March has 31 days you fat dick!

Another set of layoffs? That's crazy! I can't wait till everything is back to normal.

Um, this is not the last day of March, Elie. One more to go. Here's to hoping the last day of March does not have so much bad news in it....

STROOOOOOOOOOOOOCK

strooooooooooooooooock

"We are continuing to evaluate the appropriate start date for our incoming class."

Next stop, rescission city.

OK Elie, I realize you suck at writing, grammar, spelling, reading comprehension, math, and copying/pasting, but now you can't read a calendar? Elie, what CAN you do?

I'd take a very significant pay cut to keep my job. More firms should follow Strook's approach as an alternative to laying off associates and probably ending their biglaw careers forever.

Where the fuck are the new brackets?!?

It is the only reason I read this blog anymore. The rest of these articles are useless.

Tell me which firms are the most safe!!!

Back in '04, I stroked myself while being interviewed at Stroock.

9 - Strook is reducing salaries AND laying people off. No wonder youd take a pay cut to sTTTick around

There's two O's in Stroock.

- Goose

There are only 30 days in March. If you disagree, I now inform you that you are too far from reality.

Struck.

Lightning Stroocks Twice

Any word on the practice areas hit?

"We remain well staffed to serve our clients and to grow when conditions improve."

I want to see a firm come out and say that clients are going to take a significant hit as a result of layoffs.

It's "Lavan." Come on.

sTTTroock

I Strooked a platypus once on the conference room table at KS Chicago.

Billy Dee Williams

This year halloween fell on a weekend
Me and geto boyz are trick-or-treating
Robbing little kids for bags
Till an old man got behind our ass

Due to the current economic difficulties, we are reducing the number of days in a month across several months.

This was a difficult decision and has no bearing on the quality of the days being cut. We wish them well in thier future endeavors.

Spot on, spot on Stroock management. I have been a proponent of reducing annual first year salaries to $115,000.00, perhaps even $105,000.00 if the recession becomes worse. I am in the minority at my firm on this issue. However, reducing starting salaries and lockstep is long overdue. The management at Stroock are visionaries. Let us hope other firms follow suit.

I stroock a hooker in Miami Beach the other day.

Interesting story in today's AmLaw about a Proskauer partner being sued in connection with his representation of Stanford. Don't know about its billing potential, but it could generate some interesting work on legal ethics.

You do know this isn't actually the last day of March right?

LOL, 23.

When did XO become overrun with crappy shticks?

Loyola 2L was hilarious.

Nervous T10 1L was amusing.

Now, it's chatter trying to beat out everyone else. And none of it is funny.

24 -- about decreasing first year salaries, as a 3L, I think most of us would welcome the paycut if it meant job security. At this point, we just need experience under our belts. Anything to keep a job.

Abovethelaw has booked one conference room this Friday.

Elie heard a rumor that March would be ending early this year, and he ran with it.

Strike down one in ten
To encourage the others,
Hear the anguished cries.

March has 30 days? And THIS went to HLS!

Ditto 30. I don't need 160k, I didn't expect it when I started. I want a job. Sure, 160k would be great -- but I'd rather have a job and make, say, $110k, than find my offer rescinded.

I just Strooked my Alston Bird, now I can't Fried Frank my secretary.

10% firmwide - anyone know the actual numbers of staff and associates?

22 - nice Atom & His Package reference!

We also understand that that the firm will be asking certain associates to take a pay cut. Less details after the jump.

Strook got ponzied twice. eyyyyyyyy

MysTTTal

From the firm email:

"Our retention decisions will be based, in part, on each associate's performance in a Stroock Bowling tournament."

37 - If you were expecting a site that does more than cut and paste press releases and surround them with a few lines of uninspired, trite, and regularly misspelled commentary, you have come to the wrong place. Taking the logical next step and providing actually useful context to and analysis of the information he cuts and pastes is not Elie's strong suit.

March has 31 days.

Elie, you fat hog, that is really a poorly phrased headline. You make it sound as though Stroock is suffering through layoffs in order to benefit 10% of its people. I'm not sure your structure is incorrect, but it is certainly quite inartful. Why not just say "Stroock Lays Off 10% of Associates and Staff"?

31 great post

45-

That would make sense.

MYSTTTAL

30 and 35 go fuck yourselves.

Pay me bitch!

Sheppard Mullin has been rescinding offers. Elie has been tipped but apparently doesn't care.

So far 3 out of 5 incoming associates in the SF office have had their offers rescinded.

Does anyone have any idea what Goodwin is up to? Five offices in California, and also Hong Kong and London in the last six months. Attorney count doubled in the last four years. They must be hemorrhaging money. How many of the 99 Boston 2008 SA’s received offers? How many accepted? How many have been revoked? What about stealth layoffs? What about first year associates? Rumors out of Boston and NY offices indicate that another round of layoffs is imminent. This next round will supposedly include partners. (It’s about time, since more than a few are deadweight that came from Testa and other CA firms.) I think that a Goodwin thread is needed.

I heard all of the penguins got laid off as well.

49, it's not that Elie doesn't care - it's that nobody cares.

MoFo wont tell us when we start, wont give us our stipend, pay our bar fees.... how is ATL not covering this?!

"Penultimate" means "next to last." I usually slam Elie for being a total clown, but in this case you guys are simply wrong.

Goodwin, Goodwin, Goodwin -- who the f@ck cares? Pathetic firm that nobody will miss when gone.

50, GP has already laid off partners. They didn't do it in the open round of layoffs last month, but they let go quite a few during the preceding review cycle. And I'm not talking about Testa or Heller people.

That's right 49. Firms will start rescinding offer to the members of the '09 class because the '10 graduating class will be starting soon enough. Firms just don't need the '09 law school graduates.

54 - Way to be late to the party ya jerkoff

This is interesting, because Stroock is currently interviewing lateral associates. I know of someone laid off from another firm who recently interviewed there. Maybe they're trying to take advantage of the market turmoil to "upgrade" their associate ranks, and replace some of their associates with associates laid off from more prestigious firms who wouldn't consider Stroock in a normal economy?

55, approximately 900 attorneys and 70 incomings care.

I know I'll be employed through July 38th.

- '09 WolfBlock Summer

Nice try 49 but the SF office only has 4 incoming associates. Maybe you never had an offer to begin with

Nice try 49 but the SF office only has 4 incoming associates. Maybe you never had an offer to begin with

Nice try 49 but the SF office only has 4 incoming associates. Maybe you never had an offer to begin with

60 -- losers all. Limit the news to NY, DC, LA, Magic Circle -- otherwise nobody (who matters) cares.

Fuck & Fuck & Shit

I wish someone would clarify how many incoming associates the SF office has.

54 - you can't see "last day" crossed off? Enjoy it, it's the closest Elie will ever come to a retraction when he's wrong.

Of course, if he acknowledged every error, there's be no room left on the internet for anything else.

Ah yes, 65. Only people in these 4 areas of the world matter. Good point. That isn't at all narcissistic or pretentious. Definitely the kind of attitude that will help you lead a long and happy life.

65 - Ooh, your egotistical indifference marks you as the "cool" one who's way better than the rest of us and, therefore, you show us up anonymously on message boards. Gasp! What a man! We tremble beneath your awesomeness. Please forgive us for sullying your profession.

63-

Four starting in the fall. One Feb. bar taker who was supposed to start in March but has the offer rescinded less than a week before the start date.

And now 2 of the 4 remaining have been rescinded.

But thanks for trying. Next time check your facts.

23 - awesome

The only thing that isn't sad, pathetic and lame about 69's post is the number.

What happened to Nervous T?

63-

Four starting in the fall. One Feb. bar taker who was supposed to start in March but has the offer rescinded less than a week before the start date.

And now 2 of the 4 remaining have been rescinded.

But thanks for trying. Next time check your facts.

@50- most of the real estate is gone, I hope Goodwin rids itself of non-performing partners- there are several in Boston (corporate) that have no clients and do nothing, and the same story in DC (on the lit side). Layoffs have been occuring very slowly over the past year, but picked up speed before the "official" announcement back in February. I predict a significant # of the summer class will not get offers, as well as current first years in slow groups (remember Goodwin is "conservative")- the California offices are doing well though, as partners there brought in their own clients, I hope they have enough sense to jump ship soon

No mention of severance, so I suppose that I'm not needed here.

29, guys in my high school used crappy shticks all the time. It was no big deal.

I hope the f-ing hiring partners did everyone a favor and laid themselves off.

I hope the f-ing hiring partners did everyone a favor and laid themselves off.

Knew it was coming, given that they were big into structured finance. Too bad - Stroock is one of the better firms to its people, as evidenced by the decision to allow some to take reduced pay.

79 - guys in my high school used to lay themselves all the time. It was no big deal.

The first thing they should do is lay off one of the Stroocks, and tell him to take the extra ampersand with him.

How can you be BigLaw (even TTT BigLaw) with a name like that? It screams small town lawfirm nepotism. Its the successful Stroock, his partner Lavan, and his no-account, can't get a job kid who came in as a partner, but isn't allowed to speak to clients. Think law firm meets Tommy Boy. How embarrassing.

It's kind of funny that people haven't realized that Elie makes typos and other errors on purpose to antagonize the commenters.

*bowls a 300*

Stroock's NYC office isn't on NALP anymore. Are they cancelling 2009 OCI recruiting?

84 - sure, and he leaves his fly down, his shirt half-tucked in, and his shoes untied in a cunning parody of a semi-retarded blog hack.

83 -
Stroock & Stroock & Lavan LLP - Founded in 1876. I'm fairly certain that both Stroocks and the Lavan are long gone.

50: GOODWIN REMAINS ... silent

59, there is some lateral hiring going on even while firms announce layoffs, but more to strengthen active practice areas than upgrade overall associate quality. The latter is taking place, but more with smaller firms.

Penultimate means second to last. Today is the second to last day of March. So...the post was correct. Just sayin'.

Dear Elie,

You are fat and you gave me herpes.

Love,
Lat

too good not to share: http://www.accessatlanta.com/entertainment/content/entertainment/stories/2009/03/30/shamwow_guy_shlomi_prostitute.html?cxntlid=thbz_hm

@76. My sources say DC litigation is doing well at Goodwin--that office is a little partner heavy though

who's that corporate partner guy there that walks like a duck and wears really tight pants. he's your typical "little man" with a terrible self-image issue. the dude looks like the most uptight douchebag to work for.

91 - Elie corrected the post, after the error was pointed out by commenters who apparently have more than a third grade education, and after he looked up how to spell penultimate.

If you act like a superior dick, pay attention. Just sayin'.

All will be well.

The Market will provide.

move brilliant on strooks part. if they cut salaries 15% across the board, you would have 100% of associates and staff pissed. you fire 10% of the people and ask the other 90% to take cuts, the 90% are happy with the cut since they still have jobs.

Stroock has been conducting stealth lay off accross the board since Fall.

It's not a pay cut, it's merely a redistribution of wealth from the associates to the partners.

Not to worry though. Once my tax increases on incomes over $250,000 kick in these same partners will happily hire their associates back and then some even though they are making less money, because it's the fair thing to do.

cutting salaries might make sense, if done across the board (including, dare I say it, PARTNERS!!) But the Strook salary cuts are only directed at senior associates (post 8th year) and staff. so, no worries, stroock still pays market salaries for all REPORTED salaries!

cutting salaries might make sense, if done across the board (including, dare I say it, PARTNERS!!) But the Strook salary cuts are only directed at senior associates (post 8th year) and staff. so, no worries, stroock still pays market salaries for all REPORTED salaries!

This is an extremely short-sighted move on Stroock's part. py cuts across the board might be admirable, but the stroock partners have apparently decided that only associates need to tighten their belts to weather this storm. while stroock's approach may fly now, while the market is tight, when things turn around (and they will inevitably turn around), stroock is likely to lose some very good people when those affected flee to other firms due to the ill will this move has engendered.

Agree with 103. This move will hurt their reputation in the future, especially given that Stroock pretended to be a different workplace, somehow different from other cold-hearted law firms.

49/71 - What about other Sheppard offices?

I heard that stroock substantially cut salaries in less profitable departments - is this true?? which departments? how much of a cut?

Let's see how Stroock treats its incoming summers and incoming first years -- that will really determine whether the firm can still claim that it isn't "cold-hearted."

I BE STROOCKIN'!

THAT'S WHAT I BE DOIN'!

108...Niiiiiice
to the east and the west...

You guys are laughing and I'm out of work. No wonder the world hates us.

Partners at Stroock may be cut as well. That's what I was told. Not everyone's safe.

Make sure you pronounce "Stroock" as "Strook"— like a book. I called it Strewk in an interview with them. No offer.

My heart goes out to those who lost their jobs at a time when jobs are so hard to come by. The lesson to be learned is to make sure you have a fat emergency fund, particularly if you have a mortgage to pay, and a family to provide for.

The game is changing. I am glad to have a job, and more glad not to be a student with a huge pile of debt, looking for one.

"The economy is what it is"... Thank you Elie, for this very insightful comment, you sound just like a partner...

It looks like you have somehow given up on reporting material information on layoffs.

There are so many alternatives to laying people off. For example, why don't the firms just force more unpaid vacations until things get better?

Because, that would cause the partners to not be able to use their summer houses so much.

This is what Fried Frank is doing in re their incoming class: "Additional steps announced today pertain to our fall 2009 class and our 2009 summer associate programs in the U.S. The start date of our fall 2009 class has been deferred to January 28, 2010. All incoming associates whose start date is deferred until January 2010 will receive a $10,000 stipend. We are also offering an opportunity for members of the fall 2009 class to defer until the fall 2010. We are encouraging those associates to develop their legal skills by pursuing a public interest or government position or by volunteering with a legal, political or community-based organization. Those who elect this deferral will receive a stipend of $70,000 plus health benefits." Sounds like a very responsible thing to do. You guys think Stroock will do the same for its incoming class?

This is what Fried Frank is doing in re their incoming class: "Additional steps announced today pertain to our fall 2009 class and our 2009 summer associate programs in the U.S. The start date of our fall 2009 class has been deferred to January 28, 2010. All incoming associates whose start date is deferred until January 2010 will receive a $10,000 stipend. We are also offering an opportunity for members of the fall 2009 class to defer until the fall 2010. We are encouraging those associates to develop their legal skills by pursuing a public interest or government position or by volunteering with a legal, political or community-based organization. Those who elect this deferral will receive a stipend of $70,000 plus health benefits." Sounds like a very responsible thing to do. You guys think Stroock will do the same for its incoming class?

This is what Fried Frank is doing in re their incoming class: "Additional steps announced today pertain to our fall 2009 class and our 2009 summer associate programs in the U.S. The start date of our fall 2009 class has been deferred to January 28, 2010. All incoming associates whose start date is deferred until January 2010 will receive a $10,000 stipend. We are also offering an opportunity for members of the fall 2009 class to defer until the fall 2010. We are encouraging those associates to develop their legal skills by pursuing a public interest or government position or by volunteering with a legal, political or community-based organization. Those who elect this deferral will receive a stipend of $70,000 plus health benefits." Sounds like a very responsible thing to do. You guys think Stroock will do the same for its incoming class?

119 = incoming stroock associate, or so he thinks, for now.

Yes, and I believe that Stroock will do everything it can to keep our offers.