SmallLaw Reversed Perk Watch: Don’t cry over the Kleenex
We’ve been providing extensive coverage of the economic troubles of Biglaw. But what about smaller firms in smaller markets? An ATL reader from a 35-attorney firm in St. Paul, Minnesota wrote to us about perk cuts in SmallLaw:
As of December, my firm no longer provides Kleenex. So now, when I am crying my bitter tears of disappointment about my career path, I am reduced to tearing out pages from various books in my office. I started with the Model Rules of Professional Conduct. It seemed somehow appropriate.
Even stranger? They actually raised our technology stipend this year, but cut the Kleenex.
We suspect Weil attorneys would sacrifice their Kleenex to get their tech stipend back.
Impressed by the tipster’s wit, we wrote a note of thanks, including an inquiry as to whether bathroom supplies were still pro bono.
There has been some concern regarding the toilet paper, but I think management is fearful enough of potential poo-flinging incidents that they wouldn’t dare tighten the purse strings that tightly.
(31) 
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First!!!!!!!!!!
Fourth!
Fire Elie, hire the person that wrote that tip.
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Associates in this economy should spend less time crying and more time working. LOL LAZIES!!!!!!!!!!!!
Firms provide Kleenex? Mine doesn't.
Fortunately, I still have my champagne stipend. However, I miss the Kleenex, which are handy after I pop models.
-Pop Bottles
7 - no, but it doesn't have to be. it still fits as used in the post.
lol at pro bono
i guess my comment applies to 5:16, not 7. i took my delorean 45 min into the future to read that comment.
8
Ditto 6. I've never worked at a place that provided free Kleenex.
I tried wiping my ass with a Kleenex once - things didn't turn out so good.
Another
Stupid
Story about
Losers
Out in the
Boonies
Struggling
To
Even be
Relevant
Just wondering. Is a reverse perk watch sort of like a two finger mexical oil change?
It's an office, not a hotel room. If you want kleenex, bring your own.
I used to steal tissues out of the conference rooms.
No more Kleenex, but at least I still have my bj stipend from my receptionist.
That tipster is better than Elle. :(
Mmm..."pro bono" is not a synonym for "free."
weil has never provided kleenex.
The only reason to complain about this is if the tipster does enough blow that his/her tissue stipend outweighs the tech stipend.
Great post. I punched the clown to it-wait, where's the kleenex? Ohhhh, sshhhhhhiiiitttt.......
Kirkland provides free muffins/bagels/fruit for breakfast and Kleenex, mouthwash and hair spray (women only, I assume) in the washrooms. Talk about perks!
13 - I know it's hard to believe but small firms exist in Manhattan, downtown LA, DC, and Chicago. You don't have to go to the boonies to find them.
@24
I agree. However, this post was about a St. Paul firm. Please put your reading glasses back on. kthxbai.
-13
My money is on Larson King. There aren't any other firms in St. Paul - at least none worth mentioning.
Anyone who still calls this the "Twin Cities" must be joking. St. Paul is the forgotten step-sibling of Minneapolis.
my boss brought in 150 White Castle burgers for a firm that only has 7 total workers (attorneys and staff). We ate for a week.
my boss brought in 150 White Castle burgers for a firm that only has 7 total workers (attorneys and staff). We ate for a week.
Worked at 2 biglaw firms over the summer. Neither provided Kleenex.
no kleenex sucks. what are you supposed to do when you get a cold? i'm at a small firm in socal. bottom of my class at a top 10, didn't try too hard during my summers or in my job search. i have a 1650 yearly requirement and make around $25k less a year than the biglaw attys in town (bonuses accounted for). sometimes, when it gets too stressful i leave the office at 4, smoke a fatty, and go walk my dogs at the beach. then i get some fatburger, have some starbucks, and bill a few more hours before dropping by ATL for some bedtime reading. boutique practice makes sense sometimes. i guess it all depends on your priorities. kleenex notwithstanding. good luck to all the good lawyers out there, i hope no one gets fired. to the rest, i could care less - why should i, no one else does (except for maybe your moms, and that's a big maybe).
Yeah, at my 50+ attorney firm (Denver) we cut kleenex about two months ago. Then we cut the people who water the plants. Then sodas. Then the medicine chest. Then a 5% pay cut across the board. Then parking.
Here's the best part - they cut parking on January 31, effective February 1. Funny part is that the parking for February was already paid and we are not getting a refund. Even still, they made me turn in my parking card just so it can sit in a drawer unused for the month of February. I was understanding with the pay cut, I was OK with no parking, but this is a slap in the face. I'd say I'm leaving, but there is no where to go...