[Ed. Note: The following piece was authored by "The Legal Tease" of Sweet Hot Justice fame. You can check out all of Legal Tease's other musings from Sweet Hot Justice here.]
I’ll admit, this is probably a bad idea. But I’m sorry, I can’t help it any longer. I’ve had one in every other job I’ve ever had and it’s about time I had one at the firm. I’m not going to be particularly picky about it. I just want one–I need one. Because it occurred to me last week, sitting in my giant bed in the middle of the night, alone, watching an old Law & Order marathon, if I don’t get the juices flowing soon, I’m going to dry up, die of boredom, and go the way of every leading lady lawyer the Dick Wolf gang has ever offered up–which is to say nowhere at best and crumpled in the trunk of a car at worst. In other words, it’s time: I need a work crush. Stat.
One small issue, though: There’s no one to crush on at my firm–hell, within a mile of my firm, it seems. After you weed out the lawyers who aren’t indisputably trollish or creepy or latent pervs, only a handful of possibilities are left.
I guess there’s always Pete, my immediate supervisor and work buddy. He’s a great guy, cute in a sort-of asexual hipster way, and has good hair and a mellow, easy-going personality that’s a nice foil to my more manic vibe. But he’s happily married and just had a kid–very look but don’t touch, which kind of kills the point of having a crush. Part of the thrill is the possibility that something actually could happen, isn’t it? OK, forget Pete. The only other candidate, then, might be Alex, a newly minted partner who’s genuinely lawyer-hot, just dickish enough to make him that much hotter, and definitely single. Only problem is, he’s one of the most socially awkward lawyers in the building, notoriously avoids eye contact with women, and last I heard, lives in a two-story house with his parents.
So. That’s it: a married, asexual dad and a socially retarded powder keg who may or may not live with his mom. This is depressing even me. The upshot is becoming painfully clear: If I want a work crush, I need to move on to my clients.
And she does, after the jump.
Continue reading “Bring On That Client Contact”