Judge of the Day, Samuel Kent

Judge Kent Does Not Kiss and Tell

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The days following Valentine’s Day are always a good time time to check back in with ex-flames, long lost friends and alleged abusers. On that note, what has our old friend U.S. District Judge Samuel Kent been up to?

This Tuesday, Senior U.S. District Judge Roger Vinson of Florida, who is presiding over Kent’s federal sex crimes and obstruction of justice case, denied Kent’s request that the obstruction of justice charge be dropped or moved into a separate trial.

From the Houston Chronicle:

Kent’s lawyer, Dick DeGuerin, originally argued on paper that Kent should have two trials because he must take the stand in a trial of the sexual cases to say he believed his relationships were consensual but that he would not testify on his own behalf in the obstruction case. DeGuerin said on Tuesday that Kent will only likely not testify about the obstruction.

Just how did Kent obstruct justice, you ask?

In the obstruction charge, Kent is accused of lying about sexual contact with an employee to prominent federal judges who investigated a misconduct complaint against him.

But fans of Kent, worry not, for Kent’s explanation for the lie is beyond reproach.

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Kent’s amazing excuse and notes on etiquette, after the jump.


Lest you think that Kent was some sort of Philistine, his lawyer makes it clear that he lied because he is an upstanding courtier and is therefor obliged to protect the base honour of a classless strumpet:

“Through the ages the recognized proper course of conduct was to not discuss affairs of the heart. It’s nothing more than that,” DeGuerin said.

Somewhere in the distance, Fraternity Lothario weeps softly.

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