ATL Caption Contest: Shame on You
It has been a long time since our last caption contest. In fact, we don’t believe we’ve done one since last year. So it’s time for a new one. The rules are the same as before:
[P]ost your caption entries in the comments. We’ll take our favorites, incorporate them into a poll, and allow you to vote for your favorite.We present the picture below without comment or back story, so as not to limit your creativity. If you know the back story, please refrain from posting it.
We’ll tell everybody the real story behind the picture when the contest is over.
Please note that we have redacted the name of the firm in question, to prevent this thread from turning into a “Dump on Firm X” thread. So if you know the name of the firm, please don’t disclose it in the comments. When we inform you of the story behind the picture, we will inform you of the firm.
Here’s the photo. It’s a thumbnail, so feel free to click on it for a closer look.
(209) Comments
Comments
So lame. Even with me being first.
Morrison Foerster
Many times labor unions will picket a building's anchor tenants to try and put pressure on building management to change labor practices.
So in the end, the name of the firm is irrelevant.
Looks like this is going to put a damper on Partner Emeritus' retirement party.
Boston chicks for eating nothing but beans.
Shame on you.... for raising our soda prices!
http://abovethelaw.com/2009/08/foley_lardner_cheap_soda.php
Partner Emeritus, exposed.
Roxanna's job search takes a turn for the worse.
Firms that do stealth layoffs.
The woman for soliciting a gigolo.
This would never happen in Texas.
"I'm a labor lawyer, let me give you my card."
Blank Rome gets hit for $20 million in a malpractice case and Lat tries to bury it. Girard diCarlo is gone and Lat still fears him.
Overworked associates finally walk out on McDermott for eliminating free coffee. Flavia to 190!
Lat-
Thanks for telling us to click on the "thumbnail." That 10% increase in size really helped.
"Deferrals finally hit the copy room guys."
For admitting Mystal to law school
First comes the hard on then comes the shame on
"It's hot out here Ms. Daisy. Why can't I just wait in the car?"
Shame on the guy pooping in the bucket.
Latham and Watkins New York
You guys should have a chosen a more compelling picture. The scene is clearly in downtown DC (the trademark sidewalk tiles are unmistakable- many people will even recognize the red building across the street). The firm, in all likelihood, is representing an employer in a labor dispute. The labor union has paid a couple homeless people to stage a "protest." We need more mystery.
"Kash's life was changed when, during a protest against Biglaw, Ghandi's grandson convinced her to cut off her hair to 'look more like a lesbian.'"
In a true symbol of unity, Latham's entire cadre of remaining first years takes to the streets in support of their fallen brethren.
...me, for reading this post.
"Kash and Elie manufacture an ATL story."
ship be sinking guy and glass cock girl couldn't escape layoffs....
"Thanks for the lifesaver"...
"I wish I had a lifesaver. All I got is this crappy sign."
Corporate lawyers get creative to earn their $75,000 deferral check.
Judging from this picture, the "protest" is a sham for the latino (seen shaking down the white lady) and the African American male (sitting on the bucket) who are really carrying on a street three card monte scam.
"We're gonna need a bigger umbrella."
Former Thelen and current Orrick partner The Glass Cock here, applauding and voting for 27. The Glass Cock would have captioned the photo "The evolution of the ass lobster: Day 1, sitting on the lobster bucket."
Nobody wanted to tell Carla that the reason Biglaw Firm X wouldn't hire her was her complete complete inability to wear proper courtroom attire.
shame on you ... for scheduling business casual day on the same day as hooker fridays
How much you cost?
Boston female shart protest.
Enough is enough.
Tired of limiting their criticsms to a blog, the guys behind What About Clients? decide to take a more direct approach.
Shame on Suffolk Law School for their Fourth Tier Toiletry and posting Paralegal Jobs to recent JDs
Comment removed by moderator.
"... for banning union-mandated 'sleeveless Mondays.'"
I am a Seton Hall summer at Orrick. Should I be scared about this?
"Layed off associates try a new strategy after their restatement section 90 claims fail."
Shame on you and your lies Obama.
"Firms run a risk of bad publicity when they lay off both labor lawyers and the print shop staff at the same time."
the state of Maine for serving such delicious lobster.
23=winner
Elie's stay-cation wasn't what he bargained for.
There goes my "no pot to piss in" argument.
"Shame on ATL for blocking out the name of this firm"
The result of associates unionizing their firms.
biglaw firm x assists in protest by shading "me" with a firm sponsored umberella.
Comment removed by moderator.
all the people commenting negatively about Kash and her personal life!
The Great Recession reaches a crescendo as Biglaw recruiting offices hire self-shaming protesters in a last-ditch effort to discourage 2Ls from applying.
"Bucket-Drummers Local 396 is mad as hell, and they won't take it anymore."
Day one of Elie's vacation ends in tragedy as he was arrested for soliciting a prostitute in front of mailroom protest...
Shame on all of you for posting unfunny comments.
Shame on Ropes & Gray for laying-off associates, while at the same time hiring a BYU student that was punished for plagiarism.
"Slow day at ATL"
"Firms adopt a public-humiliation approach to firing under performing associates during the downturn"
Shame on Ropes & Gray for laying-off associates, while at the same time hiring a BYU student that was punished for plagiarism.
"My overnight sleeping rate is only $150/hour"
"Now I have to charge half price for my ladies because of all the laid off attorneys hitting the streets"
Shame on Firm X for only laying off 2 employees. Doesn't it realize we're in a recession?
Shame on Skadden for paying me so much money while other firms laid people off.
Skadden Secure
55, nice work.
Lowenstein Sandler--for rescinding offers to first-years, and not keeping it hush-hush, instead of doing the honorable thing and deferring them to infinity.
靶垛龙虾
Israel
"Picketing FAIL"
"Kash's life was changed when, during a protest against Biglaw, Ghandi's grandson convinced her to cut off her hair to 'look more like a lesbian.'"
Shame on you White & Case...
Black guy says, "No, our hoes don't give change mutha fucka! Bitch, just take his money and get behind the curtain and suck Mr. White off! We ain't no fuckin' ATM!"
Black guy mumbles, "That's what I call a Labor Dispute."
TTT summers' protest of getting passed over ends in epic failure as they post sign in front of wrong building
"GULC 2L's get proactive and take OCI into their own hands!"
Unemployed lawyer Roxana St. Thomas finally accepts the advice of ATL posters and turns to escorting to make a living. Here she is seen settling up with a client for a "nooner." 300 roses, always a GFE!
"Excuse me sir, but do you have five minutes to discuss the 'tough love hybrid approach'"?
SMU SMU.
"BONG HITS 4 JESUS attorney gets laid off"
I don't think it has to start with "Shame on."
Shame on the entire goddamn Biglaw industry for its lies, layoffs and false empathy.
"What do we want?"
"Jobs!"
"When do we want 'em?"
"No earlier than January 2011, economic concerns permitting!"
"Law firm employees up in arms over the switch to single-ply TP in the bathrooms"
...on all of us for voting for Mystal.
81 = win
"If you're not going to get my dictation done today, can I at least have my afternoon fruit snacks?"
"So you say they underpay their staff and associates, treat all employees poorly, and offer no medical or retirement benefits whatsoever? . . . Are they hiring?"
"In a classic labor protest rookie mistake, the former associates wasted their budget on a fancy sign and failed to reserve funds for doughnuts, resulting in awkwardly low participation."
24, still laughing. Well done.
http://twitter.com/PartnerEmeritus
Evidence of grassroots unity against the 'Prostitution is a right, not a privilege' argument presented by Firm X in court last week.
"I want to have babies."
Disheartened as their period of unemployment lasts well past their severance checks, laid-off associates find the general public unsympathetic to their plight.
"Hold my wallet for me. I'm going in."
I'm sure my dignity's in here somewhere....
"Good afternoon, my name is Walter Jones, Esq., and I am a service partner at a peer firm. On behalf of Partner Emeritus, I would like to offer you this shiny nickel for an hour of your time, to be spent in Partner Emeritus' corner office. If you have any concerns about changing adult diapers, your fee will be doubled to TWO shiny nickels."
"Non-equity partners pay the price for not building a book of business."
T-bone uses the old "hide behind the banner and sit on a bucket" routine to make sure an unspecting John pays in full. Little does Lee Kwan Fat realize that his paying in quarters will result in five across the eyes.
"First, we lose our jobs. Then, we can't even get the blow-up rat, and have to settle for this stupid sign. What else can go wrong in this economy?"
That picket sign looks like one I've seen around DC . . . B***** Properties?
Although the other letters had mocked him earlier that day as the sun shone down, when the afternoon showers finally came, "M," it turns out, had the last laugh.
i bike by this law firm everyday on my way to work. it is indeed in DC. the labor dispute involves alleged payment of "non-union" wages to carpenters (or some other blue-collar trade; i can't recall).
usually this area is inhabited by SEIU rabble-rousers, banging on drums and sucking on cigarettes.
"Roxana St. Thomas with Labor Dispute Retractable Awnings, Inc. Pleasure to meet you. Now I know I have a card around here somewhere . . . ."
Shame on Dwight Schrute for soliciting Pam Beesley.
"Now, if I can just find that pepper spray..."
"Though purporting to offer a petition signature in support, the man writes down "FIRST" and briskly walks away."
The newly-formed George Washington Law School Student Union protests law firms' withdrawals from OCI.
Here's my card. Available for anything from healthcare town hall meetings to Prop 9 protests. We'll even tape our mouths shut at the Supreme Court if that's your thing.
Shame on BigLaw Firm X for not revealing sooner that they represent Speed Racer!
"My law firm didn't get me what I wanted for Christmas."
"What did you want?"
"Hungry Hungry Hippos."
"And how did you feel, being denied these hungry, hungry hippos?"
"Regret"
105 .... Excellent!!! LOL
"What do we want? Bigger umbrellas, with firm or client branding!
When do we want them? Now!"
"...'cause they're all the same anyway."
just sign this release that you agree to appear in "Bumfights: Lawyers Edition" and we'll get you your bucket.
Those of you offering kudos on your own posts (ie. 23/46, 55/66, 81/85, 105/110), epic FAIL.
Awesome post, 114!
"As you can see, my friend and I are highly qualified protesters. Here's a copy of my resume for your consideration."
lol at 115.
114 - This is 110 and I have no idea who 105 is.
Screw you!
"Sorry to hear about John Hughes - I loved you in 16 Candles. My shift is over in an hour."
"Shame on David Lat for Soliciting a Prostitute in a Floral Skirt"
I don't have all the facts, but I think we can all agree that BigLaw Firm X acted stupidly.
"In an unusual maternity case, a woman lost custody of her child when a partner at Law Firm X successfully disputed that she had ever gone into labor."
"After every last firm backed out of this year's OCI program, incoming 2L's decided to get creative in expressing their displeasure with legal recruiting."
Shame on David Lat for failing to disclose his love affair with Pepin Tuma.
114 = frustrated law school year book editor that wonders why no one finds his captions funny.
After being laid off from her BigLaw position, Suzie, like many young associates, had to resort to prostitution...
Shame on George Costanza for not giving the sign security guard a better chair.
These signs can be soon anywere in DC. Local, $hitty DC contractors lose bids to larger non-union ones. They then hire the homeless to bang buckets and make noise, thereby causing a general disruption, and headaches for the unfortunate saps who have to work in the area.
Shame on the sign company for using sloppy white out.
Shame on Ballard Spahr for managing to "reduce" itself by 3 dozen attorneys and deny it all by not discussing personnel matters as a firm policy.
125 - this is 114. I'll have you know that my yearbook captions are hilarious. Like that picture of 1Ls drinking at a bar, with the caption "1Ls study for the bar exam." If you don't think that's funny, then you don't know funny.
We at BumFights will be suing you, 113.
Shame on X for over-shortening their firm name.
NY Law 2L stands in front of big law X protest handing out resume to hot shot partner who is confused that she goes to NYU while laid off TTT looks on
Protesters lament not springing for the two-sided sign after the only sidewalk space available faces the wrong way on a one-way street.
Nothing to do with law firm layoffs. It's just a typical D.C. Union protest. They obviously went with the low budget package. Back when the economy was roaring in 2006, they would have had 20 homeless people carrying signs and chanting slogans. Sometimes they would even spring for the giant inflatable rat.
Shame on my penis for not currently being in my secretary's ass.
105 & 106- tandem winners.
121, I'll always love you.
Shame on Big Law Firm X for confiscating my three-piece suit and my rolly chair when they laid me off.
Shame on Elie Mystal for his "large ass" contribution to the rising costs of healthcare as well as abusing affirmative action like a drunk redneck does to his wife after a Sunday NASCAR race.
"Looks like the suit is keeping his eyes on the prize, if you know what I mean."
"Shame on the law school that admitted commenter #42"
Shame on Lat for being born without a vagina.
"Rather than resorting to layoffs, TTT-firm DLA Piper has found an alternative way for its female associates to bill hours…"
128, I know. A few months ago they were picketing in front of one building on G St. before realizing it was the wrong one and then they brought their racket a block down the street.
Guy on bucket: "Do I need to be holding this sign? I'm not sure. But some guy paid me to hold it and to look angry. Do I look angry enough? Hey lady, give me one of those tic tacs!"
Excuse me, miss, does that mean they're hiring?
Is Biglaw Firm hiring? No? OK then. Are you hiring? I could be a really good picketer...
"All your labor agreements are belong to us."
Maybe if I just peer out from behind the sign the HR lady won't notice I stole her chair.
Dude on bucket: Shame on me for loving frumpy women.
"Birthers"
(get it? It's a labor dispute? BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!)
Frumpy white working girls of the world, UNITE!
152, that is so terrible it's awesome. Well done.
Partner Harry Cho suddenly realized Firm X should have put SOME restrictions on the kinds of employment that deferred 1st year associates could take on.
Shame on guy on the bucket for slowly trying to slide the sign to a pawn shop without anyone noticing.
Shame on the photog for just sitting there doing nothing while some black guy behind a sign stalks some innocent white people exchanging money.
Good Samaritan Law Watch Group Local 190
A lawyer says, "Tell me more about this thing you call 'shame'."
Shame on PE for not committing suicide .
Yustice for Yanitors!
The "sweatshop" stigma finally hits Biglaw.
On my law school application, I *may* have stated I wanted to change the world and work at a foundation trying pro bono cases. Now that my real dreams of raking $160k at Big Law are gone, I'll start protesting outside Latham by day and sleeping with Lat for cash by night.
"All signs point away from biglaw"
Shame on Lat! No force vacation!
Janice wasn't surprised that her first trick after getting laid off from her Biglaw gig was her old boss, but did he really have to ask for change for a twenty in front her old building?
Did our beloved Elie really just delurk to post a comment . . . with a typo in it?!?
May the Force Vacation be with you!
Bloada, the Elie Master
I know I have a "I don't give a sh*t" card somewhere in here.
"Juanita did not bring the red umbrella to shade her while she aided the protest movement - no, the gleaming corporate oppression behind her was sufficiently blocking out the sun. Juanita brought the umbrella so observers would know that she was there, taking a stand. Or a sit."
Sitting on a The Home Depot bucket requires a good cause.
"Falling Associate Zone"
Seyfarth Shaw
Shame On - Apply directly to Law Firm X.
Shame On - Apply directly to Law Firm X.
Shame On - Apply directly to Law Firm X.
Shame On - Apply directly to Law Firm X.
Shame On - Apply directly to Big Law Firm X.
Shame On - Apply directly to Big Law Firm X.
Shame On - Apply directly to Big Law Firm X.
Shame On - Apply directly to Big Law Firm X.
Blarf blarf.
Elie, oh my god, you fail at posting A FREAKING COMMENT WITHOUT A TYPO. Seriously, what the hell?
"Little did Penelope know that she was soon to be the first defendant in the newly enacted 'Good Samaritan Punishment Act of 2012'" muttered a surgically svelte Elie Mystal from behind his Screen of Whiteness"
Thomas M. Cooley Law School grads getting as close to BigLaw as possible.
Building amenities? They’re fantastic! I mean, we’ve had to cut back on a few luxury perks: coffee, cocoa, tea, garbage collection, custodial services, and kitchen and restroom cleaning. Let me grab you a brochure. We have lots of available space.
Overwealmed by the indian summer, the Paul Hastings partner removes his jacket and asks his associate for her emergency coat hanger.
If there were a giant inflatable rat I'd guess Latham.
"Latham's four remaining first years protest layoffs at Latham & Watkins"
Thanks for stopping by. By the way, here's a copy of my resume - I have lots of capital markets experience.
Okay, new favorites.
163 & 165 are big winners.
I think I'll still be laughing about 171 tomorrow.
Comment 30 is the first time PE has made me laugh....
Well done. PE, you're starting to grow on me.
No thank you, sir, we have plenty of towels.
As Willis looked upon yet another unsympathetic passerby, he thought to himself, "This is not my beautiful sign, this is not my beautiful orange bucket, well, how did I get here?"
"latham associates refuse to let it go"
Oh my God, what an embarrassing typo. I swear I only (and always) make typoes when getting blown by my wife. So yeah...think about that.
What did YOU do today.
188
Hi Dave Gordon!
189
Elie. Gross.
The first time it was a typo, the second time Elie just straight out misspelled "typos" because he's a fucking retard.
I just can't believe he went to Harvard.
CAPTION CONTEST FAIL
Clueless ATL interns seek to promote the blog with a large sign, but reveal its entire content.
A Spike Lee Joint that didn't get made because Malcolm failed the LSATs.
Elie, give the poor woman a break!
From Merriam-Webster:
Main Entry: ty·po
Pronunciation: \ˈtī-(ˌ)pō\
Function: noun
**Inflected Form(s): plural typos
"President Obama finds new target in war on America, law firms to close doors."
"Shame on you...
....Lady, for wearing that skirt"
south indian picketors hired to protest law firm's outsourcing of document review
Legal Bloggers protest, hold a sign reading: "Shame on...Find out who, after the jump"
are you gonna name the firm or what? I have nothing to do all day at my TTT firm and I'll probably be out of a job soon. For the love of God, at least give me some closure to this caption contest!
Stimulus: Obama Puts Union Thugs To Work
"Before there was Above the Law"
"Laid off employment and labor associates take hint from one of their cases"
"DaShaun, now you keep holding that sign for a minute. This nice man here just gave me some money to help him find something he lost over behind that dumpster there..."
Taking away our coffee was bad enough, but reducing us to pooping in discarded Home Depot buckets to cut down on the water bill was the last straw. Shame on you.
Ok, clearly we're out of ideas. Time to post the poll.
"Here we have the first ever labor dispute in which the employees are angry because they WANT to work in a sweatshop"
99 - It's not a BXP building, it's owned by Akridge (look at the windows)