Judge of the Day: What’s more [cowardly] than [vandalizing] another man’s automobile?
A Texas judge has been indicted for keying his neighbor’s Range Rover. The Houston Chronicle reports the possible penalties for criminal mischief in Texas:
Woody Ray Densen, 69, could face 180 days to two years in a state jail and a fine of up to $10,000 if convicted. He could also be disciplined by the state Commission on Judicial Conduct.
That’s all you get for keying another man’s truck in Texas? I thought that was a capital offense down there.
Judge Densen’s alleged vandalism was caught on tape. It was worth him doing it, just to catch him doing it:
Adam Kliebert, a 40-year-old home builder, set up a surveillance camera in his Rice Village-area driveway that recorded a man he identified as Densen walking behind his 2006 Range Rover and appearing to pause and tamper with it on May 23. Kliebert has said he was frustrated that someone kept damaging his SUV, leaving him with repair bills for $3,000.
After the jump, let’s check out the video.
We found the surveillance video on Blogonaut. Maybe Judge Densen was just admiring the car?
Judge Densen’s lawyer, Robert Pelton, insisted that Densen did nothing wrong:
“There is no actual proof that he did anything to this man’s car because he didn’t do anything to the man’s car,” Pelton said. “This is a case of a neighborhood dispute. We had an investigator showing the damages could not have been the amount” claimed by Kliebert.
But Kliebert has additional evidence against his neighbor:
In a secretly videotaped conversation, Densen told Kliebert he didn’t know who damaged the vehicle, but suggested the vandalism might have occurred because the SUV was partially blocking the sidewalk.
Right. And maybe the vandal’s keys accidentally scraped back and forth against the SUV in a scratching fashion because of that same sidewalk blocking.
Judge indicted in keying of neighbor’s car [Houston Chronicle]
Texas Judge Is Indicted for Allegedly Keying Neighbor’s Range Rover [ABA Journal]
JUDGE ARRESTED AFTER KEYING NEIGHBOR’S CAR ON SECURITY VIDEO [Blogonaut]
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Comments
Wow. A judge thinking he's above the law. What a surprise.
Also, thank you, Elie, for calling it a truck. You're exactly right.
He actually referred to it as a truck, a car, and an SUV. Way to hedge your bets, Elie!
The video proves nothing as he doesn't seem to have a key or similar object in his hand or pocket. Not guilty.
No way that pear-shaped woman did that with her fingernails. I blame the kid on the bike.
The dog looks WAY guilty
Breaking! What's worse than the annoying Dealbreaker, "greed is good" tadpole commercial? The laughable ATL ad they have over at DB. Ugh.
Elie's contempt for anything not yankee-liberal-douche is getting old
Did everyone see the puff of smoke from the grassy knoll?
Thanks 1.
2. I wasn't hedging. I was just trying to use the right word for all of our different audiences.
Happy Friday
--Elie
7 - You're a moron.
A Range Rover is not a truck. Trucks are used to do things like pull boats and haul lumber. SUVs (particularly Range Rovers) are used to take the kids to soccer practice and grab mocha frappacinnos.
I agree with 10.
Wow - clear case of vandalism. Hope he gets jail.
"It was worth him doing it, just to catch him doing it."
That's my new "boom goes the dynamite."
Where did the dog go? He seemed to have the dog on a leash when walking left, but when he walks back there's no more dog. Maybe he's guilty of more than just keying a car/truck/SUV.
What is the penalty in Texas for toilet papering another man's 3500 sq ft wife?
was the title a pulp fiction reference, elie? if so, very nice.
3, presumably the owner will also testify, i.e. there were no scratches back there in the morning but by afternoon there were, lets look at the tape and see who it could be. this is plenty of circumstantial evidence to convict.
And a truck could be defined by its purpose as 11 has or by its chassis.
oh, also just saw that line in the middle. elie, your stock has momentarily risen . . . although the potential for you to write something lame by the end of the day certainly exists.
-17
I'm sure he voted for Obambam.
11 - is correct. Range Rover is SUV to its soccer mom, latte core.
11, don't blame the truck if people want to use it as a Starbucks-getter.
Don't even think about parking that piece of shit next to my Lexis.
Ft. Worth attorney
Range Rover drivers have no friends.
elie, shut the fuck up and go finish your dozen jelly donuTTTs
CLEARLY, the only way to end key violence is to ban keys. In the least, we need a 2-week waiting period and an extensive background check.
Certainly, in the topsy-turvy world of the Texas Bench, having a good solid key in your hand is often useful.
Also, the manufacturer of the keys should be held accountable in a court of law.
This would never happen in Texas.
23..."Lexis"? Try Lexus next time.
23..."Lexis"? Try Lexus next time.
23..."Lexis"? Try Lexus next time.
30-32: is your falling for flame schtick?
you suck at using brackets, ellie
That is a totally inappropriate response to a vehicle blocking the sidewalk. The proper response is to cave in a sidepanel with a forceful kick.
I just sharted in the elevator and do not know what to do.
Panic in NYC
In Texas, a man has the right to defend his keys from sidewalk-intruding Range Rovers.
"A wise Latina woman would have douched the paint with muy caliente hot sauce. And then stolen the rims."
-- SotomayOR!
Elie, is it true you can eat your weight in sandwiches at one sitting?
Guy with a lot of sandwiches
10 + 12 = Elie
good pulp fiction reference though
Ya'll have clearly never spent much time in Texas. The term 'truck 'is used there to describe any and all SUVs, regardless of size or make (from Porche to Ford).
Yours Truly,
Southern Bell
In furtherence of my pledge to create or save 4 million jobs, today I announced the appointment of a new vandalism czar to oversee a program of mass vandalizing of existing automobiles to encourage consumers to go out and purchase new, fuel efficient vehicles from Chrysler and GM. This will in turn allow these companies to hire more American union workers to build cars at a loss, the loss being subsidized by the Federal government. Change has arrived, my fellow Americans. Change has arrived.
I'm Barack Obama?
Slightly off topic but important question nonetheless: Who would win in a fight- Ellie's moobs or Kash's ass lobster?
41: Do you mean "Southern Belle" perhaps?
41:
It's "y'all," not "ya'll." "Y'all" is a contraction of "you all."
i love munching on kash's ass lobster.
@45 - No its not.
I do not understand what an asslobster is. The moobs thing I get, but the other is a mystery.
Can someone please splain it to me?
Seriously guys, someone tell 48 what an asslobster is.
-Kash
PS Elie's moobs are bigger than my boobs...but I bet you'd still eat my ass lobster.
Elie you need to stop with the little jokes; youre not funny. you don't have the gift. just give us the facts, ma'am.
we get it. you like pulp fiction. let it go.
BTW, hiz honor has been keying cars in the victim's driveway for so long that the Mercedes that was also being keyed now belongs to he EX GF.
And, lay off Elie. We should have left the South secede from the Union way back when. Their GNP would now be somewhere south of Guatemala’s. Ya’ll.
Texas has some serious issues ... If you think this keying up Rovers are bad...
Lets not forget the Joe Horn fiasco where a guy KILLED two people burglarizing his neighbors home as they were running away (not posing him or his neighbor any threat) WHILE HE WAS ON THE PHONE WITH A 911 OPERATOR. The really screwed up part. There was no indictment!! The Houston jury (and acquiescent DA's office) decided to return a no-bill.
-two people (black and Hispanic) were murdered
-the case did not go to trial (no-bill)
-the DA's refuse to re-introduce it
-the previous DA was publicly ousted for using "Canadian" for the N-word ( http://www.petitiononline.com/MOJ2008/petition.html )
Apparently, Texas has found a way to get rid of those Canadian's and Mexicans. Does that mean TEXAS is not part of NAFTA??
Incidentally, Texas overwhelmingly supported the shooter, and have a long history of "accidentally" returning no-bills for any and all federal laws that they disagree with.
What a psycho!! and just when i was starting to believe in our justice system and the people in it: http://lawblog.legalmatch.com/2009/06/18/trusting-americas-lawyers/
180 days - 2 years in jail for keying a car?! The judge should hire Donte Stallworth's attorney.
-53
That's just one of the many reasons that Texas is awesome. Don't fuck with people's shit and you won't get killed.
52-
You realize that Texas alone has the 6th largest economy in the world?
I tried to read 53's rant but if he can't string together proper sentences, I don't think he has anything to say worth my reading it.
Just saying.
Isn't Texas part of Mexico?
53- You are a liberal fucking hippie. Go read some Maya Angelou.
DON'T. MESS. WITH. TEXAS.
Suck it losers.
53 - what part was the fiasco?
-BigTex
53 - The Joe Horn thing makes me want to move to TX. I'd be happy for my neighbors to take care of my stuff when I'm gone.
Here in Illinois we still think that guns cause crime. Of course, we also thought that Obama was a good senator.
Clearly couldn't pull the Range Rover further into the driveway due to his 3500 sq ft wife.
Hey 53 - before you pull out the racism issue, wasn't Joe Horn defending his Vietnamese-American neighbor's property? A white guy defending a light brown guy's property against other different kids of brown people is racist?
Asians are really just white people in disguise, right?
Joe Horn is not white.
http://offsideswithfletcher.files.wordpress.com/2008/05/joe-horn.jpg
Did he perform one of his wacky touchdown dances over the hemmoraging corpses while still on the line with 911?
If so, I too would refuse to prosecute.
whoopsie, i meant 'hemorrhaging'
[ Adam Kliebert, a 40-year-old home builder . . . ]
The "victim" is a home builder. Judge should have torched the a-hole's car/truck/suv/whatever. I've never met a scrupulous home builder. Also, the home builder demographic tends to have a bunch of WT toys (harleys, sport boats, jet skis, campers and rvs) in their garages. Then they park their cars/trucks/suvs all over the gd neighborhood. And they tend to have a lot of vehicles. Home builders are real dbs. F them.
64 - Horn's neighbor was Clint Eastwood so no.... he does have slanty eyes sometimes...
64 - Horn's neighbor was Clint Eastwood so no.... he does have slanty eyes though...
53 - how can "Canadian" be used for the "N-Word"? isn't that kind of like saying "Black" is used for the n-word? Unless he's quoting something and replaces the n-word with "Canadian", then only the n-word can be used for the n-word... dumbass.
"That's all you get for keying another man's truck in Texas?" -Elie
Elie, don't you ever, EVER refer to a Range Rover as a "truck" again. Do you understand me?
41 - STFU "southern belle". You are out your element. "Trucks" in Texas mean pick-up trucks, only. Maaaaybe you could get away with calling a suburban or tahoe a "truck", but that's it. Anything that doesn't have a bed is an "SUV" or a car. I've actually noticed the exact opposite of what you are espousing: people up North have a tendency to call SUV's "trucks", even though they're not.
- Texas native, Dallas Summer Associate.
66 FTW, notwithstanding the Mystalian spelling mistake.
- 66's mom
That's all you get for keying another man's truck in Texas? I thought that was a capital offense down there.
-----------
Truck keying is capital punishment here, but a sissy Range Rover is not a truck.
Comment removed by moderator.
It's a truck. Period. It's not a pick-up truck--just a truck.
SUV is just some made-up marketing bullshit.
-Texas BigLaw
Hey 73, you'd better get back to work or we're going to no-offer you.
- Texas native, Dallas equity partner.
P.S. Based on your crappy definition of a truck, we're proooobably going to no-offer you anyway.
This Judge needs to get a job at King and Spalding - the firm where partners vandalize each others cars ... and, if he is willing to have sex with clients, they might make him the hiring partner
Kinky Splading has multiple offices in Texas, If the Judge will send me his resume, I will help to set up his interview at the firm