Open Thread: How to Handle An 'Ornery' Partner?

The ABA Journal addressed a question that is near and dear to the hearts of many associates: How do you deal with a partner that is a big, bad meanie? The story comes from a weekend Wall Street Journal article on handling interoffice bullies. Apparently, a Jones Day associate had the perfect tonic for her blustery boss:

Chelsea Grayson, 37 years old, was an associate at the law firm Jones Day in Los Angeles when she was placed on a series of deals with an ornery senior partner. “He was very intimidating,” she says. “He’d give me these unrealistic deadlines, saying sarcastically that there were 24 hours in a day. He never smiled, and I just thought he didn’t like me.”
Ms. Grayson resolved the situation by making an effort to look at it from the senior partner’s perspective. Nearing retirement, he was under pressure to train the next generation of lawyers while making sure key clients were always happy. “Once I understood his motivation, I decided to take responsibility for changing the dynamic,” she says. “I demonstrated interest and enthusiasm whenever we’d interact, and eventually he became my mentor.”

Something tells me that Ms. Grayson managed this magic trick before the economy went into the tank. Are there strategies that are more relevant to the Great Recession for dealing with mean bosses?
Let’s explore, after the jump.


Given the wretched economy, many associates are likely to take a “thank you sir may I have another” approach to interoffice conflict. Apparently, these can have long term health risks:

“Research shows that going through life angry causes long-term physical and mental problems,” says Bob Sutton, an author and professor of management science at Stanford University. “Ridding yourself of dysfunctional conflict also means that you’ll have more friends to support you as you move forward in your career.”
Dr. Sutton suggests that many difficult relationships are the result of a vicious cycle of offense and revenge, or one person trying to one-up the other. “Stop trying to win, and treat it as a problem-solving exercise,” he says. Like Ms. Grayson did, he recommends assuming the best about the other person’s motivation, and then delivering on what the boss needs.

Of course, research also suggests that losing your job and your health insurance can also cause long-term physical and mental problems. I don’t know about you, but I’d rather have a dysfunctional professional relationship than a blissfully tranquil interaction between me, my couch, and daytime television.
But is there a way for associates to redress problems at work without risking their jobs? There is anecdotal evidence that the survivors at firms that have conducted large-scale layoffs are under more stress than ever. Some people are working very long hours, and are expected to be thankful for the opportunity to be completely maxed out.
Successful associates speak up. Should people just suck it up? Or should associates still bring up relevant career concerns with the appropriate people? A recession is no excuse for inhumane working conditions. Right?
Manage Office Bullies [Wall Street Journal]
How a Jones Day Associate Dealt with an ‘Ornery Senior Partner’ [ABA Journal]

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