Tuesday, June 23, 2009 3:50 PM - By Above the Law
A while back, Above the Law put out a call for new interns.
We were flooded with applications. Nearly 80 people sent in résumés, writing samples, and funny emails showing they had the stuff to deal with the irreverent world of Above the Law. We saw many qualified candidates, and we want to thank everybody who applied.
We have selected three people to join the fray. They’ve been working behind the scenes for a couple of weeks now. Moderating comments, editing copy, and conducting research projects. We’re now ready to publicly welcome them to the larger ATL community.
After the jump, say hello to Karen, Matt, and Alex. Each one of our new contributors has taken the time to write a brief bio, for your amusement.
KAREN:
I am very excited for the abuse (and copy-editing) awaiting me as a new intern here at ATL. I am a recent graduate of UCLA Law, and since my J.D. is now as unmarketable as my B.A. in Ancient Greek History, I am exploring career possibilities in the writing and media world. Lord knows they’re hiring. I have worked for the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Washington, D.C., in the New York and London offices of a V20 firm (TTT, of course), and at the Los Angeles County District Attorney’s Office. I went to Columbia University for undergrad.
I currently live in Los Angeles, where I can often be found at the beach, bar review books beside me, just waiting to be opened.
MATT:
Glad to be joining ATL as an intern this summer. While earning my B.A. in Sociology from Stanford University, I became a member of Building a Better Legal Profession — and, despite the seemingly prophetic arguments against law school attendance, I plan on going to law school in the not-so-distant future. Over the last few years I’ve interned in the Office of the Governor in Des Moines, IA (this was back in the Tom Vilsack days); The Century Foundation, in Washington, DC; and The College Board in New York, NY. I’ve also done some writing and probably most notably pitched in for the pro bono and elite law firms chapter found in the absolutely outstanding Building a Better Legal Profession’s Guide to Law Firm (Kaplan 2009). Oh, and I’m also a proud native of Waterloo, IA.
ALEX REX:
Alex Rex was born and raised in California and currently studies law, politics and journalism at New York University. Rex hopes to one day become a prestigious lawyer and then give it all up to become President of the United States (if such a title still exists in the future).
If those ventures fail, Rex will focus on becoming a nightclub owner like a present day Steve Rubell — excluding the part about being shut down for hiding narcotics in the walls. Rex enjoys making friends, academy-award-quality movies, and individually wrapped fortune cookies. Rex hates nature and Wal-Mart
We are very excited to have these three new members of our team. Welcome!
Earlier: Above the Law Wants YOU: To Be an Intern
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Comments
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first!
Make sure they make plenty of spelling and grammar mistakes. You wouldn't want to take that away from the spelling/grammar nazis around here.
Second!
Thumbs down to Alex Rex. What an obnoxious bio.
Frist!
Karen is hot. I'd hit it.
Karen -- awesome, should fit right in. Asslobsters!
Matt -- very earnest, should add some much needed IA work ethic (it won't rub off on Elie though)
Rex - what a tool. I hate his hackneyed sense of humor and trite choice of the "V" icon. He's yet another conformist asshole that insists he's actually "alternative". Prove me wrong...
pics before i deign to make a comment on the men.
These three have permanetly shamed their families and friends
kash is way way cuter than karen
Karen looks hot. Need a fully body shot to confirm.
To 7. Meh, Karen could be hot. But you could never tell with online pics. They're all fluffed up. Kind of like a McDonalds Big Mac ad.
To 7. Meh, Karen could be hot. But you could never tell with online pics. They're all fluffed up. Kind of like a McDonalds Big Mac ad.
Meh, Karen could be hot. But you could never tell with online pics. They're all fluffed up. Kind of like a McDonalds Big Mac ad.
Meh, Karen could be hot. But you could never tell with online pics. They're all fluffed up. Kind of like a McDonalds Big Mac ad.
love them
More pics of Karen please
Karen, you are to be commended on having the balls to show your face, unlike your two "colleagues".
These may not be real people, although someone did find Karen on Google Search.
Best of luck to all of you.
Karen looks hot. Need a fully body shot to confirm.
Karen majored in Ancient Greek History. Balloon knot time?
Seems like Karen could make more money working in a profession that pays by the hour
Karen looks hot. Need a fully body shot to confirm.
Karen looks hot. Need a fully body shot to confirm.
Karen looks hot. Need a fully body shot to confirm.
These people have no idea what they are in for. They probably don't even know about the asslobster yet, or how Mystal actually eats his own weight in sandwiches.
4, 7
if its this guy, better be nicer.
http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=Alex_Rex
you should call them summer associates. interns are SO 1998
Did Rex mean New York Law School? Common mistake.
What is Matt's picture of? Is that Disney Baghdad?
Not a good showing: Alex's resume is missing a period at the end. Great job already at the editing.
Looks like Karen could use a little vitamin D.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/matthew-schwieger
I hate nature, Walmart, and Alex Rex.
Fail.
I'll open Karen so she doesn't have to wait any more.
Welcome aboard, interns! Prepare yourself for anonymous internet abuse by some of the real losers who comment here. Oh, my mistake, I see the abuse has already begun. Well, welcome anyway!
Kash, I still love you and worry about you being eaten by Mystal.
I'm pretty sure I went to high school with Karen... yes, just looked her up on Facebook and our mutual friends confirm it.
36 = Karen
Ugh, the Rex guy sounds awful. 20 billables says he wears emo-glasses and thinks My Chemical Romance are "obvi sell-outs". The other 2, meh. Why not?
Oh, and 17=Elie
37 = Pedderass
Oh Karen - only because you said you were looking forward to abuse from the commenters:
I would Hero your dotus.
I would Thucy your dides.
I would Xeno your phon.
I would Plut your arch.
I would Livy your Pliny all night long.
I would show you my Loeb's.
I would make your totle Aris
I would Ptol all over your emy.
-A fellow unemployed attorney who has spent way too much time reading Greek and Latin History instead of networking (whatever the hell that is).
37: She did not give you the time of day there either.
So nobody has mentioned yet that ATL picked 3 interns and not a single one of them is an attorney, and two of them aren't even LAW STUDENTS yet?!?!?!
/facepalm
Proving, once and for all, that ATL sucks because 99% of the traffic, and 100% of the trolls, are children, half of whom probably haven't even graduated from high school yet.
"Rex enjoys making friends"
... out of sticks and clumps of dirt.
Way to make the blog suck even more.
45 = it got teabagged
42: Considering that I'm female, I didn't ask her to give me the time of day. Good game, though.
-- 37
Rex wants to be Ivanhoed by Mystal and in return, will leave a lovely pearl necklace on the MOOBS.
http://www.facebook.com/alex.mccord
Seems about right.
Didn't the whole "Building a Better Legal Profession's Guide to Law Firm" shtick collapse as people realized that you couldn't just arbitrary make random demands about your lifestyle-driven needs for a $160K/year salary, especially as people were losing their jobs in this economy? Why is this linked on ATL?
Karen: You forgot to wish me happy fathers day. I forgive you but don't expect any child support
Karen was in my section at ULCA - she's fairly attractive as far as legal ladies go and certainly intelligent. BUT LAY OFF THE CIGS KAREN! Don't you know smoking kills?
52: She did not give you the time of day there either.
Matt - even though I'm from Waverly, IA, I think you have no place working at ATL. Leave now.
"Moderating comments, editing copy, and conducting research projects."
editing copy?
Seriously?
44 - OK, I usually snark on comments, but that made me laugh.
44 lol
I have it on very good authority that Rex is racist and has participated in at least 3 public lynchings.
NYU? LOL!
Alex Rex likes to constanly refer to himself in the third-person, a sure sign of douchebaggery.
Henceforth, Alex must be referred to at all times as "Alex Rex, Douchebag Emeritus".
Well shit. Didn't take long for Matt to get outed! Also, commenter hates Alex Rex. Commenter does not think that Alex Rex writing in the third person is amusing, nor does commenter think that Alex Rex is funny. Commenter already is annoyed by Rex.
Karen = Definately going to like her. Look forward to her taking over Elie's job.
Matt = Too long, didn't read.
Alex Rex = I'm upset about this already. This is definately Nervous1L operating under a new persona. I hated that kid then, I'll hate him now.
All 3 interns need to be put to work immediately removing all "First!" posts.
This needs to be done with the same degree rigour that Principal Joe Clarke used to take down graffiti at Eastside Highschool in Paterson, NJ, in the timeless classic "Lean on Me."
The intellectual credibility of our profession is at stake.
Is she clean?
52-Is she clean?
I think the conensus is that we need some more pics of Karen, please.
To all new interns, your first order of business should be to bleach your anuses in a gesture of good will towards the commenters.
Cigarettes? Damn it girl, that's a minus three right off the bat.
Matt seems okay, if a little uncynical (that will change soon).
Rex I give a 6% chance of making it through the summer.
56: +1
Off topic - Is a 41-yr-old handsome attorney man too old for a hot 25-yr-old woman? Please advise.
what a bunch of clowns
hope they can prove their worth
I only have one thing to say:
Rex, I hate you. I will always hate you. I have hated you before I even knew I hated you.
Best,
Hatesy
I don't get it: Was Karen no-offered by this V-20 firm or what? Why's she wasting her bar prep summer at ATL? Need more info on this. Also, full-body shots.
Elie,
Could we get a similar post on the 77 who did not make it?
Thanks
WHY is there no story about Skadden's "TBD" salary infos?
Karen: You will now be subjected, like Kash, to approximately 50 posts per day about your looks and how various commenters would like to date you. This may be nice in some ways, but will also likely be sketchy/discomforting/a little odd in others. And, these comments will all overlook the fact that you appear to be the most qualified of the 3 interns to be an actual permanent ATL contributor (pithy first post + some understanding of what ATL is about + an understanding of the legal profession + a law degree + a good sense of humor).
In any event, welcome!
~ATL reader who hopes Karen knows what she is getting into
Native of Waverly, IA: You come from a lovely hamlet. Please expand on your condescension.
Rexy sounds like something that would come out of a SMU.
#76 - Racist lesbian
44- comment of the day -- so far
Did Elie have a say in the hiring of interns? If so, how did AA play in to that?
I'm actually being serious, I would find the answer terribly interesting regardless of what it is.
moar bareback
I like Karen. She has a great sense of humor and doesn't seem to take things too seriously. Also, she knows what ATL is all about.
The other two dudes, on the other hand, are probably hideous trolls. Show your faces, trolls!
41 - first in a long series of pathetic passive aggressive attempts to "virt-flirt" with Karen.
Thumbs up to Karen. Very hot and obviously smart. The best combination!
41 = serial killer in the making
Wither wither?
So it seems that Alex Rex likes to refer to Alex Rex in third person.
Its ok Alex Rex. I don't mind.
Typo in Matt's bio. He'll fit right in.
http://karensosa.blogspot.com/
Karen, you are a winner. You have balls to use your real name and face. And you can work here (my firm) if you want after the bar.
Matt, you're not hateful but the HuffPo thing is a turnoff, and the BBLP thing shows you're hopelessly idealistic.
A.R., you pretty much suck. And not the good kind of suck.
Matt:
Hyderabad? I don't get it. Outsourcing?
http://www.hispanicheritage.org/youth_det.php?aw=0&id=6
Alex=idiot with baselessly inflated ego. I hate you too. Must've been very slim pickings for intern candidates.
(Note to Alex: People who are truly qualified to take over the world do NOT have to apply for and accept lowly internships on weblogs.
Are the boys cute?
Mystal: Dean Benhabib, you wanting to talk to me?
Dean Benhabib: I’ve been reviewing Alex’s internship journal. Doing laundry…
Mystal: …Yeah.
Dean Benhabib: …Mending chicken wire, hi-tea with a Mr. Lat
Mystal: I know it sounds pretty glamorous, but it’s business as usual at Above the Law.
Dean Benhabib: As far as I can tell your entire enterprise is more than a solitary man with a messy apartment which may or may not contain a chicken.
Mystal: And with Alex’s help, we’ll get that chicken.
Dean Benhabib: I’m sorry, but we can’t allow Alex to continue working with you.
Mystal: Well, I have to say this seems capricious and arbitrary.
Dean Benhabib: You fly is open.
Of the three, Karen is only one who seems down to earth and likable. Matt comes off like an left-wing ideologue (thank you very much, but one Elie is enough), and Alex just seems odd / pretentious.
As per #92, Matt's avatar is the Indian monument Charminar. Maybe he just thought it was pretty.
98 - Thanks Matt for the clarification.
Elie,
After seeing her blog and bio, you have may have made a classic error that NO Biglaw partner would ever make -- hiring an intern who is better at what you do than you are -- and provideing the client with access!! If only we could get the ATL comment engine installed on blogspot . . . . . .
I like all three. Good luck, dudes!
- all three's mothers.
Matt - Why did you give us a link to Amazon's Canadian site? Do you think this blog (which focuses on, you know, the legal profession in the United States) has a lot of Canadian readers or are you just another incompetent liberal?
Does anyone know what the current greenback to loony exchange rate is?
What the heck does "TTT" mean?
Don't savage me (unless you must); I'm new to the blog.
103 - Terrible Terry Tate, Office Linebacker
#103 - Thats it, I gunna woop yo ass, fool. You are TTT.
Fuck yo couch, Rexy, fuck you couch!
Kashmir's right hand woman
Attractive
Recent law school graduate
Educated at the finest institutions
New Intern @ ATL
Karen I love you...Can I come to the beach and run Barbri flash cards with you?
you chose 2 nonlaw people, you might have picked TTTs Ellie, going to be great when you see that they were below median at Pace and Texas Wellesylan and their suppose to give us tips on V100...
FIRST!
105:
Thanks for the love. 104 does it better, though.
- 103
Got jumped the shark?
These people are not credentialed.
Moreover everyone knows that while cal sucks fucla swallows. And yes, I did turn down that proletariat-
crosstown, rival law school.
These 3 have more in common with the support staff than that jealous mistress known as law.
An arrant outrage.
Any minorities? More outrage.
You should have had a vote--but a nice way to dumb it down!
@70 = the rule is half your age plus 7. so you are good to go.
I thought the rule was no later than 21 years after some life in being...
first
Karen wins just for being hot, notwithstanding her TTT pedigree.
"I currently live in Los Angeles, where I can often be found at the beach, bar review books beside me, just waiting to be opened. "
Was the sentence constructed this way on purpose? If yes, she is really funny. If not, probably not the best copy editor you'll find
got a little bone
@111 - Karen is hispanic.
Stop failing at life.
Go to http://karensosa.blogspot.com/, click on the law school category, and check out the Mar. 10 entry.
Elie held a special job fair for minority applicants, then told the white applicants to just ask their friends for jobs.
WHAT IS IOWA?
@108- very well put. You are so v100.
Why did Karen decide to just throw away her J.D. like this? This post is borderline sad.
Contributing to the sadness I feel is the reality that ATL actually needs interns. I mean, really? You guys really need interns to help you spend 5 afternoons a week pulling together various stories from real news sources, playing phone tag to confirm rumors, and then writing it all up in less than 2, 000 words a day for the posts? How could this be? This fascinates me.
Granted, cleaning up after Ellie's perpetual massacre of English, and no doubt his penchant for being a disgusting fatbody that leaves junk food wrappers strewn about your "office", is probably a full time job (for anybody but Ellie himself, of course), but surely Kash could handle that. Or at least ONE intern. Keep Karen and fire the other two clowns.
In fact, replace Ellie with Karen. Try it for a week, and I bet the readership approves of the change.
Matt absolutely bootlicking / slobbering over Sotomayor:
http://law.lexisnexis.com/webcenters/newattorney/BBLP--/Law-Firm-Adventures-with-Sonia-Sotomayor
Karen representing the Colonials! TJHSST for the win.
@119:
http://www.law.ucla.edu/home/index.asp?page=722
Hotttttt.
Two dudes and a hot chick. Tough decision.
alex is a girl, not a dude
116 - classic wit
111: School spirit - A+ Student understands USC leitmotif of reflexive UCLA-bashing.
Coherence/syntax - D+ Student does not grasp these principles; remedial studies required.
Karen = URM & TTT in looks... has anyone really looked at her blog pics? You BigLaw people need to get out some.
KAREN IS SOOOO HOT!!!!!
By the way everyone, wish me luck on my lasik eye surgery--I'm getting my law school goggles removed!!!!!
I really stay in Los Angeles, I can found the beach, bar review books beside me, someday I will open it.