first!

First to say ATL is desperate for comments since 90% of readers are in a bar-exam isolation chamber for the next few days...

first!

I have never heard of this meme before. What the hell are you talking about?

That must be a very crusty crustacean.

Ass lobster.

looks like those photos were taken with a first generation startac flip phone.

A slobster says what?

LOBSTERS RISE

ASSES FALL

KASH REMAINS

David & Kash, you're both extremely classy. You always manage to make good things out of the junk we commenters throw out. I love reading your site.

10 = Kash and/or Lat.

Who's the asslobster in blue next to Kashlobster?

I once looked up Ass Lobster on Urban Dictionary and connected with it was the term MysTTTal which stood for a blog that was going to the crapper once a new editor took over. The word has since been taken off. I just thought it was funny that the commenters were that extreme/loserish.

Lat, my home IP address was banned a few months ago for criticizing Elie about how sloppy his posting was, and commenting in one late night thread about how he posted a comment to the effect of "hey guys, don't ruin this for me" and then five minutes later he deleted his own said comment, which all but conceded his poor performance. I did not write anything profane, vulgar, racist or otherwise offensive, just a legit critique of his writing, which also pointed out his "phantom" posting and pleas for mercy from ATL commenters. And then he banned me.

Just sayin.'

Did you and Lat have champagne. the pictured lobster, and anal sex at the picnic? Is the combination overrated as well?

I've never said anything about lobsters, but your site won't let me upload an humorous image of myself. Please advise.

Boobs. Boobs. Boobs. Boobs. Boobs. BOOOOBS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK got that out of my sytem

14 - Dropped your passifier, did you?

Oh Lat, must you show off such beautiful, unattainable, actually not even heterosexual WGWAG?

I gather from the link that Kash would prefer a new meme: Assquid

You're welcome.

The editors of this site sure love to tease young lawyers and would be attorneys about to take the bar exam. The picture of the lovely Ms. Hill and a picture of a 4lb. lobster represent things that most of you insufferable sloths will never taste in your lifetime. I will be enjoying surf and turf at Rick's Cabaret while most of you race against the clock to finish your essays and multistate questions during the next few days. Every year, dozens of candidates miss taking the test because they oversleep or sleep too late and will not awaken when the alarm rings. My tip is to stay awake the night before, drink plenty of jolt cola or Spike and stay up or better yet, take a sleeping bag and park yourself right outside the Javits Center. Let the insomnia begin...

No, 10 = Elie

14 - Email the editors if you've been banned and they might reinstate you. (I did, after promising to be good in the future.)

PE - An asslobster would have been able to make a more interesting and thoughtful post than your last. You have a reputation to keep up, how about you use some thought for the next post?

Elie's Words from TrueSlant:

There were three people from my high school that got into Harvard. One (white girl) had excellent grades and scores and was one of the best athletes in our school. Another (white guy) had excellent grades and scores and was an amazing pianist. I was the third one. I had excellent grades and scores and had the “I’m involved in 15 different clubs and organizations because I have no life,” douchebag resume. Did being black help my application?

I don’t know and I don’t particularly care. Because what I do know is that I didn’t “take” a spot that should have gone to a “more deserving white man.” Harvard, like most institutions, starts with a list of what it deems to be “qualified” candidates and then has to pare that list down. Anybody who has ever hired somebody for a job knows that you generally deal with a number of people that could complete the assigned task, from there you have to make a decision based on arbitrary factors and nonobjective criteria like “fit” or “feel.”

12 - I think that that's Lat.

A picnic by the water, with the beautiful Kash and a giant lobster - wasted on a gay guy!

Kash is a great sport to put up with the ATL commenters. Good for ATL/Lat/Elie for sticking up for her and deleting the gross posts in other entries. (One plea: can you just write "comment removed by moderator" instead of just deleting? The latter throws the numbering/comment scheme off making references to earlier comments non-sensical.)

And wherever it is that you took these photos is gorgeous!

21 = PE

Can we now please turn these comments into more serious matters?

For example, is Kash really hot? Can someone please comment?

And by the way, what kind of name is "Kash" anyway? Is that Vegas hooker or Afghani intellectual?

29 - Kash IS really hot. I met her in person at an ATL event. ;-)

Does anyone actually know the history of the ass lobster? How did it get started? How did this lobster get into said ass? I thought Kash was Asian? All my pre-conceived notions are being thrown out the door....

PE = Pathetic wannabe Manhattanite law student. Who the fuck would frequent the same place over and over? Loser. Oh yeah, your shtick doesn't work because you're a terrible writer and your references are inconsistent b/w an older and younger generation.

What's with Kash's 1950s housewife hair? she's still doable, though.

And why moderate the ass lobster comments? That's just stupid.

Okay, that covers the ass lobster comments. Can you do a post inviting comments about Santorum?

Can someone tell me again why asslobster comments get banned and why, in the absence of identity disclosure, comments are moderated?

Thio = ass lobster Queen

31 - This explains the origins of the "ass lobster" meme:

http://trueslant.com/KashmirHill/2009/07/02/ass-lobster-in-urban-dictionary/

I wish every post was about asslobsters. To remove comments about said crustacean does a disservice to this highly reputable site.

This comment is addressed to post no. 32.

I think it is even more pathetic to lash out against someone who you perceive to be a lowly law student. You need to seek some help as you have demonstrated to be a self-loathing misanthrope who is angry at himself and the world. If you adjust your attitude and have the right pedigree of academic credentials, my firm may hire you as a parelegal, that is if you were on law review or made order of the coif.

rock lobster! down... down... down...

PE is an ass lobster of an actual lawyer.

Kash, you have big guns. The muscle shirt was a good choice.

Lat, thanks for not popping the collar.

PE,

It's not "at myself" it's with myself dumbass.

-32

ASSSSSSSSSSSSS LOBSTERRRRRRRRRRRRRR

MYSTTTAL FAT INCOMPETENT FUCK

Wait a minuted...Kash is a woman and Elie is the man? I guess that explains the "moobs" joke.
Who is the Asian guy? Why would Kash get her picture taken with the sushi chef?

I'm not usually one to judge (full of shit cliche), but why would anyone want to eat lobster out of an ass? I mean just the act of using the cracker and creating all the splinters in a rectum... can't we just switch to ass sausage?

Kash is not hot. Maybe law-hot, maybe cute, but by no means hot.

Never mind the ass lobster--take a look at those sweater puppies!

Well now it's just forced.

I feel sorry for the asslobster. Kash gets all of the attention. What about good old pinchy?

kash is GORGEOUS.

This post is kind of a sad attempt that screams "talk about me, talk about me! Actually, I hate it when you talk about me (BS) - Talk about me!"

If you want to moderate certain comments or explain memes or what not, create an FAQ for those who give a shit, and leave the blog's guts to germane content.

52 - This is a little throwaway post mixed in with lots of more substantive content.

If you don't like it, don't read it. But don't rain on our parade. I find it hilarious.

ASSSSLOBSTER!

Now I feel better.

53=Roxana

This comment is addressed to post no. 43.

Go back to studying for the bar or carry on your existence as a useless human paper weight. I stand by my statement as the person I originally addressed is more akin to a subhuman object that a human being.

I'm a big fan of Kash. Her writing is solid, she seems like a nice woman.

That said, I think that haircut is a clear sign she has some self-hating issues. Honestly, please, someone, name a beautiful celebrity with that haircut? I think it's one of those hipsterish ways to "reject conventional beauty norms" or whatever, but in doing so, it just looks unattractive to 90% of the population.

Kash, do yourself a favor and get a normal haircut. You look bad.

No ass lobster comment. I have to say I find Kash hot and humorous. I'd love to ask her out...anyone know if Kash is single and if she'd accept my friend request on facebook?

57 = Elie

Those photos are about as flattering as a colonoscopy.

Come on, Kash, we know you're really a looker.

58=Kash

57, you are an a-hole. Post your pic, coward.

Anywho, this weekend was super hot and humid in the NE. Ever hear of a bad hair day? It was so hot that the ass lobster was raw when this photoshoot began.

Which one is Kash?

Good for you for having a sense of humor. Well done, ATL.

God, she is U G L Y. And the anus eyes don't help things. Uggh. The picture on true slant is false advertising.

63 - hilarious.

Hey Lat,

My work IP address was banned awhile back for criticizing something. But my work IP address comes from a firm that bought ads from you guys.

Kash has chinese eyes.

The claws on that lobster are disgustingly disfigured. They look like papier mache.

Kash has chinese eyes.

The claws on that lobster are disgustingly disfigured. They look like papier mache.

I understand that you want us to note corrections in the comment -- so here's one -- the pictures do not technically show Kash's ass. Please post a correction with a picture from the proper angle.

65, how dare you speak of lat is such a manner.

66 = 63

Every time I hear the phrase "ass lobster," I am reminded of this wonderfully disgusting urban legend:

http://www.snopes.com/risque/juvenile/lobster.asp

Ass lobster is less tasty than vaginal grouper. Why? For the halibut...

ATL: you really take the time to cut vulgar posts and ban ip addresses? how do you decide what is too far? i'd always appreciated the wild west nature of the comments -- now i wonder what i've been missing.

The four most overrated things in life are champagne, lobster, anal sex, and picnics.

hahahahaha. you guys rock.

and Kash really is beautiful!

75 - Go to AutoAdmit. To anyone who doesn't like comment moderation, there are places where you can have uninhibited discussion about law firms, law schools, and the legal world.

http://www.autoadmit.com/

True @76, but combine all of them together like Voltron, and you have yourself one hell of a situation.

This post is the most thought provoking thing on ATL in months. I feel privileged to be a part of it.

That looked like a rocking time!
You do look like a young Kathy Sullivan--I fear.

even used the cliche meme multiple times.

a software program could not have produced anything less vapid.

She may be a 4 in LA--but you all know lawyers are dull, ugly and culturally inane and
preternaturally uncool.

Moi--the exception that proves the rule!

troiani sunt magni

1) She's getting fatter.

2) I can't believe Lat hits that, first of all because I thought Lat was gay and second of all because she's getting fatter.

Partner Emeritus: Do you want to buy some Viagra? I also have other presciptions to nurse those wounds you sustained as a young man hunting Mastodons.

62-

You first.

Moreover, unless the NE humidity made her hair appear 50% it's normal length, I fail to see how it could be an overriding factor.

My point was not that the haircut is of poor quality for the style, my point was that, much like mullets and "pixie" haircuts, haircuts like Kash's look categorically bad on almost all people--It isn't Kash's fault that the hair doesn't look good on her, that style looks poor on everyone, that's why beautiful women do not wear it (hence my call for the long list of famous celebrities who wear the style--one you failed to provide).

Anyway, I like Kash and do not mean to insult her--I just find it frustrating when people deface themselves buying into styles that are unpopular for a reason--that reason being that, according to most beauty norms, no one looks good in them.

-57

You guys, I assume guys, who think Kash is beautiful really need to get out of the office and meet some truly attractive women.

You know, I could have lived my whole life without ever knowing the answer to the "ass lobster" thing and been perfectly happy.

I know Kash says she's not the sensitive type however, in spite of the fact that I am a hetrosexual male, I think I'm offended on her behalf.

Seriously? I know the economy sucks but this how mysognistic sexually obsessive schmucks spend their time? Look, is this likely to have any legal ramifications? No, highly unlikely, but do you people have no shame? I mean, I'm not the infamous Bingham Secretary or anything but this is beyond obscene, beyond offensive and beyond absurd. Inside jokes amongst friends are one thing but to discuss a person you don't know and likely never will in a lewd sexual manner just violates basic deceny. It's not like the "men", and I use that term loosely, could possibly have known Kash wouldn't be offended when they began with this craptasticness.

In short, stop sitting at your computer thinking of new and still lower forms of entertainment and grow the F up. I'm guessing you speak in such a manner about women because you have none worthy of note in your own lives, I can't envision a self-respecting one that would give any of the time of day much less allow the pleasure their company.

#86 = Kash

@86 - You sound fun. Wanna hang out this weekend?

Shouldn't it be whats in the best interests of the asslobster?

I got a half-chugger just looking at Kash holding that lobster.

86-

In our contemporary society, people comment on the looks of public figures all the time. Next time you're at the supermarket, take a look at the magazines at checkout. You should start a campaign against the tyrants "US Weekly" and "Weekly" for dairing to analyze those that put themselves in the public eye.

(I admit Kash is barely a "public figure", but she certainly is here).

I mean, Kash did just participate in taking photographs and posting them here in front of (hundreds?) of readers? That does invite comment, doesn't it?

----Lowering himself to Putz's like 86 by taking himself too seriously.

86 - Tell your mom I want meatloaf for dinner. NOW!

"Kashmir Hill" is white?!?!?!

Hmmm, disappointment. I thought Kash was supposedly attractive???

How about a picture of Kash's feet?

Lat is doable when his hair was shaved. When his hair is longer he looks very fresh off the boat and I'm not as attracted.

I pray (and earnestly hope) that this picture was taken at the recent cookout board meeting of ATL where Lat first announced that Elie would be phased out and eliminated in the next 60 days and Kash would be replacing him.

96 - Shirtless pic of Lat:

http://abovethelaw.com/2006/09/nonsequiturs_092806.php

Is Lat a midget, or is Kash just exceptionally tall for a girl?

100th! asslobster.

Kash, you're gorgeous, don't listen to these morons. . . to actually criticize someone anonymously on a thread is a lame, pathetic low.

Second, the asslobster comments. . . it is what it is. You're fame is derived from them. Be happy. Banning them seems quite ridiculous to me, but then again I have no idea what an asslobster is or why anyone would give these pre-adolescent douchebag's comments any time of day.

PS. MEN DONT EVER POP THE COLLAR (or wear pink shorts, or the shorts with the critters on them from j crew, or the too cool rayban sunglasses with the prep school haircut.) IT ALL SCREAMS DOUCHEBAG!!!!!!

98,

I prefer Lat in the second picture that post links to: http://www.quizlaw.com/blog/quizlaws_blawger_hotties_conte.php (the titled head one, not the umbrella one).

While the shirtless picture shows he is lean, there's still something going on with the face and the longer hair. Not crazy about the stubble either.

It could be that most of the pictures from Lat's shorter hair days are when he was mid-20s or something? I guess, like Wurtzel's Elle column, Lat's young, attractive days are over? I mean I guess I wouldn't kick him out of bed still but I'm just much more attracted to the younger Lat pictures.

-96

#99 - Lat is not a midget. He is Oriental, like the rugs.

93; I agree. In order I would have guessed
1) black woman
2) gay white male/tranny
3) black man
4) toothy white woman

96/102 here. I like David's height. Part of his charm.

Lat -- why don't you do a post tomorrow showing pictures where you have longer hair and shorter hair and see which look people like better. I'm just trying to help you get all that gay sex you like and think you'll find people like the shorter hair better. I am 90% certain it is the hair length and not the age factor and now feel bad about my comment in 102. I meant the Wuertzler age comment tongue in cheek but it probably did not come out that way.

Maybe you have a bf and don't need anonymous comments to help. Do you have a bf? I think a decent number of readers would be interested in knowing.

Yes, the lobster was in Kash's ass. I used my meat hook to retrieve it.

Speaking of which - Kash, want to play Mandigo meets the slave owner's daughter again?

Kash's ass lobster is gorgeous. But I thought Kash is a vegetarian. What's she doing dining on lobster?

And if you really wanted to grant amensty, you'd unblock the IP addresses...

Asslobsters are a hell of a crustacean.

Is that Chelsea Clinton holding that lobster?

After reading these posts, I’m comforted in knowing that I’m not the only one who was banned for some stupid reason. I can’t access this site from my work computer because I criticized Elie when he went off on one of his black supremacist rants. Instead of clicking on this site 5-6 times a day, now I browse the articles maybe twice a week in the evening. If ATL doesn’t want me to post, then I won’t give them traffic. Screw’em.

Kash, let's get married. Lat and the lobster can live in our basement. You now have my IP address--let me know

Kashmir Hill has an asslobster and I am permitted to state this fact.

Asslobster

Asslobster

Asslobster

What about all the comments about "pounding [this or that secretary or junior associate or summer associate] in the ass"? Can we get amnesty on those as well? I really enjoyed reading those comments. Thanks.

Lobsterize It!
http://www.apostropher.com/blog/archives/000685.html

Even in a town where costumed folk easily outnumber the Brooks Brothers set, Lobster Man stands out in a crowd. Virtually everyone in Provincetown knows him. And virtually everyone - merchants, the town licensing agent and local police - have an opinion about him. In the case of police, Ceria recently got into some hot water over a marijuana possession charge, which he plans to fight in Orleans District Court at 8:30 a.m. Tuesday - dressed in the lobster get-up.

Marijuana is a substance near and dear to Ceria's heart. A staunch advocate of "out and out legalization of pot," as he put it yesterday, Ceria said he will not only dress like a lobster in court, but he will ask the judge to return the ounce of marijuana police confiscated when they arrested him last month on a warrant. "That was lobster pot. That was medicine, and I want it back," said Ceria, a self-described sculptor, actor and street performer.

Comment removed by moderator.

WGWAG!!!!