Lawsuit of the Day: Egyptian sperm are really strong swimmers
Stroking of breasts can (eventually) culminate in pregnancy. But, as far as we know, the breaststroke can’t.
Magdalena Kwiatkowska might disagree. She’s filing a lawsuit because her teenage daughter became pregnant during a recent trip to Egypt. From the Daily Mail (via Transracial):
A mother is suing a hotel claiming her teenage daughter fell pregnant simply from using a hotel swimming pool.Magdalena Kwiatkowska says the 13-year-old conceived after coming into contact with ‘stray sperm’ in the water of an Egyptian resort.
We’re sure her daughter encountered sperm somehow at the resort, and maybe even in the pool, but it likely wasn’t “stray.” Still, her mother insists “‘that her daughter didn’t meet any boys while she was there,’ a travel industry source said.”
This lawsuit makes us feel slightly less guilty about the “dumb Polack” jokes we used to tell in elementary school.
UPDATE: Kash does not condone racial or ethnic slurs, but she does admit to poor joke judgment as a second-grader in Floriduh.
My daughter, 13, got pregnant by swimming in hotel pool, claims mother [Daily Mail]
VACATION VIRGIN: Mama Says Stray Sperm in Hotel Pool Got Daughter Pregnant [Transracial]
Mother Claims Hotel Pool Got Her Daughter Pregnant [Hotel Chatter]




Comments
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First...Kash, this story sucks. Super FAIL.
First to say really bad taste on the joke line.
turd
1 - Are you kidding? This is HILARIOUS.
Kash, you aren't just sexy, you are funny too!
Fuck you Kash. You wouldn't dare say this about blacks, you racist.
- the Polish
2, not really; she's admitting she feels guilty about the jokes.
LOL, what about Chlorine? I mean what about the rest of it, but I would think the chlorine argument would pretty much solve that one instantly.
Kash is part Polish.
6,
"Less guilty", meaning they were at least partly justified by this story.
2
Kash could buy and sell PE a hundred times over.
1 = Magdalena Kwiatkowska
I am a Seton Hall summer at Orrick. Should I be scared about this?
Kash likes Polish sausage...
This story is more properly the impetus for a new religion based on an immaculate conception. Nothing like lying sloots and gullible parents.
You stay classy, ATL.
Dumb Pollack jokes? Really Kash? C'mon...
Wow. No surprise, this woman comes from a conservative Catholic country. If she had comprehensive sex education as a child, perhaps she’d know that this is scientifically impossible and that she would be laughed out of a court room for even suggesting this. Even if there was no chlorine in the pool, the sperm couldn’t survive long enough floating randomly in the water and then up into the child’s vagina to impregnate her.
Jagshemash!
This might be the best story of all time. I mean, I was always good at making my parents think I was the best kid ever (b/c I was), but good LORD, how naive do you have to be to believe that your daughter got preggo from a pool?
17, to be fair, Catholics and other Christians also believe that a so-called "virgin" magically gave birth to a baby about 2000 years ago.
This website has turned into such a piece of shit. Not even worth checking anymore.
And the "joke" line at the end is in very poor taste. How ignorant are the people running this site?
21 - If you think it's a POS, then go away! Nobody is forcing you to read it.
Love that graphic.
Has the girl sat on any tractors?
Kash's joke is in bad taste. just what we should expect from a wannabe.
The "dumb Polack joke" comment is entirely unnecessary and, really, not very funny. As hot as I think Kash is, I'm actually disappointed in her today.
17: Recheck your "comprehensive" facts. Sperm can survive for up to 5 days in water.
So, is the mother saying that someone managed to catch a beat next to her daughter and her daughter didn't even notice?
Bad joke by Kash. The story is funny and speaks for itself, entirely unnecessary.
Not scientifically impossible - just very improbable. But sperm can survive a long time and can withstand harsh environments (the vaginal tract is very acidic, for example). It's evolution. The stronger the sperm, the more likely to create offspring, and pass on those strong sperm genes.
The point of the last line is actually against racial / ethnic jokes. Kash is telling people that they should feel guilty about telling such jokes. It's like a public service message.
Maybe you have to read to the story to tell, but was the woman Polish? I suppose you could guess by the name, but if that's the point (that she's Polish), it might have helped to point it out in the blog. Not that that would make it less offensive. But at least it would be a little clearer.
Wtf, why are people up in arms about a polock reference?
After all the things said on here that is the one that really gets your goat?
Denial ain't just a river in Egpyt
Dozens of people spontaneously conceive in swimming pools each year. It's just not really widely reported.
I will be clerking for Justice Harriet Myers starting in October.
This reminds me of the girl who got 56 tattoos on her face, and then told her dad she fell asleep on the table and the tattoo artist did it without her consent.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/europe/belgium/5603769/Girl-with-56-stars-tattooed-on-face-admits-she-asked-for-them.html
What is it with parents and denial?
I'd like to pull a Led Zeppelin and "move through Kashmir"
27 - check your facts again. Sperm can only survive for a matter of minutes in plain, warm water. If it were pool water with chemicals, the sperm would die nearly instantaneously. Either way, 5 days is WAY off the mark. I'm sure some 8th graders that completed sex ed can educate you further on the issue.
31, meet 9
Maybe the baby is Jesus.
Which is more likely, getting pregant from stray sperm in a pool or a 13 year old girl telling a lie.
I didn't find the post inappropriate.
As for the use of the stock photo by the first linked newspaper of some poor girl sitting at the pool, now that is just mean.
Kash's comment sucks because, had the story involved someone black, she wouldn't have said it made "dumb n****r" jokes slightly less guilt-inducing.
I have no idea how that THC turned up in my blood test.
The real question is who the hell vacations in EgypTTT?
Jerry: You got gonorrhea from a tractor?? And you call *that* your tractor
story??
Kramer: You can't get it from that.
Sophie: But I did. My boyfriend said I got gonorrhea from riding the tractor
in my bathing suit.
30 - the vaginal fluids during ovulation actually nurture the sperm. They do not harm it. It is NOT a hostile environment, but a hospitable one. Good to see that so many people had such shitty sex education in school.
http://www.canfp.org/artman/publish/article_160.shtml
"Question: Once ejaculated how long do sperm live in a hostile environment?
Answer: Unless sperm are deposited vaginally they are unlikely to survive very long. First, they are very temperature- dependent. It is well-known that when a gentleman brings a semen sample to a laboratory for semen analysis the technician prefers to view it within 30 minutes of ejaculation because the sperm stop moving in short order if not kept at body temperature. Second, if the sperm are not embraced by the nurturing vaginal fluids of a woman close to the time of her ovulation they die. Water and oil are particularly toxic."
44, it's not racist if you're mocking members of the white race. You're obviously not a wise Latina if you didn't know that.
Change we can believe in.
Note the update: "Kash does not condone racial or ethnic slurs, but she does admit to poor joke judgment as a second-grader in Floriduh."
Apology accepted, Kash.
Leave Kash alone. It was funny.
If Kash doesn't condone the slurs then why does this story make her feel less guilty today than it did previously?
I thought Polish people were smart. Now Canadians on the other hand....
Stereotypes are perpetuated for a reason. Because they are true.
48 -- how would you know, have you been in there? Oh, wait, actually...
I know I'm just another scared 3L (well, bar taker now), but I really think that Lat and Kash posts (without Ellie) make for a much better ATL.
Nothing against E, but the quality of this blog has been much better over the last couple of days.
Stereotypes are awesome and should be perpetuated vigorously.
Gives a whole new meaning to the "shallow end of the gene pool."
Someone should probably tell Magdalena Kwiatkowska that her daughter is a whore.
Blarf blarf
Really? We think perpetuating stereotypes is okay? I think it is hilarious that we are still making Polish jokes. Hello AMERICA a good number of people thought that Sarah Palin would be a great VP. Clearly, we are superior to all Poles and the most educated group of people!?!
Holy shit, this racism is crazy. Why is it okay to make racial slurs against Poles? Why the double-standard? I'm not Polish, but it's really terrible, and I don't remember the Roland Burris news ending with "and now I don't feel so bad about all those elementary-school 'lazy negro' jokes."
Polack jokes? Come on. Really? I like the update. Kash makes an ethnic slur and then makes a statement that she does not condone it. I guess the Ivy league teaches everything but common sense. I assume that the next logical step is that your posts about Bernie Madoff you will be including jokes about Jews and Puerto Rican jokes about Judge Sotamayor All that aside, Polack jokes went out with Pet Rocks. Didn't they teach you about Madame Curie, Copernicus, Pope John Paul II, Milosz, Jozef Conrad and other stupid Polacks in school?
As a Polish American, I am not offended as much by your statement. I am more offended at the lack of humor. And I know funny. I majored in Hilarity in School with a minor in Funny.
As Archie Bunker would say. You Meatheads
What is all this? I come from a polish family and we make dumb polack jokes all the time. they're funny, lighten up people. poles got a rep for being stupid b/c many of them who came to this country were very poor, had no education, and spoke no english. So to many, they seemed dumb. Pretty understandable. But, us smart Polacks made good, and can now laugh at the jokes because we have a sense of humor. [bad english intended].
Kind of reminds me of "The Painted Bird"...anyone else read it?
Should Kash use some of her rumored wealth to pay reparations to the Polish American community?
What do you call a black polish person?
I want some information on the Lionel Hutz who signed the complaint.
How is it that no one has yet pointed out that being Polish is a nationality, and not a race?
Um, everyone is discussing the dumb joke at the bottom of the post and ignoring Kash's first sentence?! It's begging for some funny comments. Alas, I am not funny...
This blog sucks without Elie.
69, because you're retarded. Polish is an ethnicity, not just a nationality. And discrimination against a specific ethnicity is racist. Just ask Sotomayor about her Hispanic ethnicity.
If the resort was the Sharm El Sheikh, I'm pretty sure I stroked her breasts and came in her pool.
Reminds me of Borat Sagdiyev
71 - I miss Elie too!
My family on my dad's side is Polish. Growing up in Wisconsin we loved nothing better than to tell a "dumb-Polack" joke. Though I guess it is different, since we Poles were telling them. My favorite is my grandmother's cut-in-half mug that is enscribed with "Polish half-cup of coffee". Classic...
Horrified by the Polish joke. Horrified.
I see the haters apparently aren't having any problems adjusting now that Elie gone for a few days.
My daughter and several of her friends got pregnant the same way. We think the sperm came from the local water supply...those hooligans down at the treatment plant! Of course, we threw out the baby upon birth because everybody knows that pool babies are especially prone to colic.
http://chuckpalahniuk.net/features/shorts/guts
It happened in this unbelievably nauseating short story by Chuck Palahniuk, author of Fight Club!
Polack jokes are not acceptable anymore now that we have a half-Polack in the White House. Funny no one ever mentions where the other half of his genetic material comes from.
13 you stole my joke
Everyone is missing the point arguing about whether or not sperm could survive in a pool.
If even a small amount of pool water could travel into the vagina and all of the way to the cervix in the regular course of swimming, no woman would ever swim, bathe, or shower again.
@24
Exactly what I was thinking!...
...well that's it for me.......
@65 -- The Painted Bird was a great book. Doesn't show off Poles in the best light, however.
The joke was uncalled for. Very disappointed in Kash.
what does this have to do with Catholics, you bigots?
86 - Poland is 89% Roman Catholic and the Catholic Church isn't much for sex education. To think that her daughter could get pregnant from a swimming pool, this woman obviously could have used some sex education, but living in an overwhelmingly Catholic country, it is unlikely she ever received any beyond "save yourself for marriage.” Instead, she is as misinformed as the poster above who suggested that sperm could live for five days in water.
Comment removed by moderator.
I wonder why they removed 88? It was an interesting article.
89
Agreed. I think they call that censorship or something.
The Answer to the Complaint should quote former rap artist, and a former member of a band group N-W-A, Ice Cube, as his lyrics go... "Your daughter was a nice girl, but now she is a slot! The queen treat niggas just like king tot ..."
Wow... This is ripe for another Polish joke.
Why did polish people stop eating candy at one point? Answer: b/c they had indigestion from candy wrappers.
Is the lawyer handling this action Polish too?
Dumb Polack? Are you kidding me??? That makes me feel better about all of the dumb women jokes I heard in elementary school.
I like how Elie seems okay enough with this product to keep it posted. That makes me feel better about all of the dumb African-American jokes I heard in elementary school.
37 -- I was thinking the same thing! If you are a hot (non-Polish chick), we could be soul-mates
#88 was a link to a Nutmeg Lawyer Blog article.
They wrote an entire article picking on Above the Law for the dumb polack comment. Pretty funny.
"dumb Polack" jokes? What a scrunt.
#92 Worst Polish joke ever. I love when the joke teller comes off stupider than the joke.
Lay off the Polish jokes. They are played out.
I wanna have a little stray sperm contact with Kash!
What is the Nutmeg Lawyer?
Never mind. Found it. I googled it.
I guess the author of the nutmeg lawyer is Polish. They did a whole thing about Kash's comment about polacks. Hilarious.
I think ATL needs to run a new thread with a "Re-write Kash's Poorly Executed Joke Contest." Regardless of whether it was offensive, elementary schools aren't exactly ground zero for ethnic slurs. Why not reference an alcoholic uncle, a father-in-law, or talk radio?
More so, why even go the ethnic route here at all? It is effing hilarious that this woman's daughter had sex, told her mom she didn't even though she was pregnant, and then her mom was stupid enough to believe her, but not stupid enough to believe in immaculate conception.
There should have been a great joke about idiot clients and the lazy lawyers who love them. Instead, you farted where the score called for a trumpet fanfare.
I think ATL needs to run a new thread with a "Re-write Kash's Poorly Executed Joke Contest." Regardless of whether it was offensive, elementary schools aren't exactly ground zero for ethnic slurs. Why not reference an alcoholic uncle, a father-in-law, or talk radio?
More so, why even go the ethnic route here at all? It is effing hilarious that this woman's daughter had sex, told her mom she didn't even though she was pregnant, and then her mom was stupid enough to believe her, but not stupid enough to believe in immaculate conception.
There should have been a great joke about idiot clients and the lazy lawyers who love them. Instead, you farted where the score called for a trumpet fanfare.
I think ATL needs to run a new thread with a "Re-write Kash's Poorly Executed Joke Contest." Regardless of whether it was offensive, elementary schools aren't exactly ground zero for ethnic slurs. Why not reference an alcoholic uncle, a father-in-law, or talk radio?
More so, why even go the ethnic route here at all? It is effing hilarious that this woman's daughter had sex, told her mom she didn't even though she was pregnant, and then her mom was stupid enough to believe her, but not stupid enough to believe in immaculate conception.
There should have been a great joke about idiot clients and the lazy lawyers who love them. Instead, you farted where the score called for a trumpet fanfare.
Most of you spent your weekend writing a complaint about a Polark joke. Congrats! You grew up to be a D bag.
Says #105 who posted a comment at 5:35 AM LOL
It's pretty safe to say that if your telling a dumb Polak joke, a black joke a jew joke, etc...you are a "D bag" as you say.
You deleted a comment that linked to a post criticizing this post. To quote Carman "weak."
Delete this http://thenutmeglawyer.blogspot.com/2009/07/above-law-blawg-hits-below-belt.html
You got bench slapped by the Nutmeg Lawyer for making a lame joke and an even lamer quasi-apology.
How'd that blog slap feel?
I don't know if they were bench slapped. Maybe whacked with a gavel a few times. The Nutmeg Lawyer is pretty funny though. He didn't seem uptight about it. I'm guessing the writer practices in CT. That's the Nutmeg State right?
Pittsburg Legal Backtalk blogged about the ethnic slur thing too.
At least spell it right. It's Polak.
Now I don't feel as bad for telling those dumb Kash jokes.