I'm going to die. I know I will probably pass, but I hate this shit.

So is that a statue of LaTTT or MysTTTal?

If I can't sleep, should I take a sleeping pill tonight?

4 - Yes if you've taken them before. No if not - this is not the time to try something new.

4, no. Jack Daniels is much safer and has less side effects.

Not to sound crass, but I really strongly suggest you receive oral the night before the exam. I am telling you that you will sleep like a baby and forget about the stress. I did it before each of the 3 state bar exams I took, and it worked out. No joke.

7 - No no no! Don't blow your wad the night before a big game.

I WISH everyone luck on the bar, EXCEPT for Western State University College of Law people!!!!!

In a good economy, failing the bar once did not mean the end of your career. In this economy, if you fail the bar, your failure will be the baccio della morte to your aborted legal career. Every year dozens of folks fail to show up to the test center on time because of sleep problems. My advice is if you haven't fallen asleep by 8PM, you might as well stay up the whole night or risk not getting up if you eventually fall asleep around, let's say 2 or 3AM. Go load up on Jolt cola or Spike. And remember, if the NY Bar exam looks Chinese to you, turn in your exam and feel free to stop by Rick's Cabaret from 1-3PM tomorrow. If I am in a good mood, I will give you some sound career advice.

i know nothin, hell i dont even know the elements of withdrawal. pray for me!!!!

4: Yes, take a full bottle with a pint of Jack Daniels. No more pain...

Don't forget, Apple laptops frequently seize up while running that software, even in Windows mode. The good news is, no real tech will touch those pieces of junk and you will be miles from a "Genius Bar"

Bring pen and paper, hippies.

I was just reviewing the list of items we can take in with us so as to faithfully pack my bag tonight - and it seems really limited. Does anyone know if we can bring cigarettes? What about cash/ATM card...?

I'm about to get Lathamed by the New York bar. Oh God

Tomorrow, a bunch of unaccredited law school grads get pwned by the California bar.

Three tips:

1-half dose of nyquil if you cannot sleep, dont mess with the sleeping pills they will kill your morning session

2-eat tons of sugar right before you walk in (skittles, starburst, etc.), scientific fact to help for immediate and temporary rush of brain power, do same before afternoon session.

3-do 3 practice problems in the morning to get your juices flowing.

Corny, but effective. Good luck all.

I hate it when someone says "Good Luck" to two or more people when at least one in the group has to fail. It's patronizing as hell.

PLEASE STOP THIS INSANE PRACTICE.

they were going to, but were interrupted by an urgent message from HQ ordering them to fire more associates.

this led to a bizarre scene on the streets of new york as latham partners walked around cardozo and other area law schools, telling desperate-looking 3Ls that they had been hired. you should have seen their joy and relief, or the way the burdens of uncertainty over healthcare and mortgages and student loan debts lifted off their brows.

then we led them directly into a conference room where they signed their contracts and became latham employees. as they exited to take up positions at their desks, they were shoved back into the conference room and told that their performance had lackluster, and that, as a result, they would be fired.

security then tazed and beat them with truncheons "just in case," and they were hauled out and cast onto 3rd Avenue.

this went on all day; about 3,100 people were fired. latham made it very clear that the number of layoffs "MUST exceed the toll of 9/11."

I love how you advise not to dwell on bar exam horror stories and yet you include the link...

Is anyone else confused by barbri's New York income tax supplement? I've been trying to do problem 42 on taxing LIFO inventory after repossession by a purchase money secured creditor. I just don't get it.

Peanut butter sandwich with honey for lunch.

I just sharted on my laptop and I'm a graduate of Cleveland Junior Technical College School of Law. Should I be worried?

BREAKING: Latham just reserved the Javits center for this Friday...

Rent a funny movie for the night of the 28th and don't study! Right now, you know what you know, cramming tonight into tommorow will only stress you out - you know more than you think. Btw, I rented Naked Gun, died my hair, and feel asleep at 10:00. I passed with flying colors.

21 - go eat a dick. I dont even know what the indellible right to counsel is. Shut up and die. There are people far worse off than you walking into this thing.

26----21 was obviously a mindf%*@. Clearly it worked.

17, speaks the truth. You are wise, 17.

It's only the most important test of your life. If you pass, then the world is at your feet. If you fail, then you might as well stick a pole up your ass, because you are finished, really finished. Keep a very close check on the time, because you need to finish every question, and you must leave time for every question. Don't worry about having to piss or crap, just do it in your pants. The smell alone will keep you awake until the end. Always keep in mind that the various state bars have increased the flunk rate in order to protect practicing attorneys, who don't need any more competition for laid off or deferred attorneys. It's your life. Take charge and stay focused, because the end is closer than you think.

29 is an amateur. Wear a diaper to the exam if you wanna pass. If you do it in your pants without one you'll get escorted out.

I WANNA KNOW: Who painted Elie gold for that picture?

I WANNA KNOW: Who painted Elie gold for that picture?

I WANNA KNOW: Who painted Elie gold for that picture?

"I just want to tell you both good luck, we're all counting on you."

I hope everyone who reads this post fails and or gets assaulted by at least one proctor per session.

snootchy booches

Whats this MPT I keep hearing about?

diploma privilege

21: I hope your thumbs break in a freak accident, rendering you unable to type or write.

If you shit yourself during the exam you are escorted out immediately and they announce why.

I took the Mass exam 3 years ago and this happened to a chick about 10 rows up from me.

Has anyone read the IL rules, they're insane? I am tempted to just show up in a speedo with my ID and pens in my hand. . . .

Just remember that nocturnal discharges are good things during the exam. Every time you see a word beginning with N, think NOCTURNAL DISCHARGE.

Look at this uppity nocturnal discharge breaking into his own house. That's a felony.

law sucks

Nocturnal discharges stole my car once. I was called a racist when I filled out my police report.

I haven't had this much fun since John McCain's last interrogation...

I am still trying to figure out why I thought taking the NY bar would be a good idea. From FL, went to school in VA, looking for work in DC... sure, NY is the natural choice! haha

Just remember...if you fail, only every member of your family will be disappointed. You were an ass for two months and still failed

there is no bar exam there is no bar exam there is no bar exam there is no bar exam there is no bar exam there is no bar exam there is no bar exam there is no bar exam there is no bar exam there is no bar exam there is no bar exam there is no bar exam there is no bar exam there is no bar exam there is no bar exam there is no bar exam there is no bar exam there is no bar exam

Good luck everyone! Remember, the pass rate is 91% for ABA-accredited-law school graduates taking for the first time in June.

And if you went to HLS/CLS/NYU, the pass rate for your school 97%+ in NY, so don't sweat it!

in illinois: you may weigh a burlap sack. you may brings. they must be blue or black. if they are different colors, YOU FAIL. if they are in your pocket and not on your desk, YOU FAIL. if you have a cell phone within a 5 mile radius of your testing center, YOU FAIL. if you have a digital watch, clock, alarm, pda, or any other digital device, YOU FAIL. if you leave the room to use the restroom, YOU FAIL. you should've shit in your pants.

Bar exam is easy. You are all just too stupid. Just wait until you get into the exam, ready to do your thing, and you sit and wait for 1hr, 1hr 15mins, until everyone gets seated and the proctors figure out how to speak English.

There's a test tomorrow????

Just rub one out to Jillian and think about giving it to her like Ed never could and call it a night.

I remember hearing a kid throw up during the MBE - heard the splat, the fast walk to the restroom, everything.

My suggestion: masturbate right before the exam and during the lunch break. I had this hot slut sitting next to me in a tight top. Couldn't concentrate and I thought the proctors would think I was cheating when I was just trying to see her tappers. Rubbed one out during lunch. Felt better for the afternoon. Better to be prepared in the off chance it happens to you.

When I took the bar back in '98, I finished the essay portion with about 25 minutes to spare. Most of the people sitting around me were still scribbling furiously. The wandering proctors were nowhere to be seen. Not sure what came over me, but just for giggles, I covered my mouth with my hand and barked, "TIME!" loud enough for most of the surrounding tables to hear. It was a dick move, but the looks on some of those kids' faces was priceless.

49 - I totally forgot about that aspect of the bar. How annoying. I remember being pissed that people can be over 30 minutes late for the bar exam and the world will wait.

Yeah, the hour and forty-five minute wait between when they tell you to get there and when the exam actually starts is excrutiating. Kills every bit of the coffee buzz!

I actually requested not to be put in section with any chicks from Boston for fear that they would shit all over me and more than likely distract me from my given task.

I just pussy farted in the horror of tomorrow's test and now it smells bad :(

I still don't get the difference between restitution, expectation interest and reliance issues and which remedy is appropriate in which circumstance. Which is promissory estoppel and which is statutory estoppel? GOOD LORD I HATE THE BAR EXAM!!

I took the NY Bar last july. Got a 173 on the multistate. I rock.

Suffolk Law Grads- what's the point? paralegal work doesnt require a pass.

61- that's true of BU and BC grads also.

80 percent of people pass the bar. ask yourself this. When is the last time you scored in the bottom 20% of anything.

Don't sweat it. You know how everyone says there are too many lawyers? That's because the bar exam is a low hurdle.

Remember, there are tons of attorneys who are transfering jurisdictions, and they haven't studied at all. If you took BarBri, you are going to be just fine. Breathe in...breathe out....breath in... breath out.

58 - what's a pussy fart?

I just SHARTED and PUSSY FARTED at the same time.
-CWT '05 NY Female Associate

65 -

Are you in Boston?

What helped me was that I stayed in a hotel with a nice swimming pool -- I stayed there 3 nights, and on all three evenings, just doing laps in the pool was a great way to get rid of the tension and get me in the right mood...

Also paid an extra 10/night for a larger room, which was spacious and not cramped, so that also improved my psyche, and helped me pass.

just remember...that little piece of law you neglected to re-study in final weeks just may show up.

One of my six major essays was solely on class-certification in a potential class action securities case. The applicant to my left and right both froze solid on that question. How do I know it was that single question? It was the first question presented after the lunch break.

it will show up, so your bullshit stick better be strong.

Serenity now.

Insanity later.

67, you should have gotten a hooker and and a rock of crack.

YOU ARE ALL GOING TO FAIL AND THEN GET HERPES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello, I love you
Mister bar examiner
Not really please die!!!!!!!!

I started studying yesterday, fuck I underestimated this test.

I really comment - other than to say "FIRST" or "FIRSTY" or "I'M FIRSTY" or something like that, but I must say reading the posts from people who are about to take the bar brings back fond memories of my own experience. Thank you for that. BTW, if you read this you will FAIL!

Think of it this way: there are no jobs out there anyway, so it really doesn't matter if you pass or fail.

unemployed T25 '07

I CAN'T SLEEP!!!! I am going to NUTS! What's the best thing to do? Should i put on a pot of coffee now and power through with an all nighter?

75 = EPIC FAIL.

77, try your best to get at least a little sleep. I got about 3 hours before the exam. Doesn't seem like a lot, but by day 2, I was glad I had some the first night. Just relax, close your eyes, try to get something. You'll do fine.

For those taking NY or PA and finishing up with Jersey: Don't worry Jersey's a god damn joke of an exam.

do questions in your head if you can't sleep

78 = racist TTTerd

The only hope you have is to accept the fact that you're already dead. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you'll be able to function as a law student is supposed to function; without mercy, without compassion, without remorse. The bar exam depends on it.

Hey all yous law skoolahs:

Dere's really only two things yous guys need to remembah about da bawhr -

ceweal chweets and mawdeling chawcolate

Good Luck yous guys - Luv, Da Cake Baws

All work and no play makes jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes jack a dull boy. All work and no play makes jack a dull boy.

Did Harvard's Henry Louis Gates have an opinion on the Duke Lacrosse controversy?

Remember that a 90% pass rate doesn't mean that you have a 90% chance of passing. It means that you may be the 1 in 10 who do not pass the exam.

My laptop started working 5 minutes before the exam started. I WAS FREAKING OUT!!!!

I passed the stupid test, but I wanted to DIE!

Only Black humans pass the bar.

Why didn't anyone buy sleeping pills?
Idiots!

I hope you're not sitting in the front with all the proctors.
They didn't STFU the whole time I took the exam.

Can do one better 87 - - my exam software NEVER started for the morning session, had to handwrite the morning section after months of preparing and never having handwritten an answer before, computer guy had it up and running for the afternoon section, and yes I PASSED - - lesson here: once you're "in the zone" don't let ANYTHING stop you - - you've studied, you know this shit, now just DO IT ! ! !

As soon as you start panicking you have already failed....

Elie Mystal

90-You Win!

I remember the computer guy telling me to relax.
RELAX!
The guy next to me telling me I could write my essays.
Write? What's that???

Don't worry just fill in several ovals for each question. When they try to say you are wrong, just tell them it was your INTENT to answer correctly!

That was a good argument by my party during the 2000 elections and for the 2008 Senate election in Minnesota, I don't see why it won't work here.

Yes we can!

When I showed the Bar Examiners my United Negro College Fund id card they sent me to a room where I just chilled out for 6 hours; never looked at a test.

94-I rolled my eyes! You're a moron.
Yawn...

Anybody else still up? I can't sleep, I'm panicking...

Just picked up a box of depends, and now I'm ready. Sorry in advance to the people sitting next to me

I'm watching "Raising the Bar" and the only thing I have left to say is that all of you BigLaw people are meanies! Mean, mean, mean meanies!!!! I hate you all!!!

I just made my NY Bar Bri books into a make shift vagina and I am pounding the hell out of them just like I will the bar exam.

Suck it.

22 = fat, overweight black chic that pretends to diet but somehow remains fat and sweaty.

96-PLEASE TAKE A SLEEPING PILL!
You're going to be so tired!

You people are pathetic. If you did exactly what Bar Bri told you, you should have no problems. Seriously. I was way over-prepared for the NY Bar exam.

DOJ SECURE

I STILL CAN'T SLEEP!!!!!!! I'M GOING TO FAIL AFTER ALL THIS STUDYING!!!! MOMMY!!!!

77

Sleep is for pussies.

Evan Chesler

84, Good, I want you to like it here. I want to stay here forever, and ever, and ever.

Relax. You're ready. You'll do fine. I graduated from a T4 school in California, BARELY in top 30%. No real hopes of passing.

Passed the 1st time.

If I can, you can too.

Now get some sleep.

I haven't slept well in a week. One more night isn't going to kill me.

Hoochie mama.

For any fellow insomniacs checking in who didnt risk sleeping pills - if it makes you feel any better i took the test last year and couldnt pass out until about 6-630 night before the first day, got about an hour sleep. took the essay test like a zombie, and ended up scribbling half a paragraph for the MPT. Passed.

Stressing about sleep wont help, so just relax and think about something else. Oh and if your a dude yeah definitely rub one out thats good advice.

My V10 firm is going to ask for bar exam scores for incoming first years once they're out in November. Never done it before, not sure why this time, but the hiring committee met today and that's the outcome.

Good luck all.

Trying to think only of reassuring thoughts -- and this little gem from Pulp Fiction came to mind:

JULES
I don't wanna hear about no
motherfuckin' "ifs." What I wanna
hear from your ass is: "you ain't
got no problems, Jules. I'm on the
motherfucker. Go back in there,
chill them n-----s out and wait for
the cavalry, which should be comin'
directly."

MARSELLUS
You ain't got no problems, Jules.
I'm on the motherfucker. Go back
in there, chill them n-----s out
and wait for The Wolf, who should
be comin' directly.

JULES
You sendin' The Wolf?

MARSELLUS
Feel better?

JULES
Shit Negro, that's all you had to
say.

109 - Probably because of this:

http://www.jdjournal.com/2009/02/05/weil-gotshal-associate-never-graduated-never-passed-bar/

109 - The reason is because just passing the bar on the first try is not going to be enough to save your sorry ass. You and your newbie peers are all a bunch of unknowns. Your bar scores are just as good of an arbitrary measure of future success as any other. Welcome to Thunderdome.

took that CA bar last year. Finished each section in about 1 hour, sat around for the other 2. Went to lunch by the beach in San Diego, ate lobster like a king, didnt listen to all the people whinning, took it easy. the test was super easy, its just a mental game they play trying to stress everyone out. It was actually like a mini vacation kicking back in such a beautiful city.

took that CA bar last year. Finished each section in about 1 hour, sat around for the other 2. Went to lunch by the beach in San Diego, ate lobster like a king, didnt listen to all the people whinning, took it easy. the test was super easy, its just a mental game they play trying to stress everyone out. It was actually like a mini vacation kicking back in such a beautiful city.

65 - Whoa. Can't believe I missed it before, but you've achieved that rarest of female bodily functions, the SHAQUEEF!

is rick's cabaret a gay bar?

Is it a bad sign that I cannot sleep and I've had about a quart of burbon tonight? I'm not sleepy, but PE really starts to make sense by now...

what is the MPT?

I didn't sleep before the first night, either...crashed from exhaustion the second night. Look at Commercial Paper b/f you go into the exam....Barbri consistently spouts that there's a 5%-10% chance it'll show up..."don't waste too much time on it"...first essay on my exam? Fucking commercial paper....

Just take a peek and good luck!!

I'm starting to feel a little slee/py. Should I fall asleep for 45 minutes or go for a run? I just don't know what I'd do without the guidance of this blog.

no silver lining in sight- after the bar exam, ready yourselves for months of sitting at home, collecting rejection letters, and practicing your "oh woe is me speach"- find politicians to blame, and rationalize your situation by saying it's not your fault, you just had the misfortune of graduating during "troubled times." Celebrate your misfortune with similarly-situated individuals- misery loves company-

Then leave the profession- we don't need any more lawyers, especially ones with no experience, an undeserved sense of entitlement, and a bullshit work ethic.

California Test Takers - On the essays, just make sure to plan enough time to finish them all. Time flies by and it's easy to get stuck on one essay and not have time to finish the last. If you just finish everything (relatively) calmly, you should do fine.

On the performance exams, read the cases first. Don't waste time on the facts, which you can speed through.

Doom, defeat and despair!

Just remember to SHART and FART and you'll be all right!

The Bar Exam is really quite easy. As someone said, the pass rate for the New York bar hovers around 91% for ABA-accredited-law school graduates taking for the first time. Take comfort in that. Most of you will be fine.

Good Luck PE on the bar

If I am in the botton 50% at Suffolk law- what are my chances at biglaw?

2009 (in)secure.

Please don't use comic sans. ever.

I've taken the Bar exam twice, once in two different states. Each time I always broke the tension I was feeling during the breaks in the essay parts by striking up a conversation with people and casually mentioning some obscure legal theory that I saw in one of the fact patterns. It always freaked people out and gave me a chuckle, which helped me relax.

This comment is addressed to post no. 126.

Thank you for your belated wishes of bona fortuna. Unfortunately, you are over 40 years late.

is it too late to arrive to the exam? i slept in.

Don't worry about sleep. When I took the Bar I had not slept for 4 days, I almost crashed my car on the drive down, and I was babbeling incoherently to anyone who would listen. I still passed.

JT will call you Johnny five-times.

PE: I guarantee you shake in your boots next year when you have to take the Bar (for real). I love to see people who show outward bravada pee in their pants when they are actually put under pressure.

The very little humor that the PE avatar provided was all lost when you were exposed as a lowly law student.

PE, make sure you pay attention in BarBri next year (oh yeah, because you don't have a summer job you don't have an employer that will pay your bar course fees).

This comment is addressed to post no. 135.

Everyday you cretins assign a different label for me. Last month, I was a lowly clerk, last week I was a lowly associate, yesterday I was a screwed JD grad about to take the bar exam. Now I am back to being a lowly law student. I hope you don't spend your limited legal career taking reckless shots in the dark. As long as you are far off the mark, my identity is preserved. And another thing, when I took the bar exam in 1967, it was a cakewalk. If you think the bar exam is pressure, you have yet to experience real world pressure. I almost feel pity for you.

Wait, some of you have employers who pay for Barbri?

PE: You are a rising 3L. Nice try though. Futher, nobody but a law student would have the time nor the inclination to post on this blog. I pity those people who think a senior partner, or retired attorney, would spend as much time as you on this blog. Just reserve comment on the Bar until you have taken (and passed) one.

Honestly, PE. Give it up. You're a pathetic TTTool.

Moobs.

138 - your employer isn't paying for BarBri?