firsTTT

scooped by autoadmit days ago

Sorry- I would have some information for you, but the cafe car on the acela was closed yesterday.

why exactly are people "escorted" out? that seems so unnecessary

Is this like on American Idol, where all of the associates are brought down and strategically placed in multiple conference rooms. The partners then go around to each room and inform the room that they will be let go or they will be staying.

The other rooms freak out when they hear excited chearing.

First and Second years: Do not despair. If you have been laid off, I may hire you. I am a partner at a bankruptcy boutique firm that represents dozens of companies that are going out of business. My clients need bodies that will assist them with liquidation and fire sales. If you can stock shelves and do freight loading, I may have some temp assignments starting out at $20 an hour. I know it's not $160K a year but at least you will be doing something productive rather than rotting away in self-pity and depression. As a bonus, my HR dept. will help you with your law school loan forebearance applications. Stay tuned.

interestng http://www.blackbooklegal.com

wow...so autoadmit was right.

*nervously checks autoadmit*

-nervous T-10 1L
soon to be nervous 1L sa

"Those who get fired are escorted from the building by Adam and his staff." Is this normal? They don't even get to clean out offices, etc.? Or is this like a cooling off period, and they are allowed to return later?

ATL - you had better give credit where credit is due.

Earl Manigoat

"Have the designated associates report to the conference room. We are ready to give them their severance."

Nervous T-10 1L- Your employer will NOT LIKE the fact that you check autoadmit.

why do firms escort the fired people out? Can't they give them 20 minutes to cry in their office, then an hour to pack up and leave? I don't understand the "escorting" thing. Is there some sort of fear that associates will go "postal"?

10- Yes, they return later on. It was all just a big joke. For a reality TV show. They weren't just really laid off.

Blockbuster
Reader's Digest
Muzak
Flying J
Charter Communications
Visteon
Tronox

These are only some of the bankruptcy cases Kirkland is working on. Can't they throw some Lit and Corp folks at these, a la Weil?

Amazing that Kirkland associates were defending the firm so aggressively last week, all the while not even suspecting that they were mere sheep before the slaughter. Hiring such stupid associates is probably the cause of Kirkland's present woes. Firing such stupid associates now may actually qualify as a performance related layoff, even in this economy.

Writing's on the wall.

Stop having boring tuna! Stop having a boring life!

14, to make sure they don't steal anything.

They were never really a major New York player anyways.

15 - thanks for the no-purpose response. Clearly I was asking whether they are allowed to return later to clear out their offices and settle their affairs. Wow - you all will make fun of anything.

Reader's Digest
Charter
Muzak
Tronox
Blockbuster

These are just some of Kirkland's BK assignments. Can't they throw some corp and lit folks at these, instead of showing them the door?

I expect the Kirkland koolaid drinking trolls to start circling the wagons shortly. Kirkland trolls, along with Latham’s, have always been the worst. However, I fear it will take more than this for them to change their tune.

14, what the hell is a first year gonna steal? Post-its? It's not like you can walk out of a NY office and onto the subway with a computer.

I don't understand the escorting out from a practical perspective, especially when you presumably are going to pay them for another three months.

Do they not have active matters? Do you really want the client to have his email bounce back? And what about files? Are they going to task the remaining associates with rooting through offices to try and find out what is where?

Escorts provided to prevent them jumping out the window.
They really don't care about the jumpers, just dont want the liabiity if they hit someone on the sidewalk.

24: Don't knock it til you've tried it.

I really really really hate MWE. McStinker laid me off, then sends me a link to fill out the Vault Survey. Also, I got my business cards post lay off, and I am still expected to fill out my time. This is by far the worst run organization I have ever been a part of.

Law & Order is shooting today in our offices. They were also shooting yesterday. In addition to conference rooms, our art gallery was roped off. Unless the firm intends to create a terrible tv show out of the firings, there is no reason for worry - at least on account of the bookings.

The ship be sinking...

start the salvaging the scraps

-Marbury

"Are the conference room booked..."

Why IS there so many TYPOS??!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!

I'd sell your heart to the junkman baby
For a buck, for a buck
If you're looking for someone
To pull you out of that ditch
You're out of luck, you're out of luck

The ship is sinking
The ship is sinking
The ship is sinking
There's leak, there's leak,
In the boiler room
The poor, the lame, the blind
Who are the ones that we kept in charge?
Killers, thieves, and lawyers

God's away, God's away,
God's away on Business. Business.
God's away, God's away,
God's away on Business. Business.

Digging up the dead with
A shovel and a pick
It's a job, it's a job
Bloody moon rising with
A plague and a flood
Jain the mob, jain the mob
It's all over, it's all over, it's all over
There's a lick, there's a lick,
In the boiler room
The poor, the lame, the blind
Who are the ones that we kept in charge?
Killers, thieves, and lawyers
God's away, God's away, God's away
On Business. Business.
God's away, God's away,
On Business. Business.

Goddamn ther's always such
A big temptation
To be good, To be good
Tere's always free cheddar in
A mousetrap, baby
It's a deal, it's a deal
God's away, God's away, God's away
On Business. Business.
God's away, God's away, God's away
On Business. Business.
I narrow my eyes like a coin slot baby,
Let her ring, let her ring
God's away, God's away,
God's away on Business.
Business...

P.S. (from author of 29)

Shame on you, ATL, for trying to douse the fire of general nervousness in this city by reporting unfounded rumors. I hope your inattention to detail explains your departure from the practicing legal field.

Jesus christ, 24, are you really that stupid? Post-its and computers are the things that you think are valuable to a law firm? You are too fucking stupid.

It's lame and shitty to show people the door immediately and send them their personal stuff, but you can't say that there's no practical reason to do so.

@24 I invented Post-Its.

24, actually you can take the monitor and the stapler if use a box.

Yes; yes, 34. Its just that Law & Order is filming in the office. No layoffs here. Hammes had to fly in from Chicago to take a bit role in the show. To help the office out, associates will be expected to serve as gaffers, best boys and key grips. Great way to avoid layoffs and get some experience in the entertainment field.

You probably deserved it @28. You sound like a douche.

35,

No. But what the hell is a first year gonna steal? You can not give them access to their computer files and let them clean their desks out. That's what I mean. What is the point of escorting a junior associate out? It's not like they have client contact or ways to steal clients? Or would they risk getting in trouble with the bar by stealing documents and disclosing them as vengence? I just don't get it. That's all.

And by the way, you gotta realize sarcasm.

When will the v25 NYC layoffs start? Which firm will break the dam?

Autoadmit thinks Cravath. They scooped you on this one already.

Yes; yes, 34. Its just that Law & Order is filming in the office. No layoffs here. Hammes had to fly in from Chicago to take a bit role in the show. To help the office out, associates will be expected to serve as gaffers, best boys and key grips. Great way to avoid layoffs and get some experience in the entertainment field.

Did somebody ask for an escort?

i wanna be on law & order!!!!!!!!!

Web traffic from K&E to the New York State, Dept. of Labor, Unemployment Benefits Division just jumped ten fold since the severance festival was announced earlier this morning. Advice for departing associates: Don't mess up the rush hour commute tonight by throwing yourself onto the third rail in the subway. Be considerate of others.

I just looked at the conference room schedule, and the Hammes room is no longer reserved. There is one room checked out all day to "Firm Management Activities," though.

I just looked at the conference room schedule, and the Hammes room is no longer reserved. There is one room checked out all day to "Firm Management Activities," though.

yes, and L.A. Law was filming at Orrick earlier this week

what about feb bar takers? i know one that just got their offer pulled from a amlaw 100 firm, lets see some info elie...

#28 -- That's bad. :(

And I'm echoing the earlier questions: why is it necessary to escort people out of the building instead of giving them a few hours to get their stuff in order and leave the building?

#28 has doucheitis in a bad way.

40, do you know how long it takes to draft up a deal document from scratch? the firm doesn't want people stealing documents to use as precedent. that's the valuable stuff.

To 50 and others without a clue:

Because you don't know if a laid off person is gonna go ballistic and start stealing files, deleting stuff from the computers (not your personal stuff but important stuff), assault someone, cry and act hysterical and disrupt the office, put eggs in someone's desk drawers (as suggested by a commenter on this very site) or just generally act crazy.

THAT'S WHY SO STOP ASKING.

So is ATL jumping the gun early on K&E again?

If there is any truth to the L&O thing than this is just hilarious.

This is getting ridiculous... you people are too paranoid.

54: I wok there. It is true L&O is shooting in the office. These rumors have been circulating all week. I don't really know what L&O has to do with anything.

52,

I guess so. I just assumed at all firms I've worked at they all have a template. So why would you just steal it from one firm if the next place you go to work has it. But I guess that and someone going ballistic has reason.

To those yelling about me asking, sorry. I just have faith in man that they won't do flippin retarded stuff. And if it's a lay-off, not a firing, then I would think there wouldn't be a vengence reason.

Thanks to those who answered. And I wasn't the only one who asked.

TTT

53 is correct. Fired people can be loose cannons. It's about minimizing risk of an incident, some saga of a firm-wide e-mail, or a Jerry Maguire/Half Baked "quit" moment.

Co-sign 53, and it's hard to imagine anyone working at a law firm for more than a day and not understanding this. At my (big) shop, most of the documents on the file management system are open to anyone with access to the system.

...more like Jerkland & Jealous!

I'll be here all week folks.

50: Here is why the associates are escorted out:

These are Kirkland associates we are talking about here. They have defended the firm that is about to betray them with a vengence. They have drunk the proverbial kool-aid by the gallon. When they get fired, and realize how they were played, there is the potential for violence. So, they are escorted out.

I understand that Hammes will also be packing a taser at the layoff meetings in case an associate gets out of hand.

I think DUSTER is the best way to cope with layoffs! WOOHOO
*Sucks on can of duster*

It's already lunchtime on the East Coast. How is there nothing concrete yet?

Just checked Kirkland's website for anyone I know from law school. I was shocked by who they hired from my class, including one girl who would generate laughter (unintentionally) when she commented in class.

Is the memo on the shit cannings out yet? What is the severance package?

64,

Good question. Maybe because everyone is busy watching Law & Order get filmed?

Will the NYC paralegal manager get canned? And if so, who will do retarded Napoleon Dynamite dances at the holiday party?

What are you talking about? Those dances are great!

C'mon people. It was Flav-R-Aid.

LOLOL @ 68

OCEANS RISE

CITIES FALL

QUINN REMAINS

To 50 and others without a clue:
Because you don't know if a laid off person is gonna go ballistic and start stealing files, deleting stuff from the computers (not your personal stuff but important stuff), assault someone, cry and act hysterical and disrupt the office, put eggs in someone's desk drawers (as suggested by a commenter on this very site) or just generally act crazy.
THAT'S WHY SO STOP ASKING.

---------------------------------------------------------------
A better question is why does Kirkland need to do this when other firms let the associates hang around for several days of being laid off.

Partnership problems? Hammes is now Vice Chairman of the Management Committee. This is a newly created post.

Why layoffs in the New York office? The Chicago HQ has way more associates, especially corporate, that you'd expect to be the target.

Why is ATL (or at least Kash) so quick to jump on K&E? If you just wait for confirmation, instead of rumors, ATL readers get the same information without all the paranoia. Last week there was a thread up about these guys all day with no confirmation. In fact, the post was revised with comments from K&E incoming 3Ls discrediting the "Delayed Start Dates" claim that is linked after this post.

If a post has to request tipsters on questions like "Does anyone know what's happening in Kirkland NYC today?" or last week's huge "Are Firms Revoking 3L Offers" witch-hunt, it seems like little more than an effort to boost traffic, create fear (thereby boosting traffic), and expend little effort to engage in any real reporting or verification.

If your hunch turns out to be correct, this story still could have waited until later today or next week, and the only people worse off are those at ATL who profit from pageviews and ad revenue.

Now people should be back from lunch. What gives?? The people need information!!

Kirkland is kinda like Brad Pitt - Angelina Jolie - Jennifer Aniston - tabloid fodder.

Every dog has its day and I'm sure the Chicago office will pay the Piper soon enough. Remember, they are slated to move into a new building in April. I would look for lay-offs in Chicago right before (if they are merciful) or a couple of months after (after making the poor souls move and set up the new office). Sad stuff all around these days. Sigh.

There have been stealth layoffs of associates in Chicago in recent months.

78,

Piper? DLA Piper? Why is K&E paying them? Merger/severance?

There Kash. Now you have another "source" that has a hot tip about the impending stealth K&E/DLA merger and mass layoffs to follow. Enjoy!

Hey 32 -

It is: Why ARE there so many TYPOS??!?!?!?!!!!!!!!!!

Why do you publish these awful rumors? I realize this is a blog and not the New York Times, but can't you be arsed to do the least bit of journalistic fact checking? If you get an email from ke_sukz_995@yahoo.com do you consider that a source?

Some responsibility would be nice. These are stressful times for much of your blog's readership. Publishing these awful rumors without any good source or explanation is mean.

I'm not sure what's going on at Kirkland offices right now, but I'm a judicial clerk and my Kirkland offer was recently rescinded. I summered at Kirkland and was given an offer at the conclusion of my summer but decided to clerk after graduating from law school. Accordingly, my offer was deferred for a year for me to accept at the conclusion of my clerkship. Kirkland contacted me recently to let me know that their Fall 2009 class was"full" and because I didn't "evidence enough of an intent to return to the office" there was no room for me. It was clear to me that their decision was because of the economic situation, but instead of couching it in those terms, they essentially blamed me for clerking in a different geographic region from the Kirkland office where I summered. Kirkland seems like the type of firm that is so hung up on their reputation that it's beneath them to admit that it's actually affected by the economy. Because of this attitude, Kirkland attorneys won't get laid off with a great severance package like Latham offered, but will most likely just be fired as a result of a negative performance review. That's just the kind of firm Kirkland is--they would rather preserve their reputation than be straight with their employees.

This suit is NOT BLACK.

82 This is a tabloid, a scuttlebutt. If you don't like hints and speculation don't come on. I personally know that spending ten minutes on here is enough to scar the piss out of me. As a result, my work quality and quantity goes up exponentially. If anyone out there thinks they (or their firm) are completely safe and off-limits, well, they are fools.

Nobody gets to outright defer their offer for promised work for a year while they clerk on account of conflicts. 83 assumed, incorrectly, that the firm was going to want more 1st years in 2009. That sucks, and you got the shaft, but you can understand the other side of this. If I'm looking to keep associate levels low, I'm not going to make a job offer to someone who has shown they might not want to be around for more than 2-3 years. 83 made a rational career choice and turned down an offer, and now the firm did the same thing.

My sympathies to 83, but I feel like he/she will land on his feet with those magna cum laude credentials that landed him a biglaw summer gig and a federal (I'm assuming) clerkship.

86 --> kirkland recruiter

That's funny, 86, most other big firms let their clerks defer a year. In fact, most other firms want to allow thier clerks to defer a year to get that clerk experience. If K&E can't/won't do that, that shows how much trouble K&E is in.

IF 86 is K&E, this just about confirms the layoffs at K&E -- why else would K&E want "to keep associate levels low"? ANd, aren't layoffs the best way to do that? After all, can't keep associate levels low with the new associates joining in the fall if the current crop is not culled.

86: anyone who clerked over the last few years knows that the offer was there waiting for them.

regardless of the technicalities of the offer, 83's point remains: kirkland isn't being straight with people and saying "we need fewer people and are making a rational business decision, sorry." instead, they blamed the clerk who, I'm guessing, had every right to think they had a real offer waiting for them.

What's the difference for 83 if Kirkland says "its the economy" or "we don't want you because you won't stay"? Either way, he is going to tell any firm he interviews with that he turned Kirkland down because "it wasn't a good fit." Either 1) new firms believe him, or 2) they do not, but assume he lost his offer because of the widespread economic slowdown, despite Kirkland's claims.

83 is (rightfully) upset that he no longer has an offer and that he had to look for a different job. But like 86 said, he'll be just fine. No one thinks 83 is a crummy lawyer because he thought the good times would keep on rolling. Most people thought that.

3L in booming economy turns down offer to Biglaw, no big deal.
Biglaw in lousy economy decides not to offer former summer, very big deal?

I don't buy it.

Unique New York. Unique New York.

89: Anyone who was a first or second year associate over the last few years knew that they had a job waiting for them.

83, what office was your offer from? Or, to be more covert (and answer my question more directly), was it SF?

Wow, sensationalize much ATL? Imagine partners and departments reserving conference rooms to conduct meetings. That would be news to firms that don't have any clients or billable work.

Maybe it is time for those who aren't billing ,and are tracking the receptionists room bookings, to start working. To be fair this story was probably presented to ATL by the same case assistant that leaked the holiday party details. This time around it is all false and unwarrented.

What's going on at ATL? It seems you can't provide facts and that's why all your headlines need questionmarks.

Props to 91 for the Decemberists reference.

As for this thread, well chalk it up to another worthless rumor posted by ATL. Do you ever post retractions? This site has less credibility than Greedy Associates ever did.

95, you must be a woman with a small brain. That is a Ron Burgundy reference, because I'm Ron Burgundy?

to be fair to the editors at ATL, the layoff rumors and the conf rm info has been dissected in detail by the associates at the office this week. this is unlike last week when the story seems completely out of nowhere.

I thought about doing this "escorted from the building" thing as well. Then I realized there would be no one to let me back in after I escorted myself out. Too confusing. Besides, there aren't even any buildings here on the sandy beach with my laptop. Those cabanas are too far away to make it work. Awww, screw it.

Time for another frozen marg and more billables to pocket! *slurp*

I thought about doing this "escorted from the building" thing as well. Then I realized there would be no one to let me back in after I escorted myself out. Too confusing. Besides, there aren't even any buildings here on the sandy beach with my laptop. Those cabanas are too far away to make it work. Awww, screw it.

Time for another frozen marg and more billables to pocket! *slurp*

Whoa, I think I might be double-posting because I'm seeing double right now. Time to cut back on those margs. Barmaid, make the next one with just one shot of Cabo Wabo, please!

It's getting kind of late.... any new updates? I'm starting to buy the L&O theory for the reasoning behind the booked conference rooms.

Ron Burgundy, I gave you too much credit. Unique New York is from a Decemberists song released before your movie ever came out. I'm not even mad, I'm impressed.

101, the rooms booked to L&O state precisely that -- "Law & Order Shoot".. these rooms are separate bookings.

Kirlkand layoffs are...

28, ever hear of 7.5 09900-0011 Organize files.

102, I am going to punch you in the ovary. "Unique New York" is a tongue twister that existed long before whatever the Decemberists are. Besides, everyone knows that "Afternoon Delight" by the Starland Vocal Band is the only song that matters. And if you don't think that song is the greatest song ever, I will fight you.

Well played, Ron Burgundy. Well played.

Certainly *someone* at K&E would have posted here by now if layoffs were actually happening.

Why does ATL keep posting this stuff on Friday and then not update it ever again? Last week's "layoffs" post was "updated" via one paragraph in a different story (and it was 4 attorneys ... out of an office of 300).

Maybe there is something going on at K&E, maybe they are doing stealth layoffs, but its kind of weird to have (1) a post mentioning rumours of possibly small layoffs, and then (2) a later post saying the same thing, and citing the first post as "evidence" of continuing layoffs. Maybe there should just be a single post mentioning stealth layoffs and all the evidence.

We certainly do have confirmation, thanks to 83, that K&E rescinded at least one offer. We also have confirmation that K&E laid off at least four associates.

Where there's smoke . . . . .

Wow - I can't beleive how many of you ar jealous. seriously - did you think you were K&E material? LMAO - do you hate on Jones Day and Debevoise too. Maybe you should have worked harder in college and law school. For that matter try working harder right now and stop wishing bad things on other people. I honestly thought for the longest time that people like you were not real. Just made for tv/movie/book achetypes.

Seriously - many of you need real help dealing with the anger and frustration. It will eat you from the inside out.

Good luck.

Hey 111, Yannucci and Hammes told me to tell you that they need you to come down to the conference room. They want to talk to you about your future at K&E.

Good luck.

The douchebags that loudly brag about K&E and accuse others of not being K&E material are the reason that I turned down their offer from that firm for, GASP, a lower ranked Vault firm. Who the hell wants to work in THE eat what you kill firm with a bunch of assholes? Serious question.

Good one, 112!

111 reminds me of the guy in Roger and Me, the one who works at GM and says layoffs are just good economic horsesense, then gets shitcanned two months later.

This is garbage. Think about it, does it make any sense at all to have layoffs on the same day Law and Order is in the building filming. No. For some reason Kash has decided to become as bad as Elie when it comes to K&E.

How can you idiots possibly construe 4 people being let go in a firm of 1,400 lawyers as a layoff. Seriously, how would that amount of savings be worth the PR hit. Maybe (gasp) those 4 people weren't the best in their class and needed to be let go.

Conference rooms are just being reserved for a corporate meeting to discuss (i) how last year's bonuses were determined and (ii) where things currently stand with the firm. To impute from the reservation of conference rooms that mass layoffs are in the works at K&E is just not accurate (at least not in the immediate future). Perhaps there have been certain stealth layoffs due to the freefall of the economy, but nothing on a grand scale and certainly nothing like that will be announced in these reserved conference rooms.

As for what is in store in the coming months is anyone's guess.

Good luck to everyone and stop with the negativity - it is such a waste of time.

Kash - How about an update re 118?

118 speaks the truth. Stop the hens from clucking!

http://amlawdaily.typepad.com/amlawdaily/2009/03/kirkland-revenue-up-profits-flat.html

Way to go Kash...you really called this one!

From AMLaw Daily:

"The firm might be a tad nervous about its 11 percent jump in headcount--largely from new associates--bringing its number of lawyers to slightly more than 1,300. Most major firms are cutting their ranks, not significantly increasing them. Revenue per lawyer dropped just a bit, down 3 percent to $1.05 million."

This is probably why 83 got the shaft. I wonder how many others K&E is getting rid of on the DL . . .

OCEANS RISE

CITIES FALL

QUINN REMAINS FULL RETARD

Yes, 118. No doubt Kirkland partners have nothing better to do with their time than to discuss how last year's bonuses were determined (don't they already know?). As far as "where things currently stand" . . . there will be blood, and plenty of it, very soon. You are either a Kirkland shill or you are woefully uninformed. If anything, the conference rooms are being used to go over the death list and perhaps to see if anyone warrants a stay of execution.

Good luck to us all because we will most definitely need it. No one is safe when partners' profits stand to take a big hit this year.

119 - I wouldn't expect much. Kash has shown in her previous posts that she does not apologize for crying wolf where Kirkland is concerned.

125 - What is your point? That it is alright to announce layoffs are happening on a day that they aren't when they might happen in the future? Nobody is saying Kirkland is immune to the economic realities out there. People are just pissed off by the irresponsible reporting of this blog.

In response to 125:

The time devoted to the calculation of last year's bonuses was minimal and was carried out in the same fashion as in previous years. Most firms have a state of the union address so this is not earth shattering that the K&E bigwigs be present at these meetings. Only difference between this year and previous years is that the meeting was held in the firm's conference rooms (a move done as a cost-saving maneuver). I never left open the possibility that blood will be shed. I merely said that it is not happening in the immediate future and certainly not going to happen in these reserved conference rooms.

I am neither a shill nor woefully uninformed. I am just trying to clarify that the post is not accurate.

Have a great weekend and try to get laid 125 - you seem like an extremely uptight individual. Peace.

- 118

Well folks, Friday came and went, and there's no wave of layoffs at Kirkland. Just a bunch of disappointed bitter haters. Just like last week's bullshit article by Kash. What is it with you and K&E anyway, Kash, did some associate not call you back the next day? Ok, the guy's a dick. Move on.

And, could someone please show me where the 4 people laid off last week is "confirmed" by something other than an anonymous comment? People keep saying that here (ATL), but not *here* (i.e. K&E). It looks like the source is Kash's article last week, but she did not provide any source.

People bust Elie's chops for typos, but this kind of crap is worse. You suck Kash, Elie is way better.

129 - Check the non-sequitors. Apparently Elie buys what Kash is selling.

The field of law has its fair share of douche bags (especially big law). K&E certainly does not have the monopoly on that.

Could everyone get off the K&E hater band wagon? It's ridiculous.

Kash - a retraction of both last week's horseshit and this week's horseshit is in order!

It's really not that surprising that her posts are so bad. She's not a lawyer, and the entirety of her legal experience is a couple years as a Paralegal. That she's not much of a journalist is unfortunate given that she is supposedly managing "international educational programs for journalists." Maybe she should take a class herself.

http://www.abovethelaw.com/2008/03/kash_in_on_atl.php

Two straight Fridays: Kash drops hand grenades on K&E associates and walks away from the panic. Nice work.

I am willing to bet anything that the ONLY metrics used to determine the success for ATL employees is the number of hits and comments.

Which is why Elie intentionally makes typos.

And why Kash makes up stories about firms that people love to hate on.

Too bad.

One does wonder if ATTTL really has tipsters anymore or if they just pick firms out of a hat and hope that something they write gets near enough to the truth.

I'll tell you what's going on at Kirkland: I'm working my ass off!

No one got fired. Assholes.

Kash = Fail

What's Going On at Kirkland? Business as usual. NEWSWORTHY

People, just do a comparison. Look at the September 15, 2008 list of associates at K&E NY and compare it to the lost of associates at K&E NY as of March 15, 2009. Count the number of people not on the second list. Those are the layoffs (because nobody but partners with business got jobs anywhere else during that timeframe).

People, just do a comparison. Look at the September 15, 2008 list of associates at K&E NY and compare it to the lost of associates at K&E NY as of March 15, 2009. Count the number of people not on the second list. Those are the layoffs (because nobody but partners with business got jobs anywhere else during that timeframe).

139 & 140 - Hi Kash!

Yeah, Kash, do the comparison that 139/140 suggests and publish the results -- surely K&E won't mind the facts being published, would they? After all, the K&E associates posting here seem pretty confident!

139 & 140--That's a six-month period. I'm sure a couple of associates left. What's the big deal? Stop trying to justify your useless posts, Kash.

A couple of associates, 143? We both know that its a good bit more than a couple.

We also both know that the only associates that left during that period were fired. Let's get the count published and get these stupid-ass K&E associates (or maybe even NSP partners, which is the essentially same thing as a K&E associate) to try and defend the fact that loads of associates have been driven out of K&E during that time.

And this comparison is very favorable to K&E, 142. After all, it still counts the associates that are still on at K&E because their severance periods have not run out yet.

139, 140, and 144 a.k.a. Kash: Sure, do that analysis. That would be a little more informative/useful than the posts you have been doing.

I agree with 129. I work in the K&E NY office, and nobody could figure out who the hell ATL is talking about re layoffs. As far as anyone can tell, nobody got laid off (much like last week). Stop with these ridiculous rumor posts! Has anyone noticed that K&E posted one of the highest PPP for 2008?

144, that approach doesn't make any sense. K&E, like most biglaw firms, is a revolving door. I was a K&E associate as of 9/15/08 but am not now. I did not get fired. And I am hardly the only one -- off the top of my head I can think of a dozen or more associates who were at K&E as of 9/15/08 but left for AUSA jobs, clerkships, or something else. None of them were fired or driven out.

Kash is to K&E as Lat is to Cadwalader. QED

148 - Congrats on your 157 LSAT score brah. The analogy makes no sense since Cadwalader actually did what Lat said it did.

Any K&E NY associates have any idea if anything happened on Friday?

Summary: Law & Order was being filmed. No one was layed off. Kash is an idiot.

This morning Elie thought it wise to further dignify this inane rumor by referencing it in the layoff summary post. Why?

In a firm of 1300+ attorneys there are people that are asked to leave every year - in good times and bad. The only difference here is that the goodbye emails don't say that individuals have decided to take a position at a new firm, they just offer up gmail addresses. This doesn't change the fact that letting these people go is operating in the ordinary course of business and consistent with past practice. Another example of ordinary course operations - occasionally booking conference rooms.

One last thought - due to the general inaccuracy of the tip, I assume that your NY tipster is an associate, probably a junior associate. This person has an incredibly inflated opinion of themselves and associates in general if they think that Thomas Yannucci and Jeff Hammes are coming to NY to fire associates. If and when layoffs come to K&E it will be a local job.

So going forward, can we all take a little more time to think before we tip / post / speculate / unnecessarily panic people on a Friday? The rest of us would appreciate it.

"We also both know that the only associates that left during that period were fired."

144, I can name 4 associates off the top of my head who lateraled to different firms. Not saying that a lot attrition in the last 6 months has been because of stealth layoffs, but it's not universal.

Can we get more on Kirkland rescinding offers to clerks (see comment 83)? If true, this is the real story here -- not routine performance-based layoffs of 4 out of the firm's 1,000+ attorneys.

154 - There is no such thing as a performance based layoff. God, people sound so dumb when they whine about layoffs everytime a bad attorney is fired. Layoffs are probably coming for all firms, but K&E hasn't had them yet. Wait for them before you start bitching.

152 is right - that type of fire power is not allocated to associate layoffs. Or, heaven forbid, the Duplicating Department!

155 -- Whether you want to use the word "layoff," "termination," "firing," or whatever, it's all performance based to a certain extent. The only question is how deficient must your performance be to lose your job, or how stellar must it be for you to keep it? Even when economic conditions motivate a firm to reduce headcount, performance is a factor. The laid off employees weren't selected by throwing darts at a list on the wall. Even though their performance might have been adjudged "adequate" or even "good" under normal economic conditions, they were deemed the 5-10% least necessary associates. Reduced business dictated a 5-10% decrease in headcount for their firms, so they were laid off.

Ya need to thin out the herd every so often.

Take a look at each person's salary and then divide that by their billable hours. The 10% with the lowest bang for their buck should be canned. Paralegals too. Just because someone's been there 5, 8, 15 or however many years doesn't necessarily translate into them being more valuable than another. Morelikely, it means that these old timers are getting paid way more than the new people, probably have a greater sense of entitlement and are therefore generating a lesser bang for their buck.

The biggest waste at lawfirms these days are secretaries. With everyone being computer proficient, every firm having word processing departments, and with voicemail for phones, the role of the secretary is really become more and more undefined. Any bidddy over 50 yrs old or any sloth heavier than 150lbs should be let go. Partial credit to be given to those with big tits, tight asses, or low morals.

Summary: Law & Order was being filmed. No one was layed off. Kash is an idiot.

ATL, what is your policy on trusting sources that have just made shit up on multiple occasions? I realize it's not a perfect science, but how many times are you going to trust this guy/girl enough to make a featured story out of K&E rumors that turn out to be complete fabrications?

Total non-story. Total non-starter. In fact, several associates voluntarily left for other jobs. One is now at Greenberg Traurig in Miami. Is he one of the so-called four? One got a soft firing for good reason after several warnings. Is he one of the so-called four? This site really needs to keep the rumor proviso as part of its posts until it has some actual information.

kirkland lawyers get all pissy when they hear these rumors, most likely because they're scared shitless about getting laid off (just like the rest of us!). see, e.g., 151, 152, 161. obviously, these rumors haven't been corroborated, but everyone knows that the top law firms aren't going to be insulated from this economic meltdown forever. and, kirkland is so prestige oriented, that i wouldn't be suprised if it has quietly been firing people and/or rescinding clerk offers without calling attention to it. kirkland attorneys: stop drinking the koolaid and realize that your firm is fallable. good luck.

Yeah, 162. We do get annoyed. These are uncertain times. When websites like this print utter bullshit with no basis or foundation, it makes it that much worse. It needlessly panics people to get cheap publicity.