Graduated Top of Your Class at Harvard? This $28K Job May Be For You
A few readers have sent along the link to this Craigslist ad for an “ASSociate Attorney” based in midtown Manhattan:
Small, congenial law firm needs top notch associate attorney to join our exceptional team. Please do not apply if you do not meet the following requirmenets: [sic]1. Top half of the class at Harvard, Yale, UPenn, U Michigan, or Georgetown; top 10% at U Chicago, Boalt or UCLA. Top 1% everywhere else.
2. Law review and/or moot court experience a MUST.
3. Federal Clerkship REQUIRED.
4. Must be willing to accept $28,000 per year. $10,000 bonus for billing over 2500 hours a year. The bonus is pro-rata more, so it is worth the extra billing.
5. Must be willing to make coffee every hour, on the hour. The position is open becuase [sic] our last associate sustained severe burns from the hot plate in which the coffee post rests. We had to discharge him as he required too much “leave” time.
6. Insurance after two years, with employee contribution at 50%.
7. Must be willing to share a desk with a paralegal. She said you can have the top drawer.
8. Must be in the office by 8am, and remain until 10pm. On Fridays, you can leave by 9:30pm.
9. Must be a team player.Please send resume to the link above. Good luck- hope to see you soon!
We ASSume this is a joke. It’s not the first time an attorney frustrated by the job search has used Craigslist humor to vent.
We’re curious, though, about the law school biases. You only have to be top half at U Penn to meet their requirements, but you have to be top 1% at NYU or Columbia. What’s up with that?
UPDATE (12:16 p.m.): The man behind the ad steps forward. It’s not his first appearance on these pages. And he gives us hope that the job market may just be improving, after the jump.
Our old friend from January is back. As you may recall from our January post, he’s “a 30-year-old New York attorney, who has been doing contract work since he graduated from a New England law school in 2005.” He’s still trying to find a new higher-paying job.
Here’s his response to our e-mailed inquiry in response to the ad:
I am the same guy who posted the fake CL ad back in January. Last time, it drew so much attention. Moreover, and more importantly, I received plenty of positive feedback (i.e. “you’ve made my day”)- basically because job seekers are so stressed out right now that they needed something to laugh at.Unlike last time, I have not received resumes. This is a relief; either people are not as desperate, or I made it clearer that the posting was a fake.
Yay for fewer desperate job seekers! That’s a good sign, right?
All together, I am thrilled that I make people laugh in this bullish economy. If I have offended anyone looking for a job, I am sorry, but it is not directed towards them. Please keep my name anonymous. I may post another one. And yes, it is worth the $25. My job situation isn’t going well, either. But again, I should be grateful to have a job!
Anonymous poster is currently making $60K. A mere $25 is a small chunk of change, and worth the ATL fame, we’re sure.
ASSociate Attorney (Midtown West) [Craigslist]
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Comments
FIRSTY!
A poem I wrote for laid off Lathamites. Don't get down. The world is your oyster and you'll come out of this for the better.
-------------------------------
Standing Tall
By LL
Sometimes the world looks perfect: Nothing to rearrange.
Sometimes you just, get a feeling like you need some kind of change.
No matter what the odds are this time, nothing’s going to stand in my way.
This flame in my heart, and a long lost friend.
Gives every dark street a light at the end.
Standing tall, on the wings of my dream.
Rise and fall, on the wings of my dream.
The rain and thunder. The wind and haze.
I’m bound for better days. It’s my life and my dream,
Nothing’s going to stop me now.
You have to pay to advertise on Craigslist. Why would someone pay for something this dumb?
blatant GULC trolling
Hey, I am willing to share the top of a desk with a paralegal. Or if they like to be underneath the desk and work on me while I work...
slow news day kash? this post is mystttal worthy, but we expect more from you
Serious question. Say you're an associate who lost his job, would be in appropriate to ask your live in girlfriend to advertise on craigslist (no penetration, just massage) to help with the bills?
I like these posts
ugh. terrible attempt at a joke. and you just legitimized it by reposting it here. take it down.
3, maybe someone lost a bet?
Not even funny.
This ad sounds better than working at TTThompson Hine. I'll take it!
Subtle GULC trolling
143
The funny thing is I read the whole post because it was well written (and didn't realize it till after I was through the post). Then I realized, oh Kash wrote it...figures
Based on the stipend amount, they should do Public interest job sharing
UCLA troll
Top half from UPenn? I think they mean UPenn State - Philly Campus, which is the far superior PA school. Clearly this employer has not studied the US News rankings this year.
GULC haters are lame. Get a new bit.
- GULC hater hater
Orzo: pasta or rice?
Quick poll - which group of whiners is more annoying:
1) Lathamites (probably just 1 person, claims to be many) - constant gay bashing.
2) Thompson Hine - 1 (maybe 2 or 3) vitriolic people constantly beating dead horse about pay cut/layoffs/etc. and maybe 1 or 2 people of the "yeah, it sucks but don't crap where you eat" variety.
Which group is more annoying?
I'm voting lathamites, b/c I really don't care for gay-bashing.
Though the TH guy(s) keep having the same flame war every day, which is just flat out tedious.
Thoughts?
21 - Personally I vote for the GULC haters.
- GULC hater hater
I think it's funny. I also think Roxanna may just have found her next job!
Enough. Please don't repost these. It's obviously a joke, and not a funny one.
pasta, definitely
21 - I vote for the X-Lathamite hater(s) (probably one) who got tossed like an old cum rag by the firm.
2 - incredible. I laughed out loud at the reference.
I dunno what's wrong with me, but I'm focused on the "bonus is pro-rata more". What does that even mean? Pro rata of what?
Has Latham laid off any first year associates?
I was at my favorite first-year-associate-hangout-pub last night and heard some rumblings that they may have.
This is actually how a lot of small firms run. I'm working for a solo right now in NYC. He's requiring me to work 6 months to a year before I can have medical insurance. I currently have 2 surgeries I need, and an additional which is minor (optional). I'm paid slightly more than this advertisement. Most of my paychecks each month go to my rent in NYC. I have been looking for another job, but in th meantime have survived on credit cards (something I never had to do before in my life). I don't have any family to support me, so it's not pretty. Did I mention Tier 1 Graduate and Law Review Senior Editor? All the good it did me being the last one out of my law school almost every night.
Just thinking aloud here...
If I, as a qualified applicant, applied for this position, relying on its availability, and later discovered that the advertisement was a hoax, would I have any basis for a lawsuit?
I seem to remember something from contracts that might be applicable here.
21,
It's got to be the Lathamites. Their laid off and homophobic. What is their goal of their complaining?
I see your point that it gets old, but what else can remaining associates do when their pay gets slashed, friends are constantly being "fired" for "performance reasons", and the secretaries won't even listen to you (let alone do stuff) unless you are a partner? If we complain at work, we're the next ones out the door. If we don't complain, they keep crapping all over us.
Do firms scan the comments of ATL? Frankly, I don't know. But potential associates and SA's do, so maybe this creates some negative pressure on recruiting, creates bad buzz for the firm, and results in a rethinking of strategy?
Maybe, though I admit the possibility seems pretty remote. But, again, I ask you all, what else are crapped on associates supposed to do? If this isn't it, what is the effective means of voicing our grievances and trying to change what our firm does to us without putting a big "Stealth Fire Me" bullseye on our backs?
What else should/can we do?
-12
To the individual who posted number 30:
I imagine you are regretting not only your late nights at law school but also your decision to attend law in the first place. Graduates of top legal institutions rarely need to accept such meager wages, so I sympathize with your plight. Perhaps I can arrange for some extra work for you on the side. Please describe yourself in further detail.
The best schtick on here is the Promissory Estoppel...I fucking love it.
31 is a great example of this.
31, I'm not sure what you could do either. I took contracts just last semester, so I'm pretty well versed on everything. I bet you could, and don't quote me on this, I'm kinda going out on a limb, have a claim under promissory estoppel. You might want to look it up under the Restatement 2nd on Contracts, and, also, I'd recommend that you speak with your old contracts professor first. But that's just me.
32 - After work you are probably sitting in the bathtub of a bath house letting people piss and shit all over you. Why do you stay? You must love it.
Poorly executed.
31, I'm not sure what you could do either. I took contracts just last semester, so I'm pretty well versed on everything. I bet you could, and don't quote me on this, I'm kinda going out on a limb, have a claim under promissory estoppel. You might want to look it up under the Restatement 2nd on Contracts, and, also, I'd recommend that you speak with your old contracts professor first. But that's just me.
21,
Also, I believe there are only 2 TH haters (currently). I don't do all of those posts, but the ones that aren't mine seem similar to each other. So, I assume there are 2 of us. Not sure how many we have of the "yeah it sucks, but" variety.
Honestly, I don't care how many posters from the firm we have. I'm much more concerned with how many partners and stuff are getting this anonymous picture of how unhappy and disgruntled some (most?) of us are. There may not be many of us posting our opinions, but suffice it to say that the office water-cooler conversation is not that of happy and valued employees.
-12
Disgusting GULC trolling.
This still sounds better than sullcrom, though.
40 - An ATL poster from three years ago called, he wants his bit back.
- GULC hater hater
It sucks that Elie lets people like Partner EmerTIUS @33 imitate Partner Emeritus.
It really dilutes PE's brand name. Further, it is a reflection of the imitator's doucheyness.
39 - It is bad all over but complaining isn't going to change your situation. By complaining, what does that say about yourself? Is that what you will teach your kids, things suck so just bitch about it?
It sucks that Elie lets people like Partner EmerITUS imitate Partner Emertius.
It really dilutes PE's brand name. Further, it is a reflection of the imitator's doucheyness.
43--I don't think the Latham trolls are just complaining.
I think they are also trying to inform and persuade--what lawyers do.
Certainly, this trolling has impacted the reputation of Latham among law students in their recruiting pipeline right now. Most law students read this blog.
33 may be the best bit of all time.
I love the new PE and the suggestive undertones of his postings. Much more interesting than the old, convervative and offensive PE.
This was obviously posted by a GULC grad.
42 = PE
47 - We know you are PE. Let the "Shut up PE" begin. Shut up PE
42 and 44 is the original and bitter PE who lost everything.
I think he is really kicking himself.
I WANT MORE PROMISSORY ESTOPPEL
I WANT MORE PROMISSORY ESTOPPEL
48 probably beats his dog.
- GULC hater hater
43,
Amusing way to frame your response as "won't someone please think of the children".
In any event, I think the message to children would be that those in power that can (and do) harm us are themselves subject to social/reputational pressure.
-39
47=PEi
45 - Another X-Latham tossee.
Shut the f*ck up PE
I got hood-winked. Well played sir!
-50
45 - What incomings will learn from reading this site is that Latham will let the whiners go first.
30 - Come work in the oil patch. Natural gas and oil are on the rise once again my friends.
not funny, which is why it was posted on this site.
Partner EmerTIUS is a loser and an idiot. Bring back the real PE
60 - Law student here, and I don't see it that way. Who's been whining?
Needs more burdog.
46 -- guys in my high school came up with funnier shit all the time
Latham comes off as a bunch of assholes, laid-off and employed alike
63 = sad and bitter old PE
55 - Your parents really did a number on you. I honestly feel sorry for you.
No one wants the real PE back.
67 - I am sure that you have reached that opinion about everyone including yourself.
CRAIGSLIST RISES
SALARIES FALL
QUINN FOR 50 ROSES
CRAIGSLIST RISES
SALARIES FALL
QUINN FOR 50 ROSES
69,
I gather that your comment is intended as an insult, but it doesn't actually make any sense.
Stating that people in power are subject to social/reputational pressure... how does that lead to a conclusion that my "parents really did a number" on me?
Since I'm such a nice person, I hereby give you permission to attempt additional insults that actually make sense. You can also try and make it funny, but I recommend you start with baby steps and work your way up.
-55
Pointing out that GULC is a diploma mill and that its graduates are sweaty and desperate is not bashing. It is merely pointing out the facts.
74 - Yes, you are one of those entitlement children. Got an award for just participating. Thought they would hand you $160k for just showing up? Who taught you that?
What is your real complaint? The work is too demanding for the big $$$. I am sure if you are working the firm could care less if you quit, go do something less demanding but please STOP BITCHING BECAUSE NOBODY CARES!
75 = deluded poster clinging to old bit because he can't come up with a new one.
- GULC hater hater
76,
Literacy is hard, I understand that and appreciate that you keep making efforts at it. Good for you.
That being said, once your reading comprehension improves you'll be able to see that my complaint is about getting paid less to do the same amount of work, not a complaint about the amount of work.
Gold star for effort though. Keep trying! You'll be able to properly read, understand and evaluate short paragraphs in no time at all at this rate! This time your comment made sense, now you just need to make your comment actually relate to the comment you are responding to.
Me - Getting paid less sucks!
You - Quit complaining about the quantity of work.
Please try again. You can do this!
-74
74 - Your answer is to bitch about your job situation thinking the partners care...wait and see when another round of lay-offs happen. Is that what you did to your parents when you weren't happy. How do you equate that with social pressure? GO ON STRIKE.
78 - Getting paid less sucks compared to what..not having a job and you have no sense of entitlement?
79,
You're almost there! So close! I don't think that the partners care that I'm unhappy. I suspect they care whether prospective laterals and summer associates think the firm is a shitty place to work. Again, my attempt is to put pressure on the partners, not an emotional appeal.
Would you like to take a 5th try at making a logical AND on-topic response? I really think the sense of accomplishment it would give you could be useful for your self esteem.
You can do this!
-74
78 - Where in your originally post (55) did you state that your bitch was getting paid less. Why do we have to drag the nature of your complaint out of you?
81- I am sorry that the real world is such a different place than the picture your parents painted for you.
80,
A logical and on topic response. Yes, getting a paycut is less shitty than being laid off. I agree with that.
I am also willing to admit that when I do the work I promised to do, I do feel "entitled" to be paid the wage I was promised.
If that is supposed to be a character flaw, then I suppose you got me.
On the topic of my shitty firm, Thompson Hine, they are doing both layoffs and paycuts. So, by your correct logic, that is worse than paycuts and is something associates should be upset about and is a proper basis for complaint. Yes?
84 - It is not an either/or neither is worth complaining. People get canned that is life. Leave, Unionize, sit in or burn it down but bitching = effective social pressure. Wake up.
84 -- I don't think you work for TH. If you actually did the work you promised to do (i.e., stated minimum hours), you'd be getting your full salary back.
Don't even think of applying for that one -- I just got my offer letter on it suckas!!!
85,
You're on a roll, now. Whether what I am doing will/could have any effect whatsoever is very much an open question. If potential laterals and summer associates get a sense of what happens at Thompson Hine, maybe my approach has a small effect.
Since you're pointing out the problems with my approach (and I agree that those problems exist), any suggestions for a different approach that (a) is likely to be more effective, and (b) doesn't get the person doing it fired?
You see, I would much rather take a minimally effective approach that preserves my job/salary than martyr myself. Any suggestions are very welcome. I don't think "leave, unionize, sit in, or burn it down" are improvements over my approach (though the notion of a sit in makes me smile)
I was in the top half of my law school class at Stanford. Sadly, I am not qualified to apply for this position.
86,
Absolutely 100% incorrect.
Here's what TH associate used to have:
Base salary + possible bonus = lots of money
Here's what we have now:
Much smaller base salary + harder to get bonus = almost as much as the old base salary.
We've covered reading comprehension, hopefully this less on Math will be much shorter.
88 - Bitching about your situation is like picking at a scab, it is not going to fix it.
88 - Leaving won't get you fired. Why stay and bitch? Everybody would love to make more money but not everybody bitches about it. It speaks to character.
91,
Maybe it will help a little, but, yes, almost certainly not. But, that being said, I don't see how it really hurts things and it gives me something to do while I wait for incompetent partners to try and bring in some actual clients and work.
It mildly amuses me to do this. It amuses me because others in my firm read this blog and I can see the associates sizing eachother up trying to figure out who amongst them is the one doing this. I don't know if any partners have seen yet, but that would very greatly amuse me.
So, is my approach really so bad? It doesn't hurt, and provides me some diversion from the stress of being on a sinking ship.
RIDICULOUS GULC TROLLING.
93 - No and I am not even a lawyer so don't bother with the sizing.
Can we bann law students from the bored. They know less about the law then they realize. Why don't you all go work with Ralph nader and sue everyone you can for promissory estopple.
PE - You are the man... (and a dirty bird at that)
93 - nor do I work for any law firm or in house counsel.
95
Who would even hire top 1% at NYU? It's trash.
92,
Leaving isn't getting fired, but the result is the same. No job, no salary. If another opportunity becomes available, trust me, I'm leaving.
Lastly, I'm not bitching due to my desire to "make more money."
I'm bitching because I'm being paid less money. It is a fine distinction, but I think most people would say bitching about having something taken away from you is not the same thing as bitching because you want additional stuff to be given to you.
Most people of character have enough self-respect to believe that other people should follow through on their commitments. The job market is bad, so firms are unilaterally changing the terms of employment. Yes, they have the power to do this, but that doesn't mean the victims have to take it without complaint.
Are you really so offended at the notion of associates talking about the shit treatment they receive?
99 - You are just venting but to think anybody cares or ='s effective social pressure?
99 - You continue to vent without changing your situation (quit, part time additional work) have you thought about yoga instead? Think of the others (family, friends) that may have to hear your bitching off this site.
F it trying to be an associate when you've got real experience under your belt. I think these guys have the right idea
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/sfc/lgl/1158618127.html
Subtle UTTT trolling in his posts. worth the $25?
That sounds like a decent opportunity provided the attorney is covered by the Workers' Compensation and the law firm has at least $10MM in general liability insurance. Severe burns could fall within the grave injury exception of Section 11 of the Worker's Compensation Law, and if so, the attorney could work for a a few days, sustain a grave injury, sue the law firm, recover a few million dollars for his/her injury, and retire a year later.
Whoever it is does not understand the law school rankings
This is hilarious.
Top 49% at Georgetown DOES NOT HAVE A CLERKSHIP, so by its terms this demand is ridiculous.
Gtown over Chicago is ridiculous.
Chicago over NYU or Columbia is ridiculous.
Penn over... well... anything, is ridiculous.
THIS THREAD IS USELESS WITHOUT PICS.
I hate all of you
This is news? This blog is such a fucking piece of fuck.
106--- Penn over anything is ridiculous? I think thats a bit harsh.
This is CRAZY....