First to say Texas Secure.

Coke on a Thursday, suckas!

Ok, Elie, I'll call you naive. I'll also call you a race baiting affirmative action product who took up (way too much) space at Harvard and then at Debevoise that should have gone to someone who had a qualification other than skin color.

This is turning into a Royal Rumble between the '08, '09, '10, and '11 classes...

FOURTHZ

They Lathamed some first years??

Fulbright & Jaworski, another peer firm for Latham.

Fulbright is TTT. I can't think of a real L.A. based firm that would layoff as many as 6 associates.

Elie, please explain your reference to being dead by now if you were in a Star Wars movie?

Mystal, would you rather be black or gay if you could do it all over again?

Those Lathamed Fulbright first years are still better off than the Lathamed Latham first years.

The Lathamed first years at Latham only got four months of experience before their Lathaming. The Lathamed Fulbright associates are almost second years. Plus Latham Lathamed WAY more first years.

Jaworski? Crap. ATL is going to start telling Polack jokes again.

MysTTTal you F*cking Cracker wannabe stop race baiting.

I need some help figuring out a TV theme song. It is an instrumental. I think it is from a 1980s sitcom and goes something like this:

Dum-dum-dum,
Dum-dum-dum, dah
Dum-dum-dum,
Dum-dum-dum, dah
(horns and cymbal added)

Dum-dum-dum,
Dum-dum-dum, dah
Dum-dum-dum,
Dum-dum-dum, dah

Dum-dum-dum,
Dum-dum-dum, dee
Dum-dum-dum,
Dum-dum-dum, dee

(repeat first and second verses)

Any ideas?

The ship be sinking...

This would never happen in Texas.

9. Jedi and others that have a "bad feeling about this" typically survive. I'm inferring that Jedi that have a "good feeling" about "this" die. It's just a guess, but I bet Master Windu had a really good feeling when he was fighting and beating the emperor, before Anakin showed up.
--Elie

How you like me now?

References to star wars, superman and killing werewolves. I would have referenced Star Trek. Something about associates there being like the 5th crew member going to the surface.

Elie, do you think that Anakin stepped in to undermine Windu simply because Windu was black? Are you saying that the Jedi acted stupidly?

I think those associates are going to be
in need of severance.

I love ya Dubya! Thanks to you, we Texans can still drive our 45K SUVs and live in 3500 sq ft houses...

NYC and LA - suck it!

Front page of today's Wall Street Journal says that the government is going to bail out people with cankles. I don't make the news, I just read it.

@22 - Hey, can I park my Lexis in your wife?

What is TTT?

Any word on practice group(s)?

DECHERT LAYOFFS TODAY IN MASS TORT GROUP! PLEASE REPORT.

Thanks for the explanation Elie.

-9

DUUUUUUUUUKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks for the explanation Elie.

-9

9 - I think Mystal means when Lea strangled Jabba.

HTH, its only a LATHAMING if everyone LATHAMED is Asian

Associates at Ballard in LA are next, with rolling layoffs moving gradually eastward until Ballard is just a boutique consulting firm on the 9th floor of the Mellon Building in Philly...you heard it here first, folks.

Class of 2011 is the lost generation.

Why are you not reporting Debevoise layoffs?!

31- lol Elie the Jabba

20. Gooood! Join me and I will complete your training.
--Elie

24,

Come on down and try...
We'll be waiting for ya.

Tip: Layoffs at Duke & Duke. Lost everything over a dollar bet. Damn you Winthorp. Damn you Billy Ray Valentine.

Next thing we are going to hear is that Ropes and Gray is laying off all female associates from Boston due to excessive flatulence in the office.

Elie, this is a great post! Anything to take the attention off of me and my school.

-Seton Hall summer at Orrick

Elie, this is a great post! Anything to take the attention off of me and my school.

-Seton Hall summer at Orrick

Latham guy - shouldn't you be sending out resumes and cover letters instead of boring us with your crap?

Is SMU in Houston?

Clearly a bunch of dud first years.

Thanks Obama.

-laid of 1st year

Can someone explain the Seton Hall at Orrick thing? I missed something...

I just sharted. Can I leave for the day?

-Female attorney in Boston

43 = latham partner

If you are going to lay people off, then do it! Cut 100 or more attorneys and show the world that Texas does everything bigger and better. But 6...really? The amount saved won't buy 5 more longhorns for each partners' cattle ranch. And to ruin you reputation for that small amount by slaghtering innocent first years? Why that's on par with the intelligence of another Texan I knew. Oh what was his name? George Smush?

Oh, I see. You had no reputation to begin with! In that case, "Keep rollin', rollin', rollin',
Though the streams are swollen,
Keep them dogies rollin', rawhide!"

49 - laid off loser living in his parents' basement.

If you are going to lay people off, then do it! Cut 100 or more attorneys and show the world that Texas does everything bigger and better. But 6...really? The amount saved won't buy 5 more longhorns for each partners' cattle ranch. And to ruin you reputation for that small amount by slaghtering innocent first years? Why that's on par with the intelligence of another Texan I knew. Oh what was his name? George Smush?

Oh, I see. You had no reputation to begin with! In that case, "Keep rollin', rollin', rollin',
Though the streams are swollen,
Keep them dogies rollin', rawhide!"

Hey guys, please stop trying to infer that I'm spending time on ATL instead of working hard to earn my Orrick offer. Thanks,

Seton Hall summer at Orrick

Where's Beeks? Where in the hell is Beeks?

49 - "laid off loser living in his parents' basement" (cite: 51.)

agreed.

Oh the sense of humor on MysTTTal

43, 51, 55 = Latham partners with no work and time to browse ATL

Boston Female Lawyer Shart Shtick=ULTIMATE FAILURE.

Boston Female Lawyer Shart Shtick=ULTIMATE FAILURE.

57 = Fulbright victim with time to follow Latham partners on ATL

54 - LOL

Also, Star Wars sucks.

58, 59

Too embarrassed to admit that you got shat on by a Boston female lawyer and your wallet stolen?

That's what happens when you eat Boston baked beans, potatoes, and drink beer regularly. These ladies need relief and you provided it to them!

ABOVE THE LAW HAS OFFICIALLY GONE ALL WEEK WITHOUT AN INTERESTING ARTICLE.

"Is there testosterone in the water supply in Texas or something? I don't think silver bullets laced with kryptonite could shake these guys."

Even if you got laid off in Texas, you're not going to go bankrupt from financial strain like say in New York. Heck, you could work at McDonald's and maintain a lot of mortgages in Texas.

That firm is Thaworstski.

" Oh what was his name? George Smush?"

He is no Texan. He's Connecticut Yankee Blueblood through and thru.

4- the only race baiter I see here is you. Come, tell me what causes this bitterness? Basement in parent's house not good enough for you? Do they make you pay rent?
Or is it that the only way you justify your failures is to blame to it on those other people who got what you wanted because of their skin color. Was it a girl? Who preferred a black man over your skinny white d....? What was it?

Do you think CSI: Boston deals with a lot of brown splatter patterns?

Layoffs at Debevoise! Please report.

58/59=PE

Read folks. The layoffs were in the LA office, not Houston - their LA office has been struggling for years. Their litagators keep losing cases.

19 - Referring to a "red shirt" or geologist from Star Trek would work as well.

1st to say Jawhorski.

64 -Its called confidence - self confidence, not one inherited because of a trust fund, or based on the name of a degree (although, based on your comments, i'd be wiling to compare that against you), or the name on a business card (again, willing to compare against you on that).

66- AGREED.

If the cat had kittens in the oven, we wouldn't call them biscuits, now would we?

24- if you can't spell Lexus, you probably don't have one.

Van Winkle ain't laying off shit.

Isn't Debevoise where Elie supposedly worked?

Folks, it makes sense for firms to lay off first year associates, then cut hiring and eliminate the summer program. Among many other things, clients aren't interested in having first year's work on their matters. Add to that the fact that first year's really aren't worth much anyway (know nothing, can't do nothing), and you have the perfect target for layoffs. Why should existing first year's get more consideration that a rising first year? Both are no better than shit on a stick, so let them both go.

Layoffs going on at K&L Gates!!! Please report!!!

76 went to Campbell law, works 10:00 to 4:20, and doubles his modest salary selling home-grown to Appalachian hippies, tax free.

Proskauer also Lathamed first years.

66/74 - I'll bet you said that in 2000 huh! No, you were wearing prissy red, white and blue cowboy boots with your designer jeans tucked into them and so proud for Texas. All while waiving your "I wish we could defect" lone-star flag.

78,

no, it doesn't. as a first year you're vulnerable as hell in the job market because you haven't developed any skills. you also turned down all the other entry level opportunities you had the previous year in reliance on your firm.

NO ONE SHOULD EVER GO TO A FIRM THAT LAYS OFF FIRST YEARS BECAUSE GETTING LAID OFF AS A FIRST YEAR FUCKS YOUR LIFE. YOU WILL NOT FIND ANYTHING SIMILAR TO THE OPTIONS YOU HAD DURING OCI.

yah, right now the economy is shit, so firms aren't too worried about their reps, but when it comes back the firms that have fucked over first years are going to take a hit in the quality of associate they're getting.

in the past, people turned down other V10s for Latham NY. Latham NY however is the only V10 that laid off half its first year class. plus the culture there is miserable now because everyone lives in fear. no rational law student with options will ever go there again.

78 - Easy Mr. Jaworski. No need to explain your actions to us.

Proskauer, Latham, Fulbright, and Clifford Chance. All PEER TOILET FIRMS.

FullNIght of Whorsky

83,

Youre analysis is disgustingly retarded. From your perspective, sure, those things *may* be true of first years -- although I know people in your place who landed quite well on their feet because they were pro-active, graduated with good grades even though they had good job offers, and had a good attitude.

Getting laid off sucks, it doesnt ruin your life. Get over yourself. No one will remember what firms are doing now, just like no one remembered what firms did in the late 90's or 70's when there were massive lay-offs. I'm willing to be in a few years, if Latham offered you decent money, you bend over and take it up the .. well, lets say you'd happily accept and say, "may i have another."

It's not that people don't feel bad for your unfortunate situation, but you make it so hard for people to feel bad for you - with the sense of entitlement (Latham owes me a job).

87.

Shearman???

Thank you, people remember, especially now that we have ABOVE THE LAW

What good has come from Texas?

1) Lee Harvey Oswald? That's one way to get into the history books Mr. Lone Assassin
2) Lyndon Johnson? Thank you for Vietnam good sir
George Bush? (FOFLMAO!)

BBQ? I'll give you that.

68 - LOL

87

"Youre analysis is disgustingly retarded"

You must be a latham partner.

87 - Easy Mr. Jaworski. No need to explain yourself to us.

89,

Things that came out of NYC:

1. derivative markets
2. bear sterns
3. madoff

66 is absolutely correct. And, 82, yes we said that in 2000 and you would get your ass kicked around here if you wore something like that.
- not 66/74

93 pwned 89

95=93 - something madoff would have done

96
yes, but only in NYC.

Things that came out of Boston females:

1. Mystal
2. Sharts
3. Explosive bowel syndrome
4. More than likely asslobsters

98 = WIN.

Goldman Sachs is also a rancid thing that came out of New York

Take this layoff as a blessing in disguise.

Why in sam **** did you want to be a biglaw associate to begin with? When you were a kid, I KNOW that you did not say, "When I grow up, I want to be a biglaw associate."

You want it for the money. You want it to pay off your loans. You want to use it as a springboard into more fulfilling legal careers.

Stop. Just stop. Take it from me. I was an associate and left biglaw several years ago after realizing that I was getting fatter, less energetic, weirder, etc.

You can make enough money to live a comfortable life and pay off your loans in another job (or another career).

What interests you about the law so much, anyway? If you like the law for what it is, then stay in the legal industry. But if you don't like the law or if you think you'd be happier in another career, then go for it.

You only live once, and while money is important, it's not everything. When you're lying on your deathbed, you're not going to wish you spent more time in the office or that you make another $10,000 or that you had another boat or whatnot.

Remember the important things in life: your family, your friends, your health, your happiness, and last, but not least, God.

God bless you and I wish you the best in your future endeavors.

Take this layoff as a blessing in disguise.

Why in sam **** did you want to be a biglaw associate to begin with? When you were a kid, I KNOW that you did not say, "When I grow up, I want to be a biglaw associate."

You want it for the money. You want it to pay off your loans. You want to use it as a springboard into more fulfilling legal careers.

Stop. Just stop. Take it from me. I was an associate and left biglaw several years ago after realizing that I was getting fatter, less energetic, weirder, etc.

You can make enough money to live a comfortable life and pay off your loans in another job (or another career).

What interests you about the law so much, anyway? If you like the law for what it is, then stay in the legal industry. But if you don't like the law or if you think you'd be happier in another career, then go for it.

You only live once, and while money is important, it's not everything. When you're lying on your deathbed, you're not going to wish you spent more time in the office or that you make another $10,000 or that you had another boat or whatnot.

Remember the important things in life: your family, your friends, your health, your happiness, and last, but not least, God.

God bless you and I wish you the best in your future endeavors.

Will someone please post about Debevoise? what shoddy excuses for reporters you people are. I finally understand the MysTTTal comments.

JaWHOREski is not biglaw. They start some offices at biglaw payscales, but their pay increases and bonuses are on par with Freddy Schlick Law Offices (solo practitioner fighting for those who wish to sue their spouse for an unwanted STD).

I guess this is what happens when you try to play the biglaw game when you're a small-time operation.

35, 69, or 103:

what have you heard about debevoise?

103 what is supposed to be happening at Debevoise?

Paul Hastings layoffs first week of August.

Jesus H. Christ! why does someone always have to go and bring God into everything??

Kind of answers the whole "Will we get offers?" questions from the LA summers. Sucks for them.

Any layoffs reported in Fulbright's Bratislava office??

I lied, jobs died.

I'm Barack Obama?

Fulbright and Dechert merger in the works? The force of wo ships sinking is greater than the two alone.

If you think the Obama Stimulus and Economic Recovery Plan is working, talk to someone who's not.

Good riddance to the deadweight. Now maybe the firm will start paying market salaries to the rest of its associates.

Good riddance to the deadweight. Now maybe the firm will start paying market salaries to the rest of its associates.

I know of one attorney in Dallas who was laid off.

11, your subtle cautiousness does not go unnoticed, nor is it unwarranted -- they ARE watching you.

111, your subtle cautiousness does not go unnoticed, nor is it unwarranted -- they ARE watching you.

yeah, in case there is any confusion that was meant for 111, not 11

Obama lied, jobs died.

No wonder CA wants "universal healthcare" -- none of them have marketable skills to keep themselves employed, and they've run their own healthcare system into the ground.

I am a non-equity partner at a T-15 firm. Laying off first and second year lawyers is an absurd strategy if a firm is intending to be successful in the long term. First of all, firms don't have anything to offer but their talent. First and second year lawyers add no value to a firm, so nobody knows which ones are going to be any good a few years down the road. So when firms lay them off, they are probably firing some future great attorneys and rainmakers. It is as dumb a strategy as hiring ridiculous class sizes two years ago. Cutting way down on summer hiring is also an absurd strategy. as is deferring start dates. (Sticking your head in the sand doesn't making a problem go away). In four years, the economy will be ticking along and firms will have to fill their classes with subpar lateral talent. To make matters worse, the attrition rate will return when the economy bounces back, and even if firms can hire enough to fill their ranks, there will be no cohesive culture because their associates will all be laterals.

It is truly amazing how stupid law firms are being. Even in good years, smart businesses fire poor performers. Any smart law firm should take every class from third or fourth years on up and fire the bottom third of the class performance-wise. (They should include non-equity partners in this trimming strategy). If firms did this, they would be in an especially good position to get some truly good people at OCI this year, as there will certainly be plenty available.

My firm starts the rounds this week. If we don't hire at least 60 summers this year, I'll think we're total idiots.

"The Recovery Act is working exactly as planned."

Fulbright's NYC offices are in the same building as Orrick. It must be getting real quiet over there....

My economic policies will save or create 4 million jobs. Unfortunately, that will still leave 146 mllion of you unemployed. The good news is that this isn't about me, because I already have a great job and great health insurance.

I'm Barack Obama?

Only one or two of the laid off attorneys in L.A. were first years.

Managing partner of a 1 lawyer firm specializing in soft tissue injury car crashes and traffic citations looking to hire 30 law clerks for summer 2010. Must be T-10, top 5%, Law Review. No pay, but great experience.

126

so they didn't pull a Latham? god damn Latham treats its associates like shit compared to even TTT firms like Fulbright

122,

If you're a non-eq partner at a V15 firm, please tell us which one. It's obviously not doing well if you're on ATL during the day.

Everyone that doesn't believe you.

These layoffs were in their struggling LA office - not Houston.

122 is a law student, that hopes a firm hires 60 summers in the fall.

Epic fail

#3

In the good ole days, it was Coke EVERY day! And we snorted it right off our sleazy secretary's naked thigh. Where did the good times go PE?

22 - Texans need their EXTRA large SUVs and 3500 square ft houses so they can fit their fat asses in them. They are one of the fatest state in the nation. Keep eating those fried pork chops you lard fugly ass!!

Everything is bigger in Texas!

anyone in Texas have a 3500 square ft. wife I can borrow. No Boston chicks currently residing in Texas please

133,

Good comebacks...really, all of them.

So, you would say the same about Philadelphia and Chicago, which are consistently rated 1-3 in obesity levels?

I'll enjoy my state with a budget surplus despite not taking federal handouts, unemployment rates 2% points better than the national average, 2nd leading producer of alternative energy, leading producing of mainstream energy, home to more presidents.

Enjoy poverty in 350sq, being bitter at the world. But hey, at least you're "prestigious," right?

58/59= Theo Epstein

136

Sold! I'm moving to Texas to get me a fat ass wife, a Lex[i]s, cheap energy, a monsterous ranch house on a thousand acres of scrub-brush, and a chance at becoming president! PE's IQ is greater than the cumulative IQ of all Texas presidents - so I'd say my chances are pretty good!

138. Texas women are by far the hottest around. You Yankees can keep your rug munchers and fugly whores.

139 - If by hot, you mean fat - then yes. They are.

Goddddddd, prestttttttttttttige, just pump it into my veins.

My guess - 122 = K&E

--not 122

Agreed. 122 = K&E.

When you say your firm "starts the rounds this week," do you have knowledge of impending layoffs?

-Also not 122

Fat chicks need love too

Latham laid off close to 100 of their first years. 5 is just a joke. FJ should learn from Latham and fire people who are promising and leave those who are best at sucking up. I understand leaving sons of partners and clients, but just dumb suckups - I don't get it. Latham, just die.

Latham laid off close to 100 of their first years. 5 is just a joke. FJ should learn from Latham and fire people who are promising and leave those who are best at sucking up. I understand leaving sons of partners and clients, but just dumb suckups - I don't get it. Latham, just die.

Fat chicks need love too

YOU ARE ALL A BUNCH OF MEAN IDIOTS! You were probably playground bullies when you were younger. Idiots, idiots, IDIOTS.

I PAID $150,000 to go to law school. That is ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND DOLLARS. More money than you can count.

And this is how I get repaid? THIS? What a crock of bullshit. I can't believe this.

All I wanted was to go to law school and get good grades. I worked my ass off day and night in college and studying for the LSAT and in law school and this is what I get in return?

On the fairness scale, this gets a flat out negative -10.

148=fat chick, likely hailing from the Boston area

OCEANS RISE

CITIES FALL

QUINN RE-D'OH!

It is the female Bostonians of the world shitting on everything that are ruining it for the rest of us who can control our sphincters.

122 sounds like he has never heard of a f*****g balance sheet and wants to hire summers for s***s and giggles. By non-equity partner he probably means he makes no money at all. Like Milton from Office Space. Epic epic fail.

Why would we count it. We trust you. 150,000 dollars

Now turn around so I can give you a wedgie

#148 Sounds fair to me. We needed your tuition money to train the lawyers that don't bitch. Darwin's natural selection, thinning the heard....

148 - Unfair indeed! And when we all start practicing the Equity rather than the Law, you'll be the first in our soup line!

138,

Thanks for demonstrating your analytical skills. No one said you'd get any of those things if you moved here. In fact, Im guessing you wouldnt get any of them because ...well, you should like you have a huge sense of entitlement (to make up for your small peni(redacted). That doesn't go over well here. In Tx, we like substance.

If you moved here, you would undoubtedly (1) get you ass kick every day (2) cry yourself to sleep (3) marry a fat wife - because that's the only person who will have you, not because all women here are fat (4) live in misery because you probably have no job and no marketable (5) get your ass kicked every day.

Or you could visit here, talk the same smack and see what happens.

156 - Easy cowboy, nobody meant to steal your dream. You can have the cows and the wife (if you care to distinguish) and the rest to boot!

BTW, been to Texas, talked that smack, and nobody did shit! And yup, I'd do it again.

Rule: No matter where you live, if all you get are fat chicks, its not the location, its you.

make that thinning the herd. ya heard

DUDE:

Is the "Jaworski" in Fulbright and Jaworski related to Ron?

Did that football player dude and that scholar dude form a law firm or something? I don't get it.

Class of 2011 is the lost generation.

If you're going to name a firm after a QB, why go with Jaworski? Why not Manning, Favre, Montana or Aikman?

Do people call the firm "Jaws" like they do the QB?

End of month PHJW layoffs will affect primarily LA, NY, DC, ATL & SF. Staffers are included.

145, 146:

We only fired first years who do not know how to click a web button just once.

Class of 2011 is the lost generation.

Mr Dell, can you comment on the following contention: "Class of 2011 is the lost generation."

I'm 125? = karl roves love buddy

go to sleep

Steven Seagal

Fulbright's Dallas office laid off 23 staffers on Thursday.

Houston office had layoffs 7/30; more possibly 7/31.

Houston office had layoffs 7/30; more possibly 7/31.

#145: That's the way all the firms are going now. The glorified babysitters need justification for being there. Good people don't need babysitters, right? Sad but true. These large firms won't wakeup until it's too late.

#145: That's the way all the firms are going now. The glorified babysitters need justification for being there. Good people don't need babysitters, right? Sad but true. These large firms won't wakeup until it's too late.

#145: That's the way all the firms are going now. The glorified babysitters need justification for being there. Good people don't need babysitters, right? Sad but true. These large firms won't wakeup until it's too late.

Did layoffs really happen in the Dallas and Houston offices? Can anyone confirm?

I can confirm that 50 Texas associates were laid off earlier this week, plus an unknown number of support staff.

177 -- Earlier this week? Not last week like 172/173 suggested?

177 is a liar.

Dallas and Houston, along with San Antonio and Austin all had layoffs, which were generally confined to staff. Few, if any, attorneys were laid off.

Fulbright = 80% offer rate

I know that at least the Dallas office laid off associates.

in which group?