First?

Why would someone trying to tell a nonlawyer how much time they actually spend in the office describe their work week in billable hours?

elie, you're such a douchebag. not only is this story not worthy of reporting, but give the guy a break. he sounds nerdy etc, but let's talk about your [lack of a] love life. no? that's what i thought.

and making fun of his "stealth layoff"? where are you working again?

seriously you should resign.

Well, if Gov. Sanford is missing again, at least we know he moved to Boston.

Very touching story. Complete bullshit.

Mystal, you must be so horny after this story. You should let Mr. Suffolk romance the hell out of your moobs.

Dr. Louis Ziccareli Esq LLM CPA

well done, Elie. All jokes aside, I always thought you were incapable of being a complete douche. I now have a much greater respect for you!

Where do I starTTTT?

Quick, someone get me some water. . . I'm Firsty!!!

"Meredith, I don't consider myself clingy (40 hours work week + as a attorney) I am just someone who is looking for the real deal and not just a facade of love. You know?

Signed,

Partner Emeritus"

Where do I starTTTT?

I'm not an Elie-hater, but this post is probably one of your lamest, particularly that injected commentary that's intended to be snarky. Ever heard of a little subtlety in your attempts at humor?

I suppose that I should know the answer to this question, but is Suffolk Law School accredited by the American Bar Association?

Do intellectuals attend Suffolk law?

Is Suffolk Law= to BC Law?

"I am desperately looking for a girl who I can sweep off her feet and live happily ever after."

That is not a sentence. Suffolk Law grads apparently have something against the English language. If this guy ever becomes a politician, I think he should stay the hell away from education policy.

This would never happen to a SMU grad. SMU grads have always been known for their prowess with the opposite sex.

Suffolk Law = TTT

UVA is the Yale of the West.

Comment removed by moderator.

With a Suffolk Law degree, especially in this economy, he may not have a career to speak of, so perhaps he should figure that part out first, before worrying about women.

Suffolk Law is the Bunker Hill Community College of Boston law schools.

As someone who was raised in Chicago, went to law school in Boston, and then fled that emotional/dating wasteland back to Chicago (turning down offers in NY and Boston), I can firmly say that the Suffolk law grad's experiences are not unique. From my experience he nailed the description of the two types of women that you encounter in Boston. I have had experience dating in several cities and I have been married now for almost 5 years, and I can tell you that the women in Boston generally just really don't know how to be. There might be exceptions, but I didn't run into any in 3 years. My best advice - move. Women in other cities still remember how to be romantic and recognize that the relationship must be a two-way street.

Could be worse - he could have gone to Northeastern.

I love how the comments on the Boston Globe site all call the guy a piece of shit. See, this is why I treat women like crap.

24: Yes, and the main two problems you have to worry about in Chicago are the horrible corruption (makes Boston corruption look tame by comparison) and the risk of getting shot just about anywhere in the city (every weekend, there's a news report about another 5-10 murders). Now, why didn't I pick Chicago?!?

Boston chicks have weird accents and usually call everyone Sully even if its not their name. Also, Boston chicks are all Irish, drink a lot, and often stab you without any kind of warning.

"First, treating a girl "like a lady" is a lot easier if you don't condescend to her"

That is not a sentence. Abovethelaw.com editors apparently have something against the English language. If this guy ever gets a real writing gig, I think he should still stay the hell away from a keyboard.

26 - I never believed that would work until I tried it one night. Incredible.

26 - it's amazing how many chicks you can get if you treat them all like crap, and how few chicks you'll get if you're nice and polite to them.

28 - Nailed it.

24, Greater Boston is comprised of about 7.5 million people, according to Wikipedia. There are probably more than two types of women living there. Maybe you were just looking in the wrong places.

So fock U.

If you have to say you aren't clingy, you're clingy.

I'm sorry, am I the only one here who thinks the Suffolk guy is a total douche?

I'm looking for a 3,000 square foot Texas wife.

Is this Kevin Youkilis?

Every chick in Boston stinks of baked beans, farts, and flop sweat.

UVA2L

Tip: If you didn't graduate from at least a half decent law school, probably not worth citing the name of the law school. Had this guy just said "law school" instead of "Suffolk Law," he wouldn't be getting half the ridicule he is now.

Well, this putz makes me proud to be a 3L at Suffolk. Between him, Tom from "Beauty and the Geek", Jim "the worst thing to happen to the legal profession in the last fifty years" Sokolove (and yes, I told him so to his face during a Professional Responsiblity lecture he gave at the school), and this week's bashing of the SULS Law Review during the Sotomayor confirmation hearings we may actually go from tier three to tier five in two short years (they'll make a tier 5 just for us, we kinda suck, a lot).

One point, to be fair, he could work a 40 week and still have a decent job, about 1/3 of Suffolk grads (out of the 20% that actually have a job upon graduation) go straight in to state government so they don't actually have to work at all to collect a paycheck.

23 - so says the guy who attended New England Law or Northeastern. Talk about TTT.

"First, treating a girl "like a lady" is a lot easier if you don't condescend to her; avoid calling her a "feminist type.'"

Um, yeah I doubt he actually says that to them. Those of us who have been on dates, or even just around women, know exactly what the kid means by this.

Is Suffolk Law school an online school? Could be worse, he could have gone to BC

19 - Hear hear! Suffolk is the very definition of a TTT.

Why are so many commenters defending the writer of the letter? He is a complete TOOL.

First to be a NUSL student jealous of Suffolk's low(er) tuition, high placement in state government ,and greater prestige in Boston. Rankings schmankings, law firms like Suffolk more than Northeastern. Plus, Northeastern was closed from 1955 to 1969 or thereabouts, so all the would-be alumni in positions of great power... don't exist.

I echo 29's comment. Fire the editor.

This guy sounds like a major toolbox. Probably why he's still single.

Boston chicks fart a lot?

I have some sincere, straight from the heart advice for the Suffolk Law chap. Based on your letter, I can tell you that most women will use you like a tampon. To women, you will be nothing but a cash cow as long as you shower them with expensive and lavish gifts. Where is your manhood? If you want to have a relationship, develop one with yourself first. Grow a pair and then take a month long trip to Brazil or Dominican Republic. I guarantee when you return you will look at women in a different light. Since you are already spending money on women, ostensibly without otaining sexual favors in return, you might as well go to the Cathouse in Nevada or some other place where prostitiution is legal. You defined yourself as a lawyer. Sorry chap but in Obama's economy that is not enough to land the gal of your dreams.

Elie is now purporting to give out romantic advice? Yeah right. HILARIOUS.

Suffolk = Cooley

* 40 <--- Nope, not an on-line school, actually some brilliant professors (you know you all used the Glannon guides, yeah he was my Civ Pro professor). But certainly not on par with most law schools in Boston.

SMU = UT

I guess should know the answer- but is Suffolk accrediTTTTed?

I had this happen to me once. I wasn't a lawyer, though - I was a young naval flight officer going through boot camp. She worked at the local factory where everyone dreamed of marrying a pilot. We fell in love and I managed to sweep her off her feet to the sounds of an 80's pop ballad, but only after a gruff marine drill instructor taught me what it really meant to be a man.

I pounded a Cardozo chick in the ass once at a moot court competition at Suffolk.

This is the worst article I have ever read. Elie, f you have ever worked more than 40 hours in a week at a legal-gossip website which puts up approximately five articles per day I would be thoroughly shocked. As a double Harvard graduate, I think it's safe to say you've seen your share of guys trying a little bit too hard.

This is the worst article I have ever read. Elie, f you have ever worked more than 40 hours in a week at a legal-gossip website which puts up approximately five articles per day I would be thoroughly shocked. As a double Harvard graduate, I think it's safe to say you've seen your share of guys trying a little bit too hard.

Haha, some of the comments on Boston.com are priceless:

"Maybe if you weren't so full of yourself women might be more attracted to you (note I used the word WOMEN) and in this town I wouldn't brag too loudly about being a graduate of Suffolk."

"I don't think going to Suffolk Law is something to brag about, or even mention during your dates. It's not even in the top 50 best law schools in the U.S.. It makes you come off as arrogant and confused. Know your rankings before trying to show off to girls. As for a successful career in politics...it'll be a long shot. Good luck with finding your other half."

"You come across as arrogant and deluded in this letter. You talk about your "career" as an "attorney", but I'm betting that you just graduated from Suffolk (a 4th tier law school, located in the same town as many better law schools -- Harvard, BC, and BU), and have yet to even pass the bar. If you graduated college at age 22, then went to law school without ever working in between, then at 25 you would be graduating from law school, never having worked full time at a real job in your life. So, what I'm saying is that you can go ahead and pretend you are living the life of some successful young lawyer, but don't expect women to come flocking to your doorstep wanting to play a role in your fantasy."

Suffolk Law School is the Bunker Hill Community College of Law Schools in downtown Boston.

Yes, Suffolk is absolutely accredited, has never had a problem in that area, was established in 1906 as a law school specifically for the non-privileged (contrary at that time to Harvard, BC and BU)

Is everyone at Harvard as dumb and fat as Mystal?

This is the worst article I have ever read. Elie, f you have ever worked more than 40 hours in a week at a legal-gossip website which puts up approximately five articles per day I would be thoroughly shocked. As a double Harvard graduate, I think it's safe to say you've seen your share of guys trying a little bit too hard.

This is the worst article I have ever read. Elie, f you have ever worked more than 40 hours in a week at a legal-gossip website which puts up approximately five articles per day I would be thoroughly shocked. Furthermore, I don't know too many women who go looking for love in Harvard Square. I wouldn't exactly call your alma mater the mecca of social skill and common sense.

Boston chicks are known to be extremely flatulent. I thought that this was common knowledge.

This guy sucks, but seriously, Boston women are the worst aspect of this city.

#66 - Seriously?

68 - no, totally serious, just like the rest of the bullsh*t people post on this site.

Well at least Elie admitted his wife is with him for the Benjamins. Although I think Lat just pays him with Jacksons and cupcakes.

56. But things didn't work out too well for your friend did they?
--Elie

"...intellectuals like myself"

I now understand the problem with this chap. He is a pathological liar and women will not tolerate that. Suffolk law chap, do you realize how incredulous you sound when you refer to yourself as an intellectual? I wasn't aware that Suffolk law was an institution where intellectuals enroll.

As a Suffolk grad myself, I am a little flattered by all you referring to the school as TTT in light of us droping to the fourth teir this year.

Some Boston men find the flatulence of Boston chicks to be an aphrodisiac.

@67 - I have never heard that.

71

Dying onscreen didn't do well for David Keith's career, either.

Wow, take a glance at how bad Suffolk's numbers are:
LSAT: 153/155/158
GPA: 3.01/3.28/3.49

And somehow, I doubt this guy was one of the top applicants to Suffolk either. Yikes.

Myself is an intellectual?

Myself am an intellectual?

Myself wants a non-feminist type GFF?

28 - comment of the century.

77- get back to studying for the bar

I hooked up with a girl from Boston once, after making out for awhile, she asked me if she could shit on my chest. I said what the hell, why not. 4 minutes later, I was covered in fecal matter and robbed.

Boston chicks may be cute while young but they quickly grow fat after a diet of beer and potatoes.

75 - Common knowledge.

If the original toolbox wants a GFE, he should have taken a look at the Craigslist section for Rhode Island. Then, he would have ended up getting shat on and robbed. Not all that different from dating, actually.

So let me get this straight, not only do Boston chicks have a fart problem, but they also like to shit on people? What the hell kind of town is that?

PE = Suffolk Lawyer

is right - prostitution is legal in RI (to a certain extent). This guy should check it out. Providence is only like 45 miles from Boston. Hell, he should move there - the COL in Providence is literally less than half of Boston, it's a doable commute, and a decent little city in its own right.

Rhode Island has an excellent collection of strip joints. Perhaps he can find a date there.

Not an Elie hater, but just because you have a legal tabloid doesn't mean you have to make several posts a day even when there's no news. And an awkward guy looking for love in the personals who happens to be a lawyer is emphatically not legal news, tabloid or otherwise.

Boston bars must smell terrible then if all the chicks are in there farting up the place.

Finding a real woman in Boston is close to impossible. They like to fuck, but only on their terms, with them using strap-ons pitted with nails. They like to give blowjobs, but only when they get to spit the juice back into your mouth. They like to take it up the ass, but you're only allowed to use your tongue. Get a life and move somewhere else.

Does one have to be literate to attend Suffolk law?

- BU law baller

If you don't want Boston chicks, live in Provincetown and take the ferry from there to Boston. You'll find plenty of traditional chicks with Adam's apples that appreciate romantic gestures.

Why would anyone let a Boston chick shit on their chest?

93

Speaking from experience, eh? How was it to be impaled by something studded with nails? You surely must have gone to the ER for that.

This comment is addressed to post no. 93.

Regarding Boston women, I see not much has changed since the '60s, except back then women didn't believe in razors or shaving.

96

The view from below must have been frightening indeed -- like a noisy and smelly version of something from Aliens.

Ignore 95 - I visited Provincetown a few years back, and had horrible self-esteem about my body for months afterwards (I run 30-40 miles/week and try to go to the gym 4-5/week for 90 minutes). The gay dudes in P-Town are ripped like Hugh Jackman. If you have a law school/attorney physique, prepare to be humbled.

The women, on the other hand, are all fairly butch.

100 has reading comprehension problems.

Let me guess -- a graduate of a fourth tier law school below Suffolk U?

"Suffolk Law last year and hopes to get into politics some day"

Yeah, as if someone who didn't go to HLS or BC is going to be successful in Boston politics. Good luck bud!

QUINN REMAINS a hopeless romantic

I dated a girl from Boston for a time and I don't think she farted around me once.

LEAVE ELIE ALONE!!!!!

I like this article. I thought it and Elie's comments were funny.

- Elie Groupie

"Yes, Suffolk is absolutely accredited, has never had a problem in that area, was established in 1906 as a law school specifically for the non-privileged (contrary at that time to Harvard, BC and BU)."

62: BC law was founded in 1929, well after Suffolk, and it too was meant for the "non-privileged" (i.e., Catholic working class students who were most likely not welcome at places like Harvard).

That being said, the original letter writer is more than a little unbelievable. He's working 40+ hours (so he's likely not working 60+ at biglaw, or he would have pointed it out), so it's probably a government position, and his first job, to boot. Yet he's able to wine and dine his dates, and shower them with purses and jewelry, on that salary?

Unless he's wining and dining them at Applebee's, and getting the purses and jewelry at TJMaxx or AJWright, this character doesn't make sense at all.

Now I am going to have nightmares of some Boston chicks giant gaping brown eye covering me in disgusting Boston effluvia.

This comment is addressed to post no. 72 (i.e., PE).

The word you're looking for is incredible (i.e., "not credible; hard to believe; unbelievable").

Incredulous = skeptical or disbelieving.

He didn't sound skeptical when he referred to himself as an intellectual; he sounded not credible.

This comment is addressed to post no. 72 (i.e., PE).

The word you're looking for is incredible (i.e., "not credible; hard to believe; unbelievable").

Incredulous = skeptical or disbelieving.

He didn't sound skeptical when he referred to himself as an intellectual; he sounded not credible.

Hello!!!! Am I the only one seeing the major shocker in this posting?!?! There is a Suffolk graduate......with a job!!!! Why am I the only one amazed here?!?!?!

107

Gives a new meaning to the word, Massholes.

It could be worse- he could have graduated from Northeastern or Boston College.

Rising 2L at Suffolk Law
Summer Associate at TinyLaw

It could be worser- he could have graduated from Northeastern or Boston College.

Rising 2L at Suffolk Law
Summer Associate at TinyLaw

Can we have an "Ask Partner Emeritus" column, please?

113 - nice, it could be "worser"

Signed rising 2L at Mass School of Law
Summer Associate at McDonalds

I think he was in my 1L class. During contracts he penned a play titled "Estoppel". My friend met him once and asked, "Why is he dressed like Sherlock Holmes?" I guess the garb explains his Victorian outlook. The ladies love him not :-(

Ha ha - Boston girls have humongous Massholes.

112 - Better not to wake sleeping giants. Stick to trashing Northeastern - even we think they're worse than you...

"First, treating a girl 'like a lady' is a lot easier if you don't condescend to her."

English much, Elie?

119 - What is the problem with that sentence?

The grammar police is (are?) getting ridiculous.

Hey, at least he didn't go to the Michigan State University College of Law. Now that's 4th tier.

Do not hook up with women in Boston. They will shit and fart all over you. \\\

you have been warned

"feminists" = girls who realize you are a tool after a once look over. And have better things to "do" ie anyone else.

"gold-diggers" = girls who realize you are a tool but have low standard and are ugly.

What do you call a Northeastern grad with a job?

A liar.

33-

umm, "is composed of"?

Everyone's soooo smart, aren't they? I went to Suffolk a few years back, passed the bar (are you amazed?), worked for a small firm, moved to DC, got a job at a large firm, and I'm still there. Yes, it's a shit school with an expensive building, but, under no circumstances (when I've been present, anyway) do girls from Boston fart on guys while they're sexin them.

OK?

Great. Get back to studying for the bar. You're all going to fail.

126 - Yeah, this board is loaded with prestige whores. Everyone can't wait to tell you that they went to a better school than you. What a bunch of losers.

I may have no job but I went to a better school than you!

HLS grad.

MASS-HOLE looking for MASS-WHORE

Stating time in full hour increments = Contract Attorney

102 - you must not live in Massachusetts. We would be lucky if some of our local politicians went to BC/BU/Harvard. Folks that go to those schools can get decent jobs, so we get stuck with the Suffolk Law/New England School of Law dimwits running the local political scene. They truly are a bunch of dolts, and many of them are corrupt. This buffoon (Suffolk Law=intelectual???) would fit right in, especially if he has a bad Boston accent and wears cheap suits.

83 = Cleveland Steamer
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Cleveland_steamer

In the greater scheme of things - better than an Alabama Hot Pocket.

128 - How much of a d-bag can you be to be at Harvard and have no job?

128 - How much of a d-bag can you be to be at Harvard and have no job?

Wait- how does TTTTier 4 Suffolk get its accreditation?

Shouldn't they get sanctioned for offering such a deplorable legal education?

BC Law 2L
Summer Associate at Foley Hoag

Is Suffolk an online school?

Ignorant 2L at Michigan.

What can you say about Suffolk that hasn't already been said about Afghanistan? lol.

Kash, I'll treat you like a lady. I'll bring you breakfast on Wednesday and then take you out for dessert.

#96 - to savour the smell of the sea and the taste of seafood.

At least if he went to Northeastern, one of the transgenders might go for him.

What makes you think he's actually a Suffolk Law student? I just graduated from Harvard Law. No, I mean Yale. Oops! I mean, Georgetown! (etc.)