Firsty for blood.

This suit sucks.

awful. waste of 1's and 0's. just because some idiot does something stupid, doesn't mean it is the kind of stupidity that bears repeating.

"May I please the court?" No, Jonathan, you most certainly may not.

First to say "More Lithium, Please"

re: 6
It's "May IT please the Court." Not "I."

STONE COLD SEZ THIS SPEECH MIGHT ADVOCATE THE OVERTHROW OF THE US GOVERNMENT BY VIOLENT MEANS BUT IT AIN'T NO REAL LIKELIHOOD IT'LL CAUSE IMMINENT AND SUBSTANTIAL HARM, YA SONOFABITCH!!

"But let's pretend it was filed it on Ash Wednesday."

Way to go Elie!

re: 7 - i think five clearly knew that and was making fun of the guy. you are an idiot.

Did I read that right? Did he ask for the whole state of Minnesota? That seems a bit presumptuous ...

"But let's pretend it was filed it on Ash Wednesday."

Elie just revealed he is Jonathon Sharkey.

"On January 13, 2006, Sharkey was arrested in Princeton, Minnesota on an outstanding bench warrant relating to two felony counts in Indiana, one of escape and one of stalking a former girlfriend whom he had previously been jailed for harassing. According to the Marion County Sheriff's Office, there are police reports dating since 2001 regarding his harassment of the woman. He was extradited to Indiana and though he claimed to the media that the felony stalking charges had been dropped, the Marion County Sheriff's Office confirmed that they had not been dropped. Sharkey pleaded guilty to two counts of invasion of privacy and was ordered to attend mental health treatment. In addition, Sharkey plead guilty to Escape, a Class D Felony, the day before his scheduled Jury Trial in Courtroom 9 of the Marion County Superior Court. (State v. Rocky Flash, 49F09-0508-FD-148312)

Sharkey was jailed again on February 4th, 2009 in Olmsted County, MN after being charged with felony harassment and two misdemeanors: "coercion with a threat to inflict bodily harm" and "coercion with a threat to expose a secret or disgrace" during the summer of 2008."

13: you're saying that he knew what she did last summer?

I thought the Lycans anexed the VN's northwest territory...no?

What will Faegre do?

Vampires to 190!!!

Dude, you absolutely SUCK at your job.

Vampyre Nation? I must be getting old. Back in the day we used to just call them attorneys...

I like the post. It's nice to see something other than layoffs on ATL. And nice South Park reference (though it will surely be lost on many readers).

Elie...
if you're going to give us the complaint, you've got to give us the exhibits.

C'mon. Attached 6 contains proof that the ex-stalkee is a vampire hunter. I would like to know what proving that someone is a vampire hunter requires. What if I must prove this in the future.

how fitting that doucebag Al Franken would be these doucebags senator - or would that be president? - if we gave Minnesota to them as requested

This is Elie's best post. It combines idiocy, poor grammar, superfluity, and bad humor, whereas previous postings have had one or more, but not all, of these qualities.

I'm with 20. I want to know how you prove one is a vampire hunter.

stupid lawsuits are only amusing to 1Ls. yes, anyone with primary school writing skills can make it through an awful complaint, and yes, there are lots of people with above-mentioned writing skills who are totally crazy. no surprises.

7 is an asshole. And is most likely a 1L at U. Penn St.

This is going to get ugly. I say we trade land for peace immediately.

Background Information, Paragraph F:
The VN's has: . . . a Queen (Amaya - Jonathon's wife who unfortunately has committed several crimes against the VN (high treason, treason, MURDER OF A MEMBER OF THE ROYAL FAMILY [??] . . . . Upon being found guilty, SHE WILL BE EXECUTE (sic) in accordance with vampyre law.

Is this all an elaborate way for him to legally kill his wife/gf?

The biggest douche of this post is Elie

"proving once again that Democracy is the worst form of government except for all the others that have been tried"

We don't live in a democracy. A lawyer should know better. But don't know why I would expect that from Elie.

14, congratulations or you successful comment. all others, such it.

Anyone who's worked in a district court knows bat-shit crazy complaints like this come in on an almost daily basis. Anyone out there had the pleasure of encountering a lawsuit from Kamal Karna Roy, the leader of Jungle Democracy? http://wikibin.org/articles/kamal-karna-roy.html. Good times.

How does one "such it"?

29, congratulations on being a mush-mouth

14 -- LOL!

- 13

(ps: what was wrong with my post that requires that I such it, 29?)

"His independent party, the "Vampires, Witches, and Pagans Party," is actually recognized by the FEC, proving once again that Democracy is the worst form of government except for all the others that have been tried."

nice...

Vampires at my high school . . . blah blah blah . . . .

no big deal . . .

blah and blah.

hmmm . . . somehow the confederate states of america didn't make his list of "precedence." The U.S. took that one well.

hy do the editors of this site keep blocking people from posting what is really happening to your jobs?

http://endofesq.com/

20 & 23 -

It's am email from the "vampyre hunter" to this guy, as follows:

"I'm doing this [breaking up] for your protection. the truth is i am a member of an elite vampire hunter society. by being with me, it puts you in great danger. if we are together as long as i am in my body, my bretherens will hunt you down. please don't contact me any more. my phone number is going to be changed. don't think i never loved you. i did and always will. know i love you for what i am doing to keep you safe. i'm sorry it had to come to this, but i will send my spirit to another host so you can be with me, but in a different shell. this will be the last i speak to you as [name]. goodbye my love, but not forever."

Well worth the 1.60 on pacer for the exhibits!

38 - love it.

27 - that was my thought too. If I was that woman this would be Exhibit A on my OFP petition.

1. Wonder what his Ph.D is in.

2. Actually not a bad pro se pleading...at least it is legible and reads well.

28, its a reference to a Churchill quote... don't be so quick to judge...

Lycans retained me to file a Rule 24 on this on Monday. Got a call today from private equity firm run by vampires in Chicago. They also want to intervene on the premise that sovereignty sounds useful re: banking and tax issues.

Conflict? Find new social circle? Buy body armor?

Lycans retained me to file a Rule 24 on this on Monday. Got a call today from private equity firm run by vampires in Chicago. They also want to intervene on the premise that sovereignty sounds useful re: banking and tax issues.

Conflict? Find new social circle? Buy body armor?

This guy ran for governor for the State of Minnesota. Considering some of the other people we've elected (Jesse the Body Ventura, Al Franken), I'm not sure how he lost.

Phd., L.L.L.D.

Impressive!

Here's him and his squeeze's Youtube page...

http://www.youtube.com/user/VampyressAmaya

41, was Churchill referring to America?

-Not 28

this was funny until I read the complaint and saw that this creep has found his wife "guilty of treason" and she's due to be "executed." That's just plain scary.

Yeah, 19. 'Cause NO ONE on the internets watches South Park! ZOMG CHocolate Salty Balls no one else got that!!!1!

His wife is no more she is getting married to the father of the child that the vampire wanna be beat out of her... She isn't ready to come forward yet but she is going to try to send him to jail for life. The girl in MN isnt the only one he wanted. He had a 12 yr old girlfriend.... who know what they did. Sick child molester....

Apparently, there is supposed to be a funny documentary about Sharkey called "Impaled: Painfully Blunt!"

I'm not positive, but I think it leads up to his crazy Vampyre Nation crap.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bbag6Kvm6r8

If it's anything as good as the crap I'm reading in the news, I can't wait for it to come out.