Calling All Drunken, Unemployed, Chicago Lawyers
You wouldn’t think it would be hard to find a group of unemployed Chicago lawyers these days. There are a lot of them lying around. But can they overcome the collective action problem to join together for an epic bender? Let’s turn to Craigslist to find out.
Here’s the text from an ad that went up earlier this week:
Looking for Desperate Lawyer! (Chicago Metro)Seeking desperate lawyers to form drinking club. Job duties include drinking with the thousands of other out of work/can’t get a job/fresh from passing the bar grads like self who lack the connections/money necessary to find even minimal legal employment. Must be fluent in Scotch-Whiskey, Irish-Whiskey, Smithwicks, Bass, Harp, and any other sophisticated blue-collar drink. Occassional duties of blacking out from excess alcohol will be called upon as needed.
People who dig criminal defense and wasted hundreds on Lexis/Westlaw for their overpriced Illinois books will be given extra consideration.
Interested applicants may respond to the email listed above for further consideration.
Matt/David
www.myspace.com/mattdavidfilms
Oooh, they have a website. Let’s check out the virtual backstory after the jump.
It’s worth noting that this Craigslist post was not made by the infamous Craigslist poster we’ve featured a couple of times before. Apparently, the desperation among young lawyers is growing.
Over on his Myspace page, we learn that Matt/David is an Indiana native that has passed the Illinois bar. Congrats!
But there could be an ulterior motive for trying to bring together of depressed lawyers for a night of general debauchery. Matt/David is interested in film — an interest that is best expressed by the picture below:
It’s not too much of a stretch to think that any kind of Miracle Mile case race he organizes will provide excellent stock footage for his next work.
But motives aside, shouldn’t more unemployed lawyers be getting together for drunken affairs that may or may not lead to massive civil disobedience? Unemployed people still need structure in their lives. Couldn’t we get a national unemployed lawyers beer pong tournament going?
There’s no better way to wait out the recession than in the quiet comfort of an alcoholic haze.
— This message has been brought to you by the makers of single malt Scotch.
Looking for Desperate Lawyer! (Chicago Metro) [Craigslist]
Earlier: Graduated Top of Your Class at Harvard? This $28K Job May Be For You
(55) 
Comments
La Raza = racial separatism
Second
Do you have to be unemployed? I'm a Chicago 3rd year and it sounds like a pretty good time to me.
Idiots.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
He is unemployed because he is from Indiana.
I Love It!
-Denny Crane
What a suprise that Elie takes another shot at the Chicago legal market.
3 - No, you don't have to be currently unemployed. Impending unemployment qualifies as well.
Damn, for once I momentarily wished I lived in Chicago. Is there any chance of forming a similar group in NYC? The heck with "sophisticated blue-collar drinks'; we can meet at the primo dive bars for $2 beers and $7 pitchers. And free shots from the halter/bikini-clad bartendresses.
I would like to request a DC chapter as well pls.
11, to the extent it still exisits, I would recommend meetings at the Common Share on 18th in Adams Morgan. Ah, the (blurry) memories. Dan's Cafe is a strong second.
You don't see this kind of crap in Delaware!
Why do I even come to this site anymore? Elie's writing is so goddamn boring
I can’t go out drinking because I work weekends. I have to work weekends because I go home early on weekdays and watch reruns of Hardcastle and McCormick (now available on DVD!).
It's the Magnificent Mile, the Miracle Mile is in LA
15
Watching a pedo judge on "Hardcastle & McCormick."
Good role model, that.
Scotch whiskEy? Poser.
When the recession ends, ATL will have absolutely nothing to write about.
Hai mye naim iz Elie. N I m wee tod did.
18: "Poser"? Poseur.
MysTTTal
If anyone wants to get a houston branch going, I'll post something up. 3,500 sq foot wives and lexises must be left at home though.
If anyone wants to get a houston branch going, I'll post something up. 3,500 sq foot wives and lexises must be left at home though.
I am sofa king we todd did it!!!!
17
You’re thinking of Gordon Jump’s character from that special episode of “Different Strokes”.
http://chicago.craigslist.org/chc/lgl/1194426953.html
Would someone please investigate this?
Magnificent Mile, not Miracle, you east-coast elitist prick.
Is Hardcastle & McCormick hiring? It sounds like a nice quality of life firm.
If I wrote professionally for a blog, I would, to the best of my abilities, produce high-quality, interesting, well-written, grammatically correct, relevant writing. I would try to avoid writing in a way which suggested that I was careless, inattentive to detail and did not care about the quality of my writing.
Sotomayor IS QUALIFIED. She read Nancy Drew books as a child.
That's it.
Oh, and she's "latina."
28- Yeah good call on Miracle Mile- great movie- you got Anthony Edwards and LA gets nuked- What more could you ask for?
Most of the toxic liberals on this website were in High School when Bush was elected in 2000. Asking them to remember how liberal arrogance and incompetence led to 1994 or 1980 is a waste of time and energy. They are fools condemned to repeat history.
Seems like a ploy to get that promiscuous Jenner associate out to party. Too bad she doesn't look like that model.
"There's no better way to wait out the recession in than in the quiet comfort of an alcoholic haze."
Jesus christ on a candy cane when you defy the odds and think of something genuinely funny to write you might try to construct the sentence correctly!
And I LIKE your writing. It's like dating the cute girl with really crippling acne. Some day man, some day, it'll pay off.
I liked this idea the first time I heard it. When it was in DC and called the Breadline Bar Crawl.
I laughed reading the ad BUT we (me and all my girlfriends) can't stand DRUNKS. Yuck. I don't care if they are employed or not. FIrst-off they al think they're more clever than they are, cuter than they are, smarter than they are, and they STINK, literally. Like old booze. They are all puffy faced and big bellied and stinky around the arm-pits. Who wants to be with a weak, woe-is-me guy? No one I know. They disgust us. I was laid off too, but I didn't let myself go to self-pity hell. A word to you drunk lawyers out there. We'd rather bed criminals from Alcatraz, at least they'd have their wits about them, be in good shape, and smell fresh from all that prison soap. Whereas you are all whiney, weak crybabies.
10 - Name that establishment
I find that people like 37 who don't drink are covering up for much bigger problems than us drinkers. In her case it sounds like she's trying to deal with the fact that she's a huge bitch and generally unlikeable as a person.
Tsk, Tsk…#37 here. Sorry you don’t like the fact the women don’t like drunks. Nonetheless, it’s a fact.
What women in her right mind wants a guy who can’t control himself and has such little self-respect that he wants to wreck his body and mind on a regular schedule?
We are sick of guys who brag about getting wrecked. “Boy, we got wrecked last night, didn’t we?” That’s Ok when you’re 19, not when you’re 26. We want clear-headed men, who have courage and stamina. How many bar fights have we seen between drunken lawyers? Too many. How many near rapes and rapes? How many great guys turn into monsters when they’re drunk? Too many.
Drunks don’t do anything good for anybody and they are dangerous to be around on because if they don’t respect themselves, they sure won’t respect you. As you, #37, have just proven with your sloppy remark that I must be an unlikable bitch. No #37. I am a woman who likes real men, not whiney little drunk boys who look for other little drunk playmates on Craig’s List.
Correction to Post #40 :
In paragraph #3 I meant to address #39 in both instances when mistakenly, I stated #37.
Mary Lou
Correction to Post #40 :
In paragraph #3 I meant to address #39 in both instances when mistakenly, I stated #37.
Oh, and by the way, I enjoy good wine.
Mary Lou
37/40 - How can you reach your keyboard from way up there?
37/40, this a law blog (allegedly) frequented by law students and lawyers. Sad to say, your song and dance probably gets no quarter here.
37/40, this a law blog (allegedly) frequented by law students and lawyers. Sad to say, your song and dance probably gets no quarter here.
38: You could start with Patriot Saloon or Port 41. There are others....
#45, I am a lawyer, albeit a laid off lawyer. If you comment means that all lawyers are drunks, and if I'm not a drunk therefore...?
I saw this "Calling All Drunken..."as a chance to sound off about something you drunk guys don't seem to get, that we don't like drunk guys. We love guys, but loathe drunk guys. We'll endure them for a night. But we'll talk behind their backs. Make fun of them and never respect them. Just thought you lawyers on this board, out of work and working your 1800, might want to know.
We don't hang out with drunk women either. Do you like drunk women? Would you consider marrying a constantly drunken woman? Take her home to meet mom? Want her for the mother of your children? Would you hire a woman associate who was known to stumble around and fall on her face?
As long as you endure a night's ass pounding, you can talk behind our backs all you want, make fun, and give us no respect. Enjoy yourself 47 - after all, we do.
Here! Here! #48!
Please stop feeding the troll.
Also, an NYC chapter of the drunken lawyers club is an excellent idea.
#50 I concur. What are your favorite places?
It may not be true all the time or may not be applied all the time.
Solicitor
Clearly the author of this ad doesn't know about Meetup. Sure to get loads more responses that way. :-)
Hey...some of us do like the drunken guys (so long as they don't throw up and can still aptly perform). Cheeky.
37/40 was just pissed cause she said it tasted like cheap cigars and cheaper bourbon. What, like I'm going to switch to a mango diet?