Last week I would've given a kidney to anyone in this office. I would've reached right into my stomach and pulled it out for them. But now, no. I don't have the relationship with these people that I thought I did. I hope they ask, so they can hear me say, "Uh, no, I only give my organs to my real friends. Go get yourself a monkey kidney."

AAAHAHHHH AHAHA AHA HA HA HA
HHA AHA HA AH AHA HA HA
HA HA AHAHA H HA HA HHAHH

- Signed, Guy who enjoys seeing scumbag asshole lawyers get fucked over.

P.S. Burn in hell you scum

Last week I would've given a kidney to anyone in this office. I would've reached right into my stomach and pulled it out for them. But now, no. I don't have the relationship with these people that I thought I did. I hope they ask, so they can hear me say, "Uh, no, I only give my organs to my real friends. Go get yourself a monkey kidney."

Jenner Block is a TTT

Last week I would've given a kidney to anyone in this office. I would've reached right into my stomach and pulled it out for them. But now, no. I don't have the relationship with these people that I thought I did. I hope they ask, so they can hear me say, "Uh, no, I only give my organs to my real friends. Go get yourself a monkey kidney."

Man, I hate the ATL version of Michael Scott even more than I hate the TV version.

~ Meantime, this has got to be a whole new philosophy in layoffs. Not performance-based, not "economic," instead these are "we're doing so good right now and are so much more efficient, that we don't even need these people anymore!"

I buy that. Really. I swear.

It's always funny when idiots don't know how to properly click the "post comment" button.

"[W]e have received confirmation that Jenner & Block has had to lay off 34 staffers."

They didn't HAVE to do anything.

Boo Hoo -- who cares.

It's always funny when idiots don't know how to properly click the "post comment" button.

It's always funny when idiots don't know how to properly click the "post comment" button.

Any word on the potential for attorney lay-offs at Jenner?

1st California
2nd Chicago
3rd NEW YORK CITY

very sorry to the affected staff but, generally, this is good news for JB. the firm made a "layoff" announcement and it had zero associates in the announcement. litigation shops are weathering this storm better than others.

Is the Chicago Office as litigation focused as D.C.? How busy is J&B

Last week I would've given a kidney to anyone in this office. I would've reached right into my stomach and pulled it out for them. But now, no. I don't have the relationship with these people that I thought I did. I hope they ask, so they can hear me say, "Uh, no, I only give my organs to my real friends. Go get yourself a monkey kidney."

It's always funny when idiots don't know how to properly click the "post comment" button.

It's always funny when idiots don't know how to properly click the "post comment" button.

It's always funny when idiots don't know how to properly click the "post comment" button.

It's always funny when idiots don't know how to properly click the "post comment" button.

Any rumors to substantiate regarding another, deeper round of DLA chicago layoffs on Friday?

While Sidley is a Chicago based firm, they did not lay off 229 people in Chicago (as the story implies)....that was nationwide

7 agreed. David Brent >>> Michael Scott

First to say - I'm still Jenner from the Block - I had a little now I have a lot....

Seriously, who really cares.

#25, it's just more of the same Elie hating on Chicago and exaggerating the market there.

He's posted several times about how the Chicago economy is in SOOO much trouble and that it might be worse off than any other market (including NYC), which was of course completely unsubstantiated. Now, he twists headlines and relies on unconfirmed rumors of things happening. Not terribly surprising.

I don't know what kind of grudge the fat man has against Chicago, but he doesn't even try to hide it.

Jenner has been doing stealth lay-offs for a while, they have just been asking associates to sign a non-disclosure agreement that asserts that they are leaving voluntarily if they want severance.

What about that woman who had sex with two guys the same night and bragged about it to her lawschool classmates? Is she still there?

28 is right -- Jenner has been doing stealth layoffs of associates for several months now, at least since last summer. The laid off associates get 3 months severance (and get to stay in the office for that time) if they sign a non-disclosure agreement. The firm is just not busy, and younger attorneys have been told not to do so much pro bono work (even though there is no billable work).

Jenner also laid off a bunch of staff earlier this year -- not sure if those numbers are included in today's release.

28 is right. Plenty of stealth layoffs. Last year, at least, they were getting six months notice. So at least that doesn't suck.

How's their marketing department?

What I found the most interesting about working in Biglaw (before leaving to work in house at BigPharma years ago) is how many service partners are working without generating business.

They are great attorneys but they insanely expensive and I've actually had to institute a policy in billing that requires notification if a partner (aside from the two or three relationship partners) are handling our matters.

I can't handle seeing bills where some income partner is writing discovery, doing meet & confers over stupid shit, and writing nasty grams. This stuff isn't rocket science and can be handled by a 5th, 6th or 7th year who is well trained. And those people, in turn, shouldn't be billing me first-run document review.

We in house people are under constant cost pressure. While I can cover my ass by claiming that this is what the best costs, I have a hard time doing that when there is no appreciable difference from a 5th year at Sidley writing a nasty gram as compared to the nasty gram written by the partner at Covington. (these are just examples, but you get the drift). And before you claim efficiency, both sample firms billed me the same exact number of hours. This happens all the freaking time and drives my own boss mad. Sidley will get more work from us because I am saving 300 bucks an hour on it.

If I were on a management committee, I could see cutting 20-30 percent of the partners at firms without any appreciable difference in the kind of work product.

I get that the whole idea of partnership is that people get time to develop books or for old partners to die and hand down generational clients, but my own boss (A GC) is placing crazy pressure on us to justify why we are getting associate work from partners.

I'm surprised it hasn't come up more often.

And it's just getting worse #33. Because there isn't enough work to go around, partners and senior associates are hoarding work that should be delegated to more junior attorneys.

I'm an associate at Jenner, and I assure you that these layoffs are not due to the recession. Jenner is cutting ta small amount of dead weight - positions that are administrative, redundant, and/or filled by someone who is incompetent. These are people and positions that the firm should have ditched previously. Maybe the economy is making management get serious about paying people who don't earn their jobs. The firm had increased profits last year, is projected to increase profits this year, and we are very busy in litigation right now.

I am an associate at Jenner, and I assure you that these layoffs are not due to the current recession. Jenner is getting rid of a small number of positions that are truly redundant and/or filled by people who haven't been doing their jobs for ages. They are people that Jenner probably should have laid off or fired years ago, but maybe the current economy is finally making management take action. Jenner had increased profits last year, we are projected to do the same this year, and the litigation department is very busy (at least in NY and DC).

#35/36 - either you've had too much of the kool aid, or Susan Levy now posts on ATL.

29 - Was this person an attorney and were the people she supposedly banged attorneys? Any random skank can nail 2 guys in one night, it's only interesting if they're fellow attorneys.

What school?

under 40 comments. either no one cares about jenner, or no one cares about jenner staff.

"Fire them all!" Ted Tetzlaff, former JB rainmaker and future resident of hell.

in the grand tradition of Jenner managing partner mis-speak, first the grand eloquent MP congratulates herself on her wisdom and unique gifts and then lowers the sword on others. Perhaps there is a seminar where you learn PR tactics like this. Perhaps the more you say it the more you believe it. But this is what one sees in the behavior of incompetent despots in governments, corporations, and professional firms. NB - you don't "align your cost structure" by doing this when at the same time you are, once again, raising hourly rates. Your clients are smarter than you believe they are. So too are your associates. Peace. Out.

"like all well-managed law firms." How can you say this with a straight face? What's your secet list of well managed law firms? Don't you feel a tinge of shame when you praise yourself before damning others? If you were so well managed this would not have happened in the first place? If you weren't well managed then how do you square this with your last six press releases when you praise your well managed nature? At least it's an improvement from the last generation of mythology when the press releases first stressed how moral, ethical, and upright you happen to believe you are.

38 - this woman was/may still be an associate. As a law student she was known for binge drinking and hooking up with random dudes. One night she hooked up with this guy from out of town, went back to the apartment he was staying in, slept with him and then his friend. The nasty part was that she came into school the next day and began telling everyone. She was an insecure, overweight and snobbish person back then with IP and MBA pretensions that crumbled really fast.

boring

36 - My bird on the inside is hearing that the costs associated with your shiny new digs coupled with the economy are a bit strenuous on the old purse strings. Bad, bad, bad luck in timing for such a big and costly venture, I'd say.

Culling redundancy and fat? Please! This move of yours is going to hurt....bad.

This firm keeps laying more and more people off and every time they do it they accompany the announcement with a claim that they are doing really well. Not only is that a lie, it just rubs salt in the wounds of the people laid off.

This firm keeps laying more and more people off and every time they do it they accompany the announcement with a claim that they are doing really well. Not only is that a lie, it just rubs salt in the wounds of the people laid off.

This firm keeps laying more and more people off and every time they do it they accompany the announcement with a claim that they are doing really well. Not only is that a lie, it just rubs salt in the wounds of the people laid off.

This firm keeps laying more and more people off and every time they do it they accompany the announcement with a claim that they are doing really well. Not only is that a lie, it just rubs salt in the wounds of the people laid off.

This firm keeps laying more and more people off and every time they do it they accompany the announcement with a claim that they are doing really well. Not only is that a lie, it just rubs salt in the wounds of the people laid off.

This firm keeps laying more and more people off and every time they do it they accompany the announcement with a claim that they are doing really well. Not only is that a lie, it just rubs salt in the wounds of the people laid off.

This firm keeps laying more and more people off and every time they do it they accompany the announcement with a claim that they are doing really well. Not only is that a lie, it just rubs salt in the wounds of the people laid off.

And with all due respect to the associate who claims the firm is busy, you have no real idea what is happening there and you should wise up pronto. The firm is falling apart because it's increasingly a second rate place that is trying to charge first-rate prices. Even the first raters are struggling, so JB has very few options.

I know one of the staffers laid off. They are NOT getting "generous severance packages." Again, what lying assholes.