More on Shorter Law Firm Names
Yesterday we wrote about Gina Rubel’s suggestion in the Legal Intelligencer that law firms namechecking multiple founding partners drop a few for shorter, easier, and more memorable names. ATL readers who voted in our poll were split down the middle on whether bigger is better. Over 800 votes were cast: 52% said they like a short firm… name and 48% said they prefer it long.
A Davis Polk & Wardwell spokesperson ATL commenter pointed out that the firm recently trimmed its name (in connection with its hottie-friendly website revamp):
DavisPolk has just changed its name for marketing purposes and has dropped Wardwell out - mention of DPW should have been made in this article. I am disappointed.
In yesterday’s post, we took the shortening advice a step further and suggested firms cut their names down to a couple of syllables, like Morrison & Foerster’s embracing the name MoFo. We recommended a few other (humorous) possibilities: ClearGo, SuCro, CoBu, WilCo, etc. As sometimes happens usual, ATL readers impressed us and made us chuckle with some of their responses. We’ve culled the over 100 comments for the best suggestions; here are our top ten favorites:
10. Haynes & Boone = HayBoo9. Fulbright & Jaworski = FulJaw
8. Sullivan & Cromwell should change its name to “Sully”. It would make it sound more “heroic”.
7. King & Spalding = KingS
6. Willkie Farr & Gallagher = WILF
Here are the top five:
5. Baker Hostetler = BakeHos4. Dewey & LeBoeuf = DewB
3. Wachtell, Lipton, Rosen & Katz. = WaLip
2. Goodwin Procter = GoodPro
1. Jones Day = Joda. “Solve your legal problems we will.”
If you came up with Joda, send us an e-mail confirming your IP address. Hook you up with an ATL t-shirt we will.
(96) 
Comments
First!
First!
It's a shame Pennie Edmunds is no longer around -- they could be Peed
I rule.
1 & 2.
Ha. This idea was real funny......the first time ATL ran it 2 years ago. Recycling old ideas=the shark has been jumped.
Debevoise & Plimpton has long been casually known as "D&P" (Dee and Pee?) but that practice has been discouraged by the Marketing Dept. I still say it...just to piss them off...
5 - Two years ago most of us weren't reading ATL.
Do you have a link?
You forgot LaTTTham . . . .
This thread has nothing to do with politics or the economy. Let's keep it that way.
Epic Kash Fail
Fried Frank --> Friek
Locke Lord = LoLo. Which is like it's offer rate. Less than 50% for 2Ls.
Hey Kash, what seafood is Maine famous for?
What's Elie been doing since Lat gave him the Lloyd ultimatum about losing weight and being professional?
13 - Assclams?
Isn't Hayboo used in H&B's marketing already?
Schiff Hardin = Schidin (as in, "all these layoffs have me Schidin bricks")
Townsend & Townsend & Crew = TarbabyCrew?
where is elie!?!?!?!??!
Hogan & Hartson - HoHa (pronounced HooHaa)
Skadden, Arps .... SAps
SkaddenArps Boston = SHarts
How about ShearSter?
must be a slow new day
Moore & Van Allen= MooVA
Cravath, Swaine & Moore = CraS
"HayBoo" actually isn't a suggestion. Haynes Boone actually uses it.
Squire Sanders=Squanders
Alston Bird = ABird
OMG how could you miss Milbank, Tweed, Hadley, and McCloy's new name:
MILTH
Thompson Hine = "piece of fucking shit hell hole full of incompetent dim-witted asshole partners constantly trying to stare at the female associates cleavage and asses"
Well, I guess I'm going to lose points for brevity, but high marks for accuracy!
14, I thought Lat was Lloyd?
"HayBoo"
"Mr. Arthur, honey..."
Does it have to be the first syllable in the names?
Hiscock and Barclay = Cock-lay
more information about firm offer rates for summer associates please Elie
more information about firm offer rates for summer associates please Elie
MOFO is retardedly hilarious. When I did OCI with that firm, I nearly burst out loud laughing at the self-important interviewer's referring to the firm as "mofo."
Maybe that's why I didn't get a callback. That and my thoroughly mediocre law school GPA.
Elie is a morbidly obese land whale = Morbhale
32- I think Lat is more like Ari, even though physically and, er, preference wise he probably is very Lloyd-like. Elie, though, would be Lloyd to Lat's Ari and Kash would be, maybe Drama.
Buttclam Bake.
MoFo is actually an abbreviation for Mouth Fucker, not Mother Fucker. Not a lot of people know that.
Mystal loves huge FUPA <8
How about Burns, Doane, Swecker & Mathis?
BD/SM
It kind of jumps out at you, doesn't it?
I think Kash is actually Andrew: Lat's buddy who initially provides him with respite from an otherwhise stressful work environment* but becomes a massive headache*1.
Or she could be Sloan: independently wealthy and a 10 by all acounts.
Roxana is Drama.
*See e.g. weekend trips to Lat's lakehouse.
*1See e.g. constant moderating of comments directed at her.
Seyfarth Shaw = SS
I was hoping for more love for my Ballard Spahr = Lard Spa. Because if you've been over to Market Street you'd know I was right. Then again, Lard Spa isn't exactly a peer firm anymore, is it?
Sidley Austin Brown & Wood changed to Sidley Austin, but attorney cards and marketing are just "Sidley".
Word on the street is that V&E Houston offered 30/78 summers...Follow up on this ATL.
31= anonfag
Latham and Watkins = "LatWat"
pronounced "lay twat"
Ropes & Gray = RoGray
Sounds like Scooby Doo saying "OK"
Thompson Hine sucks.
THiney?
49 = full of sexual frustration and impotent rage.
Sorry the ladies/lads don't like you. Why lash out with sexual aggression?
53 doesn't know of /b/, which is for the best
Hey Kash, what seafood dish is Maine famous for?
50 here.
I should clarify that it should be conceived of more like "les twat" or "le twat." Think of it as a french article....
LatWat
Thompson Hine.
tHOmpSON Hine.
HoSon?
Baker & McKenzie = Mickey D's (erh, I mean K)
53 - whoosh
50/56,
Just make it a Spanish reference, where La is an article, and you're good to go. No need to stretch for the French connection, so to speak.
I'd like to be Kash's boyfriend, and not for the reason some would think. Sure, the sex would be interesting, but the reason I'd want to be her boyfriend is so I could whisper the forbidden words relating to en bout de homard in her ear during the height (for her) of the sexual act.
Combine 57 and 52, and you get
HoSon Hiney
As in - Now that I work at Thompson Hine, I'm being treated like nothing but a piece of HoSon Hiney, and boy I sure am sore!
Dickstein Shapiro = Dicksha
61
Or, you could just grab the ass lobster in the act.
No need to be pretentious about it.
I would like to make some sex with Ms. Kash please thankyou much.
Shafeef
All your Dealbreaker spam are belong to us.
51 -- I prefer the traditional "Ropes & Chains," myself.
28, that's a good one but I like the one in the comments yesterday better, even though it is longer... Squire Sanders & Dipshit. It just fits, ya know?
Secretarius Rumpus Poundi
Why create these silly names when initials work just as well? We all know who WLRK, CSW, S&C, STB, DPW, etc are.
WILF = amazing... hhahahahahhaa...
Buckley Sander = BS
I once saw reprsentatives from Buckley Sandler and Morrison and Forrester on a panel and the third panelist made a point of noting that his fellow speakers were from the BS and MoFo law firms.
Probably the highlight of the entire conference. Aside from the happy hours.
Cooley Godward Kronish = CoGoKro
72
Other than picking up two cute associates to bang in my hotel room at the same time, conferences suck. Full of dry, dull people who seek to impress other equally dry, dull people. Or full of self-involved gasbag partners on the make.
Still awaiting the Duane Morris/Reed Smith merger -
Duane Reed
This one is real:
A firm called Gilbert Oshinsky is the "GO to Firm." It's the website, too: gotofirm.com. People sigh when they tell others their email addresses: "My email is last name first initial at" sigh "gotofirm.com."
Weil, Gotshal & Manges = WeGoMan
This is a post today? Must be pretty slow on the news front.
Can't we at least get one of Elie's trademark race-baiting posts?
74
You could be describing yourself on this board. A dry, dull person trying to impress others with your tales of "picking up two cute associates to bang in my hotel room at the same time." Fail.
The Weil name is incredible. Great going 77.
DPW has not changed its name - it has changed from a true partnership to an LLC (obviously for liability reasons...remember, PPP 17% down and now they have to give the Fed a 10% discount for their work on AIG). The correct name is: Davis Polk & Wardwell LLC. However, DPW refers to itself as DavisPolk on its homepage for marketing reason. But this is not the correct legal name.
V&E fucking sucks.
24- better than a slow old day.
Haynes & Boone does indeed use HayBoo internally (for ex, orientation for first years is called HayBoo U), but they don't really use it for external marketing purposes.
Blank Rome could be BlOme
81 - Davis Polk LLP not LLC
Ropes & Gray = RoGr (pronounced "Roger")
"How about Burns, Doane, Swecker & Mathis?
BD/SM"
BDSM-- "We will beat your opponents into submission"
BDSM-- "We will make them beg for mercy"
hahahhahaha
Mayer Brown = My Bro
like, "don't worry about that law suit, My Bro's got my back"
Hell, yeah, "hayboo" is used externally. They marketed it for a while, and have used "hayboo.com" for years.
Why would anyone ever try to shorten Hiscock & Barclay? From a marketing standpoint, who could forget that name? Maybe change the order, though...
"If you need legal help, talk to Barclay & Hiscock"
Isn't MOFO also a shortened form of the slang term "motherf*cker"?
haynes and boone = gayboone
or brokeback boone
their houston office has a lots of gay partners
if you are gay or lesbian, there is no better firm to work for in houston
king and spalding = kinky spalding
lots of lesbians
at least one of which allegedly slept with clients at a prior firm
kinky spalding rocks !
Can someone please explain the kash + lobsters thing?
Can someone please explain the kash + lobsters thing?