Lawsuit of the Day: The Real Mothers-in-Law of NYC
My wife and I live four blocks away from my mother. I have a little bit of experience balancing one’s mother and one’s wife and not getting crushed by a domestic pincer attack of disastrous consequences.
As any good husband-son will tell you, the best policy is to stay far, far away from any skirmishes between your wife and your mother. Never underestimate the power of “selective deafness.” My wife and my mother can be having a conversation right in front of me, and if I hear something that could lead to conflict, I can “un-hear” statements before they make it to my hippocampus. All I hear is “First-and-ten on the Dallas 40. Manning drops back … incomplete.”
Later I can agree with my wife’s interpretation and my mother’s interpretation with perfect honesty. What do I know? I wasn’t even there!
Of course, such familial gymnastics might not be possible if my wife were a public person. For instance, my mother-in-law lives thousands of miles away. I like that. On the public forum of this blog, all you’ll ever hear me say is “my mother-in-law is the bestest most awesomest person ever! It only took her a decade to learn how to pronounce my name!”
New York comedian Sunda Croonquist apparently doesn’t have my skill for tact. Her act, which has been featured on Comedy Central, apparently contains a number of jokes made at her mother-in-law’s expense.
Is she hoping to get a sitcom? Probably. But instead she’s earned a defamation lawsuit — filed by her mother-in-law.
Ruth Zafrin is the litigious mother-in-law. According to the New York Post:
Ruth Zafrin, of Midwood, claims her son’s wife, veteran comic Sunda Croonquist, has spread defamatory and racist lies about her with the “Take my mother-in-law, please!” jokes that are a staple of her routine….Zafrin’s daughter, Shelley, and son-in-law, Neil Edelman, who live in Morganville, NJ, are co-plaintiffs.
Furious at being Croonquist’s perpetual punch lines, they seek unspecified damages and want the court to make the comedian remove offensive statements from her Web site, routines and recordings.
I think I’d rather go to Thanksgiving dinner with Colonel Frank Slade than break bread with the Zafrins this year.
Meanwhile, you have to feel terrible for the poor husband, Mark Zafrin. But — as any guy worth his briefs will tell you — when forced to make a call, you side with your wife all the time. No exceptions, no debates, no equivocation. Mark Zafrin is a lawyer, and he apparently got the memo. He works at Abrams, Fensterman, Fensterman, Eisman, Greenberg, Formato & Einiger, LLP and is bringing the full weight of that employment to his wife’s defense:
Croonquist — who is being represented by her husband’s New York law firm — has said she will drop offensive language, but won’t pay a settlement.
Yep. Sounds about right. Especially if your wife is as hot as Sunda Croonquist. Your mom brought you into this world, but your wife can take you out.
MOTHER-IN-LAW IN ‘GAG’ ORDER [New York Post]
(36) Comments
Comments
Figgiti FIRST!
Captain FIRST!
5138008
5318008, I mean.
Number of ungrammatical paragraphs it took Elie to reach the subject-matter of this non-story: four.
Where is Kash today? Every time she goes away, she takes a piece of me with her.
For those not that into standup comedy, I'll let you into a little secret: Having your act "featured" on Comedy Central is like getting your letter to the editor published. An accomplishment, true, and something you put on your comedy resume, but it's not exactly the same thing as an HBO one-hour special. I wouldn't be surprised (but dont' know) if she probably still does bringer shows (where comedians need to bring a certain number of paying customers--usually friends and family--to the club to get stage time; you ID which act you're there for when you buy your ticket).
Someone posted a link to a photo of Kash last week. The picture was taken while she was at some event (I can't remember which event). Anyway, Kash has the body and face of a 50-year old cancer survivor that has undergone extensive radiation therapy. I hope this puts an end to the "Kash is hot" comments. The guys making the "Kash is hot" comments are pathetic--probably overweight, pasty and have no chance of bagging a truly hot girl.
That is all.
Oh, you're all losers.
What stage is she on? Where are all the hell-raisers at? Gimme a hell ya!
What the F**k is this crap?
Elie:
I've been a major detractor of yours but being recently married this is the best post I've read by you.
Your last sentence was perfect.
Legal reference in paragraph 1, please, for relevance.
Slow clap for Mystal not writing "mother-in-laws".
"I think I'd rather go to Thanksgiving dinner with Colonel Frank Slade than have break bread with the Zafrin's this year"
than have break bread
Do you even read your posts again before you hit the publish button?
Marshall Dennehey to $55 k !
Elie has a wife? That's the most significant part of this post. Poll suggestion--who has bigger moobs?
7 - See, I thought your mom was hot when I bagged her.
What 7 said. Commenting on a non-lawyer is more pertinent to the law than commenting on "familial gymnastics."
Elie, not "Zfrin's" but "Zafrins." Plural not possessive.
I'm surprised Elie has a wife. I'm not surprised Elie lives four blocks away from his momma.
Let's ask the pertinent question, is the MIL a MILF?
As a wife, I have to ask why you're allowing conflict to even happen between your wife and mother. If there's any conflict, you should always (at least to your mother) side with your wife and deal with the conflict yourself. Just as she should do with her family. Not nice.
The ship be sinking!
21 - But what if the wife is being a raving beyatch and is wrong?
Elie, this was a great post. The posts from the other editors often lack personality (i.e., evidence that they are human beings with actual lives).
You go through this whole guide on how not to piss off the wife, then you cap it off by saying obeying the wife is especially key if, like Croonquist, she is hella, hella hot.. Maybe my wife is paranoid, but I have learned that this particular type of rhetorical flourish will be punshed sooner or later---usually later, and with soaring indignance. Never state that any woman, e.g., Croonquist, is hot, unless your wife says so first and your opinion is expressly sought on the subject. And even then you must answer in an indifferent monotone.
I know Mark Zafrin. Good guy who has to commute between NY and LA to keep his family happy. He needs this like a hole in the head.
25-- I answer in an indifferent monotone, but then my wife complains that my lack of reaction indicates my standards are too high and that therefore I must not find her (my wife) attractive either. No way to win.
Article is completely worthless without examples of the jokes that are the basis of the suit.
This may honestly be the worst post I've ever read on this site. I suffered through the banal story about your interaction with your wife and mother for absolutely fucking NOTHING.
25 and 27 -- it looks like you guys have chosen some wonderful ladies. enjoy the rest of your life.
- someone who's wife expects me to act like a man
I just looked at the NYPost site, and we're all missing the real story here. How on earth did a guy working on his third chin manage to land this chick?!
AWESOME. . . .enough said
30- The guy working on his third chin is married to the plaintiff--the old bag. They make a good couple.
A fairly obvious publicity stunt to attract attention to an aspiring comic, don't you think? She does mother-in-law jokes? Good grief.
Ellie:
I say this with love in my heart: Next time, forget the windup--just throw the pitch.
Which is another way of saying you buried the lead.
1-2-punch line.
How did this guy get that girl?
There will always be more good looking women (and this one is hardly drop-dead beautiful) than guys with money.
Until you come to grips with that fact you will always be a whipped dog lamenting “how did he get a girl like that”.
Get some confidence.
25 and 27 -- I sympathize. I prefer to pretend that I did not notice the hotness, and then immediately after being questioned and giving the "I did not see her" answer pull up the blackberry to attend to an "urgent" work matter. Yes, she will be miffed, but over work (as usual) and not over the real or perceived hotness of another woman (which means no couch time for me).