold us out.

30/32--1 here. I have a clerkship followed by a job at a firm that has not been impacted negatively by this market so far.

You, however, are still a total douche notwithstanding the state of the market.

30/32--31 here. I have a clerkship followed by a job at a firm that has not been impacted negatively by this market so far.

You, however, are still a total douche notwithstanding the state of the market.

The only thing worse than the people who reply to others' responses are the people who comment on them.

-Pot

31,

Dude, nothing is fucked. Come on. You're being very unDude.

14 might totally be right about bats eating pigeon poop as their primary source of nutrition (or he could be wrong, or he could be completely sarcastic...), but I thought the "releasing the bats" was just figurative language for someone being batshit crazy (a phrase elie's quotes multiple times in other posts). anyway, maybe elie could chime in here and explain what he meant??

Elie,

I'm in agreement with the posters above that this is one of your better posts. In addition to its ability to scoop more mainstream outlets (Amlaw, WSJ), this site became popular due to Lat's great writing and wittiness.

It is obviously harder to this type of thing now than it was in the golder age of BIGLAW, but don't lose your sense of humor.

Keep it up.

pigeons & bats = SNL reference

We can't stop here, this is bat country.

51/Pot is referring to himself. He is one of those "worse" people that comments on others' responses. Ha ha ha. What a loser. What a dork. What a failure.

What a fucker.

Strange how negotiations for parking slots can me made and achieved, but not a finger is raised to save the jobs of those that were layed off. You can see where their priorities are

Strange how negotiations for parking slots can be made and achieved, but not a finger is raised to save the jobs of those that were layed off. You can see where their priorities are

Strange how negotiations for parking slots can be made and achieved, but not a finger is raised to save the jobs of those that were layed off. You can see where their priorities are

Strange how negotiations for parking slots can be made and achieved, but not a finger is raised to save the jobs of those that were layed off. You can see where their priorities are

The parking lot is rarely full. It's a small building with enough spaces for everyone (just Google Map it to see). W&C's Palo Alto office is also pretty small. Looks like about 30 attorneys. Odd to be doing this.

29/38: You are PWN3D by Judas Priest.

*smack*

I am an associate at Goodwin Procter in Boston. I am posting this randomly in the White & Case comments, but only because the last Goodwin story on abovethelaw.com was a couple weeks ago and the real story has not been told on this blog. Goodwin is conducting stealth layoffs weekly. Each Friday, they break the bad news to midlevel and senior associates and senior counsel. Several friends of mine who billed 2400+ hours in 2008 were just given their walking papers. They insist on couching these layoffs as performance-related, when the reality is obvious - the Goodwin partners are more interested in padding their bottom line than rewarding loyal employees who have worked their tails off for Goodwin for years. The morale at GP Boston is low, productivity is low (because we all sit around on Thursdays and Fridays and wait for an unwanted visit from HR), and as soon as the market picks up (if it ever does), I am out of here (assuming I am still here). Where is Marty McFly when you need him? I would love to go tell the 2004 me to pick Wilmer instead of Goodwin.

This is friggin' awesome. Gotta love taking advantage of a down market by waging war for parking spaces. Updates as they become available, please. I can't wait until this comes to blows. Men in $3,000 suits fighting over where they park their $100,000 cars. Let's get ready to rumble, biyatch.

"Guest of White & Case"? ROFL, now I've heard it all!! No clients go to this shitbucket mediocrity! Even in the good days White & Case was always a garbage dump firm. I can only image how dumb someone must be to have to work there...I hear they hire grads from New York Law School.

66, no one in the Silicon Valley wears suits.

I have a parking space with my name on it. No one parks there and of course White Trash & Case ain't allowed in the building. But I shouldn't feel guilty because my firm is only paying $390 psf for my office per month, and I often get to see Brytnney and Lindsey swimming naked. Get back to work bitches. Earn your living like I do.

Why does an office with one or two clients need 12 guest parking spaces?

Any news on the rumored Kirkland layoffs?

65 - folks in corporate? How long do they stay on the website? Want to check in on some friends.

#65 -- Goodwin is indeed trying to fly under the radar. They are not prepared to fess up to their own stealth layoffs. But hopefully the truth will come out eventually.

I am going to work at a firm that has no t's in its name.

Oh, and:

WhiTTTe & Case

Goodwin ProcTTTor

Goodwin layoffs?? Which offices? Only attorneys or also staff?

5 is an active Republican and an avid watcher of Fox News.

76 is a complete idiot.

74 doesn't know how to pay attention to detail. It's Goodwin Procter, not Goodwin Proctor. Now go home and cry.

I went and saw Waltz for Bashir at Cinearts in the building and enjoyed using the W&C parking spots after hours. They truly are the most ridiculously prime spots possible in that garage.

Shared parking garages are for cheapos though. Real firms get their own buildings and private lots.

- Wilson Sonsini associate across the street

parking spots are for non-dedicated attorneys who do not live close enough to walk to the office.

Goodwin Procter New York is at least as bad, if not worse..

If White & Case comes to Chicago they'll learn to block parking spaces with lawn chairs, trash cans, empty kegs, and other debris. It's free, easy, and aesthetically pleasing in a city that values good taste in ribs, architecture, and parking

#67 - Oh you poor, jaded soul. Methinks thou doest protest too much. Tell us, Skippy, who hurt you? Why the sad face? How 'bout a Red Bull or two and hitting those books. Turn that frown upside down :-)

What rumored K&E layoffs?

This is nothing! Fenwick has parking spaces marked "Hybrid Cars Only."

This is nothing! Fenwick & West's prime parking spaces are marked "Hybrid Cars Only."