Okay that's a quality blog post finally.

Cyndi Lauper, not Cindi.

It's gold, Jerry, gold!

*Sigh* If only I were billing time....

MysTTTal

once again, ellie misses the point. this video is even more relevant now that clients refuse to pay bills and want huge discounts on every fee

Bankruptcy lawyer.

Billing time.

What is that supposed to mean? My dog has a better voice than Madonna.

Great video; reminds me that we're all in this together. Shout-out to the hard-working capable attorneys on unemployment lock-down...keep your heads up

What's all this crap about billing time. Lawyers are supposed to practice law. This is where the train left the tracks decades ago, when billing time became the equal of practicing law. It's time for a change, a huge change.

I never had to bill an hour. If I did, I don't think I'd be able to afford the payments on my Dodge Stratus, and I love that car. Since the federal government has no competition, we have become really efficient in my office, and have evolved past the need for things like detailing the number of hours spent working on a case. It's because of this efficiency that I get to be home by 4:30, working on this chess set I am making from rosewood and maple. You see, I bought a stock of rosewood and maple, and I'm in the process of whittling myself a chess set, and fashioning a gorgeous chess board. It's beginning to really take shape, lately.

11 gets it, a few years ago (when corporate was booming) at the associates retreat the managing partner gave a talk about the firm generally, yadda yadda yadda and pretty much came out and said that we should view ourselves as salesman, and that we sell to our clients is our time. Nothing was stated about client service or quality.

Wonderful message to young, impressionable attorneys. It doesn't matter what quality of work you do, its how much you can bill and what you can get your client to pay you. This "profession" took a wrong turn a couple of decades ago, and we're just now paying the piper.

Lawyers.Are.Huge.Fucking.Nerds. So glad I work for a small start-up and not with lawyer nerds. You guys are so sad I don't even know what to do for you anymore. Just realize that you don't have to be miserable all the time. Your life will get better if you just kill the idea that you are supposed to be a miserable suit for your whole life. Fuck! Get some balls!

12 = rejected from fed. agency that he thought was beneath him.

15, nice to meet you, sir. I am an Assistant US Attorney. I work in an Economic Crimes Unit in regional office on the east coast. How may I help you? Do you play chess?

14 - Do you work for one of the many start-ups out here with no money that wants to pay me in "sweat equity" and Peet's? Good luck being the next facebook.

-- laid-off in SV

Seriously, Elie, do you try to mix your metaphors because they don't make any sense. "A Hazmat Suit during a nuclear winter"? It doesn't make any sense whatever. Nuclear winter is the effect of a whole bunch of crap getting blown into the air, both directly from the blasts as well as from resulting uncontrolled fires, and is bad because it removes sunlight and cools the Earth and has very little to do with the radiation involved in a nuclear war. That stuff is fallout. But a Hazmat suit is not insulated. It's meant for protecting you from bad stuff (including radiation) while still allowing you to work to clean stuff up.

Ugh.

17 - sounds like nobody wants to pay you, seeing as you are laid off and all. Good luck being the next Fenwick partner. And yes, there is a reason in-house lawyers treat you like a dick.

Asked if he had spoken to the President, Wright said: "Them Jews aren't going to let him talk to me."

20, are you laid-off in SV?

A sign of the times:

Today, Dave Gordon walked into my shared Latham NY office and said:

"We're going to Bennigans!"

21 - Who isn't laid-off in SV? Ha. Ha. But, no, he's not 17.

I do not want to live in a world where my summer lunches are at Bennigans and Dennys.

- Suicidal Latham NY Summer Associate

Listen Dave Gordon, I would rather stay in my office and do the pro bono work all the fired associates were doing than go with you to Bennigans.

17/laid-off in SV = shooter in DC

Stop your whining 24. If Latham doesn't fire you after a few months of working, you should feel grateful.

Still gainfully employed.

Skadden Secure

ps YOU ARE ALL IDIOTS

28, there are about 100 Latham first years who wish they'd gone to Skadden. Or Paul Weiss, or DPW, or Gibson, or, just about anywhere else.

23 - you are weird and likely 20. I think you should go to SV.

I am going to do everything I can to make sure Skadden NY does not pick up any Lathamites.

Skadden Secure

ps. YOU ARE ALL STILL IDIOTS

I feel fortunate to have been able to practice biglaw during the glorious decade that was the 1980's. The law firms were still elite, and once you were in, you were virtually set for life. As a young associate, I had constant access to gorgeous women and cocaine.

And don't get me started on the summer programs during my day. For those 2009 graduates who want to feel really crappy about how bad their timing is, read this: http://www.nytimes.com/1997/08/14/nyregion/but-no-80-s-excess-at-law-students-summer-programs.html?scp=17&sq=milbank,%20tweed&st=cse

Yo baby. So check it out. You know what I like about you, dog?

Every week, you're bringing it. You really took this song and made it your own. For me, it was a little pitchy for me in the middle, but you're what this competition is all about. Amazing.

Elie, why did this song make you "terribly nostalgic?" As if you were really billing hours in 2007, you pathetic piece of shit. Aren't you really nostalgic for 2007 because double cheese burgers were still 2 for 2?

Government lawyer is INCREDIBLY OBNOXIOUS. Not a welcome addition. Get rid of him, Elie. That said, boy, was 2007 great. 1997 was better.

2009: still billing, keeping associates busy - and mostly getting paid, but worried more now. And worrying a lot about all the layoffs (read:oversupply)....

litigation partner @ regional firm in the south.

34,

Take your hand, place it gently around your anal opening (in much the same way that you do every Saturday night to ease your loneliness) and ram your arm in to extricate the turd that makes you so insufferably constipated. Perhaps then your posts will be interesting to read.

@32. Good find with the article. Summers working 70-85 hour weeks? Holy hell. I don't buy it.

80s Guy - you're about the only schtick I like, although I admit that being a huge Futurama fan makes me completely biased. Also, that article you posted is pretty interesting. The line from the Debevoise partner cracked me up. When talking about a firm pottery outing:

''If the summer program isn't enough like summer camp already,'' said Bruce E. Yannett, a Debevoise partner, ''we wanted to be able to send a bowl home to their mothers.''

These past articles, videos, and other media dealing with the way the practice of law was are good reminders of the past and help keep things in perspective. How about a weekly segment posting something like this, Elie? 80s Guy's article would be a good one for next week.

More HLS articles please

Where is Nervous top 10?

Thanks for the kind words, 38. It's Hammertime!

I liked that one guy's Alizee video a lot better. Does she sing this song?

Don't say hammer when referring to the 80s. That was Eric & Rakim time. Hammer ... sheeot. That's early 90s.

Anyone who would like to make the lives of others better while enjoying this video might consider contributing to Volunteer Legal Services of Central Texas -- http://vlsoct.org - the organization to which all monies raised from the purchase of this song (and others) written and sung by the Bar and Grill Singers go (http://www.barandgrillsingers.com).

Vickie Pynchon
http://negotiationlawblog.com
video maker

...and why do you have to crap on Madonna? Seems like someone has vagina envy.

Now you're defending trash like Madonna just to go after Elie? 45, get thee a life

I'm seriously going to have to post more here. This site rocks!

Suja
------

Automated FTP

I'm seriously going to have to post more here. This site rocks!

Suja
------

Automated FTP

Where all the Jobless Lawyers at?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gd0DFPfUKwA

Quality not really that good, but topical at least.

Heard this yesterday, cannot take credit:

a paralegal was walking along the beach and noticed a lamp. the paralegal took it home and wanted to display it, so he shined it up. all of a sudden, out pops a genie. the genie said that he will grant him three wishes, but whatever the paralegal gets, the genie will give lawyers double. okay, said the paralegal. so, the paralegal asks for $1billion, and gets it. the genie then gives every lawyer in the world two billion dollars. the paralegal asks for a 10 inch dick, and gets it. the genie then gives every lawyer 10 inch dicks, inlcuding the females.

what is your .last wish, my paralegal master?

The paralegal thinks and says, "Beat me half to death"

Heard this yesterday, cannot take credit:

a paralegal was walking along the beach and noticed a lamp. the paralegal took it home and wanted to display it, so he shined it up. all of a sudden, out pops a genie. the genie said that he will grant him three wishes, but whatever the paralegal gets, the genie will give lawyers double. okay, said the paralegal. so, the paralegal asks for $1billion, and gets it. the genie then gives every lawyer in the world two billion dollars. the paralegal asks for a 10 inch dick, and gets it. the genie then gives every lawyer 20 inch dicks, inlcuding the females.

what is your .last wish, my paralegal master?

The paralegal thinks and says, "Beat me half to death"

50.51 here: crap, i pulled an elie and said 10 instead of 20...guess i should have gone to harvard.

We're gettin the band back together!

After a brief 2-year hiatus, Bar & Grill is back! If you liked this video, and you want more, come on by and check us out! We haven't set a date for the show yet (check www.ayla.org closer to Aug/Sept. for info), but if you're in Austin that weekend, we'd love to have you! All proceeds from ticket sales go to charity.

I remember 2007 - it was January of that year that the liberals took control of Congress! That was also the year of their first budget that raised the debt AND the year that the economy went to hell!

Thanks for bringing it up!

More: Govt. Lawyer and more Hardcastle & McCormick guy.

Much less: crybaby "elite" firm associates bleating like little lost lambs.

Gov't Lawyer is a fake. ET works for the fed gov't and can testify that only a few crappy agencies hire sloths like Gov't Lawyer. Its possible that Gov't Lawyer has a cut 'n paste job at the SSA, but nothing more serious then that.

55

I fucking hate pedo Hardcastle & "Skidmark" McCormick.

There's a good reason why that show crashed off the road flaming and burning with black smoke giving off an oily residue.

57

55 here - to each his own matey.

Kashmir,

Imagine a young New York Attorney, educated at Fordham, cut his teeth at Shearman and now diligently building a corporate solo practice here in the City. Our attorney is hardworking and ethical and has a lot of what it takes to be successful and in fact will one day be known as the founder of a renowned firm (he's just that good!). But alas....
He is Nigerian born with an obviously Nigerian name and a smidge of an accent to boot and every week has to watch as another potential client goes from the "yes" to the "no" column once he declares (proudly, even though it gets harder with every lost retainer) his country of origin.
I'm Nigerian Kashmir. I'm American too. Everyone applies the scam stereotype and I take it and smile cos I do have a great sense of humor but you know what? After a while it starts to burn. It takes a financial and emotional toll but hey ,what do you care? But I care and cannot brush it off when the General counsel of Shearman sends out an email to the entire firm warning about a "Nigerian Scam" email that had infiltrated the system (the email was not even from Africa). It is also hard to brush it off when I log on to ATL for my TGIF fix and there I am, on full blast and you don't even know if it is a Nigerian based scam.
If a scam is confirmed as Nigerian then by all means call it such but until you do your due diligence, may I suggest you think about the hundreds of attorneys like myself who have to bear this additional and completely undeserved burden.

50 - wouldn't those have to be 20 inch dicks?

Crap I didn't read 52, I should have gone to Yale.

Crappy joke anyway.