Archive for March 2009

Morning Docket 03.12.08

monopoly-go-to-jail-card.jpg* Will Bernard Madoff get a “Go To Jail” card today? [New York Times]

* The first step to (economic) recovery is admitting you have a problem. The Snark says enough with the stealth firings already, BigLaw. [Fulton County Daily Report]

* Are the SCOTUS justices playing fast and loose with the law to be members of the University Club of DC? Is the University Club so cool that it’s worth it? [BLT]

* The Iraqi journalist who threw shoes at President Bush gets a year per shoe, and another year to boot. [United Press International]

* David Ogden is headed for approval as deputy attorney general, even with his Playboy credentials. [Associated Press]

NYU Law Revue Preview

Many of you know that I am an HLS Parody alum. I have a healthy respect for law students flexing their creative cords. And since it’s not like there’s anything anybody can do to get jobs just at the moment, what’s the harm in having a little fun?

That said, I’m not at all above opening up earnest actors to the ridicule color commentary of the Above the Law community. Spread the love, that’s what I say.

So, here’s the preview for the NYU Law Revue going up later this month (in which ATL gets some shout-outs):


Please Repeat the Question from Amanda Bakale on Vimeo.

“If that’s movin’ up then I’m, movin’ out.”

Seriously though, everybody needs to try to laugh a little more, especially during this economic meltdown. Have fun guys.

Non-Sequiturs: 03.11.09

Amir and Streeter College Humor.jpg* Harvard Law Sports Law Symposium. I hope somebody puts the transcript online so I can finally understand who is liable when a coxswain falls in the Charles and dies of radiation poisoning. [SportsJudge Blog]

* Easterbrook v. Posner: Who will prevail in the Supreme Court? Let’s get ready to ruuuuumble. [Floyd Norris]

*The DOW is up, two days in a row. Up! The Recession is OVER. NYC to $190K!!!! [Google Finance]

* A-Rod hires a new lawyer. That brings his hairstylist to lawyer ration down to 2:1. He must have been cheating something awful. [ShysterBall]

* Some 2L who did well in contracts last year should submit a resume to Patrick Dempsey. [Popsquire]

* Strong men don’t also cry? I’m confused. [Underdog]

* Michael Steele, I’m not sure this is the right job for you. Maybe a satellite radio talk show? Really late at night? I just don’t know where you are going with this. [Political Wire]

* Remember how they used to drug B.A. Baracus before he got on a plane? Why can’t that just be standard procedure everybody? I’d much rather be stripped, probed, packed, starved, disrespected, gouged, and then ejected while unconscious instead of having to live through the waking nightmare of air travel. [National Review Online]

* Okay. This has nothing to do with the law, and everything to do with the funny. If you had an internet connection a year ago, you probably saw the Yankee Stadium prank by College Humor. Well, the battle has been joined. [College Humor]

Luce forward.JPGA few weeks ago, we heard Greenberg Traurig was losing IP partners in Orange County. Obviously, this is not the time to be losing IP partners. As one tipster put it:

Greenberg Traurig’s Orange County office lost its Intellectual Property practice last week when Mark Krietzman and Peter Gluck jumped ship to join Luce Forward and took their associates with them. Their practice was the only profitable practice in GT’s OC office for fiscal ’08 and fiscal ’09.

While Greenberg declined to comment for this story, Luce Forward did confirm hiring these partners.

We imagine Luce Forward could use the shot in the arm. The firm recently laid off 27 people and canceled its 2009 summer program. But adding this practice group should help.

But what does this mean for Greenberg? Some interesting reports after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Musical Chairs: Greenberg Traurig Loses IP Partners, And Maybe More”

We’ve seen a lot of interesting law firm websites in our time, but the MySpace page for the “Law Office of Mark Meisinger” is in a class of its own [hat tip to The Young Texas Lawyer]. The Law Office is “single,” and interested in “Networking, Dating, Serious Relationships, Friends.” Appropriately, the current mood for the Dallas-based Law Office is “adventurous:”

my space law office mark meisinger above the law.jpg

According to the “About Me” section, “representing those who mess with Texas” means taking on clients charged with DWIs, drug possession, probation violations, and traffic offenses. Other important bits about “The Law Office of Mark Meisinger:” it used to be a juvenile delinquent, it was a member of Phi Delta Theta, it has worked “with all kinds of different government agencies, and it “interned for the U.S. Attorney’s Office, District Of Nebraska and prosecuted several federal cases.”

When we first came across it, we doubted that the MySpace page would effectively attract prospective clients, but Meisinger is quoted in a post on Criminal Defense Lawyer saying that it does:

“The people I’m going after [as clients] are on MySpace,” says Meisinger, who graduated from Creighton University School of Law in Omaha, Neb., in 2004, and office shares at Gioffreddi & Associates in Dallas. “A whole bunch of people who party, who drink, whatever, those are the people on there who want to be my [MySpace] friend… I have gotten cases off there [MySpace]; there’s no doubt. One month, I got four DWIs off of there. It’s way more than the phone book’s doing for me.”

So… the screw-ups on MySpace are the clientele he’s targeting. Nice. He also friends hotties, judging from the posts on his wall:

my space sexy lawyers above the law.jpg

T-shirts(!) and more, after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Adventures in Lawyer Advertising: MySpace.com — A Place for Friends… and Law Offices”

proskauer rose logo.JPGI really thought we were going to make it through the whole day without any fresh layoff stories. I really did. We were so close.

Sadly, there is an internal memo going around at Proskauer Rose right now. The damage, 23 attorneys. We haven’t gotten our hands on the memo yet, but we understand that the memo makes no mention of any staff cuts.

You’ll remember that back in December, Proskauer laid off 35 associates and 25 staffers. The firm also laid off first years at that time, but that wasn’t in the announcement. Of course, that was back in December when laying off first years looked particularly bad.

No word on whether this round of cuts is also affecting first years.

This second round of cuts shouldn’t be all that surprising. Proskauer profits per partner were down ten percent last year. And we know partnerships don’t like that.

We’ll update you with the full internal memo when we get it.

So close. Maybe tomorrow can be an official “no layoff day?”

Earlier: Nationwide Layoff Watch: Proskauer Cuts 60 People

Nationwide Layoff Update: Proskauer Rose

Proskauer Profits Take a Tumble

Paul Hastings logo.JPGWe reported yesterday that Paul Hastings laid off a bunch of associates. In that report, we mentioned that a firm wide meeting was scheduled for 11:00 a.m. today. We’re getting the first reports from that meeting, and not surprisingly, associates received more information about the layoffs.

A tipster reports that Paul Hastings management emphasized that yesterday’s layoffs were the first round of “economic” layoffs. Apparently, all of the other PH layoffs that we’ve reported were performance based:

Previous terminations were performance based. But for world-wide economic downturn, the associates let go at this time would still be with the firm. Firm looked at past three months of performance and projected hours for 2009 and adjusted headcount to meet those expected hours. The decision was made on a department and office basis. It was not a flat 5% reduction. Some groups had no attorney or staff reductions and some offices had only very small reductions.

But there is also some good news for the remaining Paul Hastings employees.

More details after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Paul Hastings Follow Up: Layoffs Should Be Enough”

pircher nichols meeks logo.jpgNow that Citigroup decided that the recession was over, hopefully this layoff news will start to dissipate. But we wanted to catch up on some layoff news that happened yesterday that we weren’t able to get to. Pircher Nichols & Meeks had its second round of layoffs, and the numbers were surprisingly similar to the first round of cuts.

Leo Pircher explained the news to Above the Law:

The Firm laid off eight attorneys, five in Los Angeles and three in Chicago. Two of the attorneys were first years.

In early December, Pircher Nichols also laid off attorneys, eight attorneys to be exact. Those cuts included one first year.

First years aren’t safe at large law firms, and they’ll find no quarter at mid-sized law firms either.

Read the full statement after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Nationwide Layoff Watch: Pircher Nichols and the Rule of Eight”

Ed. note: Have a question for next week? Send it in to advice@abovethelaw.com.

pls hndle copy 2.jpgATL -

What, the hell, am I supposed to do [as a recently laid off associate] when I am NOT looking for a job? Bottom line, getting rejected only takes up so much of my day. What kinds of things should I be doing with the rest of it. You know, when is it okay for me to start drinking (noon, two, sundown)? And what kind of cheap alcohol should I be looking at now that I can’t afford top-shelf? Any good T.V. shows I should be catching up on (I’m done with Law & Order. D-U-N!) How often should I expect my still employed friends to come out and drink with me (I know 7 days a week isn’t the right answer … what about six?)

Welcome to the Jungle

Dear Welcome to the Jungle,

Luckily you’ve come to the right source – between Elie and I, we’ve got years of unemployment under our belts. It takes some adjusting, but after those first two weeks of joblessness are over and you’re tired of cursing the day you were born, it’s time to get up off the couch, wipe off the Sour Patch Kids dust, and get moving.

Congratulations – it sounds like you’re over the self-loathing part and are already job hunting. As you correctly pointed out – this takes up very little of the day as a) there are few jobs to be had and b) you might as well be sending your resume into outer space because nobody’s getting back to you anyway. That’s why, if you don’t have a job, your job is to be in the best damn shape of your life. It’s simple survival of the fittest – if you lose your craft, you must rely on your plumage to survive. My mom once said, “if you can’t play the sport, look good on the court,” and though she was referring to a particular outfit she bought for step class in the hopes of impressing her instructor Alfonso, it does help to look good when you feel like your life is falling apart. One’s psyche is not benefited by spending days pounding Klondike bars and Bailey’s Irish Cream while watching repeats of The Amazing Race on Hulu from bed on one’s laptop. A very close friend of mine can attest to this.

In terms of what tv to watch, I strenuously recommend a strict diet of reality TV only. The Bachelor, What Not to Wear, Intervention, Sober House, The Biggest Loser, Tool Academy – these shows were designed to make you feel better about yourself. You may be unemployed, but at least you’re not groveling for roses, wearing hideous clothes, a heroin addict, a recovering heroin addict, morbidly obese or a douchebag with unsightly tribal tattoos, respectively. I draw the line at Dancing with the Stars, however. I may be unemployed but I still have my dignity.

My advice: work out, apply to jobs, be proactive, attend to your pet, learn to cook, write your book, complain to friends, clean your apartment. Make sure that your affairs are in order so that when a job or a very rich man or woman comes your way, you are in the best position to pounce. If you build it, they will come.

Your friend,

Marin

Elie sets adrift on memory bliss after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Pls Hndle Thx: Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay”

Cover letter unemployed.jpgEverybody has written a cover letter. The vast majority of people write the same cover letter, because there aren’t more than a couple of ways of doing it right. They’re boring to write, they’re excruciatingly boring to read, and really the only point is to prove that the person writing the letter is basically sane.

But, what if you are not sane? Maybe you started off sane, but the terrible job market has driven you to madness? What if you are at the point where you “just don’t give a f***?” What does that cover letter look like?

A few days ago, I received this email:

Frustrated by my failing job search, I decided to write a more unorthodox cover letter….

I sent it to Bingham McCutchen. I chose Bingham because they emphasize the importance of maintaining a sense of humor in the workplace. I emailed it to them and received a rejection letter in the mail within three days. It was one of my fastest rejections ever.

Well, I’ve read the cover letter, and I think that Bingham made a mistake. There is a true talent here and (if properly medicated) this person would have made an excellent addition to the firm.

Read the cover letter after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Now This is a Cover Letter”

Back in January, we noted a trend in firms pushing back start dates for 2009 incoming associates. At that time, Clifford Chance and Milbank Tweed had pushed back to late October, and Morrison & Foerster had pushed back to November. Since then though, firms have been pushing back even further.

To name a few: Hogan & Hartson – November 30, 2009; O’Melveny and Latham – December 2009 (though Latham is also offering an October 2010 option); Nixon Peabody, Chadbourne & Parke, and Venable – January 2010; and Morgan Lewis – October 2010. White and Case is offering November 2009 to some, but 2010 to most.

And now, influential Cravath is joining the pushback party, reports AmLaw Daily:

First-years will have their choice of start dates: October, November or January. The start dates will fill up on a first-come, first-serve basis, meaning if you want to start in October, you better let the firm know soon.

As we’ve said before, it makes sense for firms to delay start dates for incoming associates, since work is already slow for their current associates. But one ATL reader begs firms to go ahead and make up their minds about start dates ASAP:

Can you please tell the law firms that while 3Ls don’t want deferred start dates, the firm that announces last screws their 3Ls the most. If we don’t find out soon we won’t be able to get into LLM programs or paid public interest work.

So, 3Ls, don’t sign leases in your new city just yet. And firms, if you plan to push back start dates for incoming associates, bite the bullet and do it. And feel free to send the memo our way while you’re at it (tips@abovethelaw.com).

Cravath Joins Delayed Start Date Party [American Lawyer]

Earlier: Prior ATL Nationwide Start Date Watch coverage

Nationwide Start Date Watch: Longer summers for new associates in 2009?

Morning Docket 03.11.09

Lsat.jpg* A law professor and a psychology professor at Berkeley are proposing a test to replace the LSAT. Their test seeks to measure 26 lawyerly “effectiveness factors” with a series of hypothetical situations, rather than focusing on analytical ability. We hope they leave in at least one logic game, just for kicks. [New York Times]

* Europeans debate castration for sex offenders. Unlike in the U.S., surgical castration is still allowed in some European countries. Of course, Florida, Texas, Louisiana, and California, among others, go for the chemical kind. [International Herald Tribune]

* Bernard Madoff expected to plead guilty tomorrow and will go to prison forever. [Newsday]

* Start archiving the death threats made against you now, because you never know when the New York Times will interview you. Madoff attorney Ike Sorkin pulls out an old yellowed death threat newspaper clipping from 1975 for this story. [New York Times]

* The ship that is first year associate salaries be sinking. [Chicago Tribune]

* The Blackberry be sinking too. [PCWorld]

Non-Sequiturs: 03.10.09

Thomas Jefferson School of Law.JPG* For a certain segment of the population, these layoffs won’t be real until Cravath does it. Of course, if things keep going as they are, the rest of the population will soon eat that certain segment of the population. [The Faculty Lounge]

* One hundred and twenty five lawyers gathered in NYC yesterday to hear a panel of experts discuss the legal job market. Shockingly, no riots broke out. That tells me we haven’t hit the bottom. [AmLaw Daily]

* Here’s what you should be prepared for in an interview. Apparently, interviewers will not test your “open groveling” skills, who knew? [Let's Talk Turkey]

* A new blog, sponsored by Waller Lansden Dortch & Davis, focuses on young lawyers. Evidently, not all young lawyers are hiding out in a cave waiting for the economic apocalypse to accept their capitulation. [Young Lawyers Blog]

* The IQ of attorneys is going down. Luckily, I no longer understand what that means. [Legal Writing Prof Blog via The Lawyer]

* Best Tax Movies. You think I’m joking. [TaxProf Blog]

* The site of the Thomas Jefferson School of Law in San Diego is apparently a prehistoric goldmine. I don’t have a joke here. But since it’s me and the article talks about a mammoth, I’m sure somebody in the comments will have a brilliant funny-funny. [San Diego Tribune]

Paul Hastings logo.JPGAt the beginning of February, we reported that Paul Hastings laid off a number of associates in its Atlanta office. At the end of February, the firm laid off some people in Los Angeles (and Shanghai). But it looks like today, Paul Hastings is laying off a much larger group of people. Here is the official statement from the firm:

In light of the deteriorating global financial market, we have announced today a regretted but necessary step of reducing our workforce by 44 associates and 87 staff. We are appreciative of our colleagues’ contributions to the Firm during their tenure. Affected employees have been offered severance benefits to ease their transition.

The news is pouring in from all of the firm’s offices, but the deepest cuts seem to be in Atlanta.

We understand that the firm is firing first years today as well.

On Monday, our sources started alerting us to a firm wide meeting that is scheduled for 11:00 am Wednesday. We understood that meeting to be the standard yearly meeting where associates received their bonuses. But now, there should be a lot more to talk about. A (laid off) tipster reports:

If PH screws me out of my bonus, I’m going to [vague threat] that f****** [specific threat]. Also [general anger].

Read the internal firm wide memo after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Nationwide Layoff Watch: Paul Hastings Lays Off 131 in Round 3″

Chadbourne solid logo.JPGWe reported earlier today that Chadbourne & Parke was laying off people today (check out our prior coverage here). We just received this firm wide email:

Accordingly, with deep regret, we are reducing the number of attorneys in our offices worldwide by approximately 25. Today will be the last day at the Firm for many of the individuals impacted by this decision. They are all talented professionals who have made valuable contributions to the Firm. They will all be missed and we wish them well. All affected attorneys present in our offices today have been personally spoken with and we expect to speak with the others in the next few days.

Chadbourne is also imposing a deferred start date on incoming associates, but unlike Venable, the firm doesn’t appear to be offering extra money for 3Ls. New Chadbourne first years won’t start until January 2010.

Not that it’s a particularly safe thing to be a Chadbourne first year. Our reports indicated that 8 of the 25 people laid off were first year attorneys.

On the other hand, the firm is offering a three month severance package. Also, the firm is explicitly forgiving the bar loan that first years received.

Again, most of our sources say that Chadbourne was really “nice” about the whole process.

Read the full memo after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Nationwide Layoff Watch: Chadbourne & Parke Update”

Notes from the Breadline Roxana St Thomas.jpgEd. note: Welcome to the latest installment of “Notes from the Breadline,” a column by a laid-off lawyer in New York. Prior columns are collected here. You can reach Roxana St. Thomas by email, at roxanastthomas@gmail.com, or find her on Facebook.

My last days in the office coincide with the final run-up to the holidays, which provide a strange, somewhat dissonant backdrop for being laid off. On one hand, Christmas cheer is almost thankfully difficult to escape, and it is hard not to be swept up, if only briefly, in its glittery tide. On the other hand, the season seems oddly cheerless.

One night just before Christmas I go to dinner with my friend TJ, who lives on the Upper West Side. Walking to the subway afterwards I notice that, although it is one of the final shopping days of the season, the streets are unusually empty. Signs in every store window announce drastic sales which, a year ago, would have caused a virtual stampede; now, however, there is something ominous about the scene. There are too many New Yorkers who, like me, are suddenly planning a budget based on the decidedly modest figure of $405 a week — New York’s maximum allowable unemployment benefit. There are too many more who are planning a budget based on less. The last thing on my mind is a new bra from Victoria’s Secret, even if it is 50% off.

On the bright side, I have recovered from my initial sticker shock at the price of COBRA, and discovered that there are, in fact, more affordable benefit options. To be sure, finding — and then deciphering — these options requires as much work as any other inquiry related to health insurance; there are no easy answers, and even if you find a centralized source of information that will help you compare the relative merits of different plans, there is a tremendous amount of legwork to be done. But, I learn quickly, at least there are plans available.

More details, after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Notes from the Breadline: Soon We’ll Be Away From Here; Step on the Gas and Wipe That Tear Away”

blank rome summers no offers.jpgNow that K&L Gates finally announced its layoffs, it’s time to adopt a menacing flight pattern over another firm. We are hearing that Blank Rome is preparing to announce layoffs.

Our sources are telling us that 25 – 50 attorneys will be let go from Blank Rome late this week or early next week. We don’t have a conference room schedule handy to pinpoint the date, but the firm is buzzing that Thursday, March 12th is the most likely day.

The firm has not responded to Above the Law’s multiple requests for comment.

This would be the second round of layoffs at Blank Rome. Back in January, the firm laid off a number of associates and staff. As we saw yesterday, a lot of firms that have already made cuts are going back for seconds.

This round of layoffs is expected to focus on associates. According to some tipsters, that is very different than the last round.

Details after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Impending Layoff Watch: Blank Rome, Come On Down”

Aukse Rimas.JPGIt goes without saying that the recession is forcing all sorts of Americans to confront the prospect of financial ruin. But lawyers have a particular cross to bear, one that involves a crushing amount of educational debt that was supposed to be serviced by the income from lucrative, highly secure law firm jobs. Now that job security is a thing of a past, there are a lot of lawyers who need a financial makeover. Sunday’s Chicago Tribune provided advice for struggling attorneys:

Aukse Rimas of Chicago is a trial attorney with a big new raise and a promising career. But she is losing sleep over what the recession-wracked economy could do to her.

The 29-year-old is juggling $225,547 in education loans and credit card debt–about three years’ worth of her $75,000 annual salary. She has a modest retirement nest egg and virtually no savings.

Something tells me that the financial experts are going to tell Aukse to spend less money. I haven’t read the full article or anything, but every financial planner I’ve ever talked to essentially tells me “your intelligence profile indicates that you’re too stupid to follow a budget.”

Am I right? After the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “A Financial Makeover in Chicago”

Chadbourne solid logo.JPGThis layoff news is breaking right now, so we don’t have all of the details. But we understand that “heads are rolling” today at Chadbourne & Parke.

The firm did not respond to an immediate request for comment, but there are multiple reports of the layoff reaper making the rounds at the firm right now.

Layoffs are being done face-to-face and no firm wide announcement has gone out.

However, the firm is firing first years, so we don’t imagine that this is a “performance review.” In fact, one tipster puts it like this:

They were very nice. It is purely economical.

We understand that Chadbourne is giving a three month severance package.

You’ll remember that in October, Chadbourne announced a hiring freeze. That seems like an obvious move now, and not surprisingly it looks like that wasn’t enough of a cutback to ride out the economic storm.

But at the time Chadbourne said that the hiring freeze wouldn’t affect the 2009 summer program. We’ll see if that holds up in the face of layoffs.

Update (4:39): Chadbourne has now confirmed these layoffs. Check here for our continuing coverage.

Earlier: Hiring Freeze at Chadbourne & Parke Adventures In Burying The Lead

Prior ATL coverage of law firm layoffs

Venable logo.jpgToday’s damage starts in the District. Multiple tipsters report that Venable has decided to make attorney and staff cuts today.

The numbers out of Venable are relatively small compared to what we’ve been seeing over the past couple of weeks: 16 attorneys, 43 staff, 5 paralegals. A firm wide email announced the percentage of cuts:

Approximately 3% of our attorneys (16), 8% of our full time staff (43), and 7% of our paralegals (5) will be directly impacted. The individuals who are subject to the layoff are being offered severance packages, as well as professional assistance in locating new employment. As part of the severance package, the Firm is offering health care coverage that will be paid by the Firm through June 30, 2009. We ask that you provide our colleagues who are affected by today’s action the respect and compassion that they need in this difficult time.

Again, that is not terrible given recent news.

Venable is also pushing back start dates for incoming first years until 2010. But, they’ll be giving those people a little extra money while they wait:

Venable will also delay the start of the incoming class of first year associates from September 2009 to January 4, 2010. The Firm will pay for the costs associated with preparation for, and the taking of, the Bar exam. In addition, the Firm will provide our incoming class with a $10,000 stipend in September 2009.

As we survey the smoldering carnage of the legal industry right now, you have to look at news like this as “not that bad.” Shocking.

Read the full Venable memo after the jump.

double red triangle arrows Continue reading “Nationwide Layoff Watch: 16 Attorneys Out at Venable”